The Chimney, M

[billy]

Nothing special or that interesting. Just tried to think of a moment that would cause a sneeze...sometimes i wonder if i should even be allowed on this board, because i don't really like to watch or hear people sneeze (pretty much the opposite), but i get excited to read about it (you guys write interesting thoughts)...i guess cause because of the spelling and you can imagine how it sounds for yourself.

Anyway....here we go...

He felt extremely tight that day, his body like something not stretched for ages. Home was good, because he usually set about to manual labor. He would have been much happier as a farmer or construction man. Though quite a brilliant fellow, this shy one never felt happier than when he was working with his hands and back. He could see the equations of how to build something as he moved his tools about whatever it was. He could feel the chemical reactions inside of him as felt the sweat of his brow. Best of all, unlike with papers, he felt he was making it all himself. That was when he was happy, and when he could slowly release from the business he was trapped in with nothing to do but writing some nonsense that everyone his whole life assured him would do the world some good.

At home, however, nothing seemed to thrill him as it usually did when he arrived. He felt almost like, “what was the point?” A million knots inside would just be there again tomorrow. What was the point of releasing them? Despite that he had now become miserable even with being home and doing what he felt was his true work; it needed to get done…start with the chimney.

He had let that go for the longest time, for he didn’t like tight places. He was very thin, but rather tall, and it was easy to get caught up in the dark vertical tunnel. Still another day just couldn’t be tolerated. Not even changing out of his daily work clothes, he went to get it out of the way. Crawling into the opening of the stones, he looked up what appeared to be the entrance to the inferno, only upward, and began to climb; taking mild pleasure that he was getting his best suit extremely dirty.

Already a yard or two up, he shook his rather long hair away from his eyes, looked up and down again, about to keep climbing, he reached his hand a little too quickly, and lost footing, slipping into a mixture between a plummet and slide. Hitting the bottom, he couldn’t see a thing, and a bit frightened, he shook, hearing what sounded like particles whipping across the stone. A pouring of soot came right upon him…

He had never had allergies, very few colds, so was not prone to sneezing. Had you asked him, he wouldn’t have had the slightest idea when the last time he sneezed. This that was happening was such a surprise also, because there was no irritation, and no thought. He would even have the time to say, “I’m gonna sn-sneeze!” The black cloud went right into his nose and a tickle so strong began immediately. No watery eyes or wriggling nose, but his body felt like it was thrown into a series of reflexes upon each other, not sure what to do or how the brain should interpret them.

His breath hitched, “Eh! Eh! Heh-heh-heh-” and suddenly his own voice came forth, sounding like he was stuttering, “ah-ah-Ha-ah-Ha…Hah…” As if trying to escape it, he tried to move about in the chimney, but hitting the stone only made more black clouds and as they engulfed him, the tickle grew so much worse, his voice grew more distressed and quick, “HA! AHH-HA!…Ahh, ahh, ah, ah…“ He finally couldn’t fight anymore, and with a finally rise and jerk of the head, “eh! EH! EH! EH-EHchooo!”

And the great echo caused the smoke to find the bottom exit to the chimney, sending a great cloud into his house, and rest on his furniture.

He leaned against the wall, not quite back in reguluar thinking mode, but this time he could his face tightening into a pre-sneeze face, and his voice came more slowly, “Ahh…ahh…ah!ah!ah! ahhchoo!” He heard the sound of more soot and he could sense the cloud grazing his face, “Oh…No…N-N-N….HEHCHOO!” I began to wriggle to escape, “I gotta get out, I-I-I…! choo! AH…ehhhchoo!”

He finally managed to worm free and into his living room, only to meet the blackness. The sneezes came quick, and with all the others, the inhaling was A LOT bigger than the small exhale, “AHHchoo! AHHchoo! AHH-AHH! chooooo...” And then a torture… “Ahh…Ahh…...ahh...” nothing…seemed over, but suddenly, he blinked, and it felt like a million feathers inside. Once again, he was voice was quick, but everything else was helpless in trying to stop it, “Heh! Heh! Heh! AHHHH-HEH choo! Ah, Ah, Ah, AHH-HEHchoo!” He tried hard to hold his breath, fear of anymore incomming smoke. But it found its way, swirled and irritated. He was determined - "heh...heh...heh" But no use, "ah-HA-ah-HA-heh...eh-EH- EH....HEHCHOOOOOOO!" As if the sneezes were fighting to escape as much as he did to keep them in, the final one had a most great exhale...causing the smoke to flee and give him a chance to catch his breath.

It stopped, and when he had the courage to open his eyes, he simply shook his head as if nothing had happened. Then a quiet joy inside. And he laughed, “Wow…“ he rubbed his nose, “If that could’ve been written as an equation…!“ All the helpless force made him feel wonderful and released of all the knots inside. He was home and ready to work. All the frustration was gone, there was nothing but fun to take on. Forgetting the chimney (he’d save it for after another hard day), he walked outside and began to build. Oblivious to any of the passing neighbors who not only wondered why their neighbor seemed so stress relieved for once, but why his usually pale skin had become soot black.

[relative]

ohhhh myyy godddd

thank you for that!!!!

[relative]

oh wow i missed the top of your story. im the exact same way. im a complete germaphobe and dont particularly like sneezed.. but reading this... kills me.... (in a very good way)

::slaps sefl::

you should write more! a lot more!!

[chui]

yummy!!! wish i had a chimney right about now....

[queenie]

I'm the exact same way. No worries. *grins* Lovely story.

[Helzbelz]

Wow! Great story I lolled at the end

[silentdreamer789]

I'm the exact same way. No worries.

Me too. Glad I'm not the only one! This was great. Loved how he felt relaxed afterwards...

[Guest Quibby]

You just gave me a new favorite sneeze scenario, for the time being!

[billy]

Oh, wow! Thanks everyone for reading, and you're comments are all so nice. It's great to know i'm not alone about how i like sneezes. Anyway, this story just popped into my head the other day as I trying to think of a simple, but not compleatly ordinary situation where one would have a sneezing fit. Also I have a strange like for sneezes brought on so quickly by a great amount of some kind of cloud (smoke, dust, flour) and then those helpless and jerky build ups (but quick syllables or else it's kind of silly)..."Ah-Ha! Ha! Ahh..." And then you don't actually see the person sneeze, but from the other side of the wall or whatever, all you hear, "CHOOOO!" And you see a swirling cloud come out from the door or whatever because of the force of air released. I just think that's funny, when you imagine it on someone whose not a cartoon, which I did here. Anyway, more thanks for the encouragment. I have another idea for a story, this time for a female, though not with smoke or a chimney. We'll see. But until yesterday, I hadn't been on here in bit, so i'd like to check out a lot of other posts for a bit. It's more fun to read stuff by others as you don't know what's coming, and that's the great thing about sneezes. The lack of control...

[Guest chyna619]

I really liked your story , pls write more!!!!!!!!!

[Umeko]

........ omg.... that was dang hot!

thoes are my favorite types of sneezes mmm thanks doooo write more

[TeaParty]

omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!x10000000000

I read fics once in a blue moon, and this was just amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thx for writing sich a wonderful fic!

[Guest aguadragones]

Amazing story. Incredibly written.

[Tracy]

Well, crap. I'm usually not a fan of fiction but this was just brilliant.