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not your fetish- your partners!


brownsville

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hi, my partner recently told me about his fetish- i knew briefly what it was but i found some stuff on his computer that hed made little attempt to hide (some acronyms typed into the search) and i asked him what it was and he happily showed it to me and explained about it. i accepted it- but i initially fely weirded out by it- how could he find THAT a turn on? we've talked about it a lot and i do accept it, but i feel a bit weird still about it and it made me understand how it must feel to tell a non fetishist about your fetish- something that to YOU is really erotic and associated with sex, but to others just seems really bizarre.

i've never really thought about the tables being turned before and as i thought about it i began to think how having this fetish makes me more tolerant of other people's. he showed me some pictures and i initially thought "WHAT?" "WHY?" then i thought- hang on- if somebody saw some of the content of stuff i look at, theyd feel the same and you cant help what youre turned on by.

as i started to think about this ive realised that my understanding of my fetish has made me want to try some things out with my SO, because i think about how much i'd enjoy being indulged and accepted. (i've not told just because i'm sure that half of my kick from it comes from the fact its secret and i think my self consciousness would kill it!- luckily my bf gets hayfever a lot...;)) but i wonder what it must be like for somebody with no fetishes to be told about this one and how it would make them feel, whether theyd feel pressured to indulge you. i felt pressured at first because i thought of how much i enjoy this fetish, but i thought it cant hurt to try! i love my partner and he understands how i feel and we trust each other and i realised the only pressure was that id put on myself.

I thought this would be a good point for discussion- does your SO have a fetish? how do you feel about it? have you been asked/volunteered to indulge? how does your partner feel about your fetish (assuming your partner is a non fetishist) does your fetish make you more tolerant of others' kinks and likely to indulge them? Or do you feel hypocritical even, because you dont enjoy your SO's fetish or find it distasteful?

p.s- i've been looking for some forums for what my SO is into so i could ask some questions or take a look about- theres hardly any and a lot of them are a bit seedy with not much activity- its funny cos our community is not mainstream but its soooo much better than theirs !! it made me realise what a great community we have here! we rock!

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Well, my hubby has always told me he's jealous that he doesn't have a fetish like mine. However, he has certain turn-ons, that I always try to respect. Even before I told him about my fetish, I've always tried to understand where he was coming from. Probably just because I've always thought to myself, "How could sneezing turn anyone on?" But that was before finding this place and all of you. I'm sure some people think it's strange, and would probably be really offended seeing some of our stuff, but most open-minded people wouldn't.

So, if the tables were turned, I think I'd definitely understand. Now, it doesn't mean that I would indulge him, since he isn't quick to do that with me. :twisted:

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I totally understand where you are coming from. My boyfriend is wonderful about my fetish. When I told him he was mostly just curious and asked me tons of questions and he's always indulging me and thinking of new things I might like. He didn't mind at all when I asked him if I could tell you guys about all the wonderful things he does, and he even joined the forum to ask questions and find out more about my fetish! His name is Verchiel. So since he's been so great, and even before I told him, I've tried to be as understanding as I can with his little kinks. And I think it works the same way: since he has his own strange things that he likes, it's easy for him to accept strange things in me. Whenever he seems worried that I'll think he's bizarre for a certain fetish of his, I always just tell him that hey, I like sneezing, who am I to talk? And I really don't mind anything of his, for all I'm clumsy at trying to indulge them.

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Well, this doesn't apply to my current situation (thankfully :blink:) but my ex had a major ass fetish. The bigger I got when I was pregnant, the happier he was... he was also REALLY into doggie-style and anal. I was willing to indulge him somewhat, but damn if that ain't painful. I tried it a few times, but he used to get really upset when I wouldn't (and I hadn't told him about my fetish either). :blink: It was a major strain on our relationship, and was definitely one of the factors involved in the end of the relationship.

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You know, I actually really WISH my partner had a fetish. It would make things more fun, and then I'd have some sort of a tool to be able to use when I needed it.

