The fetish starting young

[Jorm]

[gottalovesneezing]

The early beginnings thread got me thinking. As a whole (with a few exceptions of course) we seem to have a fetish that takes hold very early in life. Most of us seem to be able to trace our attraction to sneezing as far back as we can remember into early childhood. Certainly I can't remember a time when wrongness didn't make me all FVDJVZLVNKFLBCKNK!!! in some form or another. Hell, I can remember getting rather distinctly 18+ reactions to wrongness long before I hit puberty.

At any rate, I just started wondering now, is that unusual as fetishes go? It always seems to be implied that people don't really have fetishistic reactions until closer to sexual maturity, but maybe that's just what close-minded anti-sex people want us to think. I've never really talked in depth about fetishes with anyone who didn't have THIS fetish. I'm also curious because I have a number of other fetishes as well as this one, though perhaps none that are quite so powerful in their affect, but my fetishistic reaction to all of them didn't start until much later than my reaction to this fetish. Most of them started to manifest somewhere around ten or eleven, but a few of them not until my mid teens.

Is it unique of this fetish to start so early? Do fetishists have a strong fetishistic reaction to feet when their five? I just find the whole thing intruiging.

looking back on the whole "sneeze fetish" I would have to say my fetish started way back in my early teens, with fascination in the way people sneezed and or blew their nose as well as the way I sneezed and or blew my nose so I would say the fetish does start young for some of us, even if we didnt know what it was at such an early age

[Icarus Rex]

I've been wondering about this, too. I've definitely felt some form of "attachment" to sneezing for as long as I can remember (and the whole "revulsion when it comes to relatives doing it" thing started back then, too). In early childhood, it obviously wasn't sexual or anything, since that's not all that biologically possible, but there was SOMETHING there.

I also remember having "18+ reactions" to sneezing before I was sexually aware in any other way. I have another minor fetish, which I was aware of in the same way when I was young, but it didn't really... er... manifest itself sexually until I was older.

Does anybody around here have another fetish that started early, like this one? (I think I basically just parrotted your original question, Fifi. But I'm curious, too...)

Hmm.

[doggo]

You know, i've been thinking about the same thing, Fifi. Not only the fascination with sneezing, but also the guilt/embarrasment of that fascination, dislike towards family members sneezing and being really embarassed of own sneezing... I can easily date that back to the age of 5 at least. And the ridiculously early 18+ reactions... yup.

I'm not an expert... in anything but while pondering your post an idea came to my mind. Ok, just for sake of playing, I don't claim to know anything about psychology or alike. But could it be possible that... if some kind of pre-sexual interest wakes up before actual sexual maturity, it would attach itself to something else.... as there would be no procreation-related things for it to attach itself to... so, to, for example sneezing.

Gah I can't explain this At least not in english, but if you Fifi take that "Might sneezing fetish wake earlier than others sexual fetishes" and turn the causal relations around... like "Is a fetish (or just some kind of sexual(-relatd) interest) that manifests on very early age likely to be/develop into a sneezing fetish"... well that was a bit of what crossed my mind

Sorry I'll shut up.

[donttakenostuff]

I'm not a psychologist, nor do I profess to be an expert at anything. But, I think that it is generally accepted that babies are sexual beings. Now, I think that fetishes are developed in Western culture in particular as a result of restraints or taboos within the culture around sexuality. I do not promulgate that we all act like the Marquis de Sade, but clearly in Western culture, there are far too many sexual taboos; and I relate these taboos to the development of fetishes. In other cultures, for instance some Western African cultures before European colonization, fetishes of all kind (sexual and nonsexual) were inherent parts of the cultures and recognized as such without taboos. Just some food for thought.

[Sapphire]

I agree with professor, though not a psychologist myself either, that babies and children are considered to be sexual beings as well as adults. I'm quite sure that any turn on, whether fetish or mainstream, has precursors in childhood and starts to develop then.

[Niceguy]

Not sure about babies or psychologists myself, but I can definitely say that from the earliest age I can remember (4?) sneezing was definitely sexual, WAAAY before I knew what that meant.

