"True Blood" Drabble - (m)

[Garnet]

Alright, I guess it's a little more than a drabble, but yeah it's quick anyway. So Kisa and I have been watching the new vampire series on HBO, "True Blood", and giggling like idiots over SOUTHERN HICK VAMPIRES heck yeah! Or in the case of one of the male leads, undead southern gentleman soldier vampires. Hot.

Anyway, mild spoilers for tonight's episode, I guess. There was mention in one of the production interviews/clips that vampires in the series sneeze around garlic, and yes there's garlic dispensed in this character's presence in the episode. But does he wrong? Nooo, just a little nose twitch. JKHJSDHSD.

So screw them, I fixed it Enjoy! And beware the lack of proofreading.

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The back door of the church creaked shut behind him, exchanging the stifling heat of the kitchen and reception hall for the fresh night air. Had he any need to breathe, Bill would have exhaled a relieved sigh. It wasn’t cooler by much, but at least out here there was some ventilation. There was the smell of wet grass and earth and somebody having a bonfire a few miles off, but not the muddled, heady scents of old women’s perfumes and sweat and fear and blood.

And garlic. It hadn’t really bothered him at first, nothing more than a slight odor in the atmosphere of the crowded church that had been his nose twitch a bit. Just enough to warrant a sharp look at the redneck upstarts who’d brought a garlic crusher with them in the first place, smuggling it in like some illegal weaponry. He supposed he should be glad that was the worst of what he’d received from a room full of mistrustful eyes and hearts.

Still, he’d been feeling it creeping through his sinuses for the remainder of the evening, a slow and noxious irritant that had nearly forced him to turn his head and sniff once or twice. That among… other things had certainly seen to it that he’d had his share of sensory overload for the night. He couldn’t do anything for the ache in his chest, but at least he could finally release the potent prickling sensation in his nose.

“Heh’etsshhuh!” He sneezed sharply, nearly groaning in relief at the sensation.

No longer being among the living, he wasn’t in the habit of sneezing very often, it had become an almost foreign feeling. Still, it hadn’t taken him long to be reminded while standing and chatting with the people of Bon Temps, appeasing their worries. Had he not been concerned with making a good impression, he’d have ducked out the back much sooner, rather than stealing tiny, irritated sniffles beneath the cover of shuffling feet and rustling papers.

“Hh’ESHhhuh!” Oh, it felt so good to get it out though, a hand bracing against his leg as he sneezed uncovered towards the ground. “Heh’ETSHHhih!!”

They weren’t especially loud, but vigorous and exhilarating, each one briefly and powerfully clearing his senses. Eventually, though he hated the indignity of it, a few more harshly spraying sneezes like those saw his nose to running just a bit. Sniffling quickly to keep it in check, he reached inside his jacket for the handkerchief he’d used earlier for far more sentimental purposes.

It was standing there, searching for the cloth and listening to the moths bounce off the little floodlight above the backdoor, that a sudden creak off footsteps sounded to his right. Instinct won over logic and Bill whirled immediately, an inhumanely quick step bringing him into the immediate vicinity of his stalker.

To his misfortune, intimidation tactics had little effect on Sookie Stackhouse. Apart from a slightly startled gasp at seeing him in one spot the first second and a completely different one in the next, she only frowned and laid a hand to her chest.

“Bill Compton! I told you to stop doin’ that!”

A little befuddled and vexed by her presence, not the usual symptoms of her company, the vampire turned his head a bit to watch her from the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry. You… surprised me,” he admitted slowly, which only drew a nervous laugh from the blonde.

“I surprised you? Mister, you don’t know the half of how I been feelin’ these past few days.”

Waylaying this subject for the time being, he began to step away from her a bit, still feeling the uncomfortable need to sniffle a bit and, more worryingly, that yet-unrelieved little tickle of irritation.

“I thought you had somewhere… to be. With Sam,” he reminded her pointedly, fingers clenching a little around the handkerchief balled in his fist. Even still reeling from the sneezes, he could see the tiniest shift in her eyes, a flicker of uncertainty. Interesting.

“Oh, yeah. We’re…headed out for coffee in a bit, but I saw you beat it out here awful fast, Gran wanted me to come see you were okay.”

Hm. Deciding that she knew far too many of his weaknesses already, he resisted the urge to sniff again and continued to watch her coolly from beneath the slight shadow of his brow, eyes dark but intense. “I’m fine. Just needed some air.”

