Ever feel like it's just dying?

[UnexploredFetish]

I don't know about you guys, but it's gotten to the point where this whole fetish is going in and out with me. It seems that one person saying something that doesn't even remotely intrigue me, even if it does have to do with sneezing just turns me off to the whole idea. I'm not saying it's their fault, because it might mean that there's something out there but when I get to the point where I feel as if though no one else sees this "fetish" the same way I do, I just... I dunno.

Has anyone ever felt like this? Like you've just had enough and the spark there you once had is gone because other people just take it too far? They ask questions that make you feel like some kind of freak (and I've never told anyone outside of this forum, btw) and just makes you lose hope? I mean, yes, found the forum - bunch of people like me, and I love that, but now I'm trying to narrow it down to those who feel like I do about it, and it's just not working.

I never really saw it as dirty before, but now I'm scarred.

I know that the fetish will never leave, but... I dunno. It just sucks that it has to go into some kind of lull because of insensitive comments and my [i guess] my major sensitivity.

[Lynne]

YES.... oh my god yes.... I just.... wow.... YES..... I don't think I can say anything more coherent than that. Your post just felt like a flash of light into the darker corners of this whole issue for me. So often, I'll look at comments or posts and go "what the HELL...." and not be able to understand from that person's point of view at all and feel like an absolute freak because I'm not as "into" it as they are, or as dedicated to all things sneezing or as obsessive or .... I don't know... Sometimes I feel like I'm the only odd one out because I get turned off by a lot of the stuff that gets discussed here (and no offense to anyone on this particular sub-forum, but I'm often nauseated entirely reading the posts on the Related Fetish board, but I have to read them anyway, because it's part of my job as a moderator) and I feel weird and uncool because I don't really like anime or cartoons or any of the stuff the more popular people like.

I also felt so isolated when I first came to the forum because my husband didn't know about the fetish and he didn't know about any of this, but he got suspicious and started looking through my history and stuff (we had separate computers) and when he found out he was really angry.... but even after he calmed down, I simply couldn't talk about it to him, and I was so humiliated and furious (mainly due to feeling humiliated) that I wouldn't even try to save our marriage when it all started going south a few months later.... All I could feel was that HE had exposed this part of my life that had always been kept private and had always been my own and now it was out there and someone KNEW. Even though we still love each other and are friends now, I could *NEVER* discuss this with him, and if he tried, I'm not sure I wouldn't react the way I did before He even registered on the forum before we separated, to see what the big deal was and why I wouldn't or couldn't tell him about it or even discuss it rationally. And I was just so much of a damn freak, I couldn't even look him in the eye after he found out. Not for years. And then I see people hounding others to sneeze for them or having specific scenarios picked out or elaborate fantasies, and I've just never done that. Ever. I've never sat and fantasized about any of it or worked out what I would want or any of that.

Hell, even to this day, when I'm with a partner who knows and understands, I still can't simply SAY what I want in that respect. I never could. Not with any partner in any physical respect. My goal was always to please them, and I almost felt embarrassed that my own pleasure came into play. My husband did manage to cure me of that somewhat after several years of marriage, but I still can't openly just tell my partner what pleases me or what I would like.

I just get so angry sometimes, and feel like shouting at people, "YOU'RE A FREAK" because that's how they make me feel... like I'm a freak. Like even though we share a common bond, that I'll never be like them or feel what they feel or even understand what they are. And that's when I retreat for a day or a week or a month or several months. I dated someone from the forum who was very open about the fetish and had fantasies he wanted to act out both in private and in public, and I always felt so foolish, even though I knew it would be exciting and pleasurable for both of us, I could never do it, because I felt like a freak because I didn't want the same things and wasn't open about it like he was... And it seemed to *always* be on his mind, and it was just a non-issue for me so much of the time, I felt like there must be something wrong with how I felt about it.

