The Limits of Bruce Wayne

[Dusty15]

A ficlet inspired by the line in "The Dark Knight" about Batman knowing his limits. No spoilers here! Enjoy a sneezy Batman, even if you haven't seen the movies. FYI, the Tumbler is his Bat Mobile in the new films.

By Dusty15

Bruce stumbled out of the Tumbler and into the damp, underground cave where he kept the majority of the technology he used as Batman. The evening had been one mess after another. After a summons from Lt. Gordon to investigate a suspected illegal trading ring near the docks, he’d gone to survey the area on a tip that several packages were being handed off tonight. Despite the urgency of getting to the docks on the night that the big trade occurred, Bruce had contemplated skipping it altogether. He’d been feeling off for days and when the time came for work, he felt downright awful. But, he’d forced himself to don the Batsuit and go do his job.

The thugs turned out to be easy work, but by the time he’d taken them into custody and handed them off to police, he was feeling ready to collapse. Waiving off an anxious Gordon, he’d sped off in the Tumbler, eager to get back and get to bed.

Alfred was waiting when the car door opened and he accepted the Batman mask from Bruce, setting it into the case where it was stored.

“Everything go alright, sir?” he asked.

“Mhm,” Bruce confirmed, peeling off a layer of armor and tossing his gloves on the table. “Just like Gordon said. The group of them was right there.”

“Excellent,” Alfred replied, lifting the chest plate that Bruce handed over and placing it on its storage rack. “Feeling better? You said yesterday that you were feeling a bit peaky.”

“No,” sighed Bruce. “Worse.”

As if to demonstrate, he coughed mightily and clutched at his chest.

“That doesn’t sound good at all, Master Wayne,” said Alfred, moving to his charge’s side. “Best get you back to the Penthouse. Shall I drive the town car?”

“I think that’d be best,” said Bruce, sniffling a little. “Have you got a jacket of mine around here? I’m freezing.”

Alfred retrieved a trench coat from a nearby closet and held it out for Bruce to put on. Then, he led the way out of the underground headquarters and up to the street where the town car waited.

“In you go,” he said, holding the door open for a sniffling Bruce, who collapsed into the back seat with a few hoarse coughs.

“Shall I make a bit of tea when we get back?” Alfred asked, pulling out of the storage lot and headed for the Wayne penthouse. “Might help ease things up a bit.”

“Sure,” Bruce replied.

Alfred glanced in the rearview mirror to spot him with his forehead on the window, fogging up the cold glass.

“Then straight to bed,” he added. “I fear this is one of those times when Batman has limits.”

“I can go tonight,” Bruce said, swiping a finger under his running nose.

“I don’t believe that’s in your best interest, Master Wayne,” Alfred said, turning down the main street of Gotham on the way to the Penthouse.

“Gotham needs me and…an…hehhh…”

Bruce broke off, his nostrils flaring and his breath hitching a little. He squeezed his eyes shut and sneezed a masculine HhTSCHIEW! into his fist.

“That settles it,” said Alfred, looking sternly at him in the rearview mirror. He dug into the pocket of his jacket and retrieved a fresh handkerchief, handing it over the seat to the young billionaire.

“Thanks,” Bruce said congestedly, accepting the cloth and dabbing at his nose. He then folded it in half and gave several gurgling, thick blows which led into several more hoarse coughs.

“Here we are,” said Alfred, turning into the garage under the building and pulling up next to the elevator that led to the Penthouse. “You go on up and get settled while I park.”

Bruce nodded and exited the car, the handkerchief in hand and ready to be used again. Not a moment later as the elevator sped up the 60 flights and the pressure changed, he felt a tinge in his sinuses and then he sneezed several more times. Ngtsch! Hgk'TSCH! H'mpsh!

With a sigh of weariness and frustration, he shuffled into his apartment and went immediately to the bedroom, digging in his wardrobe for a pair of proper pajamas. He found some navy blue silk ones with his family monogram and shed his polo and trousers for the more comfortable and warm sleep clothes.

A knock on the door announced the arrival of Alfred.

“Come in,” said Bruce, sitting down on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands.

“Ah, good,” said Alfred at the sight of him. “I was going to suggest those pajamas. Now into bed with you.”

He turned down the heavy down comforters and the Egyptian cotton sheets, and Bruce slid his legs under and settled into the several fluffy pillows.

“Shall I fetch the tea then?” said Alfred.

