Growing up with a fetish

[Kleeny]

I was thinking the other day about the origins of my fetish, and how I have coped with it since being a young boy. I also wondered how other people coped, growing up with a fetish they knew to be odd and that had to be kept secret.

I remember as far back as being 5 or 6 and being interesting in people blowing their noses, my mum always used to blow hers, but dad only rarely blew, and never carried a hankie. My brother was worse, he hated blowing/wiping his nose, hated tissues. The ony time he wiped his nose was when he got a cold and then he used to use my hankies.

I remember at primary school one of the teachers used to keep a box of tissues in her desk drawer and I always kept an eye on who went up there. I also knew I had a strange interest, and one that needed to be kept to myself.

Later on in high school my interests became more developed, as by that point I was masturbating and realised that noseblowing was a major turn on, but this also caused problems, as I coudn't understand why I liked something so unusual, and remember, this was before the internet, so I felt really quite isolated and unusual. Coupled with the fact that I had another major fetish, spanking, and that took my time up as well. The difference was I knew people could enjoy spanking as a sexual activity, but not noseblowing, and it wasn't until the internet came along that I realised I was not alone. Looking abck on it, the teenage years were pretty hard, as I was having a hard time at school, and having two fetishes, I hadn't even begun tho think about being gay at that point, that came much later.

It seems to me that fetishists fall into two catergories, the hard-wired ones, that grew up with a fetish from an early age, and those that get into fetishes later on in life, or are introduced to it. I also feel its a little easier for young people to come to terms with their fetishes, with the help of the 'net, certainly less isolated and weird.

Sorry if I am rambling, its 04.50 and I can't sleep, but just wanted to know how you coped, or are coping, with growing up with a fetish.

[honkmaster]

Kleeny I'm really glad you started this thread. I've thought about this a lot. I don't really have a way of coping with the fetish i try to enjoy but also keep it a secret.

[zneeze]

I don't have dual fetishes, nor am I gay, but I am in that stage where having a fetish is extremely hard to hide. That's why I love being with you guys at SFF, as well as K, the girl I told. It's never been easy, and sometimes I feel ready to tell anyone- GF, best friend, mom (eww)- but obviously I can't.

[cjblo]

Dear Kleeny,

Your story is like mine (though I'm not doubly "handicapped" and only go for the noseblowing), as you already know. It's always been a big secret, but as it is no issue in my relationship, it has lost the torturig quality it once had. Good to read other people's story.

Take care,

CJ.

[countless]

Yes, Kleeny, I recognise many aspects of your story. Call mine a sneeze/hankie/noseblow fetish...

And I have had it since childhood.

It is so good to have found some 'birds of a feather' on here, after many years of mental loneliness.

C

[Kleeny]

Its great to see your replies, thanks. I am glad I wasn't the only one who had a difficult time growing up feeling unusual and odd.

But hey, the internet is here, let's rejoice, and just feel quietly envious of todays teenagers who can realise they have a fetish, and can find others, without that isolating feeling.

Now, whose for group therapy?

[Guest comfort-muffin]

Hey. This is my first post on this forum.

I grew up with my fetish too (yes, I only have one - sneezing). I am 19 and have known properly for less than a year that I have this fetish. But I was always slightly awkward of people around me sneezing and as a child I was always too embarassed to blow my nose, although it isn't a big deal anymore and I don't even know if that's related. The thing is I had never really thought about fetishes much (don't know how many people do - those without internet access anyway). And before I was sexually mature I didn't understand why I felt awkward about people sneezing. I think I assumed that everybody else felt the same.

Anyway, before I realised my fetish my b/f told me that he had one and had all his life but tried to ignore it mostly. A couple of months later I was on the bus home and could hear someone having a sneezing fit. I knew I was getting excited and felt so weird. My b/f met me off the bus and I told him. He was very understanding and we accomodate each others fetishes.

Actually he kinda likes it when I induce sneezing because he imagines a little man on the end of the tissue point. One of his favourite things is when I pretend to put someone in there.

Oh, another thing. Even now I actually hate 'Bless you' It makes me cringe. I don't like it when people say it to me, in front of me to other people and I've never said it to anyone my whole life.

Thanks for listening

[Kleeny]

Welcome Comfort-Muffin, to the forum, and thanks for adding to this thread.

