Don't other people know how to hold it in?

[shy_obsession]

Wow, I haven't started a topic in General Discussion in quite a while.

I was wondering about something today. It mostly has to do with those of us who don't sneeze in public, so the members who are okay with sneezing in front of people might be a little confused.

Today my sister decided to inform me that she sneezed like crazy at work today. First of all, ew. I don't need to hear about my sister's sneezing. She even did a little reenactment for me. She said she was trying to ring people up but kept having to turn away and let one out. Which got me to thinking...why is it that almost all non-fetishists are so against holding a sneeze in? When it is inappropriate or embarrassing to sneeze, why not just hold it in? It's not that hard-I have plenty of experience in that area!

Is it because of the notion that it's dangerous for you (which applies to all people, not just fetishists)? Is it because they don't care? Is it because they don't realize that they CAN just choose to hold it in? I mean, even if I didn't have this fetish and mental block, I still probably wouldn't want to sneeze all over my customers. It just baffles me.

What do you think? And do you have similar experiences to share?

[Geist]

Wow, I've noticed the opposite to be true! A lot of people I know always STIFLE it into something I can barely hear. Mind you, I LOVE stifled sneezes, so this doesn't bother me. However, down here, it's considered pretty rude to just openly sneeze in public without at least covering your mouth or dampening the sound somehow, I suppose.

I don't get it, but hey....I'm not complaining!

~Aku

[Guest Forsaken]

Im guesing they just dont think about it, i mean, most people would just accept it, sneeze and move on without casting a thought to the subject...

[shy_obsession]

Wow, I've noticed the opposite to be true! A lot of people I know always STIFLE it into something I can barely hear. Mind you, I LOVE stifled sneezes, so this doesn't bother me. However, down here, it's considered pretty rude to just openly sneeze in public without at least covering your mouth or dampening the sound somehow, I suppose.

I don't get it, but hey....I'm not complaining!

~Aku

Huh. Well then maybe it has something to do with culture.

[Sapphire]

My theory is that people are, of course, not born knowing how to exercise any control over bodily functions. I mean, this comparison may be gross, but children have to be potty trained and learn to exercise control over bowel and bladder function. If we are taught by family, friends, society, that a bodily function is publicly unacceptable and only privately dealt with, then we learn to exercise the amount of control that we as human beings are capable of exercising over these functions. Many of these are considered involuntary, but let's face it, we DO have some measure of control unless we are terribly ill or impaired in some way. Isn't that why we don't encounter way more public burping and farting? A lot of people try to suppress these or be as discreet as possible in public. I do understand that the measure of control can vary from person to person. Person A may find it easy not to burp; person B may find it more difficult and have to settle for a quieter sound rather than no sound or whatever. I think that society's and parent's labeling of the bodily function as publicly acceptable combines with the individual's own personality to determine whether the bodily function is largely suppressed or not around other people.

So back to sneezing: right, you thought that I'd never get there. So sneezing, as we all know and love, is acceptable in public. So I believe that most people whose family and personalities upheld that it was acceptable would mostly not ever consider the need to hold it back. Therefore, they never bother to exercise the ability to control sneezes to some degree, which I think everyone does possess, but as with most things, it's probably easiest to work on developing it when you are younger. So to most people sneezing remains in the realm of "that which cannot be controlled or stopped" because they've never really thought to try to do it, and now it's too late to learn.

I think that certain people who don't have the fetish must have reserved personalities surrounding bodily functions in general, so the method of control they do use is the stifle. For example, I saw the completely silent stifle again yesterday. That is their form of control that they've developed because they must not want to make a loud noise but don't mind bodily convulsions

But my theory stems from how I can remember being around age 4 and just not knowing how to stop myself from sneezing, even though I would panic when I knew I was going to sneeze. It was only when I started trying very hard over the following years that I became great at sneeze control, but I had a lot invested in the controlling, and without that motivation, why would most people bother? The feeling that it's not acceptable to sneeze has to precede the desire to learn to control it, and most people are not going to receive the message that it's not acceptable. Consequently, for me, although I'm reserved about all bodily functions, I find it much more difficult to control coughing than sneezing, but why? I just haven't practiced enough I think because I wasn't as uptight about it as sneezing (no fetish). Now don't get me wrong, I have a cough stopping technique that works well, but if I have a cold and get that tickle in my throat that precedes a coughing fit, then I really don't know how to control that and just have to leave the room or whatever.

