Paranoid, need advice fast!

[Secret98]

Ok, if anyone reads my profile, you may know that I know take Uechi Ryu Karate. Well I have a problem. I am afraid of my sensei sneezing. Like petrified (If you remember me then you know I have had anxiety attacks from people sneezing). I do not want that to happen, it would be very embarrassing, and then I'd be to embarrassed to return, and I love Uechi Ryu. I'm going to tell my therapist, but there is only so much that can be done in one therapy session. Anyone have any advice?

Also funny story (no sneezing in it): My sensei was trying to show me how sensitive noses are to being hit. So he comes behind be and presses his finger under my nose to show me how sensitive the nose. Then he said you can do that to me, and I said, "no I don't want to" and he said "what you have a problem with noses?" we laughed. I tried to look normal. My problem is I always picture myself playing with an SO's nose as a sexual thing. So to me touching his nose was almost disturbing, and I'm afraid of making him sneeze. I thought it was funny, though. You knid of needed to be there and in my head to understand, I think.

[Guest danky]

Well, I can't really give you any useful advice, but I can relate at least. I took a bit of judo a year ago, and our sifu said something one day that really moved me, but for a really private reason. He sort of honed in on me after that, as though he sensed that it had hit me someplace deep. I tried to tell him without giving away too much, but I just wound up talking in circles and struggling not to cry. It fealt really awkward to have this strong, sensitive man trying to comfort me (I have issues with being comforted, I tend to snowball), and I guess I sort of developed a bit of a crush on him after that. I don't know if I could continue my studies under him again or not! I would like it alot, and he's an excellent sifu, but at the same time there's this shyness now that keeps me at a distance.

[Secret98]

I've been denying this to myself, but I think I kind of like my sensei To thee point were I won't read what I just typed. He is much older than I am, 57, and I'm 20. He's married. Anyways, I'm still very afraid he will sneeze. Almost to a bad point. I woke up in the middle of the night with sudden fear he will sneeze, and I will have an anxiety attack and never be able to return to doing something I really love to do.

[Guest danky]

It sounds like you could have an attack just worrying about it happening! You're focusing on this way too much. You recognise that, right? You already have a serious fear of this happening, you don't need to make it any worse by dreading it and letting that fear build up into a life-controling panic, especially when it hasn't even happened yet. I seriously know what you're going through, panic atacks suck. They suck when they happen, they suck for days after they happen, and they continue sucking every time you remember them and what caused them. And they suck even more when no one is there to comfort you, not even the person you count on for comfort. It's hard sh**. The thing is, there's nothing you can really do to keep your sensei from eventually sneezing. So the best thing you can do is hope he won't, and accept that he might. I know that's not as calm or easy as it sounds. It's not a 1-step solution. It's damage controll, and that's the bitter truth. Just do what you can not to let it get any stronger. That will at least mean a milder attack than it could have been, and that will be easier to come back from. You CAN keep some controll over this, and even if it's not a lot, every little bit helps.

I'm rooting for you back here. Ganbate!

Be Blessed.

[chui]

aw hon, im sorry you have to go through this. i've been in the martial arts for about 6 years now, and while im not sneeze-phobic, i can see how it could be incredibly uncomfortable for you. (im a snot-phobe and i flail when the guys blow their noses during practice) so..i have at least some idea of how rough this is...

my only real suggestion would be to try and distance the two things in your mind. That being, your martial arts, and your sneeze phobia. if you linger on thoughts about it, it will only cause you continued anxiety, and only build it up worse in your mind. that can detract from any enjoyment you have in your karate. now, im not a therapist, and never claim to be as knowledgeable as they are.... so of cours,e i would recommend talking to a professional and seeing what they have to say, but it appears to me that the root of all this anxiety, and the heart of your problem, is your phobia. i think if you can slowly come to grips with it, then you might be able to better handle this situation.

the way i see it, you have a phobia, and its a relatively common source. sneezing is something that we all encounter, and something that is somewhat difficult to avoid. now, there are many different opinions on how to face/deal with phobias.... i tend to try and overcome them by facing them... and for me...its easier to face them in a place/situation i am comfortable. i have gotten much better with my snot phobia, by forcing myself to face it during my martial arts. i am at home there... i am relaxed, confident and secure....and somehow, i know in that place, even my phobia cannot harm me... it helps me to look beyond the most irrational aspects of the phobia, and see it with a milder level of fear. i can handle discomfort and mild fear... i cant handle full force phobia... and for me, judo helped me reach that place.

of course, these are just my thoughts.... i do hope that you can reach some level of acceptance with this phobia...i hate to see other people suffering at the hands of them...

[count tiszula]

The thing is, DL, you're not frightened of sneezes; you like them. What you're frightened of is your reaction to them. Yet from your earlier obsides, you have been able to enjoy them at times, even from male friends.

If only you could get used to the idea so that you wouldn't panic every time you actually enjoy them.

I don't know; perhaps if you listened to some .wavs you could get used to the idea of enjoying a lovely male sneeze. Then you could work up to YouTube... and the world is your oyster.

[aquadyne14]

The thing is, DL, you're not frightened of sneezes; you like them. What you're frightened of is your reaction to them. Yet from your earlier obsides, you have been able to enjoy them at times, even from male friends.

If only you could get used to the idea so that you wouldn't panic every time you actually enjoy them.

I don't know; perhaps if you listened to some .wavs you could get used to the idea of enjoying a lovely male sneeze. Then you could work up to YouTube... and the world is your oyster.

Ya, I'd have to agree with count de tisza here - start trying to desensitize yourself to the sneezes, gradually increasing your exposure over time as you get comfortable. then like cdt says - its all fun from there! just try not to be too hard on yourself - a phobia isn't something you develop overnight so don't pressure yourself to be rid of it that fast either. Good luck and take care!

[Secret98]

The thing is, DL, you're not frightened of sneezes; you like them. What you're frightened of is your reaction to them. Yet from your earlier obsides, you have been able to enjoy them at times, even from male friends.

If only you could get used to the idea so that you wouldn't panic every time you actually enjoy them.

I don't know; perhaps if you listened to some .wavs you could get used to the idea of enjoying a lovely male sneeze. Then you could work up to YouTube... and the world is your oyster.

I am afraid of sneezes. Seriously. I enjoy them and am afraid of them (for reasons of something that happened to me, will not discuss this here). I have a real sneeze phobia, and for some reason the fetish stayed, I don't know why, but it makes it easier in the long run to get over the fear. I also to afraid to listen to wav.s. I change the channel everytime someone sneezes, my friend even changes the channel for me. I fist step to get over the fear is to do sanchin during an episode that has sneezing in it. Also my fear has gotten much better since I joined the forum

I talked to a professional on this. I finally said about my fetish and phobia. I asked her if I could get rid of the fetish. If I do get rid of the fetish I keep the fear. So the fetish is actually good for the fear to some extent.

Also, I spent a long time waking up in the middle of the night for fear of this. The thing is I went to my friend T's house and admitted to her that I have a crush on my sensei, then did the same thing to my friend J. After that the fear almost vanished I went to class I shook when I saw him (do not know why I do that, I always did that when I saw a crush).

[resolution]

Get a little old man for a karate instructor.

[Secret98]

Get a little old man for a karate instructor.

He is 57, how I ended up with a crush on him I don't know. I was afraid of him sneezing before I had a crush on him. Oh well, maybe if I get a girl for a sensei instead I'll be fine,