Mom found out! >___<

[TeaParty]

Well, to make a long story short:

I was writing a message to VoOs, and had other tags open. It was pictures from CuteOverload that I was showing her. The title of the SFF tag was "welcome to your messenger" instead of "sneeze fetish forum", so I didn't bother closing it.

Then mom totally fell in love with one of them and wanted to send them to someone else. So she saved the URL, and closed the tag next to the SF tag! And as I had clicked on "preview message", it was scrolled far up where the logo is shown. It took me senough time, to hurry and minimize the window, for her to obviously read the whole title. She pretended not to notice (she just looked at the screen like she was looking at anything), but she looked kinda embarrassed.

I want to explain and tell her about this fetish, so that she doesn't get any wrong ideas about me (like I'd get turned on by her sneezing or something), but I just don't dare to!

What am I gonna do??

[Blah!?]

You could probably get away with hoping she doesn't bring it up. If she didn't make a big deal out of it then, she'll probably forget it soon, just lay low for a while.

If she does bring it up, just be honest and explain it. That's what I did and it worked fine.

[Vetinari]

I can imagine this would be really embarrassing and speaking as a daughter I know I'd be quite embarrassed if it happened to me. However I have just been thinking about it from the opposite point of view and as a mother, if I saw something like that I probably would be worried more than anything else that my daughter might be getting herself into something that was unsafe. I certainly wouldn't be concerned that my children might become sexually attracted to me. Think about whether you could ever imagine being attracted to your mother and remember that she has been through being a daughter herself.

With regards to whether you should talk about it I'd say it depends what you would feel more comfortable with. If you do talk it might get it all out of the way faster and you can stop worrying. If you get on well with her and normally tell her lots of things it might be best to do that. If you feel it would be way too embarrassing and you'd rather just wait it out then do so. The memory and the awful feelings will fade with time.

If your mother is computer literate she might come and check out the site. All in all it seems fairly safe and friendly to me and she would probably be reassured more than anything else.

[VoOs]

Oh sweetie, I really feel for you!

I agree with Blah though - if she doesn't bring it up, just lay low and she'll probably forget about it.

[Guest AlkaZene]

something like this happened to me once, long ago, when i was too naive to cover it up. an ex found out, and was quite mean to me about it. I just laughed incredulously and was like "dont be stupid"

Then she started doing it, to tease me, and sometimes even when we were intimate.. I pretended to dislike it intensely, it was the only way i could cover up that it was the best thing she could have done.. 6 months of bliss then i got tired of her.. lol

dunno what i'd do if my folks found out though.. thats why i keep everything WELL hidden, even on my own pc. As others have said, just keep quiet about it and she'll prob just assume it was a phase.

[JellyBelly]

Lucky your Mum hasn't said anything. Maybe she's embarassed too?

Blah makes all the good points so I don't have much to add.

[Teh Ninjin]

It may just be my opinion, but even if your crushed with mortifacation, I'm sure there's a small part of you that feels good about kinda loosening the burden of not keeping it a secret, right?

I mean, one of my friends found out, and my girlfriend did too, and I tell other friends. but. they don't have a problem about it. I know, its really hard. Especially at first, I feel so bad, but it like a bandage. Rip it off, it hurts at first, tremendously, but it probably will get better.

But I feel better when I tell my friends. May not've told my parents, but I have a feeling, since my mom has seen it too, and just walked off like that. They know. But personally, and y'all may disagree.

but. I think. Its kinda good to get it off your chest. If the skeleton is out of the closet, you won't die. A little humiliating at first, but I assure you, the awkwardness will subside. <3

Just. try to avoid conversations though about things relating to sneezing n_n;;;

Sorry to hear about it though, hon.

- Baniira.

[Niceguy]

Wow. I can't imagine how much that sux. (Well, I can imagine - my mother? *shudder*) But I think most of the advice above is good.

Lay it low for now. Be honest if it comes up. And only let the conversation go where you're comfortable taking it. (And don't be afraid to take a step back if you feel yourself getting defensive. Try to give your Mom at least as much understanding as you want her to give you, if it doies come up, I'm sure she won't be completely comfortable discussing it either. If you tread lightly, she's more likely to do the same.)

Good luck.

Hang in there!

[Blah!?]

Yeah, Niceguy's got it there. For example, when I told my parents, I didn't explain the whole sneezefic/story thing simply because it was out of my comfort zone. I just thought it would be too weird to explain. If there's something that you really feel extra nervous about that isn't essential to the whole thing, you don't need to talk about it. If you want, you can keep it extremely basic and not even go into your personal involvement in the whole thing. (However I did make it perfectly clear to them that I was very weirded out whenever they did it around me...)

*Gheee!* Jeez, I can't even type the word sneeze when I'm talking about my parents...

[shy_obsession]

Oh God. It is so frighteningly easy for people to stumble upon it. One wrong move, one slip-up, and it's out. I think it's a good sign that she didn't say anything because if she was extremely freaked out or angry or something, she would have said so. I think she's taking it okay, so I wouldn't worry too much. Think of it this way: you know longer have to hide that from her. But it is a tough situation and I'm sorry that happened.

[Teh Ninjin]

Uh. Hey. Again. I post.

But I'll mention, you might not want to listen to me <-- coming from someone who's done craploads of idiotic things naad skated on thin ice.

listen to these guys <3

they all have quite the...melting pot of ideas <3

but they all make sense. <3

[bob12]

OMG the same thing basically happened to me, where my mum kinda saw the sneze page. But i think she pretended not to notice aswell so im just acting like nothing happened and i think its all cool

[Feta Sneeze]

Something similar happened to me. I was on the site one night (about hmmm I don't know how long ago but I was still living with my parents), and I thought I had logged out and exited the site. So I wake up the next morning and I'm watching TV and my dad comes in. He sits down next to me all serious and such, and I'm wondering what's wrong. He looks at me and says "Listen, you don't need to leave your forums up on the computer for everyone to see. Ok?"

