Need to get rid of my fetish

[Guest anonymouskid]

Hi,

I have a question I hope someone here can help me with. My story starts out the same as many that I've seen around here...I stumbled on this site a month or two ago and realized for the first time what exactly that "weird feeling" was that I get when someone sneezes...I remember being aware of it when I was very young, and being slightly obsessed with sneezing and colds, as I've seen others mention here...and then at some point apparently it must have started to scare me, because at some point I started really disliking when anyone sneezed (I never ever say "bless you"...guessing that's related heh). The physical response went away for some years I think (or else it was subtle enough I wasnt aware of it), and only came back a few months ago when I randomly remembered that stuff from when I was younger, started googling it, found this site, and discovered that I could still be "turned on" by watching some of the videos, reading some of the stories, etc posted here.

Now it's come back full force, to the point where my body responds to some degree almost every time someone in the room sneezes, or even if I think about it too much. I hate it, I feel like I have no control over my body, and there's an added complication that wasn't there when I was younger (not to mention that my body is mature now (I'm 20) so there's a bit more involved!!) - I now have fairly severe OCD, including a germ phobia. So now when someone sneezes, I'm physically turned on but emotionally totally disgusted and want to get away...very upsetting combination...

So my question for all of you is this...how would you go about getting rid of this fetish? No offense to everyone who sees this as a positive thing, but it really is not for me, and never will be. I need to find a way to make sneezing a neutral thing, develop a "normal" attitude toward it, get my body to stop being turned on whenever it happens. Any suggestions as to how I can accomplish that would be HUGELY appreciated.

Thanks so much,

anonymouskid

[Vetinari]

Speaking from personal experience I think the germophobia might be easier to cure. Phobias seem less hardwired into my brain than the fetish. I can't imagine that anyone who is here is likely to have an answer as to how to get rid of the fetish. What I would say is that hanging around here intensifies the feelings for me and make me, if anything more aware. Can you get help for your OCD perhaps? The fetish is really nothing to be ashamed of.

[Natto]

I don't know how to get rid of it, so I'm not going to give you any suggestions there. But my therapist told me that if I wanted to get rid of it, she could and would help me--I didn't want to, so I didn't try to find out how it might be done, but I do know that it's something a therapist can assist with. Professional help might be a good idea, if it's possible for you to get it.

[Frozencat]

Professionals can also help with phobias. I used to be a lot worse with spiders than I am now due to reading online suggestions and books, so it went from being unable to sleep after seeing a spider to being able to pick one up and throw it outside.

Perhaps you can find a ground that best suits what your internal wiring seeks

[Guest anonymouskid]

Thank you all for the responses Yeah, I'm seeing a therapist for the OCD, working on that, because obviously that's a problem too...but I would still really like to find a way to get rid of the fetish if possible, just because at this point it's gotten so out of control for me, and I'm otherwise fairly asexual, I have no intention of having sex anytime soon and no interest in doing anything sexual by myself. So I feel like this is kind of forcing me into an area I really have no interest in at this point in my life...

I will try to talk to my therapist about it, I've been too ashamed to bring it up so far, but that's reassuring to know Natto that yours said it's possible. If anyone else has thoughts on this that would still be great, because it's probably going to be a while before I can manage to bring this up, much as I want to hurry up and deal with this...

Thanks again,

anonymouskid

[Raistlin]

Well, no one can really control when they get turned on. For us seeing a sneeze is no different than a man seeing an attractive woman in a skirt accidentally sit immodestly, or a woman seeing a hot guy mowing the lawn with his shirt off. Being young and sexual, you just get turned on by stuff in the course of your day.

[chui]

there are ways of how you can condition yourself "not" to have a response... but i would recommend a LOT of caution. when you start messing with how the mind is wired, there is always the possibility for long-term negative effects.

might i make another suggestion? instead of trying to fix this immediately by getting rid of it, perhaps try to not focus on it so much. i know that can be difficult, when the body begins to respond on its own, but there are things you can do, even as simple as wearing a rubber band on your wrist, and snapping it when you start to think fetishy... or just conciously try to think about something else (preferrably something good, as we dont want to start associating it with bad things, as that could cause sexual problems later in life)

whatever you end up doing, good luck hon. just remember, you aren't alone, and there are people here who have been where you are, and who are willing to try and help, or at least lend an ear.

[Frozencat]

I agree completely. Be very careful of how you try and rethink or react to the fetish if possible, as negativity can cause a lot of stress or negative effects over time. Think about suppressing something so much - the body only has so much room before you can't suppress it anymore

I haven't been in this specific situation but I would be perfectly willing to try and help out in any way I can.

