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"That's a beautiful cold you've got yourself"


The Sneezster

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Here's how it started. I work nights, and Monday morning after work was my kind of weather -- warm, gray and rainy. I'd brought along an umbrella in case it was seriously pouring, but when I got outside, the deluge had let up to a light rain. I love to take a walk in a warm rain, so I spent about 15 or 20 minutes enjoying it.

I regretted this on my hour-long commute home, because I really wasn't able to dry off at all, and I just started feeling chilly and soggy. However, I strongly believe that you catch colds from exposure to viruses, not exposure to water, so I wasn't really concerned about my health.

Finally got home, changed and went to bed.

But Tuesday night, at work, I started getting a scratchy, tickly sore throat. "I can't believe I'm catching a cold from being out in the rain!" By Wednesday morning, the feeling of an impending cold was unmistakable. My throat was increasingly sore, and the tickly feeling was spreading from my throat to my nose, ears, sinuses, all through the inside of my head. But there was no rest for me. I had shopping and errands to do, had to take my kid to a dentist appointment, to get new shoes, and new shirts. Then, as we were expecting guests, I had to go home and clean, cook, and make ready.

By Wednesday afternoon, I was exhausted, and noticeably ill. I'd started sneezing, much more strongly than my usual sneezes. My typical sneeze is light and feminine, and followed by a kind of airy nose-blow. But Wednesday afternoon, I was sneezing loud, powerful "HYEAH-CHOO's!" that hurt my throat and head and ears. And when I blew my nose, it wasn't light and airy, it was loud and snotty. By night time, I'd soaked through two regular sized handkerchiefs, and was working on a third.

I was off from work Wednesday night, and put myself to bed, increasingly congested, clutching my handkerchief to my nose.

Thursday morning, I woke up with a killer headache, a very congested head, a raspy voice and chills. As soon as I sat up in bed, I had a whole sneezing fit -- eleven hard, loud, wet sneezes, that tore at my sore throat and stabbed me in the worst part of the headache. I blew and blew my nose to try to clear it, but it stayed blocked up. I retired the handkerchief that I had clutched all night, and took out an extra large one, red with white polka dots, and got up to get myself some tea and Tylenol. My husband told called our guests and told them that they wouldn't be able to come, since I'd caught a bad cold and he wouldn't want their kids to catch it. He took my son out, and I spent the day in bed, miserable.

Friday was more of the same, heavy sneezing in fits, congested, achy, chilled and exhausted. A friend of my husband's came by in the afternoon, and I pretty much steered clear of everyone, not wanting to share my cold, which was contemplating making a run for my chest. After yet another huge fit of big powerful sneezes, each one pitching me forward, my husband's friend poked his head in, "That's a beautiful cold you've got yourself!" Since I had segued from sneezing to a bout of coughing, all I could manage was to nod in agreement, and he left me alone.

I'd done all that cooking in preparation for our guests, so I didn't need to cook any food for family meals, but I did get up and defrost a chicken and made myself a big pot of chicken soup. I ate little besides tea and Tylenol, and collapsed back into bed, exhausted, after any little exertion. Including my vigorous sneezing and coughing.

On Saturday, still awfully congested, achy and miserable, I ate five bowls of chicken soup. My family stayed at home, but pretty much kept out of my way. I found some decongestant and took that, and got some relief from my blocked head and miserable headache. By now, my ears were hurting, my voice was gone, and my sinuses were ready to burst from pressure and my chest was sore. I counted the pile of handkerchiefs I'd soaked through, and found that I'd gone through 18 of them and only had two (regular sized) ones left. I ran a wash, but didn't bother ironing all my hankies. I just folded them and stacked them in my bedside table.

Saturday, I was still sneezing, but the fits had lessened in frequency, and were now mostly powerful doubles and triples. My cough was getting phlegmy, and I got some tissues to spit the phlegm into. I wouldn't want to spit that gunk into my hankie.

That brings me to today. Still sick, still sneezy, coughing, and headachy.

A beautiful cold! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm starting to get sick of it, myelf.

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That sounds incredibly miserable. I hope you feel better soon. And I kind of hope your husband gets it from you, and that you come back to tell us about it. :-)

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That brings me to today. Still sick, still sneezy, coughing, and headachy.

A beautiful cold! I hope you enjoyed it. I'm starting to get sick of it, myelf.

Wow. I would imagine you must be. Sending many "bless you's" your way darling. Hope you're feeling better today.

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Oh poor you. A beautiful description though. I hope you were well looked after!

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Already did!

But then, despite every precaution, my husband caught it. Honestly, believe me, I didn't want to get him sick.

But one quick (and dopey) obs from the guy.

"Honey, I've got this nasal discharge, and it's all thick and colored greenish-yellow. What does that mean?"

"That's snot, sweetheart."

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