Dumb as she might have looked, Sookie was not so easily misled. Her brows arched. “Thought you said you don’t need to breathe.”

He looked away from her, disguising his mild annoyance. He liked Sookie, but at the moment her presence was more bane than anything. If at all possible, he did not like to sneeze in front of a woman, and was quickly losing his ability to control that urge. “You know what I mean.”

She was quiet for a moment, musing on him while he silently willed her away. For once, it would have been beneficial if she could hear his thoughts as clearly as she heard everyone else’s. Sookie was oblivious, though, and stepped forward to reach a hand for his arm.

He moved away and her fingers curled, hand dropping. If she looked disappointed, it was only for a flashing second. “I just… wanted to say again that your talk was really nice. I think you really affected some of those people.”

“You said that already,” he reminded her, feeling a little ornery for reasons other than the building pressure in his sinuses. Reasons that were probably still waiting for Sookie inside the church.

“Well, I…”

While she hesitated on what to say, Bill was alarmed to find the stimulus become suddenly too much. Perhaps she had still been carrying the odor of some of that garlic on her clothes, but her nearness had inspired him to draw a quick, unnecessary breath and step away.

“Huh’EISHHHhuh!” To his immense dismay, he’d only managed to half-catch that one with the balled cloth raised to his face. Opening it quickly in one hand, he put some distance between them and bent away from her to endure the next few.

“Hgk’KSHH! …H’rshh!!” They came in sharp, tightly muffled little explosions, wrenching his eyes shut and his shoulders down. “–‘Hschht! Hh!….H’ksshhuh!”

Eventually, after another three or four, they began to abate. Left sniffling and blinking wetly, he felt himself very, very vulnerable and uncomfortable. He could tell she was staring at him wide-eyed without even looking.

“Bill!” She got out somewhere between a gasp and a laugh. “I didn’t know vampires could sneeze!”

She said it as though it were somehow the most amusing and amazing thing in the world, he noted wryly. “It happens,” he muttered and then, after a slightly embarrassed pause, “Excuse me.”

“Oh,” she got out with an uncertain giggle, “Uhm… bless you. I… I can say that to you, right? It doesn’t hurt you?”

This time, he gave her a somewhat exasperated look. “Yes.” Had he not been standing inside a church and before a cross not fifteen minutes ago?

“Are you okay, though?” Sookie wondered, taking a step towards him. “I mean I haven’t… seen you do that before.”

He took a step back automatically, wary of the tickling, invasive scent she still carried on her unawares. “Haven’t seen you do it either.”

She stopped, eyebrows raising. “Touche,” she admitted. “So it’s… is that normal, then? Vampires sneezing?”

He wasn’t sure he liked this conversation any more than the one about her new… beau or whatever he was, waiting inside. Moreover, he could already feel the wispy fumes of the garlic drifting into his nose, making his long-unused lungs shudder and expand a little with shaky breaths that he didn’t… didn’t…

“H’PHfft!” He smothered another abrupt sneeze in a fold of the handkerchief, not having time to fully turn his back on her this time. “Hp’ksshhh! KSHhh!” Even trying to hold them back in front of her, they still jerked his head sharply down, a sudden seizing loss of control that had felt very good a few minutes ago, but not so much with her eyes boring in to him. That, and the allergic response had made his teeth extend unconsciously, like a physical manifestation of his immune response.

She made to move towards him again when he’d raised his head, but his apology turned into a quick, snappish warning, showing his fangs. “Sookie, stop.” A tremor of hurt and then irritation flashed across her own brow, and he quickly amended, “You’re… making me sneeze. I apologize.”

The telepath placed a hand on her hip, more dryly curious now than anything. “Oh? You’re allergic to humans now?”

Giving up on avoiding the subject, Bill tilted his head down a little and came clean. “The garlic. It’s like an allergy. I can still smell it on your clothes.”

“Oh…” She looked as if she was considering teasing him about, but thought the better of it and took a long step backwards. “Jeez, I’m sorry, I saw those guys behind me with it but I figured it was like the uh… the cross and the bats thing, that it wouldn’t affect you.”

“More like the silver and invitation thing,” he responded, mocking her just a little and with the tiniest hint of a smile. It seemed infectious, as she smiled shyly in return.

“Right, well. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“And don’t—,”

“Yeah yeah,” she interrupted. “Don’t mention it to nobody, I got it.” She looked off to the side a bit. “Well I uh… I guess I should leave you be, then. Sam’s probably waitin’.”