“I think some Asprin would be more effective,” Bruce replied weakly. He still clutched the now-damp handkerchief.

“And some fresh tissues,” Alfred added.

“Yes.”

“Straight away.”

He left the ailing Bruce to lounge in bed. Pounding the pillows with his fists, Bruce tried to find a comfortable position, but his muscles were sore from the fight with the thugs and on top of it was this ruddy cold. He felt himself shiver, which he noted as odd because he was tucked under several layers of blankets.

“Here we are,” said Alfred, returning with a stack of fresh handkerchiefs and a glass of water accompanied by several assorted pills.

Bruce set the pills aside and accepted a fresh handkerchief more eagerly. A brief look of hesitation lingered on his face and then was quickly replaced with the pained look of a sneeze. Hh'Kxsch!

He caught the wet, spraying sneeze in the handkerchief and sniffled miserably.

“Master Wayne,” said Alfred sympathetically. “You are a right mess.”

Bruce took the handful of pills and tossed them to the back of his throat, following them with a gulp of water.

“Feel like a right mess, Alfred,” he confessed, sinking back into the pillows and closing his eyes. A few coughs escaped him and he jerked and shifted under the blankets as the spasms wracked his chest.

“I’ll leave you to rest, then,” said Alfred. “I’ll be nearby if you need anything.”

He shut the door to the master bedroom, leaving Bruce huddled beneath the covers, anticipating several more sneezes.

H’tschii! T’shchoo! T’shoo!

His nose began to run steadily and he blew into another handkerchief, nearly soaking it.

Tossing and turning, he tried to sleep but his body alternated between hot and cold so rapidly that he found it impossible to get comfortable. His nose ached as it began to turn chapped and raw, and his chest felt tight and congested.

“Alfred?” he called out. He was surprised at how weak it sounded.

The door opened and Alfred rushed in.

“Yes, sir?”

“Maybe tea is a good idea,” he said, propping himself up on the pillows a little.

“Straight away.”

Alfred returned not much later with a steaming cup of lemon and honey tea. Bruce held it in both hands, breathing in the hot, moist air that rose from the cup. His chest loosened a little and he felt some of the congestion in his nose clear briefly. He took a tentative sip and smiled a little as the warm liquid soothed his aching throat.

“Alright, sir?” asked Alfred.

“Perfect,” Bruce confirmed. He took a few more sips of the warm drink and set it aside on the nightstand. “I think I’ll try to sleep again.”

Alfred nodded.

“Shall I light the hearth?” he asked, indicating the electric fireplace that stood on one wall of the massive bedroom.

“That’d be nice,” Bruce said.

Alfred pressed the starter and soon the room filled with a warm orange glow.

“Sleep well, Master Wayne,” said Alfred, closing the door behind him.

Bruce slid down under the blankets again, soothed by the tea and the crackling fire. Not before long, he’d drifted into a deep sleep, exhausted from the day’s events. When Alfred poked his head in several hours later, he found a rather innocent and young-seeming billionaire, curled up around a pillow with his hair amiss and his nose tinged pink. Gotham would have to deal without Batman for one night, he figured. Bruce Wayne certainly wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon.

[allergyboy2001]

Excellent!

[Guest chyna619]

Wonderful. The movie is awesome & Christian Bale is HOTTTTTTTT. RIP Heath Ledger-he also rocks in movie

[silentdreamer789]

Brilliant! I can just picture this; you got the characters brilliantly. And I loved all the wet sneezes and blows.

[Bongo]

I saw Dark Knight, read this, and then saw Dark Knight again today. And the entire time this was in my head and I was just like "Batman....sneezing....hotness....." the entire time.

This was supurb. Picture me clapping ala Joker. The characterization was spot on, and it was just a pleasant fic. Thank you for sharing it with us.

[Coral]

Brilliant! So hot without being icky.. Quite in the spirit of the new movie's univers, you made it seem very realistic

(Noticed you wrote Albert instead of Alfred a few times?)

Thankyou for a short but good story, the last couple of lines were absolutely lovely - I personally think another chapter would spoil it.

[Dusty15]

(Noticed you wrote Albert instead of Alfred a few times?)

Hahah oops! Edited it to fix. DUH

[Guest LoraLee]

this is awwsome.

[evil_addictions]

[angora48]

Oh my goodness - salivation city! Soooo good - I love Christian Bale, and I love sick superheroes! Brava!

[Orionbob]

Thanks for writing this. The ending especially was so cute - I love Alfred's description of him.