Guest jafeir Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 It's my first try so please be gentle with me.Part OneA frigid breeze smoothly rushed across the houses on the beach as the sun rose. Sunlight filled the town, rousing the people awake. A sunbeam hit the window of Enta’s room. He woke up and opened the window, getting a breath of the cold sea air.“Ahh” he sighed “What a great day”Enta lived in an ocean country. The money the people got was mainly from the fish they caught and sold to other countries’. Enta came from a long line of fishermen, he loved going out on the boat to catch fish. He was always raring to go out on a fishing trip. But catching the fish was only half of the reason he loved the ocean. He pulled a ragged, slightly faded blue cloth from his side-table and tied it around his wrist. Enta ran down the stairs to see his older sister, Aisa scaling and gutting fish in the sink, and his younger sister Uri watching the television.“Good Morning” Aisa said tossing him an orange from the bowl next to her “How did you sleep”“Pretty well” he said peeling the orange “My dreams are getting better and better” he said happily popping orange slices in his mouthUri gave her brother a skeptical look “Are you still going on about mermaids” she asked “I’m eleven years old” she said “That’s a full six years younger than you, and I don’t believe in mermaids”Enta ate the last remnants of the orange and smiled at his sister “You can believe whatever you want to kid” he said “But I know what I saw and that’s my story”Aisa was putting the fish in a bag filled with various spices “Enta, could you help me with the red pepper before you leave” she asked“Sure” he said walking over to the cabinet and pulling out a bottle of red powder. He shook it gently, emptying a small amount into the bag.“That’s enough” she said closing the bag“I’m going now” he said putting the bottle back on the shelf“Try not to get pulled to the bottom of the sea by those mermaids that you love so much” Uri said with a snickerEnta took back the bottle of pepper, removed the stopper, and blew some in his sisters’ face. “See ya later” he said running out the door.She was snorting and wheezing as the pepper made its’ way into her sinuses. “Hyatchoo....Ahshoosh...Heeetchiew” her nose and eyes ran like waterfalls “Choosh...AhShoo..Ugh..you j-j-j-JyatChoo...Bahshoo...JERK”Aisa quietly giggled to herself as she watched her sister take the full effect of the spicy powder that reeked havoc on the inside of her nose.“Oh, that Enta is such a child” she thought.XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXEnta sped through the town, laughing loudly at his sister’s expression. He stopped at the beach and noticed he was sill holding the bottle of red pepper. He slipped it into his pocket and thought “I’ll take it back to her later”.He maneuvered himself around many people and ran across the sandy ground. He jumped over many rocks and perched himself on a very high ledge. He stared off into the horizon and saw a large rock in the distance. “Lumina’s Rock” he thought “The mermaids’ home”. He laid backwards and closed his eyes. “I don’t care if I’m the only one who believes in them” he thought “I know they’re real”(Five years ago)The wind raged, the ocean churned violently. The storms were much worse around this time of year.Sometimes, they would even experience horrible tidal waves. A gust of wind blew open Enta’s window, waking him up instantly. He drowsily walked over to the window to shut it but he stopped to look outside. As the winds died down he saw a shadowy figure standing on the beach, staring out at Lumina’s rock.He rubbed the crumbs from his eyes and looked a second time. The figure was still there. He grabbed a thick cloak from his closet and ran outside. As he got closer, the figure became clearer to him. It was a girl around his size and age. She had long black hair decorated with shells and jewels. She was wearing a long blue skirt around her waist, and a blue cloth wrapped around her budding breasts. Enta ran up to her “Why are you out here” he askedShe continued to stare out into the ocean. Enta stepped closer to her and noticed that she was shivering.“Are you cold” he askedShe shook her head but she continued to shiver. Enta examined the girl and saw that her skin had a slight blue tinge to it. The girl was nearly freezing to death.“Here, let me help you” he said “No” she said ‘I don’t need your heh...heh....Hikshoo...Hihshoo.....Huhchoo” She dropped to the ground and continued her sneezing fit. Soon she felt something on her shoulders, Enta had taken his cloak off and put it on the girls’ shoulders’.As the warmth spread through her body, she looked up at Enta’s smiling face “Why did....why did you do this she asked” clutching at the cloakEnta’s smile just grew wider “You don’t need a reason to help someone” he saidThe girl looked up at him in disbelief. Her expression didn’t change a bit, but tears slipped out of her violet eyes.Enta was taken aback “Why are you crying” he askedShe started to sob “No one....no one has....ever been so...kind to me”She tore off a piece of her skirt, blew her nose into it and then used it to dry her eyes. “My name’s Enta” he saidWith a sniffle and a hiccup she stood up “I’m Kyria” she saidEnta held out his hand to shake hers. She ignored his hand walked toward him, and firmly planted her soft lips on his. When she pulled away, they were both blushing. He slowly brought his hand to his lips. A chill ran up and down his spine. The chill gave way to a group of forceful sneezes. He pulled away from her in order not to spray her.