[UnexploredFetish]

I'm with NiceGuy 100% here.

It's awkward, but I do remember being just like that. Blah. It's kind of weird to think that way.

[Anonymouse]

I can actually remember all the way back to pre-school. I must have been three or four, but I can still remember an actual dream I had (and enjoyed) about my teacher having a sneezing fit. A dream like that at age three or four. That's crazy stuff.

I plan on becoming a psychologist but like almost everyone here, I'm not actually there. I am exploring the classical conditioning theory though, which I think someone mentioned without knowing what it was called.

[resolution]

I'm not a psychologist, nor do I profess to be an expert at anything. But, I think that it is generally accepted that babies are sexual beings. Now, I think that fetishes are developed in Western culture in particular as a result of restraints or taboos within the culture around sexuality. I do not promulgate that we all act like the Marquis de Sade, but clearly in Western culture, there are far too many sexual taboos; and I relate these taboos to the development of fetishes. In other cultures, for instance some Western African cultures before European colonization, fetishes of all kind (sexual and nonsexual) were inherent parts of the cultures and recognized as such without taboos. Just some food for thought.

Thing is, these kinds of ideas usually establish this fact by extending the idea of sexuality into realms that enable it to suit babies. If this is done it seems that we have no "non-sexuality" relative to which we can even make sense of the term sexuality. In any event, I think that FiFi's point about the uniquely prepubescent appearence of this particular fetish is an interesting one.

[KawaiiKitty]

Since the question was posed does anyone else have a fetish that started early:

Um, yes.

Now I can't trace my other fetish's origins as exactly as I can the sneezing fetish because it's slightly less strong I know it was definitely present around the age of 6 or so...and like someone said, with both fetishes I had 18+ reactions before I even knew what that MEANT. Just that I had to hide because it seemed to freak out my parents so very much...

[Guest member052]

The sneeze fetish is based off of brain connections forged early on in a person's formative years. Some people don't experience the kind of environment that leads to these connections being forged. But what is a sneeze fetish? A lot of people ask this.

Speaking from my experience with psychology, a sneeze fetish is a way to take the process of sneezing and convert that action into social information that everyone else normally uses to process a sexual advance.

Take for example the human body. When I think about it, it is weird to get turned on by a body part. The body is a functional thing that developed over millions of years. Where does sexualizing it come in?

Animals just get into heat and go after each other for a short time, then fight each other off for the rest of the year. Even social animals like bees or wolves or dolphins aren't horny all the time. But humans don't have "heat." We are sexualizing everything all the time. Why?

What is the sexualization process? Is it linked to the lack of a "heat" in humans?

Personally, I think that the human animal is so advanced in terms of social development, that sex has moved into the social sphere itself, becoming a socialization process, like with the bonobo monkeys. And just as it is a socialization process, different actions have different social meanings... like standing over someone to show aggression, or cowering to show submission.

So what is a sneeze? It's when anyone has to give in--submit--to their own bodies. Socially speaking, that's sexy... because the sexualization process is an act of dominance and submission. And we can use that. I'm not talking dominance leather bondage stuff either. Just on the most simple level: one person is on the top or in front, and another is on the bottom or behind or facing. The human brain is a really, really powerful tool for processing all this information without you needing to think too hard about it.

Okay, so, sneezing is this secret, quick dominance submission thing... What is it like for people who don't have a sneeze fetish? For those people who never made that social connection? I think they make other connections, also early on in life. Other fetishes that we don't know about. The foot fetish? I don't know anything about it or how it works socially. But that connection is there for a foot fetishist. Just ask yourself this: "could I learn a fetish?" I think the answer is "sort of..." Because while it is possible to understand how a different fetish works, and to even try to use it, it isn't possible to go back in time and *get* that fetish, where it is then connected, and for it to become the most powerful.

So in short, I think this fetish and other fetishes start young, and become more and more entrenched as we get older and stop thinking about them, even though they are always there, working for us in the background, ready to take that external stimulus and process it into an exhibition of eroticism. Because that's what sex is for everyone, even for people who don't have fetishes.

