Sniffle, Sneeze, Blow!

[Niceguy]

Sniffle, Sneeze, Blow!

Author: Niceguy

An Azumanga Daioh Fanfic

Setting and all non-original characters are property of Kiyohiko Azuma

SAKAKI'S NIGHTMARE

It was a warm Sunday evening, and Sakaki decided to go for a walk. Before she even stepped out of the door, there was no doubt where she was going. She quickly crossed the six blocks separating her parent's house from Chiyo Mihama's. She knew that Chiyo-chan would be walking her dog, Mr. Tadakichi, right about this time and, as she loved animals, she really enjoyed walking with them. Sakaki was 16 years old, elegantly attractive and quite tall. She was, however, rather shy and people took her quiet demeanor for being cool or aloof. This perception, along with her shyness, masked her true self – someone who was hopeless attracted to tiny, cute little things like kittens and puppies and the like, and wanted nothing more than to surround herself with these things, cuddling and snuggling to her heart's content. But due to the image that unconsciously projected, she found it hard to be honest about these feelings; hard to reconcile the difference between her external appearance and her internal obsession. As such, she always felt as though she had to make an excuse, or pretend to just be "passing by" when Chiyo-chan came out with Mr. Tadakichi, as she somehow couldn't find it in her to say that she just enjoyed Chiyo's company and really liked Mr. Tadakichi. Of course, it was five nights in a row now and Chiyo, the 11 year old child prodigy in Sakaki's class, was no dummy, and had probably figured it out by now. Sakaki still felt awkward admitting it.

Chiyo left her house at half past seven to walk Mr. Tadakichi. She was surprised once again to bump into her friend Sakaki from school again. She thought they'd been bumping into each other a lot lately, especially when she was walking her dog, and thought it was an amazing coincidence. (While Chiyo-chan was a prodigy when it came to school books, she still didn't really understand the 16 year old girls she went to school with.)

"Hello Miss Sakaki!" Chiyo greeted her friend cheerfully. "Do you want to walk with us again?" She seemed really excited. Sakaki was everything Chiyo wanted to be: Tall, mature, cool, good at sports…

"Uh… Sure. Why not?" Sakaki couldn't help but sound like she was playing it cool, she really didn't know how to be any other way. She so adored Chiyo, and desperately whished that she was also small and cute, like her diminutive friend. She bent over to nuzzle Mr. Tadakichi.

"Who's a good doggy?" She asked him in a surprisingly lovey-dovey voice. "Who's a… good… d-d-dog… Ah…HaAH-CHOO!" Sakaki's sneeze was loud and deep. She found it almost embarrassing how loud it was, in contrast to her usually quiet way.

"Bless you Miss Sa…"

"HAAAAAH-CHOOO! Huh… HAAAAH-CHOOOO!" She sneezed twice more.

"Wow! Are you coming down with something?

"Uh… No… I don't think so." Aside from her tickly nose, she didn't feel sick.

"I wonder if you're allergic to Mr. Tadakichi." Chiyo meant it jokingly, but Sakaki suddenly went as white as if she'd seen a Ghost. Chiyo suddenly remembered the first day she met Miss Sakaki, collecting the career questionnaires from the class. Sakaki's first choice had been "Veterinarian."

"OH! UH! I DIDN'T MEAN! I'M SURE THAT'S NOT IT! … Miss Sakaki…?" Chiyo was waving her arms and jumping up and down hysterically trying to quickly cheer up her friend.

But Sakaki looked traumatized. "no… no… no…" She repeated to herself quietly. She looked up and was surprised to see a familiar grey cat coming towards them – the same one she saw almost every day on her way to school - the same one that BIT her every time she saw it. Even so, she still could never resist trying to pet it…

"GO FOR IT MISS SAKAKI! EVEN IF YOU CAN'T BE A DOG VET, MAYBE YOU CAN BE A CAT DOCTOR!" Chiyo was frantically trying to be as cheerful and supportive of her friend as she could…

*CHOMP*

As usual the cat bit down on Sakaki's outstretched hand. She had come to expect that. What was new was the tickle creeping up her nose.

"Ah…HaAH-CHOO! HAAAAAH-CHOOO! Huh… HAAAAH-CHOOOO!" Three more sneezes, without even a chance to take a breath in between. The cat released her hand and took off. Sakaki stayed as she was, crouched on the ground, hand still outstretched. "no… no… no…"

"Miss Sakaki?" Chiyo asked tentatively. "Have you been around cats and dogs a lot?"

"No. Both of my parents have terrible allergies and…" She turned nearly white again, remembering that allergies often ran in families.

"MISS SAKAKI! IT'S OK MISS SAKAKI!" Chiyo was again anxiously trying to cheer up her friend. "Even if you can't be a vet, what about your second choice?"

