I feel like a freak again

[Quell]

Today at school there was this assembly thing. Two young women spoke about their lives, basically, and about name-calling and acceptance and stuff like that.

At the end we got to ask them questions, and I, in front of half the school, asked mine.

What I basically said was that I got turned on by a particular thing (I am so glad I didn't elaborate) and that I was keeping it a secret, and that it was kind of stressing me out, what should I do, etc.

So, I glance over to the very first person I told about my fetish, and what is she doing?

She's laughing. On the edge of losing it, in fact.

*sigh* It just... it hurts to see one of your best friends... laughing at you like that because of something you honestly, really like...

I mean, I was nervous while I was asking my question. I was shaking and almost felt like crying when I was done, I was that scared.

So, after the whole thing, as we were leaving, this guy asks me, "Are you gay?"

"No," I replied.

So, a little later, one of my friends (third person I told) says to me that about ten people have been asking her questions. "Is Amanda gay?" "Does Amanda look at porn or something?"

So, I screwed up and should have just kept my mouth shut, but I didn't, and now half the school has the wrong impression of me.

Are my only real friends imaginary...?

Any of you been in a similar situation? Help? Please?

[Guest UncommonCold]

That must be hard. Well, if I were you I'd take it easy because, guess what, they'll soon forget! I still remember when I first came out of the closet about being bisexual. I'd got loads of questions and everyone was curious. But after a while, they lost interest and everything went back to normal. People have their own business and as much as they want to sneak into other people's, they just don't have enough time for that really. And your bad friends, well, screw them. If they can't be good to you then they aren't worthy of your friendship.

[god_bless_allergies]

Wow I am sorry things didn't turnout welll for you. Uncommon is right soon everyone everyone will forget and move on to something else. Good luck

[Sternuto]

Teenage time is a difficult time. Dont worry. It'll pass.

[Mistress Quickly]

Sadly, I have to second Sternuto on this one. People can be ignorant and cruel, no more so than as children and teenagers, and this is an experience everyone has gone through, in some form or another. I'm really sorry that your friends have been so unsupportive, but it will pass, and people will find something else to be immature about. It's absurd how anything considered slightly out of the norm can be blown wholly out of proportion, isn't it? Just keep in mind that you're not in the wrong, and shouldn't have to feel like you have some sort of huge secret. You're not a freak, hun; it was incredibly brave of you to speak out.

[Guest]

*hugs* Don't worry about it, it dies down. I'm completely afraid of telling even my best friend about it because I got burned at age 14, so I completely understand. Its true you should have probably gone up at the end and asked them privately, but it will blow over in a few weeks maximum, really it wil. Just laugh along with any suggestions people make.

[Miss.A.Tishoo]

I think you've already been given a lot of good advice; and it's true, it will blow over in time.

One thing I'll add though is just think how many of your peers will have a fetish/preference that no one knows about; you may have been the only one brave enough to ask the question, but you certainly aren't alone, and I bet a lot of people were interested in the answer they gave (whether they'll admit it or not).

So don't feel like a freak, because okay, the sneezing fetish is rare, but there are plenty of others out there

[chui]

oh honey. im so sorry you have to deal with people being that immature. its unfortunately true that people can be really cold and cruel about things they either dont understand, or things they themselves feel, but are too scared or ashamed to admitt. i think its really amazing that you were brave enough to speak out and ask questions.

you're not a freak, sweetheart. not by any means. this isnt something you chose, nor is it something you should feel ashamed of. its just a part of who you are, a good part at that. when you are ready for it, a fetish can be a wonderful addition to human sexuality, something to be enjoyed and experienced when you choose.

if you are really close with this friend, i would recommend talking to her. ask her why she was laughing. tell her that this is something serious to you, and that it hurts and bothers you when she just laughed at it. a good friend will listen to you, and understand that this upset you, and then help you run "damage control" with other people. rumors will die out soon enough, especially if you dont let them get to you, and if you have close friends laughing them off too.

you havent done anything wrong, nor are you a freak. people can only make you feel like one if you let them, hold your head up high, and keep pushing on. it can be hard to stand up against them all, but just know, you arent alone. we care about you here, and a lot of us have been right where you are, and we will all stand beside you and support you as much as possible through here. chin up, love.

[Quell]

See, this is why I love this place.

Everyone here is so supportive of everyone. (Er, most of the time.)

It's the only community where I haven't felt content with just lurking all the time. I don't know why that is, but I feel more support from you guys than anyone else I've ever met.

