A Fairytale: The Grown-up Version (m)

[randomguy]

Okay, so, I wrote a fantasy story about a changeling boy and a fairy girl for a class project. It didn't involve any sneezing, but the whole time I was writing it, I kept thinking about how much cuter it would be if it did. So I modified my story to include some sneezing, though the story doesn't even come close to being centered around it. There's a little bit of female, but it's mostly male, though the male sneezes are kind girly. It's really long, somewhere around eight pages. It doesn't have a happy ending, though I could add one in if there's enough interest. I'm not entirely sure of whether posting it is a good idea, just because it's so long and most of it is just story, not sneezing. What do you think? Should I post it? If I do, should it be all at once or should I do it in intervals? Please let me know!

[krazykat]

First of all a traditional fairytale does not have a happy ending so do not on any account disney-fie!

At the end of the day, it's up to you whether or not you want to post it in one go or carve it up into parts but I'm sure that I'm not the only one who would be interested in reading it

[queenie]

I'd read it... in bits or all at once... I love fairy stories.

[randomguy]

Okay, really I should have made it clear that it's not exactly a story, it's really more of a long scene. Also, it's not written like a traditional fairy tale, it's written in a contemporary style. Anyway, I'm just gonna post the whole thing. Be sure to read the Author's Notes section because some of it won't make sense to you if you don't. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!

Title: A Fairy Tale: The Grown-Up Version

Orginal

Summmary: A fairy and a changeling have a long talk, revealing some hidden emotions in the process.

Authors Notes: A few things you need to know before you read the story:

1. A changeling is a child who is stolen from his home at a young age and stuck in time so that, even after many years, he looks he still looks as young as he did when he was kidnapped.
   
2. There is a piece of folklore that says that if you sneeze and somebody blesses you, you have to clap three times or a fairy dies.
   

Silence had long since settled in the forest. Starlight twinkled above the tops of the trees, and their leaves whispered lightly as the wind swept through them, moving on its way. Hush. All was calm. A soft light, a subtle gleam. The fairy’s wings beat twice and then stopped, and she settled lightly on the grass without making a sound. Her eyes swept the muted surroundings, searching, seeking. She took a few tentative steps, leaving no footprints, no sign that she had ever existed, so light on her feet that it was almost as though she was floating. Still her deep brown eyes flicked calmly back and forth, looking for a sign. They fell on a small huddle of bushes sitting there innocently, as if their only purpose was to remain inconspicuous, unnoticeable, blended in. A thin smile creased her lips, and she moved on tiptoe to the bushes, making no more noise than a feather touching the ground. The branches parted easily at her touch, bowing as if in silent respect. The small, blonde-haired boy sat up suddenly, startled. The fairy grinned.

“I thought I might find you here, Oren.”

The boy sighed. “Alyana...”

“Why aren’t you with the rest of the changelings?”

Oren laced his fingers behind his head and lay back down on the grass, looking up at the stars.

“Just... thinking.”

“About what?”

Oren shrugged. “Lots of things.”

Alyana tucked her wings behind her and lay down next to him softly.

“Mind if I join you?”

Oren smiled a little. “No.”

Alyana took in a deep breath and let it out, feeling as though she was exhaling the day’s stresses and troubles with it. Her hand began to caress the grass gently as she looked up into the night sky. Oren looked down at the earth near her hand, where she had absentmindedly caused a flower to grow. He smiled. “Pretty.” She looked down at the flower, smiled, and handed it to him. He twirled it in his fingers, examining its beauty.

“Can I try?”

“Go ahead.”

He placed his hands on the ground and closed his eyes, allowing his magic to connect with the Earth’s. At first, nothing. Then, slowly, a small green stem began to work its way through the dirt, blooming at last into a small yellow daffodil. The boy opened his eyes, a little breathless from the effort. Alyana grinned. “Not bad,” she said, “For a changeling.” Oren smiled and pushed her shoulder playfully. Alyana clicked her fingers and the stalk of cattails next to Oren bent of its own accord and hit him lightly on the nose.

“Ow!” exclaimed Oren softly. “What was that for?”

Alyana smiled. “Payback,” She said jokingly.

“Y-yeah, but why d-did it have to be c-c-cattails?” he asked, rubbing his nose.

Alyana cocked her head questioningly. “What’s wrong with cattails?”

Oren rubbed his nose a little harder. “Nothing, I j-just… they’re…”

“Come on, Oren, say it”

“I… I’m kind of… allergic.”