"Huh?" Sakaki looked up. She had no idea what Chiyo was talking about having long ago forgotten about the career questionnaire from freshman year.

"Flower Shop Owner!" Chiyo chimed brightly.

"Oh. Oh yeah!" Sakaki seemed happier with this thought. After walking a little more, and trying to stay a little farther away from Mr. Tadakichi, they came to a Gardenia bush. Sakaki leaned over to smell the beautiful blooms.

"OH! AH!" The tickle returned to her nose. "HAAAAAH-CHOOO! HAAAAAH-CHOOO!" She slumped over, depressed again.

"MISS SAKAKI! IT'S OK MISS SAKAKI! There's still your third choice!"

"Huh?" She had no idea how Chiyo could remember these things.

"STUFFED ANIMAL BOUTIQUE OWNER!" Chiyo beamed brightly.

"Hmmmm…" Sakaki started to feel a little better again, thinking about that.

"Here! I have a Totoro doll in my backpack, hang on… Here it is!" She held up the Totoro and Sakaki took step closer.

"HAAAAAH-CHOOO!" Sakaki walked home, slouched over and dragging her feet. She had never felt so depressed in her life. Completely out of ideas, Chiyo just watched her friend go.

The next morning Chiyo woke up feeling awful. She sat up in bed, feeling a chill and aching all over. Her eyes closed up, and she took in a sharp sudden breath.

"-choo-" Chiyo's sneeze was tiny, high pitched and cute. "Uuuuuhhhgh... I think Miss Sakaki gabe be her code!"

TOMO'S REVENGE

"Hey everybody!" Osaka said in a slow, spacey sounding Kansai [southern] drawl. As usual, was the last to join her friends for lunch.

"Hello!" Her three friends answered unison. Waiting at the table was the studious Yomi, the athletic Kagura and the obnoxious Tomo.

"Hey Osaka! What's with the tissue box?" Tomo asked.

"I have al… al… al… uh… aah… AAAHHH… … … … eshu. Allergies today." All three of her friends started laughing hysterically. They had heard it before, but the still could not get over Osaka's quiet, half-hearted, almost non-committal sneeze. It almost sounded like an afterthought.

"What's so funny? I don't see what's so funny? You guys are me… me… me… uh… aah… AAAHHH… … … … eshu. Mean!" Tomo and Kagura were still laughing while Yomi explained.

"You just have a funny sneeze that's all!" Yomi, normally the most calm and collected of the group, could still barely contain her laughter. "I've never heard anybody sneeze like that!"

"Well haw do ya… ya… uh… aah… AAAHHH… … … … eshu. Y'all do it?"

Yomi thought for a minute. "Well… I don't really sneeze a lot, so I guess I've never really thought about it. What about you Kagura?"

"I really let 'em rip… they're really loud! Not like Osaka's at all! I'd show you, but only the pool water ever makes me sneeze… and even that's pretty rare." Kagura was a member of their school's swim team.

Tomo jumped in. "Oh MAN! I wanna hear it!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Yeah, well… we're not at the pool…" Yomi pointed out, in the halfway annoyed tone she usually used whenever Tomo started to get irritating.

"Hey! I know!" Tomo started.

'No good idea ever follows those words,' Yomi thought to herself.

In a flash, Tomo removed the top from the pepper shaker, shook about a teaspoon's worth into her hand and threw it right in Kagura's face.

"AAAH! HEY!" Kagura yelled, but almost immediately felt her breath start to hitch. "Huh… Ah… Aaahh… Haaaaatchoo… Haaatchoo…. Haatchoo… HAAAAAHHHHtchoo! Oh man! That really worked!" Surprisingly, Kagura didn't seem that angry anymore.

"Oh that was nothing!" Tomo opined, sounding disappointed at Kagura's display.

"NOTHING?!" Yomi was furious with her idiotic friend "Do you realize what you could have done?! You could have gotten that in her eyes! You could have…"

"So what?" Tomo interrupted, completely oblivious to the possibility that she had done anything wrong. Yomi was appalled at how self centered Tomo could be at times.

"SO WHAT?! YOU IDIOT! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IF SOMEONE…" at that very moment, Yomi snapped. To teach her reckless friend a lesson (and being upset beyond the point of listening to her better judgment) she took the pepper shaker and threw the entire contents into Tomo's face. "WELL?! HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!"

"Ah… Ah… AAAAH… HAAAAAAAH…. Ah, AH, AAAH… AAAAAAHHH- PLTCHEEEEWWW!!!" The spray from Tomo's absurdly loud and ridiculously wet sneeze, which sounded almost like someone blowing a raspberry, caught Yomi full in the face. Her glasses were now covered and dripped with Tomo's snot. Every inch of her face felt drenched by the viscous fluid.