I've actually asked him multiple times if there's anything he likes like that and TOLD HIM I'd be happy to indulge anything he wanted. Sigh...I've asked him so many times if he likes me to dress up. Sadly no. But if I ever have to find another man, wanting to see me dress up is going to have to be a prerequisite for being with me! :huh: I'm not joking!

I can only think of TWO things that would really freak me out, that I would say flat out "no" forever to. Vomit and faeces.

And yeah, I've looked up stuff on the internet to do with my other fetish and I'd NEVER join any of those sites. This one is so friendly and fun...places for other fetishes seem so...creepy...to me anyway. I love how we can talk about the finer points of sneezing here and still be friendly and have fun and treat each other like people!

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Well, this doesn't apply to my current situation (thankfully :bleh:) but my ex had a major ass fetish. The bigger I got when I was pregnant, the happier he was... he was also REALLY into doggie-style and anal. I was willing to indulge him somewhat, but damn if that ain't painful. I tried it a few times, but he used to get really upset when I wouldn't (and I hadn't told him about my fetish either). :rolleyes: It was a major strain on our relationship, and was definitely one of the factors involved in the end of the relationship.

Yes, I once had a girlfriend with a terrible breast-fetish; she used to insist I suck and bite her nipples; same with her earlobes; you might have thought this would make her more open to obviously disgusting things like sucking and biting her nose and other sneezy fun, but she never really showed the same enthusiasm . I suppose that some people will just disapprove of anything they themselves don't get aroused by.

I've always assumed that I may be keener to go along with other peoples foibleses because of my own interests, but now I think of it, wouldn't I be just as likely to indulge someone if I had no particular whims of my own? It's just so attractive to have someone being really naughty, whatever the specific details of the naughtiness. In fact naughty things are fun even if neither party is completely serious about them.

Oh, and I also once had a girlfriend with what I now see to be a serious bottom fetish; but at the time I just assumed it was normal.

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  • 1 month later...

brownsville, what's your SO's fetish? I'm sorry I'm really curious about these kind of things...

I never had an SO who I told about the fetish, or where they had a fetish, maybe because I was young didn't know that the feeling I get when guys sneeze is being turned on, and I haven't had a boyfriend since I was about 14, in 2002. I would probably only tell an SO about this or my other fetish if they told me about something that turns them on, and I feel comfortable enough, of course it would probably take me an hour to say the word, "sneeze" seriously. It took me 2 hours to tell my best friend what my fetish is, I was surprised he had the patience for that :angry: My other one i can say as if it weren't a fetish, one of the reasons it took me so long to figure out it was just a weaker a fetish...

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It is hard looking at it from the other way around, isn't it? Luckily i can easily satisfy Jodi's fetish. If i want to get her going, i use it to my advantage :angry:

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Some of you longer term members might remember me - Kessie - from years ago (and of course Bondi and I go way back). I'm still around but have become quite the lurker rather than the regular poster. So a big "HI!" to all who remember me and another big "HI!" to all who have no idea who I am - and probably don't care, either!!

Anyway, my fiance has a thing for feet. I don't think it's as intense as my fetish for sneezing, but he loves to suck my toes. He doesn't need it every time we... you know... but he enjoys it when he does. I've often told him I would engage in just about anything he wanted me to, unless it involved pain or bleeding. So I would have to say that I am VERY VERY open and accommodating to his fetish.

Conversely, he knows I have a fetish and that it involves "sound", but I haven't yet divulged what it is. He doesn't press for details and it rarely comes up in conversation, but maybe after we're married it will become a more popular subject (translation: he may insist on knowing). I may or may not tell him eventually, but in the meantime, I'm more than happy to experiment with his fetish!

Take care all!

*goes back into lurkdome*

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Mr. Aku has a fetish. It's not odd and it works out VERY WELL for me, actually. I am happy to indulge him whenever he likes because he does it for me. We actually both share a secondary fetish, so that can be amusing as well! :angry:

~Aku

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