I'm sorry, this is going to be really long, but I really need help.

[Guest kayyy.]

UGH! GODDD!

I'm sorry, I might be rambling on for a little while. But if you're kind enough, please read this and help me.

Well, ever since I found this forum, everybody's like "Oh, I told my best friend, blah blah blah." And I guess it sort of got to me and I wanted to tell my best friend. Bad choice. We were sitting on her bed last night, watching t.v. And it came to me. This is how to conversation went.

Me: I wanna tell you a secret, but I can't..

Her: Why not??! Tell me! UGH, come on, please!

Me: I can't! You'll think I'm weird and retarded, or something.

Her: Oh, definitely. Do you think I'm going to go, "UGH! I'm not your friend anymore! GO HOME!"

Me: *Laughs* No..but..blah blah blah, *and this goes on for like, 10 more minutes.*

FINALLLYY,

Me: Okay fine! Here, I'll write it.

So I write it down and give it to her. She looks at me and laughs.

Her: You have got to be kidding me.

Me: What? I'm not. I'm serious.

Her: You like SNEEZING? That's not it, you're lying to me.

Me: NO! I'm serious!

Her: *Laughs* Sneezing? A sneezing fetish? That's-I, I don't get it..

Me: Well, that's it..look it up, then, if you don't believe me.

So she gets up and looks it up.

Her: Oh, look. There's a forum for it.

Me: Really? Wow. I didn't know that.

[ ]

Her: So, you like..sneezing?!?

Me: SHH! You're so loud!

Her: *Laughs* What? There's nothing bad about it. I don't understand why you're so embarrassed about it.

Me: If-if you had one, you'd understand.

So then we just got off the subject. But my problem is, I keep thinking about it. Why the hell did I tell her?!?!?! It feels like our friendship is so different now than it was. I mean, I could have just kept it to myself because that's how I like it, but NOOO. I was just so damn stupid. Like, I keep telling myself "Okay, it's not the end of the world, hopefully she'll forget about it, the world's not gonna end here."

But I have this thing, and my life is pretty much ruined because I told her. What do I do? I need sympathy, please help me guys.

[King_of_the_ruins]

i wouldn't let it worry you, most people once you tell them forget about it in a day or 2. Some people might tease you about it (in jest, not harmful, or derogatory) then you never know, you might get to hear obs about some people.

[Secret]

King_of_the_ruins is right it's not that bad. In fact she seemed very okay with it, she might even trust you better since you told such a big secret (secret-secret not me Secret). Although it feels embarrassing it's not like she hates you or dislikes you, so kudos on telling your secret .

[ilovesneezing]

I think you were really brave telling her. And she seemed to be ok with it. I will no doubt be on her mind the next few times she sees you, but that will pass, it always does. Things could have gone a LOT worse. If you do loose her friendship, she probably wasnt worth it.

Good Luck sweetie

[Vetinari]

You know what? Not that long ago I told a a friend at work and afterwards I felt INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. I wished I had not done it for the same reasons as you i.e. that her main reaction seemed to be amusement that I had made a big deal about it (she kept saying she was quite disappointed that it was not something more raunchy).

The next couple of times I worked with her were very uncomfortable and I kept wondering whether it was in her head every time she looked at me. I wondered as well whether her reaction wasn't to cover up the fact that she found it disgusting.

Anyway not too long afterwards she got a cold.....I'll give you a link to the observation I wrote

After this she has occasionally mentioned that every time she sneezes now she thinks of me and giggles a bit as she finds it amusing (in a nice way it's definitely not meant in an insulting way).

You may find that as things go on you and your friend may discuss this more. I can appreciate that you probably feel a bit horrified as you weren't expecting the reaction she gave you. However at least she didn't mutter "Yuk, you pervert" and disappear. Hang in there......you never know what is just around the corner.

[chui]

oh hon! first thing....take a deep breathe and calm down some... its going to be ok. she seemed really accepting about it, which is a good thing. she didnt freak out, or anything, and she seems like she isnt going to let it come between your friendship. she'll either forget about it after a little while, or, she may remember like Vetinari's friend. Ive had people do both, but if they didnt initially freak out, then they will most likely stay cool with it.

Really, i think the thing that will help you the most is becoming more comfortable on your own with the fetish. once you can accept and embrace it as a part of yourself (wow that sounds so horrifically new age) and not feel ashamed or worried about it, then it wont be such a trauma for others to know about it.

i started out as a fetishists best friend too. i wasnt born with this, and didnt know a thing about it until she told me about it. and the more i thought about it, the more i decided i liked it, and then, i sort of caught it....and from there, it became great fun for the two of us. we were both very comfortable and open about it, and could tease each other and play with it, like giggling girls do with anything else...clothes, cute boys, etc...

you may not even want something like that at the moment, and thats fine, but when you are more comfortable with it, and accept it as just another wonderful facet of who you are, it wont worry you so much. i hate seeing you feeling like your world is upside down, and i know how traumatic it can be when you tell people thigns and immediately wish you hadnt... but just know that e are all here for you, and we support you. chin up, love.