Alyana’s eyes widened. “You’re allergic to cattails?”

“A- little…”

“Oh… oops…”

Oren took a deep breath and closed his pale blue eyes. He paused for a moment, like he was waiting for something to happen. Then he exhaled deeply and rubbed his nose again. Alyana’s expression turned to one of concern. “Are you okay?” she asked, the worry in her voice becoming clearer. Oren smiled gently and kept rubbing his nose. “I’m fine. I just… this tickle…” His eyes closed again and his head tilted back. “Heh…”

His head jerked forward gently. “heh-itschoo!” he sneezed softly. His eyes fluttered open gently and he smiled weakly at Alyana, who gave a nervous smile back. “Th- that’s it?” she asked hopefully. Oren closed his eyes lightly, bit his upper lip, and shook his head. He loosely pressed his finger beneath his nose.

“Oh, geez, Oren, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you…”

“It’s… alright…” Oren interrupted, his breath starting to hitch. “You… d-didn’t… you dih… ih… ih-tscheeo!” he sneezed again. He sniffled a little bit and smiled again, his blue eyes starting to get a little watery. “You didn’t know.”

“I… I really didn’t mean to.”

Oren pressed his fist firmly beneath his nose. “It’s not a big deal, really… it’s just… just a few sn… sneeh... eh…”

“Oh, geez,” Alyana moaned, dropping her head into her hands.”

“I’m s… I’m sorry,” cried Oren softly, then his eyelids closed again. “Heh… hitschoo! tscheeo! Tsch… tscheeoo! itsch-chioo! het-cheoo!”

“Oh no,” moaned Alyana, “I broke him.”

Oren couldn’t hear her, and he continued sneezing.

“heh-tchoo! tsch! Eh…”

He hesitated for a moment, eyes closed softly.

“Heh… itschoo! tscheeoo!”

He took a deep breath and leaned back a little. A few moments passed in silence, then he breathed out and opened his eyes. He smiled, his clear blue eyes glittering, and rubbed his nose. “It’s just a few sneezes.”

Alyana smiled apologetically. “Bless you.”

Oren returned her smile. “Thanks.”

Alyana’s eyes suddenly grew wide, and her whole face looked horrified.

“What’s wrong?” asked Oren, concerned.

“OREN!!” screamed Alyana, her voice panicked. Oren’s eyes got huge and he quickly clapped three times. Alyana sighed with relief. “Sorry,” said Oren, “I’m so so sorry. I forgot. I’m so sorry.” Alyana sighed again. “No, Oren, I’m the one that should be sorry. I can’t believe I hit you in the nose with something you’re allergic to. I feel awful.”

“No, Alyana, really, it’s okay, I just…” His voice trailed off, his eyes closed again and he breathed in lightly. “atschi!” he sneezed softly. Alyana giggled a little, then covered her mouth as if she could take it back. Oren looked at her, confused. “What’s so funny?”

Alyana giggled again. “I’m sorry, I just… you…” her cheeks began to turn a little pink. “You just…” She giggled hard, unable to hold it in anymore. “You sneeze so cute!” Oren blushed with embarrassment and at the sound of her giggles and turned his head as if it would hide his feelings.

“I can’t help it. It’s just how I sound.”

“Why are you trying to apologize? It’s adorable!”

Oren blushed a little harder. “It’s just… it’s how I…”

“You sneeze like a little boy!”

“Well… I am a little boy, on the outside.”

“I know, but…” Alyana squeezed her eyes shut and giggled again. “atschi!” she imitated his sneeze and started laughing even harder. Finally, she looked up at Oren, her striking brown eyes shining. “You can be so adorable, Oren,” she said with a smile. Oren bit his lip to keep from smiling and looked at the ground. Alyana sighed, smiled a little, and clenched her hand into a fist. Oren drew back a little. “Alyana… wh… what are you doing?” Alyana shrugged. “I don’t know… I guess I just figured… I owe you.” She opened her fist, and her hand was filled with soft pink petals. Oren looked up, a little startled.

“No, Alyana, you don’t have to.”

“I know,” she said as she raised the petals to her nose, her enticingly cryptic smile still spanning her face. “I want to.”