[resolution]

You would probably have to unravel the unique psychological history and conditions of your particular fetish; it is probably different in each case. A pity you want to dispose of it, it can be quite a gift when it is in control.

[count tiszula]

As has been said, extreme care is needed with such matters, because if you try to adopt, or have treatment to adopt, a negative attitude to sneezing, it seems very likely to increase the germ-phobia and the OCD generally, which is much more likely to have a very disabling effect on your life than just getting the occasioanl thrill.

Aged twenty it is hardly unusual for you to have sexual feelings; you don't have to act on them, though since you are over 18 even this forum would allow you a certain amount of relief.

Matters may have changed, but some years ago it was common to use aversion therapy to try to prevent people having unconventional desires, like homosexuality; it may have worked sometimes, but people I know suffered terribly from it, and it didn't work ultimately for them.

By contrast, many people are cured of phobias by quite simple techniques of gradual exposure and habituation.

In any case, you seem to be opposed not to sneezing as such but to any sexual feeling, AnD in many ways liking sneezing is a much less complicated sexual outlet than many other things which would doubtless replace it.

So I would agree; get rid of the phobias and enjoy the sneezing.

[lilywhitesneezes]

OCD and other "psychiatric" symptoms are ABSOLUTELY tied with "guilt" over the fetish. For a while, every time someone sneezed, I liked it, to the point that it drove me crazy!

I finally "came clean" with someone and told them how I felt ... and through that, I've been able to get over it (in large part). There is NOTHING wrong with a fetish that harms no one. No one knows your reactions except you and you have no reason to feel guilty.

I too have OCD and once I got that under control, the obsessive thoughts about this fetish went away ... the fetish itself, however, did not. I don't believe our brains can be re-wired that way. It sounds like you are obsessing BIG TIME. Trust me, once you understand obsessive thinking more, you will understand how you can get past it and enjoy something that you want to enjoy.

Hope that made sense.

[Bombast]

http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/living/h...id-of-a-fetish/

[Guest anonymouskid]

Thank you all so much...I'm just astounded by how helpful and caring everyone here has been. I've been kind of avoiding thinking about this the last few days, which is why I haven't replied sooner, but I didn't want you to think I'd disappeared. I'll try to reply more tomorrow, but I wanted to at least thank you all so much for your advice and suggestions.

anonymouskid

[The Mute Poet]

We're all more than happy to help, anonymous - this is the sort of thing we're here for! (We've all been in spots where the fetish has caused us some sort of trouble, and know how big of a problem it can become if you have to try to deal with it on your own...)

[randomguy]

Hiya! I'm not a psychological expert, but I don't think it's possible to get rid of a fetish. It is possible to let it affect you less, but I don't think you should force that. If you do, you may find yourself becoming very emotionally disturbed. It's not easy to force yourself to feel something, and I'm guessing it would be even harder to force yourself not to feel something. You would have to put yourself through an incredible amount of mental processing. You're not going to like this, but I think the best thing for you to do is to just accept your fetish and realize that there's nothing wrong with it. Once you accept that you have it and make your peace with it, you'll just start to see it as a fact. Once that happens, you will be able to control it a lot better.

[Guest honeyshackle]

Awww, really sorry it's having that effect on you! I personally like it so much! I don't really think I have a fetish, but it's a warm little like when someone I find cute and sweet does it, and it's the most adorable, innocent little turn on ever! I feel so ashamed of my other, bigger fetishes though, bleah, so I know what you mean. I don't know what to say because I haven't figured out how to get rid of the turn ons I don't want either, but I'm crossing my fingers for you. Hugs!

[chui]

Hiya! I'm not a psychological expert, but I don't think it's possible to get rid of a fetish. It is possible to let it affect you less, but I don't think you should force that. If you do, you may find yourself becoming very emotionally disturbed. It's not easy to force yourself to feel something, and I'm guessing it would be even harder to force yourself not to feel something. You would have to put yourself through an incredible amount of mental processing. You're not going to like this, but I think the best thing for you to do is to just accept your fetish and realize that there's nothing wrong with it. Once you accept that you have it and make your peace with it, you'll just start to see it as a fact. Once that happens, you will be able to control it a lot better.

In theory, this is sound advice, randomguy, but you have to consider the impact that having the fetish is already having upon a person's state of mind. It is not easy for some people to accept having something which causes them an uncontrollable sexual response in random, and often inappropriate situations. Not everyone is willing or able to just make peace with it. There are certain cases where it might be best to train onesself out of a particular reaction, specifically times where it is causing extreme anxiety and/or nervous issues. No one can tell another person whether or not they should try, as we do not live in their mind, and do not know the extent of the issue they are having with the fetish.

