Cleaning Up Grimmauld Place

[Dusty15]

Part one of a two-part fic involving Harry and friends cleaning out Grimmauld Place...full of allergy wrongness This fic contains both M and F sneezes, by multiple characters. MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE LAST 2 BOOKS!

There will be a cold-fic eventually, also based on poll suggestions from before.

ENJOY!

By Dusty15

To say that Grimmauld Place was an allergy sufferer’s hell would be an understatement. In between the dust filled curtains, the moldy furniture, and the basement full of old potions ingredients, there was something for nearly everyone to sneeze at. It had remained empty since Harry, Hermione, and Ron left it in their search for the Horacruxes, and now that the war was over, it was time excavate it once and for all in hopes of turning it into a suitable home for Harry. Kreacher had moved with Harry to a small flat in the meantime while he made plans for the remodeling.

Hermione, Ron, George, Ginny, Bill, and Fleur had all volunteered to help in the renovations. They were gathered on the front steps of the house, anxious to get inside and begin tearing down the last of Mrs. Black’s horrible damask wallpaper. George and Bill had their sights set on smashing the hideous floral chaise in the library, and Hermione was convinced that she’d find some valuable potions ingredients while cleaning out the cellar. Harry was most eager to tackle the backyard, which was overgrown with weeds.

“Well, here we are,” he said, unlocking the front door and welcoming everyone inside. “We’ve got to get rid of most of this junk before we can even think about painting or anything. Shall we split into teams?”

“Bill and I will take the furniture,” George announced. “Anything in particular you want to keep?”

“Anything that isn’t hideous or full of mold,” Harry replied.

“I’ll handle the wallpaper,” said Ginny, flourishing her wand. “I’ve got a good spell that dad taught me.”

“And I’ll ‘elp,” said Fleur.

“I told you before that I’d take the basement,” Hermione declared, heading for the cellar door.

“Mum showed me how to deal with doxies in the drapes, so I’ll do those.”

“And I guess that leaves me with the yard,” said Harry. “Let’s get to it, then!”

With the house in the hands of his friends, Harry took up his wand and headed for the back garden. Thick vines and patches of weeds choked what looked as if it’d once been a lovely rose bush. The grass was long and unkempt and the veranda had a thick layer of leaves and pollen. With a groan of disgust, Harry waved his wand and began the work.

First was a quick shearing spell to cut the grass to length. The sweet smell of freshly-mowed lawn filled the early spring air. He moved on to sweeping away the leaves, the piles floating away with each flick of his wrist. A large cloud of dust and pollen grew as the weeds and grass clippings stirred up and floated into neat stacks. Harry felt his eyes begin to water and an itch growing in his nose. He rubbed at it furiously, but it only grew itchier and began to run steadily. He sniffed congestedly and turned his head as his breath hitched.

“Hehhh…Hah-TSCHiah!”

The sneeze escaped him loudly, leaving a visible spray in the air. He scratched at his nose again and fished in his pocket for a handkerchief. He couldn’t find one so he settled for a quick swipe on the sleeve of his shirt. He waved his wand again, trying to continue with the chores but the tickle grew stronger and he felt his nose begin to drip down onto his lip. His breath hitched again and this time he caught the sneeze in the crook of his arm.

“Gn'ktsch!”

He groaned and kicked at a pile of leaves in frustration. Perhaps someone inside would trade with him? He left the yard-work half finished and traipsed indoors. He found a tissue in the pocket of his jumper in the kitchen and blew his nose half-heartedly as he trotted down the stairs to the cellar.

Hermione was seated on the floor, surrounded by vials.

“Hey,” he said. “Pollen was getting to me out there. Figured I’d come see what you were up to.”

“Just sorting through these,” she said, gesturing to the containers. “I’ve been sorting by ingredient type and date. Those ones in the green crate are expired.”

“Got it,” said Harry, reaching for some bottles. He scanned the titles.

“Ugh, why did they have troll nails?” he asked, holding up a vial filled with thin, yellowish slivers.

“It’s in some hair-growth draughts, surprisingly,” said Hermione, examining a bottle of bees’ wings.

Harry tossed the vial into the “Magical Creature Product” pile and grabbed for another one.

“Powder of Crushed Flitterbloom blossoms,” Harry read. “Plants.”

He underhanded the vial towards the box of plant ingredients, but it missed, hitting the floor with a crash next to Hermione and sending a purple cloud of powder into the air.

Hermione’s face froze for a moment, twisted into a slightly confused look with her nostrils flared. Her eyelids fluttered wildly for a second and her mouth opened halfway, her breaths coming in short puffs.

“Heh'KSSCHUUH!”

She bent over at the waist, her hand flying towards her mouth as she sneezed delicately. She remained that way for a second, her hand clamped over her nose as she sighed a little moan of frustration at the itch in her nose.

“Et-sheww! Kssccheh”

“I’m sorry!” said Harry, panicking.

He dug in his pocket and retrieved his half-used tissue, offering it to her apologetically. Hermione took it and wiped at her now-dripping nose.

“Tha…thaa…”

She broke off, pressing the tissue to her nose as another sneeze came.

“Ha'tschu!”

“I think I’m going to go upstairs and let this stuff settle,” she said with a sniff. “Can you keep working on this and I’ll come back soon?”

“Sure,” said Harry sympathetically. “See if Ginny or Fleur needs help with the wallpaper.”

Hermione sniffed miserably.

“Okay, I’ll be back once this settles down,” she said, heading up the stairs.

She found Ginny and Fleur in the front hall, wands at the ready.