I was very young when I realised I had fetishes, or at least, I knew I had strange inclinations towards certain things, so to realise this when you're 19 must have been a revelation to you, and probably a welcome one. It would have answered all those niggling questions in your mind about the way you react to a person sneezing. I am very pleased that you've come to this realisation.

Also, well done on telling your b/f. It always a lot better for a relationship when the partner knows what you're into. I am a little confused about his fetish though, and why he tries to imagine a little man at the end of the tissue, I think I may have missed the point on that one

Anyway, thanks again for writing, and I hope you feel welcome here, and you will post lots more.

[Guest danky]

The first time I noticed it, I was about 6 years old. I was playing the computer game version of Disney's 101 Dalmations, at the part where you must cover the puppies in soot to sneak them past Cruella. Every time you puffed a puppy, or Cruella for that matter, they would sneeze. I sat there for hours playing that sceen, determined to puff all 101 of them, claiming it "made my bottom feel all wiggly!" That was a day that will stand out in my memories for the rest of my life. Before long, I started discovering ways to induce.

At the same time, all my friends were starting to talk about boys. How they were so cute, hot, or fine, but I just couldn't really see it. I figured I was still too young to feel that way about them. But I went on growing up, and it still didn't hit. It was strange, I fealt I ought to start being atracted to guys by then, but I just wasn't. To this day, despite having a deep love for my boyfriend, the fact that he is a man does not have any baring whatsoever on my feelings for him.

One day, when I was about 13, I got bold and started searching online for sneeze-related materials. I discovered the forum. But, I fealt too shy to really get into such a thing, so I dropped it for 7 years before recently coming back. Between then and now I've gotten a lot more confident in myself, and my fetish has fine-tuned itself to include sniffling, sneezing, running noses, yaoi, yuri, necks, and s/m elements.

Looking back, I guess this has meant a lot to me. It was my sexuality before I knew I had one. I am a bi (on the lesbian side) sneeze fetishist. That is a deep truth of me.

[Guest comfort-muffin]

Thanks for making me feel at home here!

Its nice to have people who understand that I can talk to. Sometimes I feel like I want to tell people I know about my fetish but am scared. I want them to say 'Hey! Me too!' Actually, in the past I have told a couple of friends and even though they didn't really understand because they didn't feel the same way, they didn't make me feel like a freak and afterwards, I think they just kinda forgot about it cos it never comes up in conversation. Except when I told my best friend Kenny from uni, who has always had a crush on me. His reply was 'You'd love me in the Summertime - I have hayfever.'

As for the little man, it's because my b/f is into giant woman and the thought of exploring their internal various orifices and being swallowed. Makes sense to me, it's just like domination on a different (slightly weirder level)

[Guest nose lover]

living with my fetish has actually been pretty easy...ive kept it under wraps. because i really didnt know what it was till last yr...and i really didnt pay attention to people blowing their nose until about 5 yrs ago when i had this girl in my class who was a honking noseblower(my fetish)...and everytime she'd go to blow her nose id get this feeling(if ya know what i mean)...and ever since then ive always been attracted to females honking when they blow their nose...just females...are there any females here that honk?

[Meowcat]

I too have had this fetish for as long as I can remember, and I even remember being "turned on" at as young as 5 years old... I have only been able to fully tell one person; my boyfriend. I have many fetishes related to sneezing, and sometimes I think it prevented me from developing a normal sexuality.. I tell my boyfriend that sneezing is like "the second sex." Haha! <3

[starpollen]

My first memory of the fetish is of "Puff the Magic Dragon" and the existence of the 'Living Sneezes.' (yum!) We lived in a 2 storey house and I would put in the tape and go upstairs to the balcony and... erm... *indugle* myself at 5 or 6 years old while on the wooden supports of the bannister.

It's odd how many of us noticed the fetish at such a young age. I - as a student of sociology - wonder at this seemingly wide-spread phenomenon while at the same time appreciating my non-individualism.

[Guest hankie master]

I have had a hankie fettish for as long as i can remember.I love watching ladies blowing there noes with hankies,it is the greatest thing to see it gets me going.Hankies all the way,male and especially female

:

[Kit R.]