I've had long periods where I just didn't want to have anything to do with it... I think I gave up on it as a teenager (maybe 17-18 years old) and didn't acknowledge it for several years because I was afraid of it.... and it became so pent-up and desperate that when I discovered tarotgal's site when I was nearing 20, it became an orgy of indulgence for me, and remained so for a long time. Then again when I was 23, when I got pregnant and had my oldest, it became a non-issue again (well, all sex did) and it wasn't until I re-discovered the community through the forum when I was 28 that I got back into it. And even since I've been here, it's been a bit of a roller coaster ride, but yes, I do understand what you mean, at least I think I do....

and now I feel like an absolute freak but I'm going to post this anyway.

[Trillium]

So often, I'll look at comments or posts and go "what the HELL...." and not be able to understand from that person's point of view at all and feel like an absolute freak because I'm not as "into" it as they are, or as dedicated to all things sneezing or as obsessive or .... I don't know... Sometimes I feel like I'm the only odd one out because I get turned off by a lot of the stuff that gets discussed here and I feel weird and uncool because I don't really like anime or cartoons or any of the stuff the more popular people like.

Yes, I feel this way often. But then I think, we all experience the fetish differently, and that's ok. Also, the guys seem to be more intense about it, which I suppose fits with their intensity about sex in general . . .

My interest in the fetish waxes and wanes, too. Some days I'm really into it, other days I'm ehhhh....But then again, my interest in a lot of things increases and decreases over time. I think it's simply human nature. A book I'm reading, "The Science of Happiness," discusses how we crave novelty, so it makes sense that when you have too much fetish, you get sick of it and do something else for awhile.

[Mr Sneezy]

Not me. It's there, strong as an ox every day.

[UnexploredFetish]

Mr. Sneezy- Congratulations. You're a lucky one.

But as for my issue? Some of it doesn't help that I'm a kind of shy person in all honesty especially when it comes to the fetish. Even outside of that I am not really someone who likes to talk to people about different sexual issues - and, let's face it, that's what this fetish is for the most of them - unless I'm generally attracted to them. An attraction does not come easily over the computer and so when I'm IMed out of the blue and barragged with a bunch of questions about the fetish, or "check out my wavs" or "i just sneezed" I kind of get really turned off. I don't know, maybe girls are different from guys, but the last thing that we want to start a conversation with is sex. I mean, well, I don't know about a guys point of view, but it just gets old after awhile. I don't get turned on by the random act of sneezing - I have to have that attraction.

I don't think advertising your random wavs to me is going to do anything for me. AND WHO SAID THAT I EVEN WANTED THAT?! I did NOT come onto this forum just to be talked to about the sexual part of the fetish because for me it's not all that sexual. It's an additional turn on that is ONLY effective if it's with a person I have some kind of attraction to. Guess what? I don't even have sexual fantasies about just sneezing. Nope. I don't have some fantasy where it's sneezing and some nameless faceless person there with me. God. I don't even know how to explain it to be honest because unless my fetish is a secret, I am not a happy camper. In fact if you know about my fetish, I'm even less turned on then if you're someone who doesn't know about it. Because when people know about it, I feel as if though they can take advantage of it. And NO ONE that I've talked to off of this forum has yet to go without using this fetish (even subtly) against me, even though they CLAIM that they aren't. I'm not stupid.

Now. I'm ranting. I need to stop.

Point is. It gets ruined for me when people take it to the extremes and think that sneezing is sex instead of just being what it is - a turn on. I don't get turned on by your incessant talking about it. lol I do lie about that though to shut some people up because unless I say I'm enjoying it... they just don't go away.

So. That's what's killing it for me. This whole "I sneeze therefore I'm sexy" train of thought that some people seem to be under. I'm sorry... just no, and when I'm talked to like I'm so into this fetish that I'll just have an orgasm at the sound of you sneezing... huh. Guess what? Not gonna happen. None of it. It's killing it for me, actually.

[Lynne]

ah sharkiness..... yes, I'll admit, I have everyone connected to the forum (save a few close friends) set to "see me as invisible" on all my messengers because 99% of the time, i just don't feel like talking about *that*. I also don't have any of my contact info in my profile, after having dodged sharks on YIM for far too long. The worst of the sharks are actually on my "ignore list" on my messenger (meaning that they can't even contact me). I know exactly how you feel. huge turn-off. I'm not a frigging playboy magazine, I'm a PERSON. Being rung up (figuratively... I mean, it's on YIM after all) and asked "hey... sneezing right now?" or being told "mmm my allergies are killing me today" are just total turn-offs. It's a bit of a stereotype that girls like a bit of foreplay, but we do! And if we're not in the mood, then you telling us YOU'RE sexed up certainly isn't going to get us in the mood. UGH.