He looked a bit upset.

I think I may have stuttered an "okay" or two but I was in shock. Then he left and I just sat there, scared of what he thought of me, and still thinks of me.

I hate that he knows. But, it's something I have to deal with, and he hasn't brought it up in...maybe...2-3 years?? yeah that sounds about right.

So, I wouldn't worry about it. Parents who find out stuff like this don't really want to know the details (usually). And if I'm wrong, my apologies.

[TeaParty]

Thanks a lot, people! I'm so glad that so many people have engaged in my problem, and tried to console me! ^__________________________________________________________________^

[a_nonny_mouse]

Do you know the saying "It's scareder of you than you are of it"?

Well, family members -- especially parents -- are generally more embarrassed by remembering you have a sexuality than you are by them discovering it.

If you found your parents, or your children, looking at, say, pictures of men in women's panties... or women popping balloons... or feet... or any number of the other strange things people fixate on... Heck, even normal porn! What would you do?

I don't know anyone who'd be eager to have that conversation. Most of the people, especially most of the parents I know, would want to just totally ignore the topic.

Excepting fundamentalists and people with a moral ax to grind.

[ID2006]

The same thing happened to me, and my mom pretended not to notice. She has never brought it up and I'm betting she's forgot about it by now. I think she was wondering if i had just stumbled on the site looking for something else or if I was part of it and thought it better to not ask. I hope everything works out for you as well as it has for me.

[Gallatea]

Well, last year, I had to tell my mom about my fetish. My dad was being anal about 'checking my computer' and stuff. I, of course, freaked out because the SFF page was up. So I convinced him to have mom check my computer instead--definitely less invasive and embarrassing.

I told her and she was cool with it. A little weirded out, sure, but I asked her to keep it between us and she has (as far as I know).

I think the whole conversation was probably the most embarrassing part. Except there was that time a few months ago that she started fake sneezing in the car just to tease me. I swear, my face looked like a neon sign!

[Niceguy]

Well, last year, I had to tell my mom about my fetish. My dad was being anal about 'checking my computer' and stuff. I, of course, freaked out because the SFF page was up. So I convinced him to have mom check my computer instead--definitely less invasive and embarrassing.

I told her and she was cool with it. A little weirded out, sure, but I asked her to keep it between us and she has (as far as I know).

I think the whole conversation was probably the most embarrassing part. Except there was that time a few months ago that she started fake sneezing in the car just to tease me. I swear, my face looked like a neon sign!

I'm sorry to say this, but I find almost everything in this post very disturbing. (Except for the parts about you telling her and her keeping it to herself.) If you're really 18, I don't see why your Dad would have any reason to "check your computer" (especially to be anal about it) and your Mom... I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she just doesn't get it but that's what I would call wildly innapproprite teasing. (I can assure neither of my parents ever teased my in a way related to sexuality.) Both things - waaay not cool.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but... I don't know. Or am I just being too reactionary? Anyone else with me on this?

[Gallatea]

I'm sorry to say this, but I find almost everything in this post very disturbing. (Except for the parts about you telling her and her keeping it to herself.) If you're really 18, I don't see why your Dad would have any reason to "check your computer" (especially to be anal about it) and your Mom... I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she just doesn't get it but that's what I would call wildly innapproprite teasing. (I can assure neither of my parents ever teased my in a way related to sexuality.) Both things - waaay not cool.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but... I don't know. Or am I just being too reactionary? Anyone else with me on this?

Well, I was about 16/17 when this happened ... so I think my dad would have a legal reason to do that. And no, my mom didn't understand anything about the fetish.

Anything else is your personal opinion. *shrugs* I really don't care.

[Lady Tori]

This is kind of what happened to me when my sister found out. I pretended that it was a joke site that someone sent me, but I felt horrible about that (I was a mod and the forum was a huge part of my life at the time, much like now). I ended up telling her. Since then I know she's forgotten, because I've brought it up (in euphemism) a couple of times only to have to remind her about it. I guess a sibling finding out such a thing about your sexuality wouldn't be so as a parent but a few years ago I thought it would have gone a lot worse than it did.

However, I do still have nightmares about my parents and friends finding out...

[Guest nickidude]

Damn doode I would be very freaked if this happend to me.. ha sometimes makes me laugh tho, ma mom always hears my vibrator lol if only she knew what i was spanking my monkey too!!! haha any ways im sure it will pass man, she will probly just fink it was a pop up.

xnickix

[Mistress Quickly]

Thing is, my mum and I are really close and have always had a good relationship when it comes to sexuality; it's just never been an issue or an embarrassment, we've always been able to talk openly about sex and we even go to Anne Summers together (I know, I know). But if she found out about the fetish, I would just die, I honestly don't know if I would ever be able to look her in the eye again. My insides shrivel up at the thought of it. I thought my dad had found out a couple of years back when I didn't have my own laptop (which would be at least a million times worse, because he makes a big deal out of the tiniest deviation from the norm at the best of times); we had a virus on the computer and he was messing around with the firewall and going through the internet history (!!!), and he started saying 'What's all this? What's all this?' I'm assuming he was either talking about something else or didn't understand what it was, because he never brought it up. And believe me, I would know about it if he really had a clue what it was. I honestly don't know how people ever manage to tell their folks about it; you are all far braver than I, that's for sure

[spin721]

Same thing here, I always keep my computer locked up with passwords and everything....paranoid as well.

If I got busted, well, nothing I could do about it. No one really has the authority to judge me anyway...sometimes, for me, I think being secretive about the fetish makes it that much more exciting.

That's my take.