Male and female sneezing....and an evil thought...

[Vetinari]

OOOoh it’s a long time since I’ve had such a good week…

I had arranged to go out for lunch with my friend on Tuesday and was really looking forward to it as we had been waiting ages for a date we could both manage. She phoned me on Tuesday morning to check if it was still on (we both have children at school so there’s always the risk of last minute cancellations) and on the phone said “I’m full of the cold –is that OK?” Of course it was!!!!... so we arranged to meet at her house for some girly time (hair and make up and stuff) as we really wanted to push the boat out and enjoy ourselves.

I’m not really into girly sneezes but will describe hers anyway for those of you who do…..

She was drying my hair for me (I said it was a girly day). She’s tall and slim 5’8” and slim size 12 (U.S size 8) with big blue eyes, dark blonde hair and very nice regular features. She turned off the dryer and said

“Excuse me I’m gonna……Hi-chew ..hi-chew……hi-chew……sneeze”.

She has a really high pitched sneeze which I guess would be really cute if I liked that sort of thing. She sneezed uncovered (she had a drier in one hand and a brush in the other!) but turning away and sneezing at the floor.

The restaurant we chose was a Chinese restaurant we have been to before and it is just full of gorgeous Chinese men with fantastic dark brown eyes and great cheekbones. I was more or less finished with my meal when I heard a loudish “HU-EESSHUUUUU”. Looking round I thought it had come from the youngest and best looking of these gorgeous staff as he had a sneezy look still on his face. We were sitting just beside a corridor which leads out of the restaurant to some private staff areas and to my extreme (and I mean EXTREME) delight he headed into this corridor, presumably to gain some privacy form the customers in the busy restaurant. He proceeded to sneeze again a nice loudish double “Huu –ESSHHuu….HI-EESCHUU”. He had his back turned to us and each sneeze bent him double……he had nicely fitting black trousers and a gorgeous slim (but not skinny) figure. The view was AMAZING and was all the better for the fact that he had obviously gone into the corridor for a bit of privacy and we were having our own special show! He then proceeded to get out a nice clean looking white hanky and blow his nose (I couldn’t hear it – sorry). He then stood for a few moments gathering himself before turning and coming back into the restaurant sniffling slightly. It was just SO hot it was unreal.

Anyway to the evil thought…. I am now coming down with a cold myself (happily I seem to have bypassed the sore throat and gone straight to the nose running stage which I don’t mind nearly as much). Tomorrow I have a meeting with a COMPLETE ASSHOLE who I hate with a vengeance. He has been hassling me about something over quite a period of time in an unnecessarily condescending way which frankly I find really offensive. My nose as I have said is quite runny, and in the first few days is clear and presumably virus laden. During this meeting I will almost certainly have to shake hands with the asshole and I know from previous encounters he rubs his eyes A LOT. OOOoohh…… I’m so tempted……I can’t think of anyone who deserves a cold more…….

[Sneesee]

Oooh, I love the guy from the restaurant!!! Hiding in the corridor to sneeze, yummy! Thank you!

And about that idea you had, it is so evil!!! But, if you wanted to do it, it'd be very easy to pull off. I mean, all you'd have to do is touch something that he touches on a regualr basis, like his phone or computer. Wait, I didn't mean you should do that, I'm just sayin' if you really wanted to...

[And Beat Him When He Sneezes]

I'd say do it.