Bones drabble - (2 Parts)

[krazykat]

Just a little drabble that popped into my head....

HUURRRTSCHEEEEEW Booth sneezed for about the twentieth time since they had arrived at their latest crimescene. He was miserable, his eyes watering, the roof of his mouth itching and his nostrils flaring widely as the onslaught of pollen that was being exuded from the ragweed worked it's way deeper into his sinuses. He sniffed, his right hand coming up to scrub against his nose in a vain attempt to alleviate the itching; a vain attempt that was soon aborted as his body snapped forward with the force of another sneeze.

"Bless you" Cam said, glancing up at him, smiling sympathetically as she took in his red, watery eyes and the look of desperation that marred his features as another

sneeze started to build. "Cause of death appears to be a single stab wound to the heart. There's evidence of what looks like post-mortem mutilation, my best estimate is that the victim died between 6 and 10 hours ago".

"Why am I here? There's skin and organs, I do bones" Brennan griped, annoyed at having been pulled away from the Jeffersonian and a fascinating reconstruction of Anasazi bones to come and look at what was definitely not just bones.

"You are here behhhhhHETSCHUUUUUUUH HURRRRTSCHUUUUUUH, because the skin and organs attached to those bones probably belong to a missing US Senator" Booth replied as he pulled a white cotton handkerchief out of his jacket pocket to blow his nose.

"Senator Johnson? How did you catch the case?" Cam asked as she gently lifted the right arm to look at the bruising that extended the entire length of the arm.

"The Director and Johnson were golfing buddies. Needless to say that our fearless leader was not to happy when one of his best buddies disappeared and has been giving the whole of the violent crimes section huuuuh huuuuuuuuh HAAAARTSCHUUUUUUUUH HUUUUURTSCHHHHHMPPPPH, hell since he went missing. He's gonna be pissed when he discovers that he has ended up as worm food".

"We do not have a positive ID on the body yet Booth, until we do you can't state that this is the senator", Bones told him, her logical mind refusing to make suppositions when they did not have hard evidence to support them.

"Never said that it was the guuuuuHURTSCHEEEEEEEW HARTSCHHHHHEEEEEW, the good senator Bones, just that we suhhhh huuuuuuh huuuuhhhh, oh shit I hate it when that happens, that we thuuuhhURTSCHUUUUUMPH, think that old bonesy here is our Director's golfin' buddy. Now if you'll excuse me, you and Cam can concentrate on getting bonesy here back to the squints whilst I concentrate on dying" Booth replied before stifling another set of sneezes into the handkerchief.

"You are aware that the sternutatory reflex would be mediated by the taking of anti-histamines" Bones stated as her right hand lifted the dismembered head up from it's resting place amongst the ragweed.

"No Bones, it isn't. Trust me, I've taken two already and they don't work, so why don't you play with your corpse like a good little bones and I'll just stand here sneezing my head off in peace".

[Orionbob]

Oooh, very nice. Thanks for sharing.

[Jazz]

Thanks for posting it. (:

I enjoyed it very much.

[scent]

[color="#000080"

Thanks for posting it. (:

I enjoyed it very much.

I loved it! I hope you have a continuation to it. I just love reading the male allergy stories. Especially when it comes to a male stifling an oncoming sneeze. How that gets me going.

[allergyboy2001]

Excellent, excellent story.

[stargazer]

Totally loved this. If you continue, I definitely won't object. If not that's fine too.

[krazykat]

This isn't going to turn into an actual fic as I'm not sure I could do credit to the Bones/Booth dynamic but after writing yesterdays snippet my subconscious mind was nice enough to bless me with the following snippet in my sleep so here it goes:

Bones stood by the Bureau issued black SUV, pulling off the protective navy blue jumpsuit that she wore over her clothes, watching her partner as he launched into yet

another sneezing fit. He was a mess. Red, swollen, watery eyes, running nose, a red histamine induced rash just visible where he had removed his tie and opened up the top button of his dress shirt, all a testament to his immune systems reaction to the pollen filled air.

"Give me the keys" Bones demanded, her hands placed on her hips, her eyes steely as she attempted to stared down Booth.

"No way Bones, Ih'm driihhhHARTSCHUUUUUUMPH HUUUURTSCHEEEEEEEEEW HAAAARTSCHUUUUUUUMPH driiiihHETSCHHUUUUUUH, damnit, I'm driving" Booth replied between sneezes, knowing full well that if he was to get behind the wheel of the SUV and drive off right now that he would probably end up crashing the damned thing.

"Oh really? And just how do you imagine that you are going to do that when you are sneezing every two seconds and you're eyes are all swollen and watering? I have to say that I seem like a much better candidate for driving right now".

"Bones, it's an ahhhhHARTSCHUUUUUUH HAIIIIITSCHEEEEEEEW ahhhlergy, I'b perfectly fibe tuhhhhHETSCHEEEEEEEW HARTSCHUUUUUUUMPH, to dribe. And, more importantly, it's an FBI cahhHATSCHOOOOOOOOO HAIIIITSCHEEEEEEEW car and you're doht FBI".

"You don't trust me to drive? I'll have you know that I am great at driving"

"Yeah, great at driving people up the wahhhhHARTSCHUUUUUUUMPH HAAAARTSCHUUUUUUUHHHH, the wall"

"I don't know what that means Booth, and if you'd just let me drive your precious FBI car we could be sat inside with the aircon on instead of stood out here with the mediator to your allergic reaction. So, give me the keys before I decide that I need to take samples of the indigenous plant life back to the lab with me".

[Orionbob]

Ahaha, cute. You've got Brennan's voice down especially well, I feel.

[myaccount96321]

Wow. I really think you've got the characters down. If you feel like writing more, I would be delighted to read it.

[Guest sweetpea]

This is great! Did you see the episode where Booth had an allergy attack because of grass? ::melts::

[scent]

This is great! Did you see the episode where Booth had an allergy attack because of grass? ::melts::

What show was this? Ans is it still in syndication on cable?

[krazykat]

Episode is called "Wannabe in the Weeds" and it is halfway through season 3.

And yes, sweetpea I have seen it... in fact I now own it on DVD.... don't you just love the fact that you DVD players allow you to loop scenes and zoom in. So, the sneezes are fake but they're not bad!!

[Orionbob]

So, the sneezes are fake but they're not bad!!

Indeed. I just love the fact that there's a show in which a character's allergies are cannon! That's such a lovely scene.