Jemmabean Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 Okay, so my brain is STILL on fire from this shit, and it happened hours ago. People with freakishly overdeveloped memories, or people who enjoyed the obs I posted so much they bookmarked it and read it when they're in the mood might remember me posting an obs about a woman I work with named S. I wrote a description of her once and I don't want to write another, so click my name, click "find topics" and check out my other work obs. Heh. Laziness go!Anyway, I'm on my last call for the night before my shift ends. (I work at a call center, doing mainly postpaid customer care for an ohio-based wireless phone company) It's a REALLY easy call, too. Just some woman wanting to change her phone number, which is a matter of clicking a couple of times and giving her the right information to go with it, and I've done it a quadrillion times.I'm standing up, looking over the tops of the cubicle-rowdesk-thingers, and I happened to glance at S at just the right moment to catch her frozen in a pre-sneeze face. Tissue in her hand, eyes squinted shut (and this next should give you an idea of precisely how good my view was ) and I could even see that her nostrils were pink and getting pinker, and that there was a tear collecting in the outside corner of the eye that was facing me.After holding that face for almost TWENTY SECONDS (I remember thinking "that must TICKLE LIKE NOBODY'S BUSINESS, I'm glad that's not me"), she pitches forward into her tissue with two sneezes, pretty close together."Huh-EschOOOW! HUH-ESCHOOW!!"I reached over, tapped "mute," and called out to her (I was feeling giddy and therefore emboldened) "Gesundheit!"She turns to me and I can see her blinking and rubbing her nose, her lips parting slightly before she spoke (you could tell she had more coming, and I was shaking a little with the anticipation) "Yuh... you might want to wait until I'm done. I feel like I have to sneeze fifty times or suh... *sniffle* so. HUH-ESCHEEW!" So I un-mute myself and attempt to continue with the call, "No, I'm still here ma'am. I'm just bringing up your new mobile number right now."And this shit happens. S keeps sneezing. Normally she's good for three, four, five at a time (she's very allergic to dust and work is dusty ) but I shit you not, this was TWENTY IN A ROW (best part being I didn't even have to count - when she really gets going, she counts them herself and announces the total!).Now, when we change a customer's mobile number because they've been getting harassing calls (and this woman was) there's a spiel you're supposed to give them after you do it. Not so hard, right? Picture this shit:"Okay, ma'am, so (HUH-ESSSCH!) *ahem* uh, s-so your mobile (HUH-ESSSCH!) m-m-mobile n-number has been, uh.. uh... (HUH-ESSSCH!) CHANGED, changed to, uh (HUH-ESSSCH!) f-f-f-five one th-(HUH-ESSSCH!)ee, uh, three (etc etc) (HUH-ESSSCH!) a-a-and, uh, you m-muhhhay (HUH-ESSSCH! HUH-ESSSCH! HUH-ESSSCH!!!!) um... What w-was I saying a-(HUH-ESSSCH!) uhhhgain?""Are you okay? You sound like you're about to pass out." (this was the customer!)"(HUH-ESSSCH!! HUH-ESSSCH!!!) I'm f-fine. As I was saying, you (HUH-ESSSCH!) may contact (HUH-ESSSCH!) our (HUH-ESSSCH!! HUH-ESSSCH!) uh-uh-uhnnoyance call (HUH-ESSSCH!) bless you, I mean, uh, bureau (HUH-ESSSCH!) to get further (HUH-ESSSCH!) assistance w-w-with th-those calls you've been sending (HUH-ESSSCH!) I mean receiving. Are there any further kweh-kweh-questions? (HUH-ESSSCHOOOO!!!!)"I have never felt less put-together and professional in my ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE. I believe that customer thought I was either on drugs or dying. I was breathing heavily, sweating like a goddamn pig, and to make it even funnier, a bunch of my friends there know about my fetish, so they were standing up, looking at me in either pity or malicious amusement.It was a good day at work. Link to comment
liricospinto Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I don't know whether to congratulate you, offer sympathy, chuckle, or hope nobody tells your boss Delightful obs . . . lucky you! Link to comment
brokensneeze Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 I don't get it. Why are the words of the spiel all "hitched" and cut off by the sneezes--I thought YOU were giving the spiel and some lady in another cubicle was doing the sneezing. Link to comment
Poppy Posted June 8, 2007 Share Posted June 8, 2007 HOLY CRAP!I would have totally just melted right there!LOL I Love the part when your co-workers are looking at you. That would have just done me in. Link to comment
a_nonny_mouse Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I don't get it. Why are the words of the spiel all "hitched" and cut off by the sneezes--I thought YOU were giving the spiel and some lady in another cubicle was doing the sneezing.I'm guessing this is because when the woman sneezed, the OP stopped breathing. :-) I certainly would. Link to comment