Another friend (the one who got asked all the questions) and I are going to do some rumor control, hopefully we can stop this before it gets out of control.

It has occurred to me that the laughing friend may have been laughing because of a "I know what this is about and nobody else does" thing, but I'm not completely sure... but I will be talking to her, and desperately hoping she doesn't scream at me and try to pin this all on me. (Yes, she really is like that. She has seriously said "STOP BLAMING ME FOR EVERYTHING!" to a teacher when she was in the wrong.)

I'm hoping this all blows over soon, and if it doesn't, too bad for me, I should stop being so melodramatic.

(*plugs new story*)

[Sneesee]

I don't know if I can add anything of importance here, except that I had a similar situation with a friend once, and I know she didn't actually do it on purpose. The first female I told was my friend, Trish. I told her twoards the end of summer, 2006. And now, she's about 5 years older than me, so she's definitely no school girl. However, the guy she was crushing on at the time, our mutual friend Lance, happened to sneeze at my house, in the kitchen, with a bunch of people present. Now, she, Lance, and my hubby were the only three who knew about my fetish. Lance ignored it, even though he was the one that sneezed, and hubby thankfully didn't behave like he ususally does and make a comment. However, Trish blushed and giggled, a lot. And she kept looking at me and giggling. And kind of made it obvious. Hubby then realized she knew. And a friend of ours who didn't know kept asking what was so funny. I was pretty embarrassed, but then, I knew she couldn't help it.

Maybe your friend couln't help it because she did know something the rest of them didn't. I guess what I'm saying is, give her a tiny break. Not everyone is as discreet about it as we'd like them to be. I know I even caught a friend who was discreet, asking me questions at a party once kind of loud, and that was a little nerve-wracking for me. But, honestly, even if you guys told the truth to squelch the rumor that you are gay, no one would probably believe it.

The only friends who can be totally discreet are the imaginary ones, because they are not human. Our human friends make mistakes, and act, well, human most of the time.

[Daphine]

First off good for you for being so brave I could never have done what you did in high school, to be honest I couldn't do it now.

As for what happend, I'm really sorry it happend to you Like Sternuto and others have said high school is a very hard time in ones life. Back in high school I thought I was the biggest freak in the world, this is a problem I still deal with today. All I can say is it do's get better, I promise

As for your friends, if there true friends then they would never say anything regardless how many people ask. But I think you should mention to your best friend that her laughing really hurt you. It's always best to clear the air.

Best of luck and please try not to worry to much about this. I know easier said than done

[confetishcake]

Firstly, You are braver than I could ever hope to be.

I understand how it is at school. And if I were at that assembly I surley would have listened, and we're the same age. So its all the more likely someone else is also grateful for your asking that difficult question. There are probably more of us with odd fettishes than there may seem.

You've already gotten tons of wonderful advice here, and I've nothing else really to add, other than I know what you're going through and I truley do understand how hard it must be.

People get bored, and they'll forget by next week. Working on damage control? It'll be over even faster.

All the best!

[The Dead One]

It seems to me that this friend is not acting very friend like towards you at the moment. Maybe you should let them know that. But you are most definately NOT a freak.

[Lynne]

To be fair here.... you are a thirteen-year-old girl. You brought up a subject that was sexual in nature in front of a bunch of OTHER thirteen-year-olds. It's simple common sense that their reaction wouldn't be the most mature or understanding one you could hope for. It wasn't really an appropriate subject to be brought up in a school assembly, and I'm personally not at all surprised by the reaction you got. It's unfortunate, but that's how kids react to that sort of thing.

[The Dead One]

I told my mum about the fetish and the forum when I was about 15. The reply I got was "don't worry Tom you'll grow out of it I'm sure." There are many different reactions to the fetish, but in my experience, the worst ones you'll get are when ytou are in school.

[doggo]

Well I remember being 13 years old and being quite open-minded and understanding for my age. I also remember honestly thinking that if I can be like that, maybe others of my age can be too. I think giving others a chance to show that they're cool, undestanding people and not only "some 13-years-olds who act stupidly" shows a lot of respect for other people, wether they are deserving of it or not. I think an attitude like that should be treasured.

Kitten, I think you showed a lot of courage. Sometimes courage leads to eased out, solved situations, sometimes into awkward situations, sometimes into both. But the main point is that you are corageous (much more than I!) and would not put others down yourself.

I'm sure a little time eases the situation out, and maybe even for some people it's very encouraging when they start to come out with their own closets.

Hang in there!