"Not bad!" Tomo answered.

SICK DAY

Minamo Kurosawa woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. It her fellow high school teacher Yukari Tanazaki. She sounded terrible.

"Hey Nyamo." Yukari's voice was very stuffy sounding.

"I won't be cubbing to work today, so I need you to do me a favor."

"Why should this day be any different?" Minamo asked rhetorically.

"Hang on… Heh… Heeeeetcho!" Yukari sneezed into the phone. "I left a paper bag on by desk. It's really impordant."

"Ok.. I'll bring it by on my home from…"

"No… *sniff* I need it sooner. Cub by on your lunch hour."

"What? But you live thirty minutes from school!"

"Oh cub on Nyamo. It's no big deal, just come by and drob off da bag."

Sure, Minamo thought to herself, it was no big to her! She wasn't the one who would be missing lunch! Of course, as usual she was a total pushover for a friend in need.

"O-K. OK. I'll bring the bag by, on my lunch break."

"Dat's great Nyamo!" Yukari hung up without even saying 'Thank You.'

At 12:00 Minamo hurried to the office she shared with Yukari. She grabbed the unmarked paper bag off of Yukari's desk. It felt really light, but she was in such a hurry that it didn't even occur to her to look into it. At this rate, she would be lucky if she made it back to school in time for class. Eating anything was out of the question. She arrived at her friend's apartment at 12:35 and knocked on the door.

After what seemed like five more minutes, the door opened. Yukari looked a wreck as Minamo handed her the bag.

"Danks Nyamo." She said, not very enthusiastically. (It was something anyway, Minamo thought to herself.)

"So what's so important? What's in this anyway?" In her hurry, she still hadn't opened that bag.

Yukari pulled an object out of the bag…

"FINAL FANATSY XXXV?" Nyamo was furious. "YOU MADE ME COME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE ON MY LUNCH BREAK TO BRING YOU A STUPID VIDEO GAME?!"

"Hey… This isn't a… hang on… Heh… Heeeeetcho! This isn't just some stupid game! This is… Heh… HEEEEET-TCHOO! This is necessary surbibal gear for any sick day! It's practically required."

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Yukari screamed and was ready to throttle her friend when she caught the time: 12:45! "Now I'm late!" She sprinted back the street, and headed back to school.

The next morning Minamo woke up to a sneeze. "HEEAAAT… choo! Oh man! I feel awful! I bet Yukari gabe me her c… c… keeeAAAAHHHT… choo! code!" She dialed her friend to see if she would being her some cold medicine. At least she only planned to have her bring it by after work.

"Hello! This is Tanazaki!" She sounded cheerful, Yukari thought.

"Yukari… I'm sick… I'm not cubbing in today!"

"Wow you sound terrible! You should take better care…"

"YOU GABE BE DIS CODE! Wait… hee… hee… HEEEAAAAT… choo!"

"Well, if it's the same thing I had, you'll feel better in a few days. Mine ruined my whole weekend, but thank god I had a new game to play yesterday, I feel 110% today!" Yukari's enthusiasm was a bit grating.

"Yeah, yeah. Listen… Could you stop by da pharbacy and pick me up sub coed medicine? You know… daytime and nighttime stuff? I'b fresh out."

"What? Oh no, no, no, no, nooooooo! I've already missed work this week, and I just got over this! I can't afford to get sick again! Bye!" Yukari hung up.

"Huh? Wait… Yukari?!" Minamo wondered why she even bothered.

___________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this fanfic, click the link below for more...

http://www.sneezefetishforum.org/forums/in...;showentry=4581

[Guest Microfine19]

That was great! Each story was so funny, and really in character! I LOVE osaka's sneezes, they're hilarious. Yomi's sneeze is pretty funny, too. Thanks for the great stories!

[Niceguy]

That was great! Each story was so funny, and really in character! I LOVE osaka's sneezes, they're hilarious. Yomi's sneeze is pretty funny, too. Thanks for the great stories!

Thanks for the comments! Glad you like them!

One thing - Did you say Yomi? Cause she's the only one in the whole story that doesn't sneeze! Do you mean Yukari?

(wait a sec... or do you mean in the Anime? That's right - both her and Osaka sneezed in the anime at some point.)

Never mind... brain feeling soft...

[Blah!?]

"DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DIIIING!!!!!"

- No other response is possible at this time due to an awesomeness overload.

[Niceguy]

"DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DIIIING!!!!!"

- No other response is possible at this time due to an awesomeness overload.

Thanks! I thought you'd like that. (Inside note - Blah Blah ILS is the guy who got me into Azumanga Daioh in the first place!)

(Oh yeah... and for those not familiar with the fandom, check out his [rockin'] sig line. From left to right that's Osaka, Kagura and Tomo from the second story.) (For Yomi, check out my profile pic... bottom row 2nd from the left.)