I'm kind of glad I can pull the excuse now "Sorry... gotta boyfriend... can't play!" LOL

[sprinkles287]

I am totally with you guys on this one. Although I wouldn't necessarily say that I only find sneezing sexy or a turn-on if I know you and find you attractive. BUT it definitely helps. And a big part of what makes this fetish special is that it IS a secret. Actually, it really only turns me on if the sneezing is completely unintentional. Inducing does nothing for me. I don't mind talking to people about the fetish, because it's fascinating and hey, yeah, it is why I'm a member of this forum. But like some of you were saying, that certainly doesn't equate to wanting to talk about our sexual feelings, be constantly told when you sneeze, etc.

Also, interesting thought that it might be mainly the women that feel that way. Any comments from the men?

[Guest Mae31]

I feel the exact same way. I can't get turned on by an IM, it's just not happening. And if I'm talking to someone on AIM from this forum, I would much rather be talking about anything BUT sneezing. At least before I get to know them better.

I also have to have an attraction for the person. I've found that something gets taken away from it after I've told someone (I've told three people). I always think they're thinking the wrong thing after they sneeze. It might also be that I'm extremely shy.

It gets stronger and weaker with me as well. These days, more on the weak side. I don't exactly know why, but I'm alright with it.

[UnexploredFetish]

Yep. I'm in agreement with all of that. There is nothing sexy about sneezing itself. There has to be some kind of general attraction and that hint of secrecy. To know that someone knows my secret is honestly the biggest turn off that I have because I can guarantee that 99% of the time when they sneeze or talk about sneezing they think that they're turning me on, when in all actuality it's the exact opposite. Then I can't help but think how pathetic they are, and after that... I avoid them, then delete them, and all that jazz. There has been no one that has escaped this vicious cycle either, so... there must be something going on

And yes. I realize that this is all women talking, but then again - even before this topic I noticed that men are just triggered by everything. I think it is just a general difference in male versus female. Oh well, guess that's just something that we're going to have to deal with. But it's so pathetic to see a guy thinking that he's turning me on when I'm really like "Oh my God, please don't talk to me." And of course, I'm a nice person, so I can't just say "fuck off" but instead just kind of go "lol" or "congrats," but after that.... it gets sooooo old.

I shouldn't have said it was alright to contact me. I may just change that now. I didn't know what I was asking for apparently. I didn't think that people would IM me to ask for praise for their sneezing. I'm sorry I'm not all "Oh my God! You sneezed! Now you're just like every single other human on the face of the planet! Here's a cookie."

[chui]

omg.....and here i thought i was weird because i DIDNT get turned on by the whole -IM:ijustsneezedashoo- i personally hate being contacted by random people who just start off asking about wavs and pics and telling me about their sniffles.... i came here to meet people....like, you know...actually meet them....not just have imsneezesex.

[Trillium]

Yep. I'm in agreement with all of that. There is nothing sexy about sneezing itself. There has to be some kind of general attraction and that hint of secrecy. To know that someone knows my secret is honestly the biggest turn off that I have because I can guarantee that 99% of the time when they sneeze or talk about sneezing they think that they're turning me on, when in all actuality it's the exact opposite. Then I can't help but think how pathetic they are, and after that... I avoid them, then delete them, and all that jazz. There has been no one that has escaped this vicious cycle either, so... there must be something going on

And yes. I realize that this is all women talking, but then again - even before this topic I noticed that men are just triggered by everything. I think it is just a general difference in male versus female. Oh well, guess that's just something that we're going to have to deal with. But it's so pathetic to see a guy thinking that he's turning me on when I'm really like "Oh my God, please don't talk to me." And of course, I'm a nice person, so I can't just say "fuck off" but instead just kind of go "lol" or "congrats," but after that.... it gets sooooo old.