Although I do think those people who don't have fetishes become more frustrated trying to please themselves in the style of the mainstream media... Nobody cares about sneezing, so it's easy for us to take advantage of that. Just take a look at all the sneezing videos on youtube. That's easy porn!

[Rhomberg Rabbit]

Not sure about babies or psychologists myself, but I can definitely say that from the earliest age I can remember (4?) sneezing was definitely sexual, WAAAY before I knew what that meant.

All of the above

[Jemmabean]

Yep. I discovered sexual arousal (via sneezing and sneeze-related media) at the age of perhaps four or five, masturbation to orgasm (albeit without ejaculation until around age 13 or 14, if I remember rightly) shortly thereafter, and it wasn't until I was at least twelve, I believe, that I learned to relate those strange, tickly, tingly feelings I got from some things to sex and attractive members of the opposite sex.

Like a, "Oh... THAT'S what it means to be HORNY?" *holy fuck, am I completely fucked up then, or what?? heh /sweatdrop*

Very strange fetish we have indeed...

[Lady Tori]

This question comes up quite frequently in these parts and it's always interesting to see what folks have to say.

I cannot recall a time when I wasn't turned on by and able to experience sexual pleasure as a result of the fetish. So, like Sapphire and others, I completely agree that children are sexual beings, and an acceptance of that is necessary to exploration of how fetishes like ours being and manifest themselves in childhood.

member052, that is a very interesting post. I always find myself inclined to agree with such straightforward analyses of where our fetish came from, but the women and gender studies side of my brain always stops me and makes me think it's more complicated than that. For example, I don't think everyone has a fetish, at least not one that could be called a fetish by the same definition that would link most of us here - I don't think that most men appreciating the sight of an attractive woman's body parts (I'm keeping in mind this is NOT an 18+ thread ) could be considered a fetish, because sneezing is NOT something that is considered sexual by the majority population.

To illustrate this example from my own life, I can say that since knowing about my fetish, D sometimes starts "putting the moves on" me when he sneezes. This is not because he is aroused by the sneeze, but because he knows what it may be doing to me. I don't consider this to be a case of him developing or adopting the fetish (though I don't deny that can happen) because I have it or because now he has "heard of" it. While we may be able to condition ourselves to associate something with a sexual situation (e.g. sneezing, fuzzy handcuffs, sneezing), I don't believe that at this point in life we can develop fetishistic feelings in the same way that most of us here have for sneezing. The fact that we have had this since childhood is significant, but what is significant about it is something that no one has been able to determine yet.

It's always interesting to hear everyones' stories/views on this topic, so keep them coming! We may solve the mystery yet

[Morningsmith]

This is a very interesting discussion, the topic of acclimatization to the fetish especially; like others, I've always, always felt "different" or "funny" about sneezing and sneeze-related things. I have distinct memories of this from he age of 2 onwards. Obviously it wasn't always sexual arrousal; in my pre-teen years I found noseblowing just bizarrely disgusting. But then, isn't that more or less the way children feel about sex itself?

I don't want to argue against the possibility of "acquiring" the fetish. I certainly see no reason to argue that my own case is genetic or anything of the kind. I think it's certainly very deep-seated for me, however. If it did come from an experience or a set of experiences, I have no idea what these would have been. I'd be very interested in hearing stories of how people did consciously "acquire" it. Was it voluntary?

[Sapphire]

Someone can sweep in and prove me wrong, but I'm going to say that you will find no one on this forum who will have a story of how he/she consciously acquired the fetish voluntarily. "Conscious" and "voluntary" imply too much choice and acts of will. I can't imagine that anybody believes that we chose this turn on of our own volition.

I'd be very interested in hearing stories of how people did consciously "acquire" it. Was it voluntary?