liricospinto Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 It seemed pretty clear to me that the writer of the obs was stammering with distracted and nervous arousal, and the sneezes were in parentheses to indicate at what points in the speech he heard them. Link to comment
Trillium Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I loved this observation. Of course, it was lovely to hear about the sneezes, but I particularly liked how you described your inability to carry on a normal-sounding conversation with your customer while S's sneezing fit was going on! This was exciting and amusing at the same time. Bravo; you have a real talent here. Link to comment
Jemmabean Posted June 9, 2007 Author Share Posted June 9, 2007 I thank you for all your kind replies, and liricospinto, you nailed it. "Stammering with distracted and nervous arousal" sums it up 100%. What an obs it was Link to comment
Trillium Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I thank you for all your kind replies, and liricospinto, you nailed it. "Stammering with distracted and nervous arousal" sums it up 100%. What an obs it was Just one more question, though -- how long was it after that before YOU could safely stand up? Just wondering. . . . . Link to comment
Lamborghini Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 I thank you for all your kind replies, and liricospinto, you nailed it. "Stammering with distracted and nervous arousal" sums it up 100%. What an obs it was Just one more question, though -- how long was it after that before YOU could safely stand up? You naughty girl you! Hey, I don't blame ya for what happened to ya. I don't know what I would have done. I have never seen a woman sneeze so much. If I did.... Lamborghini Link to comment
elements Posted June 9, 2007 Share Posted June 9, 2007 HAHAHAHHA I just can't stop laughing! This was such a great obs! I would have DIED in this situation! Thank you for sharing with us! I'm sorry it was so awkward! Link to comment
sneezinglover Posted June 10, 2007 Share Posted June 10, 2007 Those obs are amazing! Thanks man! Link to comment
Jemmabean Posted June 12, 2007 Author Share Posted June 12, 2007 I thank you for all your kind replies, and liricospinto, you nailed it. "Stammering with distracted and nervous arousal" sums it up 100%. What an obs it was Just one more question, though -- how long was it after that before YOU could safely stand up? Just wondering. . . . . Pervert. ...A few minutes.-tys Link to comment
Triosk1 Posted June 12, 2007 Share Posted June 12, 2007 Great obs, I can so imagine not being able to talk in that situation. I can't talk when someone sneezes near me once normally, let alone continuing to do so while I'm trying to hold a conversation. But lucky you all the same. Link to comment
Trillium Posted June 13, 2007 Share Posted June 13, 2007 I thank you for all your kind replies, and liricospinto, you nailed it. "Stammering with distracted and nervous arousal" sums it up 100%. What an obs it was Just one more question, though -- how long was it after that before YOU could safely stand up? Just wondering. . . . . Pervert. ...A few minutes.-tysOh, you know me, then? You betcha! Link to comment
Jemmabean Posted June 24, 2007 Author Share Posted June 24, 2007 tee-hee.she's been on vacation recently, and it's funny - i find myself really missing her presence even though we really don't speak much. mostly because i work in a small department in a small office, and everyone knows everyone else's business - so, while it's not really DISCUSSED publicly, i'm sure my fetish is public knowledge. as a result, (since S sneezes so damn much, and i ALWAYS try and check her out while she does it ) i'm kind of uncomfortable conversing with her, and also - she's twice my age and had close friends there, not really part of the younger "social circle," if you will, within the office.la la, random musings. i want S to come back, dammit! Link to comment
Coffee Mug Posted October 13, 2008 Share Posted October 13, 2008 gaaaaaaaah! I love this obs!!! My God you poor thing how did you manage to talk and give a sense in what you were saying!!GREAT!!! And I want her back too, did she have another fit?? Link to comment
aquadyne14 Posted October 14, 2008 Share Posted October 14, 2008 And I want her back too, did she have another fit?? me to! me to! when is here flight landing?!?!? this obs is more like a story/fantasy i would have felt the same way in your situation - its completely amazing you were able to get any words out at all - lol. and i'm sure glad us girls don't have to worry about standing up! thanks for sharing a great obs! Link to comment
Jemmabean Posted October 14, 2008 Author Share Posted October 14, 2008 You are welcome! Sadly there will be nothing more from sneezy S... I have not worked at that place for a few months now, and I don't intend to go back. But it was definitely an experience for the books! Link to comment
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