Now, about the whole, "it's harmful to hold in a sneeze," I bet you're correct that that idea plays into people not holding back their sneezes. Back when I was in my twenties, I was hanging out with friends, and one of the guys said, "I'm really weird. I can control my sneezes. Most people can't. I just rub my eyes a little, and then I won't sneeze. My eyes will just water." Then, my other male friend said, "Yeah, but that's really bad for you to hold back your sneezes. You shouldn't do that" .... Paranoia

Edit: Yeah, I screwed up.

[Feta Sneeze]

Wow Sapphire, I completely agree with you.

A few years ago when I was working at Subway (crap of a job btw) I came across a LOT of families, especially those with small children.

One of said families had a small boy maybe age...six? He sneezed and stiffled it and his mom said to him "Oh that is so good! Look Anne (to the lady next to her), he stiffled it! Good job!"

I was thinking "hmmm...culture?"

Then another time I was just out walking around and this lady and her teenage son (my age at the time) tried to stiffle a sneeze but his mom turned to him (quite angrily) and scolded him. "What have I told you about that? Do you want to break a blood vessel in your brain and have to go to the hospital?!"

So, yes I also believe that how you are raised depends on whether you stiffle in public or just let it out.

[Sneesee]

I agree with everyone that has said it's a peronal and cultural phenomenom. I think it starts when we are young. Some people's personalities just don't allow for them to lose control in public. And for some people, like someone else mentioned, sneezing seems to be acceptable public behavior.

For me, it was always about the fetish, and my family's reaction any time I sneezed, that I got so good at holding them back. Now, I know a lot of people who say they can't hold their sneezes back. I also know a few people that stifle. And I have heard non-fetishists warn people who stifle about the health risks.

I guess it depends on the geographical area, and the family background, and also a bit on personality. So there are quite a few variables.

I also know that in school, they are teaching kids the "elbow method" of sneezing. And honestly, I've noticed several of the guys who are in their late teens or early twenties who use this method. Has anyone else seen this? So, they still openly sneeze, but cover it completely with their elbow. I'm not complaining, because I love that, but it is something I see more and more of lately.

[Sapphire]

I think that the elbow method makes 100 times more sense than our current hand covering in terms of disease control, but I have often imagined what it will be like when no kids are taught the hand covering method. Hand covering may become obsolete in a few more generations, and if it were to happen in my lifetime, I would be so nostalgic for the days when people covered with their hands.

[liricospinto]

The elbow method is far, far cleaner and more hygienic; it's what they teach in food service, etc. for covering sneezes and coughs. I see it all the time where I live, and from a germ-avoidance stance, I'd love to see it become prevalent.

Regarding stifling: I don't understand why everyone isn't taught to do it, so that they can avoid making a loud noise in circumstances such as in church, or at movies/classical music concerts, etc.

[count tiszula]

Fascinating. But yes, shy, I am a bit confused. Do you mean by "just holding it in " stifling a bit, or stifling silently with or without manual assistance, or just by an effort of will or something deciding, despite having a really sneezy tickle, that you are not going to sneeze.

Because the short answer is no; many people, probably most people , can't just hold it in.

I can't, and I can't reliably stifle in a way that is not likely to be just as loud or worse than the actual sneeze. I have just had an amusing inducing session to experiment with this, and while I can sometimes stifle enough to reduce the noise, I never know quite how big a sneeze is going to be, and so some of them get away, or are loud anyway, or very messy. Regarding the fetish, I have a partial mental block about sneezing in public, so that usually when I get a tickle it never turns into a sneezy tickle and then goes away; but if it does become a proper sneezy tickle it is inevitable and thre's nothing I can do about it. Of course I would prefer to sneeze more and not have the mental block, but I can't do anything about that either.

Like Tenshi I'm often surprised at the extent to which some peolpe cn stifle, but I also wonder, like you, why people who are obviously embarrassed by sneezing or just don't like it don't somehow prevent it. I conclude that they simply cannot. [i also note that such people are also quite likely nevrer to carry a hankie; I wonder if there is somehow a type of very out of control personality; peole who laugh uncontrollbaly, sneeze ditto, etc, and are just generaally disorganised]

A very sneezy friend of mine once told me a long story about how she had been out with a bloke she wanted to impress and felt a sneezy tickle which she knew would mean an enormous fit; she tried everything; nose-blowing, nose-rubbing, controlled breathing, exercise of will, but the tickle just got bigger and bigger. This lasted for about an hour. Eventually she knew she had reached inevitability, so she just had to announce to him that she was teribly sorry but she was going to have a sneezing fit. After a suitable period of five minutes of buildup, she sneeezed loudly about twenty times .

