Sneeze fetish in lecture at KINK show Museum of Sex

[Guest KatharineGates]

Hello all:

I am not a sneeze fetishist. I am a Kink-friendly researcher and "erotic philosopher" seeking feedback and comments from all of you for an upcoming lecture at my KINK show at The Museum of Sex as well as for a book I am working on that hopes to go into more detail on the subject of sneeze fetishism.

My name is Katharine Gates and I am the author of "Deviant Desires" a book and (not-much-updated) website deviantdesires.com. I recently curated an exhibition at The Museum of Sex in New York entitled KINK which was an attempt to create a framework for discussing all forms of erotic fantasy. It was based on my Erotic Roadmap: http://deviantdesires.com/map/mappics/map06sm.jpg

As you will see on the map, I have created an area for Sneeze fetish within the theme area "Orgasmic Explosions" and touching on the area I call "Dirty/Clean." In an even more recent version of the map I have designated much of the area surrounding this as the theme called "Metaphors of Arousal and Orgasm". I see the sneeze as being an expression of buildup of tension and explosive release that mimics sexual arousal and orgasm. Part of the appeal it seems to me comes from not only the tension and release element (common to almost every eroticism on the planet) but also the notion of helplessness/powerlessness in the face of bodily functions. One must abandon control for one moment -- it's a kind of liberation. In a way the sneeze fetish also relates to the idea of embarrassment for some fans.

If there were a "core fetish object/substance" for any sneeze fetishists I am guessing it might be the nose, but not for all sneeze fans, am I right?

I am open to comments. Do you think I "get it"?

I am looking for video material to incorporate into the lecture. Perhaps a short clip showing a sneeze that seems to be very popular among you and/or one that shows the buildup release idea.

On a longer-term note, I would like to be contacted by anyone (especially all you female sneeze-fans out there) who might be interested in being interviewed for my upcoming book. I beielve it was Tarotgal whom I interviewed for my now-defunct radio show over six years ago.

Feel free to contact me directly as well at gates (at) gatesofheck.com.

-- Katharine Gates

[The Sneezster]

I read about your show in the New York Times recently, and was really interested. It does sound like you do, indeed, "get it".

[Natto]

I'm wondering when this exhibition is planned for, as I would certainly like to see it.

[Guest KatharineGates]

Hi and thanks already for your responses.

The KINK exhibit has been up since Feb 2007 and will remain up until Feb 2008.

Thank you for pointing out the "Hurt/Comfort" connection. This is definitely true for the (seemingly smaller) cough fetish crowd. It had not occurred to me really.

What about "Dirty/Clean"? Is this an appropriate connection? I noticed some of you like the idea of being sneezed ON. I imagine, however, that many are not interested in the snot at all.

BTW, have there been any polls in your group, as to the ratio of females to males, those who enjoy the act of sneezing themselves vs. those who prefer to see it in others, etc.? In my brief observations it seems there is an unusually high concentration of females in this crowd, am I right?

Thank you again. I will keep checking in periodically.

-- Katharine Gates

[donttakenostuff]

Hi and thanks already for your responses.

The KINK exhibit has been up since Feb 2007 and will remain up until Feb 2008.

Thank you for pointing out the "Hurt/Comfort" connection. This is definitely true for the (seemingly smaller) cough fetish crowd. It had not occurred to me really.

What about "Dirty/Clean"? Is this an appropriate connection? I noticed some of you like the idea of being sneezed ON. I imagine, however, that many are not interested in the snot at all.

BTW, have there been any polls in your group, as to the ratio of females to males, those who enjoy the act of sneezing themselves vs. those who prefer to see it in others, etc.? In my brief observations it seems there is an unusually high concentration of females in this crowd, am I right?

Thank you again. I will keep checking in periodically.

-- Katharine Gates

Congratulations on your research and upcoming exhibit. Yes, I believe that there is an appropriate connection between "Dirty/Clean." While some persons with the fetish may view being sneezed on as clean, others may view it as dirty and unnecessary to erotic arousal or pleasure. Perhaps there is also a correlation to the perception of other bodily fluids, too.

[Sternuto]

You seem to have a pretty good bead on it, but... different strokes for different folks. Even though, we are all here, indeed, sneeze fetishists... we all have different tastes on the thing. Nothing black and white here, my freind.

As for myself... I dont like the boogery, snotty sneezes... but I do love to be sneezed on, and splashed with... I dunno... sprinkles? Light spray? Mist?

Also... as for the 'substance' part of the fetish being the nose.... Im not really getting that either. Im a 'T and A' man, myself... and how the fetish exposes that aspect would be the 'heaving chest' in a prolonged build up, and a deep body bend on perhaps a real 'body bender' if it is indeed a powerful enough sneeze. A good sneeze will make the body jiggle and bounce and bend and move.... in all the right places.

This is indeed interesting. I was in NYC earlier in the year. I wish I had known about this exhibit!

[Sapphire]

There has been a thread on the forum where people posted pictures of their noses; however, for some reason, I have no idea what role noses play in this fetish in general. I assumed that the thread about noses was more of something people were doing for fun rather than a turn on per se.

