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unsupportive SO's


HarleyQuinnSFF

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alright, so my SO and i got more in depth about the fetish. and he laughed at me. and hes like "i thought you were kidding.. you seriously get turned on by sneezing? you cant be serious."

needless to say... my self esteem isnt that great right now..

what should i do now? :cat:

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Guest WalterDESneeze

Even if I did not have a fetish, I feel it is a guys obligation to do what he can to please his woman, but thats just my half a nickel.

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I've never been in this situation, so I don't know exactly how it feels. I'll do the best I can with my own thoughts.

Maybe give him time to think about it? There's some fetishes that WE'D get weirded out by, and it may be something your boyfriend hasn't been aware of in the past. People react in many different ways.

Next time you talk about it, just make sure in a polite way he knows that this is part of who you are. You shouldn't change to please someone else, you are you! I hope your self esteem gets higher. And if he thinks ur 'weird', just let him know there's over 1000 other people like you online.

Sorry I can't be more helpful, but best of luck and please keep us updated.

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Whoa, this can get sort of difficult. First off, please don't let any significant other ruin your self-esteem. You are who you are, and should be proud of it. This fetish is a part of you, and you should embrace it, not be ashamed of it.

Here's the thing, I do have a somewhat supportive partner, and even he has had diffculties with my fetish over the few years he's known about it. I honestly think that people who have fetishes themselves, are in a better position to understand how something like this can affect us. There have been times when he's said to me, "Gee, I wish I had something like that." And in a way, he does, just not as strong as what I have. I know a few things that get him going, and have totally understood, even though I waited to come clean with my fetish.

I think most people just can't fathom that sneezing turns us on. I mean, sneezing is usually something that most people don't notice, or are grossed out by.

Perhaps, be patient with him, and give him some time to wrap his mind around it. And maybe the next time he sneezes in front of you, give him a "reward" so to speak, or say something nice about it, so he can equate sneezing with the way it makes you feel. I call this "training," or "conditioning." Hopefully, he'll start thinking of oyu every time he does it, and eventually realize how harmless and fun it can be! That's probably my best advice. In fact, that was what I had to do with hubby. And he finally gets it now!! A couple of years later, but hey, at least he got it!

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thanks, i think im gonna talk to him tonight about it .. just so its not as wierd. he just seemed kinda grossed out by it and was like.. wtf? he doesnt really have a fetish though.. so its hard for him to understand. =]

ill use your tips on the training too... :winkkiss:

got to train my bad boy :bleh:

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Please don't hate me... but I had a problem with someone (not a SO) not accepting this fetish, so I actually had tried for a long time to get rid of my fetish (please don't hate me *get's down on hands and knees*) Nothing I did worked. I tried hypnosis, telling myeself "things" when people sneezed, and even hurting myself... After we moved away from him, I still tried to get rid of my fetish nothing ever worked. Then I stumbled apon this forum and I have become more accepting of my fetish, plus I don't live with the one who didn't accept it anymore, which made it easier for me. Also thanks you guys, for helping me become more accepting of my fetish :winkkiss: and now I'm not as afraid as I used to be.

My adivce is like everyone else says, if they truly love you they will accept you for you, and this fetish is a part of you. And I had lost ALOT of self-esteem from this same person who gave me "problems" because I have this fetish, but I don't think your SO will give you problems, maybe like sneesee said... just condition him, and let him know you weren't joking and that it hurt your feelings the way responded, maybe that will help...

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aww i wont/ dont hate you for that. =] even if he did hate me for it.. i wouldnt change it for the world. id just find other ways to enjoy. i think the whole thing is just new to him.. and hes not sure what to think or what to do with it.. so he kinda freaked out. im pretty sure once i finish my monthly cycle he will try something.. cuz he called me today.. sniffling... and asked if i was done with my monthly yet.. and i said no.. and he said.. "damn... ok"

so i think everything is going to be fine. ill let yall know :winkkiss:

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Thanks for keeping us informed. I'd really like to know how this turns out for you and wish you the best of luck.

Also, GS, don't feel bad about trying to get rid of your fetish. I've thought about it often because I don't want to be considered weird by people or feel that I'm a freak for it. I'm actually thankful for you disclosing that information so now I know it is hopeless for me to try to do so... not that I want to anymore.

And, thank you also to all the people on here who remind all of us that we are not freaks for having this fetish, for helping us accept that this is a part of us... and not a bad one at that, and for reminding us that we are not alone in this.

((((((((hugs to everyone))))))))))

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someone should set up a training academy for SOs of sneeze fetishists. :bleh:

almost everyone i've told about this has looked at me like i was incurably weird for a few moments. but the fact that i bluntly tell them its just how i am, and that i cant change it...(sorry the brain just gets wired that way), and that i LIKE it...generally gets them to think about it a little more. not to mention, most of the guys i know have thought about it a bit and realized how easy it would be to get me turned on (or any fetishist) and that gets them being "boys"

i do hope that your SO comes around...and that you and he have fun after the monthly misery.... :winkkiss:

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Forgive my bluntness, but I'm going to be frank: Your SO is a chump.