I shouldn't have said it was alright to contact me. I may just change that now. I didn't know what I was asking for apparently. I didn't think that people would IM me to ask for praise for their sneezing. I'm sorry I'm not all "Oh my God! You sneezed! Now you're just like every single other human on the face of the planet! Here's a cookie."

You have a good (and delightfully funny) perspective on this. I agree with what you're saying.

[Jules]

It is comforting to read that there are others like me here. I, too, thought I was the only one who felt this way. While I am more interested in and aware others' sneezes in real life since joining the forum, they do nothing to get me going at all. I don't mind discussing it with others, but 99.9% of the time they are looking at from another perspective entirely.

The only place I really feel anything is in reading fiction... don't ask me why...

[Guest dustbunni3]

To Lynne: you don't like having the fetish? huh. i always thought of it as something that made me unique. kinky, i guess. im not saying there's anything wrong with you, it's just i never thought of it that negatively. try to not be so hard on yourself, 'k? just b/c other ppl w/ the fetish like diff. things, it doesn't mean you're less than them. differences are good, they spice things up a little. you needn't feel guilty. it's part of what makes you who you are.

peace!

(Y) <-- peace buggy!

JL

[UnexploredFetish]

It is comforting to read that there are others like me here. I, too, thought I was the only one who felt this way. While I am more interested in and aware others' sneezes in real life since joining the forum, they do nothing to get me going at all. I don't mind discussing it with others, but 99.9% of the time they are looking at from another perspective entirely.

The only place I really feel anything is in reading fiction... don't ask me why...

OMG! Me too! I think it's because we can use our imaginations to the max there and make it exactly what we want to while staying in the constraints of the story. It's different than being faced with a reality that we don't like.

[Guest Kessie]

I feel exactly the same way as most of you who have responded here do. "Sex talk" about sneezing does nothing for me and has the opposite of the intended effect.

Back when I first became aware that I wasn't the Only One with this fetish (I think it was in 2001), I posted lot more often on a now-defunct SF forum and my screenname was public. Before I figured out how to hide my screenname (that was also when I got my first computer so I was pretty clueless), there were quite a few weirdos who thought nothing of IM'ing me every single time I logged on, and they weren't doing it to say hello. They would ask me if I had sneezed today and tell me that they just did and would I like to hear them sometime and please call and blah, blah, blah! Contrary to what they thought or hoped, it was a HUGE turnoff. Although there were some very friendly and welcoming members, there were always these jerks to contend with.

This strange fetish affects all of us in so many different ways -- some fantasize about it all day, every day. Some only once in a while. Some like all sneezes, some only like it from their SO. There are so many variations on the likes/dislikes I couldn't possibly list them all here. But I think it's safe to say that a lot of the females here have one thing in common: I bet most of us don't like to get into the types of conversations that these sharks seem to crave. Especially when someone we don't even know types some random comments on their computer and sends them to us via IM or e-mail and then sits back and waits for us to "oooh" and "aaah" over what they've written. It ain't gonna happen!

[Bondi]

I think a lot of the problem here is that the people you might be talking to might or might not understand or respect your boundaries depending on the same situation. Maybe they really get off on the idea of someone else being turned on by their sneezes. That in and of itself wouldn't be a problem and I'll admit that I am one of those people who enjoys telling female fetishists about when I sneeze and stuff like that. It's not something that's an insane turn-on and I don't expect them to get uncontrollably insanely turned on or anything like that and I don't expect them to think that I am the Divine God of Sneezing or the holy grail when it comes to sneezing. It's just a nice thing that I enjoy doing when chatting with them and I happen to sneeze and basically I just do it for fun. On the other hand, I do understand that different people are here for different reasons and that the person I'm chatting wiht might not be that interested and for whatever reason might not be comfortable with telling me about their sneezes or me telling them about theirs and if I know that they are not comfortable with that sort of thing I would not engage in it. I mean, yeah, this is a sneeze fetish community, but at the same time, I'm not always in the mood to get into a deep discussion about sneezing and the person who I am talking to might not always be in the mood to talk about that stuff all the time but if you we other things in common besides the fetish then there would be plenty of other non-fetish related topics that we could be talking about so it doesn't always have to be about sneezing. I think a lot of these and other similar problems come about because the two people corresponding might be in it for different reasons and might want different things out of this community, which is okay but its important that everyone respects everyone else's boundaries at the same time and if someone is only here for sneeze discussions and to get off, then that's fine but they should find other people with similar motives to converse with so all parties involved are happy rather than being a piece of shit shark and forcing others to keep you interested when they don't really want to have these kinds of discussions.