“Hey,” she said. “I took a break from the potions. Harry broke a vial of flower petals that drove my allergies crazy.”

“Hi,” said Ginny, looking up. “We’re just about to do the final test of this. We figured out the right spell but the trick is getting a good section charmed so it lets you peel it off.”

“Ah ha,” said Hermione. “Well, go for it.”

Ginny and Fleur outlined a strip of the wallpaper with their wands and the damask print glowed for a moment. Then, with a swift yank, they tore the strip off the wall, revealing an awful, rotted patch of drywall beneath it.

“Oh my,” said Fleur. “Dat iz disgusting!”

“Let’s do another,” said Hermione, pointing her wand at the wall. “Fleur, what’s the spell?”

Fleur demonstrated the wand movements required and together the two witches charmed the strip of paper. With a deft jump in the air, Ginny grabbed the top and tore down. They were just getting started on the next piece when Fleur noticed a strange look on Ginny’s face.

“Are you h’okay, Ginny?” she asked, concerned.

Ginny leaned against the opposite wall, breathing slowly.

“My chest feels a little tight,” she said with a small cough. “I think maybe the mold in the…hehh…..”

She broke off, her eyelashes fluttering. Her nose flared and wriggled and she pitched forward with a feminine “hitschooo!”

“A tes souheits!” said Fleur. “Are you…er, how do you say? Allergique?”

Ginny pressed at her nose and frowned.

“I must be!” she said miserably. “Hermione, it seems as if you brought it with you!”

Hermione laughed and patted Ginny on the shoulder as the younger girl sneezed two more times, soft and delicate “K'tschoo! K’tshept-chih!!”

“A tes souheits!” exclaimed Fleur again. “I think you better go ‘elp de boys before you get worse, no?”

“I guess,” said Ginny, swiping a finger under her running nose and then clapping her hands over her mouth to cough a few times. “I’ll leave you two to this then.”

She left the mold-ridden hallway and strode into the den where George and Bill were moving a couch. They set it on the far side of the room with a few other battered pieces of unwanted furniture.

“This is the last one,” George said, indicating the sofa. “You in for some destruction, Gin?”

“Sure,” said Ginny. “What are we doing?”

“Eh, we figured we’d have a bit of fun smashing these up before we shrink them down and trash them,” said Bill. “How good are you with explosion spells?”

Ginny laughed. “Not as good as you two.”

“On my ready,” said George. “One, two, three, GO!”

They all sent destructive spells at the various bits of furniture. The sofa exploded, sending a huge cloud of dust and down feathers from its pillows into the room. For a moment, the air hung thick in the aftermath of the explosion and Ginny blinked, trying to clear the dust from her eyes. Among the fog and the settling debris, she heard a desperate little moan of frustration and agony.

Bill was next to her, bent at the waist with his breath hitching so quickly and erratically that at first Ginny thought he was silently laughing. It was then that she remembered how terribly allergic to dust Bill was. Even if the mold had been bothersome to her, she couldn’t imagine what dust did to Bill.

It was mere seconds later that he began to sneeze…

[froglatte]

Ohhh, fun story with all kinds of lovely sneezing! I can't wait for the next installment!

*wonders if Snape might be dropping in?*

[Lynne]

hehe I like the musical chair-type allergic reactions Very creative!

[March Hare]

Oooh, great idea And well-executed, too! Rawr, I can just see them all in that filthy old house, each and every one of them exposed to allergens... ooooh yum...

I wonder what George is allergic to?

[Coral]

I wonder what George is allergic to?

Yeah, me too! It won't be the same though, after what Rowling did to Fred... Seriously, that still annoys me today

(And did she have to take the one who actually HAD both ears?!!! Geeh)

Oh, well! Nice fic - wan't mooooore

Good idea with the old dusty house.. when I read the books I really hoped that something would happen in that house!!! Rowling had tons of brilliant occasions to make her characters a bit sneezy, but well... luckily we can spice up her story a bit for her

[Lynne]

Coral, careful... that's a bit more overt of a spoiler than the story was

[silentdreamer789]

Brilliant! Everyone's getting their fair share of sneezes...looking forward to more...

[chui]

oh YUMMY!!!!!! love me some Weasley boys!!! cant wait for part two!!!!

[Always]

Great job

can't wait for a few sneezes from that one Weasly boy helping with the couches *nudge,nudge*

[TheCakeIsAlive]

You can't leave it there!

Very awesome story! Indeed, there were a few moments in the books where I had expected a sneeze to happen at Grimmauld Place, but Rowling just *had* to be a spoilsport. Haha. I love how you let them all change work spaces due to their allergies, just to witness the next sufferer. Yeah, I'm evil. Though I do hope you might continue this story one day (but since I just noticed the thread is from 2008, I can completely understand it if you don't).

[count tiszula]

I remember really enjoying this when it first appeared but for some reasom I don't seem to have commented.

I agree with everyone; several Grimmauld Place scenes are just longing for a sneeze, and this is a wonderful idea with scenes for everyone including the girls. What a pity it never got finished, I assume..... I can't help thinking that the finale would have been some really magical sneezes caused by some malign force.

[greenwave9]

amazing! and this was even better after I read it will envisioning it with the cast of a very potter musical instead..bonnie and darren sneezing =O i must see that..

[Dusty15]

Haha thanks all! I'd forgotten about this fic! When I've got

some time soon, I'll look into finishing it

[snifflechick]

OMG! <3

I know this is pretty old, but OMG!!!!

Luvsss it. Wish it didn't cut off with Bill though... He's my favourite.