[count tiszula]

Very lovely stories; funny, lots of different types of sneeze , at least one nice and messy.

I admit that I don't know the fandom and can't really distinguish the characters, except by their sneezes; but that's the best way to do it, isn't it.

[Animeeze]

good story and an enjoyable read. i\'m not really familiar with the series, but i liked the different sneezes. good job!

[_Thread]

Ok, this is really the first story (or set of them ) that I've read from this forum ( )

I must say, I can SEE Sakaki's disappointment in the first one! That "Uwaaaagh...." look, too

And again, I can imagine what would come next in the Tomo one. The (in)famous Mizuhara Uppercut! (Just made that name up ) Of course, the "Baka Yarou" would naturally be there, too

Aww, Nyamo! Haha! And of course, Yukari is always the one to do something that burdens Miss Kurosawa!

Loved reading these - they were funny!!

[Niceguy]

Thanks guys! I'm so happy you guys like them!

You have all been so encoraging.

I definitely plan on doing more!

[sneezinglover]

So great! Thanks! I LOVE this show

[Pilgrim]

Teh awesomes! I've never seen this show, but this fic rules!

[Guest Microfine19]

Yeah, sorry, I should have been more clear in my last post. I meant Yomi's sneezes, but in the anime. The second time that you hear her sneeze, it's like, "Yisk." That's a weird sneeze... And then Osaka walks down the procession at their graduation holding a tissue box for her allergies. She's so weird!

[Blah!?]

Yeah, sorry, I should have been more clear in my last post. I meant Yomi's sneezes, but in the anime. The second time that you hear her sneeze, it's like, "Yisk." That's a weird sneeze... And then Osaka walks down the procession at their graduation holding a tissue box for her allergies. She's so weird!

I've found that a lot of sneezes in animes sound a lot like that. However, Yomi's last sneeze was weird by any standards unless the first sneeze you ever heard was one of Osaka's...

[Niceguy]

NOTHING beats Osaka's sneeze!

(Hey Blah... Do think I managed to spell it right in my fic?)

[Blah!?]

NOTHING beats Osaka's sneeze!

(Hey Blah... Do think I managed to spell it right in my fic?)

Technically, the translation of the Manga spells it "A-Choi." But for how it sounds, you spelled it fine,

[army-girl]

NOTHING beats Osaka's sneeze!

(Hey Blah... Do think I managed to spell it right in my fic?)

Technically, the translation of the Manga spells it "A-Choi." But for how it sounds, you spelled it fine,

I was thinking that exact same thing! "... but wait, in the manga it's spelled A-choi ". Anyway other than that great stuff ^.^= Man... Sasaki... poor poor Sasaki... I so totally love her *grin* I am down with the sneeze you described for her, loud works well Tomo is obnoxious totally works too tihihihi ... and I never get tired of how selfish Yukari is - thumbs up it was all very Azumanga style

(oh and I too love the way Yomi sneezes in the anime )

Edited to add:

No idea who the guy is or if this has been linked to ever before but more Azumanga Daiho very short sneezy fanfics:

http://community.livejournal.com/anime100/74769.html

http://community.livejournal.com/fanfic100/3333507.html

[Niceguy]

No idea who the guy is or if this has been linked to ever before but more Azumanga Daiho very short sneezy fanfics:

http://community.livejournal.com/anime100/74769.html

http://community.livejournal.com/fanfic100/3333507.html

OMG! That's such a perfect Chiyo-chan line at the end the second one!

[SneezeLike]

Enjoyable.

I have been an anime fan for many years (I started back when you could only get bad VHS copies from someone who knew someone who once met a guy in japan who mailed him a tape...then we had to FTP around (this was before the WWW people!) for fan translated scripts, print them out..on that green/white lined paper, and then read from it as we watched the anime) and somewhat recently, I was told by another big aniem fan that everyone HAD to liek one 'cute' anime. Hers was chobits. I picked Azumanag Daio, and I was happy to say that it was even too cute for her

Thank you for reading my late night ramble!

[KawaiiKitty]

Ohh, oops! I read this when it was first posted, loved the hell out of it and then forgot to leave a comment, didn't I? BAD KawaiiKitty! I need to get my head screwed on better.

Okay, since I know this anime I can look at it from that point of view...and I absolutely LOVE how you've done it in that same style, short stories tied together by a theme. And the characterisation is brilliant. I like how you thought out different sneeze spellings to fit the different characters personalities.

My favourite bit was the last bit, a close second being the one with Sakaki, for selfish reasons-those are my favourite characters...but the last story just totally seemed like something that COULD HAVE happened!

[Daphine]

That was so much fun to read , really it just made my day if not my whole month

Thanks for posting it