My advice would be when chatting with people that you should let them know outright that you do not wish to engage in deep discussions about sneezing and that you should just let them know about your feelings right away when they tell you that they've sneezed and how it pisses you off, makes you uncomfortable, repulses you, whatever. Like I said, I am one of those people who like to tell other females when I sneezed not because I expect it to insanely turn them on or anything but just because its nice and fun to do. But if someone told me outright that she didn't want to hear about my sneezes and how my sneezes or hearing about them annoyed her, grossed her out, or made her uncomfortable in any way then I wouldn't do it anymore. Sometimes I might even ask if they wanted me to do it or if they prefered I didn't do it. If the person is like me and respects your wishes and is willing to engage in other kinds of conversations, then they might be worth keeping around; otherwise if they still continue to be a sneeze shark then you should probably just block them completely and no longer chat with them, the earlier the better, because if you block them early it might be a lot easier to get rid of them than if you keep putting up with their shit for a long period of time.

But yeah, here's my perspective on the matter, for whatever it's worth.

[Guest Kessie]

That in and of itself wouldn't be a problem and I'll admit that I am one of those people who enjoys telling female fetishists about when I sneeze and stuff like that. It's not something that's an insane turn-on and I don't expect them to get uncontrollably insanely turned on or anything like that and I don't expect them to think that I am the Divine God of Sneezing or the holy grail when it comes to sneezing. It's just a nice thing that I enjoy doing when chatting with them and I happen to sneeze and basically I just do it for fun.

Hi Bondi! Yes, there are those who will mention it occasionally in the course of conversation and don't mean anything more than fun when they do. I hope you know this but I'll say it anyway: The references I made to sharking and this issue were definitely NOT directed towards you. You and I have always had very pleasant, fun conversations -- about sneezing and about other things that we've discovered we have similar interests in. My experience with sharks has been fairly limited (a handful or so) and most were were extremely pushy. It was these pushy, arrogant individuals I was referring to.

[Bondi]

Yeah I understand what your post was about. I hadn't even seen your post until I had finished writing mine. My post was basically from...well not sure if it would be a guy's perspective, but more specifically my perspective on everything that had been discussed thus far in this thread and my own thoughts on the situations brought up.

[Guest]

Yes, I know this feeling seriously. I think there is a MASSIVE variation between what different fetishists will find attractive, even in this quite specific community. There are times when I'll click on a story or an obs and I'll find it a huge turn-off immediately, without being able to formulate why. I guess it all links in with what we find attractive and how the fetish hits that. I don't really know. But there's a spectrum, and so it can feel a bit isolating if there aren't many people on here who appear to have similar attractions.

Personally, I find the fetish waxes and wanes a lot depending on my love life situation (part of being a teenager I guess means that this also waxes and wanes), because if I have a crush/SO then I spend a lot more time fantasising about them sneezing, but only when I'm comfortable with how I feel about them. Other times, when I haven't got anyone in particular, just abstract reading stories/obs/listening to .WAVs is something I prefer to do. At other times again, when I'm not sure how I feel about someone, or some confusion about things anyway, I can't stand thinking about it because it's thinking about something sexual, and that reminds me of them, which I don't want to. Being in one of those situations currently, I've had a chance to notice it more markedly, and thinking how it's weird. Because for me, the fetish is Very linked in with people that I find attractive, possibly because I haven't had that much experience of relationships in general (but you don't want all that), I find it goes along with that. But that's just an example of how my viewing of it might be completely different from someone for whom the fetish is just an additional little thing about someone that turns them on, like a smart way of dressing or long hair or something.

I agree about all the stuff with sharks and people thinking that you get off on them telling you they just sneezed. I can't really stand that idea, because it's way too invasive and so on for me to be comfortable. So yeah, I support that opinion, and just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.