Kleeny, I figure if everyone is telling their life story I SHOULD too. you know? :-)

When I was a kid (3 - 4 years of age) I had a fear of nose blows..... I don't know what it was, but it scared the absolute crap out of me. But as I progressed I began to notice them more and more.

As I got to middle school and puberty (giggity). I started feeling..... "aroused" when I heard a teacher or saw a female class mate blow her nose. I remember distinctly in middle school I had this teacher, For the sake of this message, we'll call her Mrs. E. Mrs. E had a very large rack and a decent face. Every Tuesday and Thursday from 3:45p - 5:30p I was tutored. It was GLORIOUS. She had the BEST noseblow I've ever seen. She always wore these low cut shirts and her...... endowment..... would jiggle everytime she sneezed. It was so Glorious, I thanked God for every allergy season, every sneeze, every tissue she used. It was like I was in heaven. Here I had Mrs. E a teacher, someone who was decent looking and kind who had these horrible colds and wore low cut shirts and..... now that I'm thinking about it, I bet she still teaches at that school.... I should go back and find out!

As highschool progressed I got deeper into the internet with this stuff. I found SFF a few years back but I didn't really utilize it until this year....... I wish I had found it, I felt like a total freak for like 3 years until I realized that I'm actually a good person, I just get turned on by different things.

With the ending of highschool and progression of college, I began to find more people were accepting of this fact. I've only told 7 people. All of them Female and all of them agreed to do video and stuff (NO! I will not post nor trade these videos. IF you ask me, I reserve the right to E-punch you in the face). They are very open girls and are still very open to this day..... I feel comfy around these girls they don't give me weird looks when they sneeze or blow their nose. See, I once told my girlfriend I had this fetish and she thought it was weird.... How could someone be turned on by that, she would ask me. Constantly asking...... It drove me insane. Eventually we broke up blah blah blah. But that's the only negative I've had from telling people.....

So then came a new part in my life. Living on campus. I moved out of my folks house and it made it easier to have girls come over and let me film them (the friends I told you about).... it also made it easier to discuss things with my other fetish-ites. I'm not the type of person to care what people think of me. So it makes telling certain people about my fetish easier then others. Like my girlfriends were big influences on how I look at my fetish.....

Now aside from that, I'm thinking of starting up a website. People find out how easy it is to make money off of something as simple as sneezing, they hop on the offer.... they really do.

So you could say that my fetish has been good to me. However I really have not opened up to many people. I've been very careful with who I tell...... That's how it shall remain...

Whew.... I think that's it....

All in all, I'm greatful for suh a wonderful resource as this.... I really am. I don't feel so alone in the world.

Peace

-Josh

[Kit R.]

On top of that.

We need to reiterate to our younger readers that just because we have this fetish doesn't mean we're bad or strange or any different then anyone else. I believe that this is key. I sure as heck needed it when I was a kid

[Monrovia]

All, interesting - and reassuring - to read a number of you sharing what first made you realise you had the fetish. Mine is quite particular, in that I love seeing attractive women using handkerchiefs, above all coloured ones. I use absolutely no handkerchiefs myself, except when I get the very occasional cold, and can't stand tissues. Whether that makes me more unusual, I don't know.

I first twigged my handkerchief fetish as a teenager, around the time I was getting sexually active. But it really remained quiescent until my "lightbulb moment" in my mid-20s. By then I was living with my partner and she was nothing to do with that moment. We were at a lunch drinks party and this slightly older (early 40s) but quite elegant lady, who was the wife of one of my colleagues, appeared in a short-sleeved white blouse with a beautiful pink/cerise handkerchief sticking prominently out of her left sleeve. She didn't use the hanky on that occasion, but I can remember that moment as clear as it was yesterday - soemthing went to off in my head and I was hooked! I saw the lady in question at a few functions thereafter in the following months and she invariably had a single coloured (mostly) or white (sometimes) handkerchief on her, either tucked up a sleeve, in a pocket or in use. Sadly we moved away after some time and I haven't seen her since, but I have no doubt she is still using them.

In the 20-plus years since, I've had many pleasurable moments though my fetish, not least because my partner took up using coloured handkerchiefs (she is very stylish and even went through a spell of matching hankies to to the colour of her clothes!) As a result I have been lucky, and at the same time been able to manage the fetish. I wish everyone else the same luck!