You are correct, in that trying to divest onesself of this fetish can lead to emotional disturbance, if extreme measures are taken without guidance, or thorough consideration. For instance, some people would tell you to think of something unpleasant after hearing a sneeze to keep from becoming aroused. In theory, good... in actuality, very bad. By doing something like that, you are more likely to develop long-term issues with any form of sexual gratification, as the fetish is a direct link between sneezing and a sexual response. There are better, safer ways to condition onesself out of a reaction, and if the fetish is causing a major disruption in daily life, then it can be a good thing to look into them.

[Greystone]

If you want to get rid of your sneezing fetish then maybe it would help if you took up my fetish instead. I don't actually have a fetish about sneezing but do have a similar fetish about really hot girls blowing their nose in my face. I think my fetish is better and more fun. It is also an easy fetish to realise as loads of girls you meet who will not let you have sex with them or snog them will still blow their nose in your face and most girls think it is very funny as well. Why not give it a go.

[Secret98]

Hi,

I have a question I hope someone here can help me with. My story starts out the same as many that I've seen around here...I stumbled on this site a month or two ago and realized for the first time what exactly that "weird feeling" was that I get when someone sneezes...I remember being aware of it when I was very young, and being slightly obsessed with sneezing and colds, as I've seen others mention here...and then at some point apparently it must have started to scare me, because at some point I started really disliking when anyone sneezed (I never ever say "bless you"...guessing that's related heh). The physical response went away for some years I think (or else it was subtle enough I wasnt aware of it), and only came back a few months ago when I randomly remembered that stuff from when I was younger, started googling it, found this site, and discovered that I could still be "turned on" by watching some of the videos, reading some of the stories, etc posted here.

Now it's come back full force, to the point where my body responds to some degree almost every time someone in the room sneezes, or even if I think about it too much. I hate it, I feel like I have no control over my body, and there's an added complication that wasn't there when I was younger (not to mention that my body is mature now (I'm 20) so there's a bit more involved!!) - I now have fairly severe OCD, including a germ phobia. So now when someone sneezes, I'm physically turned on but emotionally totally disgusted and want to get away...very upsetting combination...

So my question for all of you is this...how would you go about getting rid of this fetish? No offense to everyone who sees this as a positive thing, but it really is not for me, and never will be. I need to find a way to make sneezing a neutral thing, develop a "normal" attitude toward it, get my body to stop being turned on whenever it happens. Any suggestions as to how I can accomplish that would be HUGELY appreciated.

Thanks so much,

anonymouskid

I have a very similar problem, and I go back and forth on whether or not I want to keep this fetish. The only way I know of to get rid of a fetish is to tell a therapist and they know steps to make you take in order to get rid of it, one thing is to not indulge in it, if you think about switch your thoughts to something else. There are many more steps needed to be get rid of the thing entirely though, so you will need help with it

I still hate my fetish, but find my self posting things about in here. I avoided the forum of sometime and have recently returned. I recently posted about Saint Michael sneezing, and because like I said I go back and forth. I find that some sneezes I enjoy and they remind of why I like the fetish, but others scare me and actually cause anxiety attacks (I can't handle more than 3 sneezes, I will have an anxiety attack if people sneeze more than that). But I have to decide whether to keep the fetish and the anxiety or to get rid of the fetish and keep the anxiety- which makes it harder.

I hope I have helped

[Greystone]

I sometimes wonder why I like my similar fetish of enjoying having hot women blow their nose in my face. I suppose because it is something that seems naughty and sexy at the same time.

I suppose the only way to get rid of a fetish would be to indulge in it so much that you get bored with it and want to forget.

[Guest]

I suppose the only way to get rid of a fetish would be to indulge in it so much that you get bored with it and want to forget.

That would be one way to get rid of it. Over indulgence of anything can lead to a loss of appetite for it.

However, you mrntioned that you were a germophobe anonymous so I don't think that would be the cup of tea for you. Although going cold turkey is rarely the best method for quitting something, perhaps it or something similar is more appropriate is for you.

I'm afraid I've not been much help

[resolution]

I sometimes wonder why I like my similar fetish of enjoying having hot women blow their nose in my face. I suppose because it is something that seems naughty and sexy at the same time.

I suppose the only way to get rid of a fetish would be to indulge in it so much that you get bored with it and want to forget.

It could ofcourse very easily have the opposite effect though as feeding something can make it stronger.