[Guest Kessie]

You're very insightful and obviously intelligent for someone so young (that's meant as a compliment, since I'm 42). You've pretty much encompassed a perspective that describes the way this fetish affects me, also (in a nutshell).

[Eson]

I don't know about you guys, but it's gotten to the point where this whole fetish is going in and out with me.

I have to reply, I just went through this depression ordeal and everything I've have done that could be catergorized as wrong, I felt terrible for. Like the fetish ( they're is nothing wrong with it) but I kind of got to the point where I wanted to let go and focus on the normal category if that makes any since. When I tried though, I heard more sneezing everywhere I went it wouldn't stop. Not to get too deep, but the whole thing was kind of like an omen saying you can't change who you are emotionally as to how you feel. Yeah maybe physically but not emotionally in the light of a fetish. In my opinon about the whole fetish, I think it has to do with hormones and all that extra stuff, and thats why the fetish has the different effect that it does on us all. As for as my personal life and the fetish goes I see things as they are. IT IS WHAT IT IS, if you are feeling like its fading, maybe your growing, or maybe you are just like me and my situation, going through something that makes you feel guilty for everything you do personally that shadows you. I don't think it is anything to worry about after what i've been through recently, I think sometimes its a phase and sometimes it fades. Relationships are very opinated but the way I see it if you are in a relationship and your partner can't or lets say wouldn't understand your fetish then they can't understand you because some of us can't and won't stop this. Maybe because it in itself won't stop or because you don't won't it to. Whatever the reason may be, you can't change who you are and should take the blessing of life as just that A blessing. Your here, your you, and nobody is like you! So in a sense your special, end of story I leave it to you. Excellent post though, I wish I posted like that when I was a newbie.

[tma]

Mr. Sneezy- Congratulations. You're a lucky one.

But as for my issue? Some of it doesn't help that I'm a kind of shy person in all honesty especially when it comes to the fetish. Even outside of that I am not really someone who likes to talk to people about different sexual issues - and, let's face it, that's what this fetish is for the most of them - unless I'm generally attracted to them. An attraction does not come easily over the computer and so when I'm IMed out of the blue and barragged with a bunch of questions about the fetish, or "check out my wavs" or "i just sneezed" I kind of get really turned off. I don't know, maybe girls are different from guys, but the last thing that we want to start a conversation with is sex. I mean, well, I don't know about a guys point of view, but it just gets old after awhile. I don't get turned on by the random act of sneezing - I have to have that attraction.

I don't think advertising your random wavs to me is going to do anything for me. AND WHO SAID THAT I EVEN WANTED THAT?! I did NOT come onto this forum just to be talked to about the sexual part of the fetish because for me it's not all that sexual. It's an additional turn on that is ONLY effective if it's with a person I have some kind of attraction to. Guess what? I don't even have sexual fantasies about just sneezing. Nope. I don't have some fantasy where it's sneezing and some nameless faceless person there with me. God. I don't even know how to explain it to be honest because unless my fetish is a secret, I am not a happy camper. In fact if you know about my fetish, I'm even less turned on then if you're someone who doesn't know about it. Because when people know about it, I feel as if though they can take advantage of it. And NO ONE that I've talked to off of this forum has yet to go without using this fetish (even subtly) against me, even though they CLAIM that they aren't. I'm not stupid.

Now. I'm ranting. I need to stop.

Point is. It gets ruined for me when people take it to the extremes and think that sneezing is sex instead of just being what it is - a turn on. I don't get turned on by your incessant talking about it. lol I do lie about that though to shut some people up because unless I say I'm enjoying it... they just don't go away.

So. That's what's killing it for me. This whole "I sneeze therefore I'm sexy" train of thought that some people seem to be under. I'm sorry... just no, and when I'm talked to like I'm so into this fetish that I'll just have an orgasm at the sound of you sneezing... huh. Guess what? Not gonna happen. None of it. It's killing it for me, actually.

That drives me NUTS! Seriously... I've been not so subtly accused in the past of not having the fetish because I don't really DO fetish talk. Which just makes me roll my eyes.