“Huh..HuhShoo.....Wahshoo.....RahShoo...Haahshoo” Kyria walked up to him with a look of concern in her eyes. She tore off another piece of her skirt and handed it to him.“Thanks” he said with a watery sniffle. As he blew his nose, he felt his body get heavier, then he heard a splash. When he opened his eyes, his cloak was once again on his shoulders, and Kyria was nowhere to be found. He stood up and looked around the beach, there was nobody there but him. He tightly gripped his cloak and noticed a ragged edge, it was as if someone had torn off a piece of it. He turned back to the ocean and his eyes nearly popped from his head. Rising from the water was a silver, almost transparent tailfin. He looked at the blue cloth in his hand. There was only one thought in his head.“Kyria...is a...mermaid”(Back to the present)Enta sat up and stared down at the beach where he met Kyria. He glanced at the cloth tied around his wrist “I know she’s a mermaid” he thought“And I know one day that I’ll see her again”A muscular woman looked up at the ledge where Enta was sitting and called out to him “Hey Enta”Enta looked down and saw the woman “Yes” he called back“Come down to the beach” she said “It’s time for the boats to go out and I need the extra help”Enta stood up and dusted off his pants “Coming mom” he said running back the way he came.END Link to comment
And Beat Him When He Sneezes Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Quite good. Keep 'em coming. I know I'd like explanation of where all these sneezes come from. Link to comment
Jules Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 Very nice story, thanks for sharing. Are you planning to have Enta meet Kyria again in another story? Seems like you finished this one with that possibility. Just wondering... Link to comment
Guest jafeir Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 (edited) Did I say I was finished?. There's still more to the story. You'll see them both again as soon as I get to posting the next parts. And believe me...things get much better. Keep in mind, when Kyria and Enta first met they were children. How do you think they'll be now that they're older, And besides, I still have a story to tell about the meaning of Lumina's Rock. Edited January 30, 2008 by Lynne Link to comment
Jules Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 No, I guess you didn't say you were finished... although I kind of thought you were since it says "END" at the bottom of your post. You must've meant the end of the chapter. Can't fault me for wondering, as some stories are often left open ended. Anyway, sorry for the confusion. I'll look forward to the continuation... Link to comment
lalaland~ Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 A mermaid story! I like it, please write more~! Link to comment
elements Posted January 24, 2008 Share Posted January 24, 2008 whoa! this is so cool..even without the sneezes (sorry to those who think im crazy heh) but what a fantastic piece of fiction! i always loved mermaids! thanks for sparking my imagination! Link to comment
Guest jafeir Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Sorry to say this, but a virus wiped out the second part of my story. I can replicate it, but it'll take a whileHold on for me Link to comment
elements Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 holding!sorry to hear that! Link to comment
Guest jafeir Posted March 20, 2008 Share Posted March 20, 2008 Part2Enta ran down to his mother on the beach. While it was true that he came from a long line of talented fisherman, his mother Sciera was the best anyone had every seen. She was one of the best fishermen in the town, and one of the most beautiful women. She had a pair of beautiful sea-green eyes, a glistening smile, and a set of breasts that were rivaled only by the other women in her family. She was the envy of every woman in town, and of a few men as well.She was physically stronger than every man in the whole town. She could push an entire fleet of ships out to sea bare-handed. Lift over 20 full fishing nets without even breaking a sweat. And had a punch that was equal in strength to the kicks of eighty, one-hundred pound mules. At least, that’s what a man who tried to kill Enta in a drunken rage said.(After he woke up ten days later anyway).She was known as a savage fighter, a master fisherman, and a beautiful woman to the entire town. But to Uri, Aisa, and Enta, she was a kind, loving and some times overprotective mother.“Whatcha need, mom” Enta askedShe sniffled “I need you to teach the trainees today” She said “Just run them through the basics and get ready because we’re heading out earlier than we usually do”“Are you OK mom?