Bill’s eyes narrowed marginally, but he let his ire simmer. “Yes. He probably is.”

Sookie offered him a helpless sort of smile. “I’ll see ya…later, then,” she offered, one last response before awkwardly turning and making her way back around the corner of the church, back towards her date for the evening.

Once he was sure she was gone, the vampire squeezed his eyes shut and snapped forward a final, relieving time.

“Hehtt’ESSHSHuuhh!”

Lord above, that felt better. Still, he didn’t mind waiting until Sookie and Sam had left before slowly, grudgingly making his way back inside. With any luck, he could get the rest of the socializing over with quickly and retire. Alone, perhaps, but without any undue allergens.

[Adrilynn]

OKay, first of all I LOVE True Blood, and second I LOVE that the vampires in it are "allergic" to garlic! I even started a topic on it in the "Media" section of this board! I too awaited last night with baited breath to watch Bill Compton suffer a garlic induced sneezing fit, so I squeakily screamed when I saw a fan-fic entitled TRUE BLOOD here! (Especially when I was just checking to see if anyone had answered my Halloween role play)

Here is a piece by piece love song to your story:

Had he not been concerned with making a good impression, he’d have ducked out the back much sooner, rather than stealing tiny, irritated sniffles beneath the cover of shuffling feet and rustling papers.

-I liked the concept that that WHOLE TIME he was struggling to fight off an impending sneeze. I love it when they squirm ^_~

If at all possible, he did not like to sneeze in front of a woman, and was quickly losing his ability to control that urge.

- ABSOLUTELY without a DOUBT *THE BEST* thing that gets me going about sneezing is when people are trying NOT to... Especially when it is pride or to hide a weakness.

Reasons that were probably still waiting for Sookie inside the church.

--I LOVED that line

While she hesitated on what to say, Bill was alarmed to find the stimulus become suddenly too much. Perhaps she had still been carrying the odor of some of that garlic on her clothes, but her nearness had inspired him to draw a quick, unnecessary breath and step away.

--I don't know what I like about this bit but I do.... maybe because I like to make people allergic to the object of tehir affections....

Left sniffling and blinking wetly, he felt himself very, very vulnerable and uncomfortable. He could tell she was staring at him wide-eyed without even looking.

--I like that he felt vulnerable. I love it when big strong powerful vampires are vulnerable.... or feel vulnerable.

Moreover, he could already feel the wispy fumes of the garlic drifting into his nose, making his long-unused lungs shudder and expand a little with shaky breaths that he didn’t… didn’t…

-I love the repeat of "didn't"

That, and the allergic response had made his teeth extend unconsciously, like a physical manifestation of his immune response.

- I *LOVE LOVE LOVE* that it made his TEETH come out!!!!

She made to move towards him again when he’d raised his head, but his apology turned into a quick, snappish warning, showing his fangs. “Sookie, stop.” A tremor of hurt and then irritation flashed across her own brow, and he quickly amended, “You’re… making me sneeze. I apologize.”

-I don't have an special reason but this may be my favorite tiny bit in the whole story. for no good reason.

All and all thanks for the fic!

[Garnet]

"Here is a piece by piece love song to your story"

LOL! That cracked me up so much! I love your love song! Awwww, thank you so much for responding, it totally just made my night! I love long piece-by-piece reviews, I have the warm fuzzies now

ZOMG yes I was SO LOOKING FORWARD TO maybe allergic-ness in the show too! But then no 8C Denied. So damnit I made my own! It was actually really fun and characters were surprisingly easy to slip into. I'm tempted to do more, but we'll see how the series progresses a little (I have a vague idea of how the books go but... eh, not gonna pay attention to those at the moment because they're kinda crazy XD)

Deeehee but yes I am TOTALLY all for the points you pulled out. MMmm, mmm southern gentlemen type trying not to sneeze in front of their love interests, MMMM. Add the vampire factor and ROWR. I had to include the teeth bit, damnit, they needed to be worked in somewhere!

Eeee so yes, thank you thank you thank you! ^__^ I totally appreciate it.

[Adrilynn]

If you write more I will read it. if you somehow make it a mojor plot point I will worship you. if you do not I will pine. ^_~

[the texaskid]

Well I've decided this is canon. It did happen, HBO just were assholes and didn't show it. Thank you for remedying their oversight.

I love this fic!

[NYBound]

omgggg......this is awesome....please write more......