What *I* am into in fics- Good fics... like stories that I'd read Regardless of the sneezing part and then there's that added (tastefully) on top and *Sigh!!*

I Like the embarrassment factor. If someone is all cocky about it and acting like the fact that they've announced that they sneezed is going to make me jump them- TOTAL turn off. IF I like it I like to enjoy it the way that I like to. If that makes sense.

I don't chat with people that I haven't gotten a good feel of prior to- (through posts and such). That might make me seem like a prig- but... its just the way that I work. I've met some Absolutely amazing people that I'm proud to call friend. My friends and I (other than the writer friends were we "ajdkfhkfhakh" about scenes and scenarios) talk about the fetish next to Never. We talk about "normal" stuff- same as my non-fetish friends. It's really a shame that the people that Just see it as a sex option can't all be open about that and that some resort to tricks and such. To me its fine if that is how they see it- their choice... so go and talk to someone who feels the same and then you can both be happy. Leave people Alone who aren't saying "yeah... I'm Totally looking for that".

[aggedy_ann]

I'm somewhat like tma in regards to talking about it and such over IM. When it comes to talking to people and such, I much prefer to get to know them as people before I will even start talking about anything related to the fetish (unless I'm discussing writing scenarios.) People who only insist on talking about the fetish and such with me get blocked off my IM list. Yes, I am a fetishist, but there's also a person there with her own thoughts and ideas and such...there's so much more to me than the fetish. And I like getting to know people...I like knowing what is going on in their lives and what they like to do and all that other stuff...I've made a lot of good friends through here and we have a lot more in common than just the fetish.

I do have the fetish even though by my actions and such in convos, it doesn't always seem that way...and it's on my mind a lot...there's some days where it seems like it's constant, and there's days where it tapers off and such...it's never completely vanished, but there are days where it's just kinda like "eh." And my likes and dislikes fluctuate a lot as well...there's things that I don't notice one week and then the next, I turn completely to goo over it. And there's been times where I've previously liked something and then found that it doesn't do it for me anymore. I don't have a fixed fetish. And I don't talk about it a lot, except with people I can trust and who are similar. If I don't know you that well, I won't talk about it. I won't engage in sneezy convos or voice chat or any of that stuff simply because I don't feel comfortable doing that. There are things in my life that I'm very open about, and other things that I'm rather private about, and the fetish is one of them.

But I think it is normal for the fetish to fluctuate...I think a good number of us here have had times where it's been dormant or nearly dormant and also times where it has been kicked into overdrive.

I've also noticed that where I am has a lot to do with it. I don't tend to really be affected in any way by the sneezes I hear at work (I work in long term health care) unless it's like a coworker or something on break or at post-conference with classmates after clinicals.. But when I'm in a clinical setting working, I seem to have it switched off...I notice the sneezes, but I notice them as I would any other symptom or anything like that.

So I guess basically what I'm saying is that there's a lot of factors that go into what makes the fetish for you, and it does fluctuate. And yeah, the first time that happened to me, I was afraid that it was going away...but it came back

[2NewGuy]

I agree 100%.

[Guest Ruby]

I understand to an extent what you feel. Most of the time I do not really feel...I don't know, fetishy? Horny I guess. I don't have that much of a sex drive (seeing as girls usually have a much weaker one than guys). I don't think I'll tell anyone until I'm old and it will be funny. Old people can get away with anything. Besides as we get older we learn to accept ourselves more. I had a lot of issues when I first got an account on this forum under a different name when my english was much worse. A guy asked if he could use AIM to have a conversation (chat? I'm not sure what the proper term is). I thought he just wanted to comiserate about having a fetish and personal quirks or something but he started asking me to write about myself sneezing and somehow it ended up as some sort of wacko online sex chat that has left me uncomfortable ever since. I don't blame him or anything. I should have left the conversation early if I didn't like where it was going but I felt that I had to be just as into it as other people on the board were. I think it was just that I'd finally gotten the answer to why I felt that way when other people sneezed and was so happy I wasn't alone in it that I really wanted to be accepted. But now I'm older and more sure of myself. All I can say is don't go onto message boards you don't want to. You don't even have to go on to the forum if you don't want to. But you shouldn't judge yourself for having a fetish even if it makes your squirm to think about. Try and be as self-accepting as possible because everyone is different and beautiful in their own different ways.