For me personally, I have to side with Sternuto: the sneezing fetish does not correlate with any body part/object for me. I could not care less about noses. For me also, the sneezing is very much attached to the whole person. If I don't find the person attractive, then I don't get any pleasure from that person's sneeze. But many on here say that the it's about the sound of the sneeze and not about the person doing the sneezing.

So anyway, just corroborating what Sternuto said -- it's pretty tough to generalize about us, but at the same time, I do think that you've got some good categories going. I'll probably post some more after I've thought a bit.

edited to add: Yeah, after having read about "object fetishes," I've always considered that the sneezing fetish did not fit into that paradigm, i.e. that it has no object to which it attaches. Perhaps I am wrong. If anything, I think that the gender of the sneezer is what is most often discussed on this forum. Now nose blow fetishists on the other hand often have the object of tissues and handkerchiefs, but not so for sneeze fetishists, except perhaps for the minority who also have the nose blowing fetish.

[Daphine]

Hello all:

I am not a sneeze fetishist. I am a Kink-friendly researcher and "erotic philosopher" seeking feedback and comments from all of you for an upcoming lecture at my KINK show at The Museum of Sex as well as for a book I am working on that hopes to go into more detail on the subject of sneeze fetishism.

My name is Katharine Gates and I am the author of "Deviant Desires" a book and (not-much-updated) website deviantdesires.com. I recently curated an exhibition at The Museum of Sex in New York entitled KINK which was an attempt to create a framework for discussing all forms of erotic fantasy. It was based on my Erotic Roadmap: http://deviantdesires.com/map/mappics/map06sm.jpg

As you will see on the map, I have created an area for Sneeze fetish within the theme area "Orgasmic Explosions" and touching on the area I call "Dirty/Clean." In an even more recent version of the map I have designated much of the area surrounding this as the theme called "Metaphors of Arousal and Orgasm". I see the sneeze as being an expression of buildup of tension and explosive release that mimics sexual arousal and orgasm. Part of the appeal it seems to me comes from not only the tension and release element (common to almost every eroticism on the planet) but also the notion of helplessness/powerlessness in the face of bodily functions. One must abandon control for one moment -- it's a kind of liberation. In a way the sneeze fetish also relates to the idea of embarrassment for some fans.

If there were a "core fetish object/substance" for any sneeze fetishists I am guessing it might be the nose, but not for all sneeze fans, am I right?

I am open to comments. Do you think I "get it"?

I am looking for video material to incorporate into the lecture. Perhaps a short clip showing a sneeze that seems to be very popular among you and/or one that shows the buildup release idea.

On a longer-term note, I would like to be contacted by anyone (especially all you female sneeze-fans out there) who might be interested in being interviewed for my upcoming book. I beielve it was Tarotgal whom I interviewed for my now-defunct radio show over six years ago.

Feel free to contact me directly as well at gates (at) gatesofheck.com.

-- Katharine Gates

Dear Mrs. Gates,

I wish I lived closer to New York, I would love to see your exhibition and attend your lecture. To answer your question, yes I do really believe that you get it . If anything I think it's great to have a professional such as yourself giving your insite into our fetish.

I actually posted on your site a few years back I have always had questions regarding the origin of my fetish and what exactly it means to me and about me

Anyway, It's great to see you here in our community

[Sapphire]

Also, I'd say that just as many people can't stand snot and heavy spray as do, or that possibly, far more people do not find this aspect as an erotic one. (Please those who love this aspect, go ahead and prove me wrong here) So, in a way I would argue that classifying the sneezing fetish as an "expectoration fetish" is more of what an outsider - a person without the fetish - would call it because people without the fetish see sneezing as something that produces these bodily fluids. But I would be willing to bet that most of us who have the fetish are not usually thinking about the bodily fluids produced when we are getting turned on. We are on the other hand thinking about what you have said about tension, loss of control, orgasmic explosion, hurt and comfort, possible embarrassment.

I too am going to need for you to explain the "dirty/clean" aspect to me because I am tempted to say that this too is how an outsider would classify this fetish, but not a category that we as fetishists think about so much.

[shy_obsession]

I would say there should also be a clear connection to hurt comfort. Not true for all of us, I know, but a massive number of us have that as a very important aspect of the fetish. The idea of caring for someone suffering from a cold or allergies plays a big part in this fetish for a lot of people, myself included.

Yes, that is exactly what I would add to your description.

I do think you "get it." What you have sounds so accurate that I'm surprised you're not one of us!

[Secret98]

about the hurt/comfort thing, I don't get it For me the fetish is not about seeing someone hurt (or just suffering from sneezing) that would actually be a trun off for me if someone was suffering from sneezing to much, and about comfort, I never really wanted to comfort any sneezers as a child and have only recently wanted to comfort someone, my crush, but only my crush.

I get turned on the most from a guy I have feelings for sneezing, the more I love the person the more their sneezes do for me.