And then there is the whole question of frightening the sneeze away; but that's really another topic, and anyway even that doesn't work with some people, or more than once, or if the sneeziness is really enormous.

Several people here have said that if they do stifle, they just go on sneezing until they are able, or have, to allow themselves to sneeze properly.

[shy_obsession]

Wow, very fascinating responses! I'm sure the answer, if there is one, is a combination of all of these theories.

Do you mean by "just holding it in " stifling a bit, or stifling silently with or without manual assistance, or just by an effort of will or something deciding, despite having a really sneezy tickle, that you are not going to sneeze.

I mean completely holding it back-not even stifling it. Not letting it build up so much that it has to come out.

[Guest nosey]

Quick answer, since I don't have much time, but all I have to do is grit my teeth and I can keep myself from sneezing, even in the most dire of circumstances. So yeah, I spend a lot of time wondering why most people don't try harder not to sneeze.

[Hellsingfan]

I don't like to sneeze in public..because...well, I just get embarrassed

I don't stifle my sneeze because it hurts when I do it.

what I do is get my index finger and press hard right under my nose (on my 2 front teeth)

and my sneeze goes away ^^;;;

[Bondi]

I don't hold my sneezes in. I don't stifle. If I'm around people, the sneeze just doesn't come out. Sometimes if I rub the bridge of my nose it might alleviate the tickle though.

[stevie_sloth]

This has puzzled me also. Some people sneeze SO loudly and then look all embarrassed or complain about sneezing, and I'm like, Why not just NOT sneeze!? Or sneeze quietly or stifle? It confuses me.

Even more so, my partner will sometimes sneeze out loud (which I absolutely LOVE *drool* heheh), but other times she'll stifle. She's never totally silent (or very rarely anyway), but lets out more of a little nasal snort sound (quite cute)...but it puzzles me when she is out in public and DOESN'T do this. I know her, and she's kind of shy, so when we're just around the house she'll usually sneeze out loud, but out in public she'll usually stifle, but so yeah, sometimes she doesn't...and I wonder why this is. I want to ask, but obviously I'm not going to! *embarrassed now* LOL.

[count tiszula]

Wow, very fascinating responses! I'm sure the answer, if there is one, is a combination of all of these theories.

Do you mean by "just holding it in " stifling a bit, or stifling silently with or without manual assistance, or just by an effort of will or something deciding, despite having a really sneezy tickle, that you are not going to sneeze.

I mean completely holding it back-not even stifling it. Not letting it build up so much that it has to come out.

Hmm. I'm still a bit confused. But HOW do you not let it build up? Sheer willpower, or some physical action like holding or altering your breath. In fact, if you decided to change your mind and let it come, could you do that? And how, apart from by not doing whatever you were doing before?

Meanwhile, as to really big sneezers who sometimes stifle completely and sometimes don't, it seems that, apart from a sneeze being so enormous that it just gets away or bursts out, I believe that some people have to have a bit of warning and enough time to prepare for the difficult task of stifling; if they don't have enough warning , they can't stifle at all. People have said to me; "I didn't have time..."

[snuffles]

I don't know. I don't have allergies and I'm generally not a sneezer. There are a few times that I've been able to hold off an on-coming sneeze, but overall once I am aware that it is coming it is already too late for me. Once it has passed that point, there is no stopping it. I've tried stiffling, pinching my nose shut, burying my face in a pillow, holding my breath, holding a finger under my nose, and everything else I could think of. But no matter what I do, I cannot silence or stop my sneeze.

Therefore I don't even bother. I just let it come

[shy_obsession]

Wow, very fascinating responses! I'm sure the answer, if there is one, is a combination of all of these theories.

Do you mean by "just holding it in " stifling a bit, or stifling silently with or without manual assistance, or just by an effort of will or something deciding, despite having a really sneezy tickle, that you are not going to sneeze.

I mean completely holding it back-not even stifling it. Not letting it build up so much that it has to come out.

Hmm. I'm still a bit confused. But HOW do you not let it build up? Sheer willpower, or some physical action like holding or altering your breath. In fact, if you decided to change your mind and let it come, could you do that? And how, apart from by not doing whatever you were doing before?