[army-girl]

allow me to meddle completely uninvited: *points at Chui* the words "caught the fetish" come to mind, so that might be your one good lead

I actually believe you can choose a fetish should you want to, 'cept that this is a rather unique/unlikely choice in our case that it comes as no surprise we can barely find an example. I believe that if tomorrow morning you & I or anyone else decide they want to get-off on *looks around the room looking for a random example* errr cellphones? (lame example I know, especially since I once had a mad crush for a certain Nokia model) or shellfish (haha! found one!) then it'll be entirely possible to achieve, in other words acquire or develop a fetish without any specific roots in childhood or any roots at all. That's one of the more amazing things about the human mind, it's flexibility. It's clearly not the case of the majority, but I wouldn't entirely rule it it we consciously and subconsciously adapt new views and even opposite views over time, same goes for our taste in many things, I can't think of a reason why this type of processing wouldn't apply here.

[Sapphire]

I actually thought about chui as I was posting my absolute statement about "no one" claiming that they chose the fetish. I also realized that absolute statements are a danger because exceptions can usually be found. I really have not heard all of the details about how her fetish came about and whether she feels she voluntarily chose it, so I really can't speak to what she experienced, which is why I didn't bring her up originally. I still think that choice for the acquiring of a fetish is a strong term that is unlikely to apply to many people.

Now, I'm not making any arguments about whether a fetish must have roots in childhood. To me, that is an entirely different argument, and I don't necessarily believe that a fetish or a sexual turn on of some sort cannot develop or begin in adulthood. I'm talking solely about choice/choosing. The word "choice" implies complete use of the conscious mind, and I simply do not believe that that is the way that a fetish normally comes about.

In the case of your example with a cellphone fetish, if I decided that it was important to have one, what steps would I follow then to begin to be turned on by cellphones? Do you see what I'm saying? You would have to follow quite a regimen to get yourself to have a cell phone fetish if for some reason that was what you wanted. Sure you could do it with enough association, but I think it's highly unlikely.

[army-girl]

In the case of your example with a cellphone fetish, if I decided that it was important to have one, what steps would I follow then to begin to be turned on by cellphones? Do you see what I'm saying? You would have to follow quite a regimen to get yourself to have a cell phone fetish if for some reason that was what you wanted. Sure you could do it with enough association, but I think it's highly unlikely.

I tend to disagree, and it's not that I'm a big supporter of behavioristic theories, but it takes so very few and little conditioning experiences for us to learn something that getting results would be easy, unethical if this is gonna be your M.A. research proposal, but easy. This isn't gonna be a how-to-develop-a-cellphone-fetish-101 guide by any means, but the first thing you'd have to do is make up your mind, decide for yourself, that yes, you are going to be turned on by cellphones now! it's not so much a "where there's a will there's a way situation" as much as it is "and now associate cellphones with sexy things, stare at their features up close, and perhaps practice some conditioning" ... EVERYTHING in this world can be linked to sex, even something that is on some levels the exact opposite of it, like death. We are symbolic creatures, and it's one of the main reasons for which this should be a goal easily obtained, which is why I'll continue to claim that it's [a] doable (artificially and by conscious choice), not necessarily a huge effort.

[Sapphire]

I think that sexual fetishes are similar to sexual orientation, i.e. gay or straight, when it comes to choice. I don't think that you choose sexual orientation. I don't think that a gay person can choose to be straight and then condition him/herself into it. I've read a lot of anthropological books about the struggles of people who try to do this through religious groups and are highly unsuccessful. I believe that those gays who marry one another in these movements are probably having to repress their sexual desires for the same sex and probably feel little desire for the opposite sex spouse. I compare sexual fetishes to sexual orientation when it comes to conscious choice. I don't think that conscious choice is the paramount factor that decides either one.

Now, I can agree in part with you that one could choose to have a cell phone fetish and then spend time creating sexual arousal in relationship to the cell phone. So I agree that it's doable. However, I'm going to have to disagree that it would be fairly easy and would take little time at all. I'm going to say that it would be difficult and would take a lot of time, and then, the person trying to create such a fetish would have to reinforce the sexual connection over and over throughout time in order for it not to fade. It wouldn't be exactly like learning to play the violin, which still would need a lot of time at any age. To learn to connect sex consciously in adulthood to an object that is not at all sexual for you in my opinion would take a long time.