[bensonman]

living with my fetish has actually been pretty easy...ive kept it under wraps. because i really didnt know what it was till last yr...and i really didnt pay attention to people blowing their nose until about 5 yrs ago when i had this girl in my class who was a honking noseblower(my fetish)...and everytime she'd go to blow her nose id get this feeling(if ya know what i mean)...and ever since then ive always been attracted to females honking when they blow their nose...just females...are there any females here that honk?

i'm with you but my fetish started at age 12 in middle school a real quiet smart girl had a loud honking nose blow that's when i discovered that this could be a new fetish my 2 others are foot and hairy ***** fetish which i had all my life

[Natto]

Since we're all telling our stories, here's mine:

I was always obsessed with illness, ever since I was a little girl. I used to research diseases like meningitis and feel stupidly proud of myself for knowing what it was and what the symptoms were. My favorite episode of every TV show was the one where a character got sick, but I would always be too embarrassed to watch that episode. My sister and I had a roleplaying game (we still do), that focused heavily on illness as a plot device.

My father wasn't very good at communicating with children without lecturing, so many of our talks had to do with military history and viral pathology (one of his passions, and his job as a scientist). I wasn't very interesting in military history, but I hooked onto the virus talk, and thoes discussions got me even more interested. My parents got divorced when I was just hitting puberty and starting to become aware of sex. I didn't see my dad very often, and I wanted to hold onto my relationship with him. My desire to hold onto my memories of our discussions got twisted up with my sexual awakening. This is not the only reason I have the fetish, but it certainly encouraged it.

When I got a little older, I was openly obsessed with disease. Most of the important fictional characters in my writing had allergies or weak immune systems or both, and I became known among my friends for my obsession. This extended to all illnesses, but privately I was focused on colds and allergies. It got to the point where I couldn't even say the words connected to it without being embarrassed, and I convinced myself erroneously that sneezing was never a symptom of colds. I never told anyone my interest was sexual, I was barely aware of it myself until one day I was falling asleep and I had a half-awake dream that involved an elaborate description of a girl's cold--she was far sicker with it than anyone could reasonably be with a cold, and the worse the description made it sound, the better it was. It was extremely arousing, and I was greatly disturbed by that. I felt like a freak, so I wrote a journal entry about it and then proceeded to ignore it for a while. When I entered college I accidentally found Tarotgirl's site--and I was so embarrassed to have it on my computer screen that I pretty much knew I'd have to start accepting it. Telling my therapist (who said "do you want to get rid of it? you don't have to, it's actually pretty cool") and telling my fiance (who said "I don't really get it, but I love you and it doesn't matter and I won't ever tell anyone and if I do you can beat me up") helped a lot. Joining the forum and talking to a particularly wonderful member who shared a fandom with me helped more than anything.

[CarellFan]

I had forgotten all about this until now, but as a small child, I remember getting very excited whenever we were in the kleenex aisle at the supermarket... just the sight of all those boxes of kleenex and my association with sneezing, LOL!! My heart would race. I guess I always knew that my interest in sneezing was not typical, but I think I coped pretty well. I just didn't tell anybody. It didn't really bother me much, I guess, though I probably did go through some periods where I wished I didn't have the fetish. But they weren't too traumatic... it was basically that "why do I have to be so different?" kind of feeling. But I am am fine with it now and even embrace it.

[midnight in paris]

For me it was shopping in a department store as a child with my mother or grandparents and we'd walk past the displays of handkerchieves-especially womens'hankies on display "trees",or laying in a glass case and I would be going ga-ga inside-I wanted them all and I'd think of the flowered prints for weeks,but had no way to go and buy any--if anyone had known about my thoughts I'd have been embarrassed to death and beyond.I loved seeing a teacher take out a nice floral,especially with a dark background and covered with roses or other flowers,or a woman or older girl use one(and take her time too),maybe a long gurgly blow(or two,or three) and then not put it away right away,but keep it in her hand ,letting it dangle.Heaven.Dime stores had dozens of womens'handkerchieves and they were prominently displayed,sometimes half a counter full and I'd go casually past as many times as I dared, pretending to look at something else.Absolutely no one knew about all this but me and it was something that really made me feel I was strange in some way-only as an adult did it even begin to come into focus and perspective.