Any guy who is told "here is this mundane thing that totally gets me hot" and ignores, mocks, disregards or otherwise fails to realize the amazing break he's been given is a complete and utter fool.

Men spend most of their lives doing (what seems to us) the most ridiculous and convoluted things to attract women. We make (what seems to us) a herculean effort to get them to let us be close to them. We fail 99% of the time.

Now this guy's given the "magic bullet" and he doesn't even realize it? I hope for your and his sake that it just took him by surprise, and he was so amazed that he just didn't know what to say. That's understandable. But if he's honestly stupid enough not to realize what piece of absolute gold just got dropped in his lap...

Well, like Ron White said: You can't cure stupid.

On behalf of men everywhere: Get one who's smart enough to appreciate these things!!! They should be beating a path to your door!!!

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Forgive my bluntness, but I'm going to be frank: Your SO is a chump.

Any guy who is told "here is this mundane thing that totally gets me hot" and ignores, mocks, disregards or otherwise fails to realize the amazing break he's been given is a complete and utter fool.

Men spend most of their lives doing (what seems to us) the most ridiculous and convoluted things to attract women. We make (what seems to us) a herculean effort to get them to let us be close to them. We fail 99% of the time.

Now this guy's given the "magic bullet" and he doesn't even realize it? I hope for your and his sake that it just took him by surprise, and he was so amazed that he just didn't know what to say. That's understandable. But if he's honestly stupid enough not to realize what piece of absolute gold just got dropped in his lap...

Well, like Ron White said: You can't cure stupid.

On behalf of men everywhere: Get one who's smart enough to appreciate these things!!! They should be beating a path to your door!!!

I agree with Niceguy (and Ron White). You don't have to settle for table scraps when you could be having a sumptuous feast. Of course he's backtracking now; he knows you'll buy it.

Besides even a half brain dead non-fetishist could figure out how cute your sneeze is. :dead:

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someone should set up a training academy for SOs of sneeze fetishists. :lol:

almost everyone i've told about this has looked at me like i was incurably weird for a few moments. but the fact that i bluntly tell them its just how i am, and that i cant change it...(sorry the brain just gets wired that way), and that i LIKE it...generally gets them to think about it a little more. not to mention, most of the guys i know have thought about it a bit and realized how easy it would be to get me turned on (or any fetishist) and that gets them being "boys"

i do hope that your SO comes around...and that you and he have fun after the monthly misery.... :laugh:

i like your idea chui :)

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Forgive my bluntness, but I'm going to be frank: Your SO is a chump.

Any guy who is told "here is this mundane thing that totally gets me hot" and ignores, mocks, disregards or otherwise fails to realize the amazing break he's been given is a complete and utter fool.

Men spend most of their lives doing (what seems to us) the most ridiculous and convoluted things to attract women. We make (what seems to us) a herculean effort to get them to let us be close to them. We fail 99% of the time.

Now this guy's given the "magic bullet" and he doesn't even realize it? I hope for your and his sake that it just took him by surprise, and he was so amazed that he just didn't know what to say. That's understandable. But if he's honestly stupid enough not to realize what piece of absolute gold just got dropped in his lap...

Well, like Ron White said: You can't cure stupid.

On behalf of men everywhere: Get one who's smart enough to appreciate these things!!! They should be beating a path to your door!!!

i also agree with niceguy, and Ron White. :laugh:
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alright, so my SO and i got more in depth about the fetish. and he laughed at me. and hes like "i thought you were kidding.. you seriously get turned on by sneezing? you cant be serious."

needless to say... my self esteem isnt that great right now..

what should i do now? :laugh:

Whack him in the head with a wet noodle :)

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Please don't hate me... but I had a problem with someone (not a SO) not accepting this fetish, so I actually had tried for a long time to get rid of my fetish (please don't hate me *get's down on hands and knees*) Nothing I did worked. I tried hypnosis, telling myeself "things" when people sneezed, and even hurting myself...

I had another habit that annoyed a friend of mine, so to stop myself from doing it I would say "Vastness of nothing" over and over. After awhile that started to get on his nerves. :)

This friend once described his allergies to me in this manner:"sometimes I get these sneezing attacks." I have yet to witness one. :laugh:

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I had another habit that annoyed a friend of mine, so to stop myself from doing it I would say "Vastness of nothing" over and over. After awhile that started to get on his nerves. :drool:

:wub: Yeah, I'd have to say THAT would be pretty annoying in its own right after awhile! :wub:

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:nohappy: Yeah, I'd have to say THAT would be pretty annoying in its own right after awhile! :innocent:

I think you had to be there to understand that one :)

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