She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. Her nose wrinkled cutely and she took a quick shallow breath. “hitschoo!” she sneezed girlishly, blowing the petals out of her hand. They fluttered trough the air, landing softly on the ground. “Eh,” said Alyana smiling and rubbing her nose, “Wow, that tickles. eh-tch!” she sneezed again. When she lowered her hand, her nose had turned a little pink, giving her entire complexion something of a rosy glow. Oren smiled. “Bless y…” he caught himself before he finished the sentence. “I mean… um…” he looked at the ground, blushing a little. “Verisn irvsk,” he said in a soft, lilting tone. Alyana tilted her head curiously.

“What does that mean?”

“It… it means bless you, but… but in another language.”

Alyana smiled, intrigued. “What language?”

“I… I don’t wanna say… it’s kind of embarrassing…”

“Come on, Oren, out with it.”

Oren sighed. “Butterfly”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I… I kinda… speak butterfly.”

Alyana stared at him for a moment, dumbstruck. The she smiled. “Oren, sometimes I wonder if you know just how cute you really are.” Oren looked up and smiled faintly. “Thanks.” Alyana giggled and lay her head back down. Oren closed his eyes and tried not to focus on her soft, musical laughter. Alyana caught the subtle look of sadness on his face and her expression changed to one of concern. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Oren’s eyes flew open.

“N- Nothing, I just...”

“What is it? You can tell me.”

“No, no, I’m fine. Really.”

Alyana put on her cutest face.

“Pwease?” she asked in an endearingly childlike voice.

Oren couldn’t help but smile, and he turned away in an attempt to stop the tickling feeling that was growing inside him. He wanted more than anything to reveal what was troubling him. But he couldn’t.

“It’s just that… I was thinking about my family,” he said, the bitter lie stinging on his lips.

Alyana nodded, believing her friend. She had always wondered what it must be like for a changeling. She couldn’t imagine being taken from her family at such a young age. She put her arm tenderly around Oren, who closed his eyes again.

“Do you remember anything about them?” she asked.

“A... a little. I remember…”

He scrunched up his face, thinking. Alyana squeezed him a little tighter, and the memories came flooding back.

“A woman… with black hair. She was…” He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “My mother. She was my mother.”

Alyana’s smiled widened. “What do you remember about her?” Oren shook his head. “Not much. Just… the way she used to tuck me in at night, and…” He sat up and hugged his knees to his chest. “How we’d sometimes stay up at night and look at the stars.” Alyana sat up next to him, that enigmatic smile still spanning her face. “You mean like we’re doing now?” Oren looked at her, then turned away to hide his reddening cheeks. “Yeah. Like now.” Alyana sighed and laid a hand tenderly on his shoulder. “They sure are beautiful,” she said softly. Oren pushed her hand off his shoulder gently. “Yes, they are.” A quizzical look filled Alyana’s face for a moment, and then her familiar smile returned. “I... I should go.” Oren looked at the ground and nodded. “If you have to.” The quizzical look returned to her face. She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and stood up, her wings unfolding behind her. “Well... goodbye then,” she said, a barely perceptible note of sadness in her voice. Oren looked up at her, his eyes glimmering softly. “Goodbye.” She smiled again, then leapt gracefully into the air, her wings glittering a little as she flew off into the night in an elegant spiral before disappearing in a soft glow of light. Oren sighed, wiped away the tear that had rolled down his cheek, and lay back down in the grass.

[randomguy]

Please tell me what you thought. Even if you hated it, I really want to know!

[snuffles]

Wow that's just... so... weird! I don't mean your story, I mean I ALSO just wrote a fairy story lol but yours is MUCH better Heh heh I don't want to post mine now though.

Yours is a very cute story! I didn't understand that "bless you" part at first and had to re-read it, but I think I got it know! I only vaguely remember that "bless you" thing now that you've mentioned it. I think I first heard it in Peter Pan, but wow that was so long ago!

The way the story flows just feels so natural and cute as if the sneezes were meant to be! I'm having a difficult time imagining what your story even could be like without it! Anyways great job!

edit: Check my avatar too LOL! I think we are just naturally on the same wavelength

[randomguy]

Thank you so much! This is the first story I've posted here, so I was really nervous people weren't going to like it. I actually think that the "bless you" think came from the movie "Hook." That's what the person I picked it up from said. (Yes, I do it in real life) It was part of folklore long before that movie, though. I didn't expect anybody to know it, that's why I put it in the notes section. Anyway, I'm really glad you liked it, and please don't be embarassed to post yours because I wanna read it!

[twinkies690]

I really liked it. Thought it was adorable