Meanwhile, as to really big sneezers who sometimes stifle completely and sometimes don't, it seems that, apart from a sneeze being so enormous that it just gets away or bursts out, I believe that some people have to have a bit of warning and enough time to prepare for the difficult task of stifling; if they don't have enough warning , they can't stifle at all. People have said to me; "I didn't have time..."

Ah ha. See, this is exactly what I mean. It appears that some people truly don't know HOW to hold a sneeze in. You've just proven that. I don't know exactly what I do-someone mentioned gritting your teeth and I'm pretty sure that works. Other times I think I push my tongue up against the roof of my mouth and that also helps the tickle go away. It's possible, I know that. But maybe for others the sneeze it just too strong and has to come out.

[resolution]

I think that the elbow method makes 100 times more sense than our current hand covering in terms of disease control, but I have often imagined what it will be like when no kids are taught the hand covering method. Hand covering may become obsolete in a few more generations, and if it were to happen in my lifetime, I would be so nostalgic for the days when people covered with their hands.

Yes it really will be tragic if it ever happens. Elbow sneezes are so terribly unattractive to me

...and the hands have such wonderful acoustics

[resolution]

Wow, very fascinating responses! I'm sure the answer, if there is one, is a combination of all of these theories.

Do you mean by "just holding it in " stifling a bit, or stifling silently with or without manual assistance, or just by an effort of will or something deciding, despite having a really sneezy tickle, that you are not going to sneeze.

I mean completely holding it back-not even stifling it. Not letting it build up so much that it has to come out.

Hmm. I'm still a bit confused. But HOW do you not let it build up? Sheer willpower, or some physical action like holding or altering your breath. In fact, if you decided to change your mind and let it come, could you do that? And how, apart from by not doing whatever you were doing before?

Meanwhile, as to really big sneezers who sometimes stifle completely and sometimes don't, it seems that, apart from a sneeze being so enormous that it just gets away or bursts out, I believe that some people have to have a bit of warning and enough time to prepare for the difficult task of stifling; if they don't have enough warning , they can't stifle at all. People have said to me; "I didn't have time..."

Ah ha. See, this is exactly what I mean. It appears that some people truly don't know HOW to hold a sneeze in. You've just proven that. I don't know exactly what I do-someone mentioned gritting your teeth and I'm pretty sure that works. Other times I think I push my tongue up against the roof of my mouth and that also helps the tickle go away. It's possible, I know that. But maybe for others the sneeze it just too strong and has to come out.

Yes, I would say that many to most people cannot hold it in at one time or another.

I can always do so simply by willing it.

Yet as Sapphire interestingly observed, I have probably evolved the ability because I had a reason to .The same probably applies to certain other kinds of non-fetishists as well. For most people however the action is probably, as medical dictionaries put it, an involuntary spasm of the lungs.

[Bondi]

Well, a lot of people probably don't care enough to bother with it and probably don't see any need or reason to do so, so they probably don't see any point in even trying or even thinking about holding back the sneeze.

[shy_obsession]

You know, I guess it's just so hard for me to see sneezing as something that's NOT horribly embarrassing. I simply can't wrap my head around sneezing being just...normal like a sniff or a cough (hell, I even get embarrassed about doing those!).

[Bondi]

Yeah, but you have a sneeze fetish and are self-conscious about it. I'm kind of the same way in not wanting to sneeze in public either. But someone who doesn't have a sneeze fetish and wasn't brought up wiht the idea that sneezing in public is rude, offensive, taboo, or disgusting wouldn't even think to have a problem with sneezing in public if they have to sneeze. From their perspective it's just not a big deal.

[Guest pookie77]

Going back to the original topic, I have to agree that people should control their sneezes in public.

I am not saying people shouldn't be able to sneeze ~ that is just fine, but I work in a retail environment, and have noticed a lot of sneezing lately, and I have to say, I am not even enjoying it. It is loud, disruptive, and embarrassing when you are standing there talking to a customer and both of you are trying to NOT acknowledge the explosive sneeze that just erupted from the woman down the aisle.

I can definitely hold back a sneeze ~ learned that a long time ago ~ I can also stifle. But, I let them out when I am alone in my home because then I am not disturbing anyone. I believe if people can hold back burps and passing gas, we can all manage to figure out how to not pull focus by sneezing. It's just another bodily function.

[a_nonny_mouse]

I think for some people it's not possible. I'm guessing it has something to do with the size of naso-pharyngeal passages and the amount of air force that can go through them, but I don't know.