We all have different tastes in this community as far as how someone sneezes: for me I like loud, "HE-EH-HOO" sounding sneezes, that get the person doubled over, I like powerful sneezes but some people out there prefer quit sneezes, or stifled, I'm not a big fan of those. When it comes down to stifled it depends on the situation that stifle in, as to wether it will "get to me" or not.

And when it comes down to the nose thing you mentioned, I never had a big interest in noses, only sneezes, until I joined this forum, now I find myself paying attention to people's noses, but I never did before.

I think it all depends on how you were classically conditioned to have this fetish. I had mine since as far back as I can remember, 3 years old. I think my classical conditioning happened when I was a baby.

I'd pm you about some other more private things, but I can't, you don't have enough posts.

[Dusty15]

Your map is pretty amazing. I'd definitely add a link to the Hurt/Comfort section. I'm a sneeze AND cough fetishist. Hurt/comfort is one of my biggest turn-ons. The desire to cuddle and care for (and possibly become sexual with) a man with a horrible cold or allergies is a major turn-on for me.

[RB]

Good luck with your book. I'm not sure sneezing feishism will have such wide appeal, though. Fewer than 1000 people on the entire internet doesn't sound like something worthy of publishing, even if only as a chapter in a larger work, but then again, it's after 2am and I have to work tomorrow, so what do I know. If you haven't already been warned, if you choose to interview people from here, make sure you're not dealing with a minor. Too many lurk around here and many lie about their age even though we opened up a minor's section just so they wouldn't have to lie. While I think you "get" it, we're too small a group to get any generalizations from. Everyone seems to have a unique story over how they came to appreciate sneezing and no one has ever posited a decent explanation as how any of us got here, although I think for myself, your theory is probably close. I've been around this and earlier boards for 10 yrs now and the only thing I can say for certain about the people here is that there is no way to generalize virtually anything you see here. There are those who like watching, those who like doing, those who like both...those who are straight but only like their gender's sneeze, those who are straight and like both, those who are straight and only like the opposite sex's sneeze, those who are gay, etc., etc., there are more women who post frequently than men, but membership is probably skewed 60-40 male to female (the trend of more women posting than men is a recent phenomenon; early on virtually no women posted -- too many men in their early 20s who didn't know how to behave themselves. I don't know if you have a formal psych background, but what I remember of my undergrad psych classes is that you need large numbers to make statistically valid assessments of anything. You don't have that here. Anything you see here or hear about from members is purely anacdotal (including my own statements). I hope you present your findings as such. Again, good luck with your book. I hope you come back here after it is published to let everyone know about it.

[resolution]

The reson that there is an "unusually" high concentration of women is because of the highly social nature of the site. There are other sneeze sites that are more...."bottom line" and those seem to be frequented by mostly men. As you may have noticed the site is highly unusual for a fetish site. For example, what other fetish sites have you seen that have 18+ sections?

[Guest KatharineGates]

Hi all. Thanks again for all of your thoughts.

Here are some responses to your responses, in no particular order.

I am not a psychologist, I am more of an anthropologist. I am more interested in how people make meaning and communicate that meaning with others. I am not interested in why any individual might have turned out a certain way ( I have found that this is totally unique for everyone.) Also, I have found that when people ask "Why did they become sneeze fetishists?" for example they are really asking "What went wrong?" which I think is a totally misguided question. I am not interested in any sort of medical/illness notions about erotic non-conformity.

I would never attempt to make huge generalizations. Every kink I have ever come across has been very individualized in its details.

My book will be an examination of common themes to many kinks, an attempt to pull out some of the basic elements of all eroticisms, from vanilla to kinky. I will go into detail with certain kinks if they illuminate one concept and if I can find an individual within that kink who would be an intelligent, thoughtful and creative example -- clearly letting the reader know that this person is unique and not representative of all sneeze fans for example. The sneeze fetish is interesting because it seems like such a perfect example of symbolic orgasm. Besides, didn't Dr Ruth once call orgasm "just a little sneeze" or some such thing?

As far as trying to map sneeze feetishism in its relation to other kinks, what I'm getting here is: no nose connection with the sneeze crowd, though as an erotic "tribe" there seems to be a social connection with the handkerchief and tissue folk mainly because (for now) you share a message board. Once you reach a certain density, I'm sure there will be a schism as there always is.

Seems like placing it in "Metaphors of Arousal and Orgasm" was the right spot. There is a connection for Hurt/Comfort for some but not all.

Dirty/Clean would only be of interest to those FEW who want serious snot action. By Dirty/Clean I mean people who are interested in playing with messy stuff or feeling liberated by being touched by "Dirty" "Unclean" or simply "Messy" things (anything from food to mud to bodily fluids.) So no direct link here -- there can be a slender link to snot only.

By "expectoration" I was more talking about involuntary bodily explosions not necessarily the results. Like coughing and vomiting, the act itself not the output, so to speak. The fluids seem to be a slightly different crowd.

If anyone here thinks they might be a good candidtate for an interview for my book and/or an article (no names or identifying characteristics of course) please feel free to contact me directly. I would be particualrly interested in re-contacting TarotGirl. I get to interview so few females in my work...

-- Katharine Gates

deviantkg@yahoo.com