When you talk about the connection between sex and death, well, that's understandable because death is a universal experience for humans and all other living beings. Cell phones are not , so I'm not really persuaded that the analogy holds. Even so, sneezing is quite universal, but I still don't think that it would be simple to create a sneezing fetish. I guess that I just don't think that acquiring a sexual fetish is similar to acquiring a skill like playing the violin or learning calculus. I think that it is more complex and less easily manipulated than that, while acknowledging that learning new skills takes a lot out of adult as it is, let alone redirecting one's sexual desire.

[army-girl]

I'm having a bit of a problem with comparing a fetish to general sexual orientation, since I view this fetish as a thing of leisure, where as a sexual orientation is imminent. Allow me to clarify, it's not that a fetish can't be MORE and LOTS MORE than "leisure" and not to say that it can't arouse the same type of conflicts that accompany the struggle with one's sexual identity at times, but the feeling of urgency is one that accompanies any struggle with a part of one's personality, where it be a sexual conflict or not. It's the coming to terms with [insert origin of conflict here] that makes it an issue to the person, not the object of conflict itself.

I'm choosing to skip the rest of the gay lifestyle example proposed mostly because it's a product of so many things - nature and nurture combined - and it takes different meanings culturally.

I'm amused with the violin playing example, but I don't think acquiring a fetish is the same as acquiring a new skill. I'll just generally suggest that having certain talents will help be a better violinist and successfully master playing, when I'm not exactly sure what the equivalent will be with a fetish ... let alone you probably won't need hours and hours of practice as for the universal factor of sneezing, now that's an interesting thing to ponder about. Women's high heel shoes are also not universal, and they are an extremely common fetish, I think it's once again a question of culture, especially the object of admiring. I think finding a women's shoes fetish somewhere in some little tribe in Africa is impossible simply because the object is inaccessible. But would we find a sneezing fetish there? sneezing is definitely available, but we can probably speculate for hours about it's cultural significance, whose to say that it's not Western obsession with blessing and germs that's a catalyst for this fetish? a fetish is a fetish because of the meaning a person gives the object of the fetish. And I for one believe we can choose what meaning to give things, even though at large we tend to let our surrounding do that for us and then hold on to those convictions without questioning them or challenging them.

My main claim is that our brain can create paths between different unrelated things all the time, these links generated can expand or disappear, we do it every single day on a small scale consciously and unconsciously, and while I'll agree that the schema of self and sexual identity is probably an elaborate and complicated one, it's not written in stone and I think the fair thing to assume that acquiring a fetish will be easy for some and yes also harder for others depending on a variety of nature-nurture and cultural tendencies.

(one final playing note: cellphones have a vibrate option, I'm sure that could make things easier )

[shy_obsession]

Well, let's see. I have one other fetish and I know it started when I was very young. However, I think there was only a fascination there. Of course I didn't know what "fetish" or "sexual" meant and I didn't...um...how do I put this...react sexually to either fetish until I was older. So what I'm thinking is that I had an interest in the other fetish but it didn't become a fetish until I matured. Meaning, from my own experience, this isn't the only one that started early.

[Guest sweetpea]

I definitely agree. I think I noticed the attraction around 5, then started being aroused without knowing what it really meant around 8 or 9. When I finally realized what was happening, I felt like I must be really sick or something, and tried to make myself not do it any more. But obviously that didn't work out ...

[YiffySneeze]

I definitely have had the fetish since I was at least five. Even then, I'd get a certain "turn on" from watching people sneeze. I don't remember my early years too well, however, so I may have had the fetish even earlier. It definitely did not start in my teens. I've always loved sneezes, for about as long as I can remember.

Although you bring up a good point about the fetish possibly starting earlier for those into sneezes. I wonder why. Right now, though, I'm far too sleep deprived to speculate on that.

-Yiffy