“ He asked“I’m fine” she said firing a string of snot from her nostril “Just a little....congested”“If you don’t feel well, I can take over for you” he offeredShe shook her head and smiled warmly “Thanks for the offer Enta, but I’m fine. I’m feel perfectly.......AAA-SHYOO.......HATCHOO. Cough..Hack..Cough....HUAAH-CHOO”“You don’t sound fine” Enta said a small smirk crossing his face “You sound like you’re coughing up a monkey”“Ha ha” Sciera said “It’s only a little cold”“The last time it was only “A little cold” you were in bed for two weeks” Enta said. Despite her strength, when it came down to her health, Enta was stronger. He started pushing her toward the village “Go home and go to bed”“I’m fine” she argued“Go home and rest” he said finality “You can miss the day trip, and then lead off the night trip”She took a cloth from her pocket and, with a sound similar to the foghorns her underlings operated, she blew her nose “Have it your way” she said unable to fight her son any longer “Just tell the one who’ll be replacing me to come back fast”“What’s the rush” he asked“We’re expecting a storm to come later, and I don’t want to be out there any longer than we have to be” she said while dabbing at her nostrilsAfter watching her to make sure she left, he ran up to their boat and started gathering his equipment. He glanced over and stared longingly at Lumina’s Rock.“Kyria” he thought. Suddenly his thoughts were interrupted by a bunch of voices. Many children had rushed into his boat.All right, all right settle down” he said “I’ll be teaching you everything you need to know about fishing”For the next forty-five minutes he explained the mechanics of fishing to them. Line fishing, kite fishing, using a net, how to use a harpoon correctly. He taught them everything they needed to know. But he made sure to give them the most important rule at the end of the discussion.“There is one thing that you all must know” Enta said “Out of all the rules that you must abide by, this is the most important”Everyone had their eyes on him. He was the absolute center of attention.“So... what is it” a child askedEnta took a deep breath and spoke “The most important thing that you must know is this” “NEVER go near Lumina’s Rock”................................“Why” a child asked “I heard that Lumina’s Rock is the best place to catch fish”“Lumina’s Rock probably is the best place to catch fish, but it’s surrounded by whirlpools” he explained “If you go near it, you’ll be sucked down to the depths of the ocean”A dozen eyes widened as he said that.A boy spoke up “But don’t some of the best fisherman go there” he asked“Not some of the best” Enta said “Only the best, My mom has been to Lumina’s Rock twice, and that was only because fishing had been slow back then and the town really needed the money”A small girl raised her hand “Is it true what the say” she asked “That Lumina’s Rock is where the mermaids live”A roar of laughter emitted from the children “You still believe in mermaids”“You’re such a baby” “There’s no such thing”An alarm went off. The children began to leave, Enta snuck up behind the girl and whispered his answer in her ear.“Yes” She smiled as she left the ship. As other men came aboard the ship he asked one “Whose leading today” “Kiban” he answeredEnta’s heart sank when he said that. He had nothing against him personally, sure he was a bit arrogant but they got along well. The problem was his sister Ivari. She was once Kiban’s shy little sister, but she started puberty early and became a shameless flirt with her eyes set on Enta. And it didn’t help that he was two years younger than her.“Oh well” he thought “Maybe she won’t come with him”5 Minutes Later“I just had to jinx it” he thought running over to another side of the boat so he wouldn’t be seenHe began to coil rope around his shoulder and tied one end to his harpoon. As he did so, a voice rang out. “Hi Enta”He turned around and was met by the very girl he was trying to avoid “What do you want, Ivari” he asked sourly“Just to get to know my future husband” she said kneeling down beside him“We’ve been over this, Ivari” he said “I’m not interested in you”She made an annoyed face “Why not” she asked Enta thought for a few moments and answered “Because I like…..someone else” . An image of Kyria appeared in his mind Ivari looked irritated “What’s she have that I don’t”Enta smiled “A tailfin” he answered saucily“Don’t tell me your still going on about mermaids” Ivari said “You were only a child back then” ”Isn’t it about time you let go of that myth already”“I’ll never let it go” he said “As long as I live I’ll keep holding on to it””Because I know it’s real”Defeated, Ivari walked off. Enta looked out at the sea. “Time to go to work” he thoughtKiban called out to Enta “Get ready” he said “We’re heading out”Enta walked up to him “My mom said we can’t be out too long” he said “We’re expecting a storm”“No need to worry” Kiban said “We’ll make this quick and easy”. Then he took a deep breath and shouted “Let’s set sail”End part2 Link to comment
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