[randomguy]

Hiya! I'm not a psychological expert, but I don't think it's possible to get rid of a fetish. It is possible to let it affect you less, but I don't think you should force that. If you do, you may find yourself becoming very emotionally disturbed. It's not easy to force yourself to feel something, and I'm guessing it would be even harder to force yourself not to feel something. You would have to put yourself through an incredible amount of mental processing. You're not going to like this, but I think the best thing for you to do is to just accept your fetish and realize that there's nothing wrong with it. Once you accept that you have it and make your peace with it, you'll just start to see it as a fact. Once that happens, you will be able to control it a lot better.

In theory, this is sound advice, randomguy, but you have to consider the impact that having the fetish is already having upon a person's state of mind. It is not easy for some people to accept having something which causes them an uncontrollable sexual response in random, and often inappropriate situations. Not everyone is willing or able to just make peace with it. There are certain cases where it might be best to train onesself out of a particular reaction, specifically times where it is causing extreme anxiety and/or nervous issues. No one can tell another person whether or not they should try, as we do not live in their mind, and do not know the extent of the issue they are having with the fetish.

You are correct, in that trying to divest onesself of this fetish can lead to emotional disturbance, if extreme measures are taken without guidance, or thorough consideration. For instance, some people would tell you to think of something unpleasant after hearing a sneeze to keep from becoming aroused. In theory, good... in actuality, very bad. By doing something like that, you are more likely to develop long-term issues with any form of sexual gratification, as the fetish is a direct link between sneezing and a sexual response. There are better, safer ways to condition onesself out of a reaction, and if the fetish is causing a major disruption in daily life, then it can be a good thing to look into them.

Woah... I haven't checked on this thread in a while, and I didn't realize my post had caused any upset. I was only trying to help. (Famous last words) Sorry, I'll try to keep in my place from now on.

[midnight in paris]

I'm not a therapist so I'm not qualified to give professional advice,but possibly you are dealing with one central problem, and the germophobia,the ocd and the sneezing difficulties are not separate,distinct problems that you need to knock down like so many bowling pins, but rather parts of a broader issue of which these are symptoms or whatever you want to call them-- in a way like having a headache may cause a cluster of difficulties like pain,nausea, poor focusing on tasks,irritability etc.In other words,the headache is really the problem and what it causes is a cluster of other difficulties.I hope this makes it seem less overwhelming--whatever is the source of your unhappiness,see a good therapist and try to get it put into perspective so you aren't miserable thinking about it all the time.Having a good therapist work with you and for you is a good start all by itself.You sound motivated and intelligent as well and those qualities are also good to have.Good luck.

[Here Secretly]

Hey. I see that a number of people have already responded, but I figure, what the heck, I might as well do so, too. My first thought would be that if you already have a therapist, as you mentioned, that you're working with on the matter of OCD, you might consider talking with the therapist about this issue. Mind you, only TALKING. Don't do anything drastic right away. And if you're not comfortable with how the therapist responds, keep in mind the world is FULL of therapists (I would know. I'm trained as one, though not presently practicing) and you can always talk with another one at another time.

Anyway, here's the thing: all of us here refer to what we have as a "fetish" in the sense that it's something unique and different that gives us a certain type of feeling, but the way a therapist, psychologist or a psychiatrist defines fetish is a bit different. First, it typically involves an object, not an action, and second, it has to "cause significant impairment in your career, family and social relationships, daily functioning," etc. to be therapeutically considered a fetish. Thus, I've determined that my own fetish is not REALLY a "fetish" by that definition. Yes, it occasionally makes me uncomfortable in social situations, but I've never had to quit a job or lose a loved one or stop going outside over it. If a person finds that something in his or her life is causing significant impairment to an important aspect of life, then it's a problem, even if it "feels good." Consider that some folks are unfortunate enough to find this arousing which are illegal, considered immoral by society or socially deviant. If a person acts on a fetish that happens to be illegal, there is going to be a consequence, and that is a negative impact on that person's life. That person then needs some intervention to assist them in getting the fetish to a manageable level. Only you can determine whether you are in a situation where you need professional help or not. Mind you, there's nothing inherently WRONG with feeling the way you do about sneezing--and obviously, I feel similarly about it or I wouldn't be here. But if it's bothering you enough that you're posting about wanting to get rid of it, then I imagine that life has become difficult as of late. You've made the right first step--you're asking questions about what you can do to get things under control. And you know, I can't be certain because I've never tried to get rid of mine, but I wonder whether it needs to be gotten rid of entirely or whether it can be managed. Consider as an example a person whose doctor tells him he needs to cut back on his drinking or he'll damage his liver. Some people would say the person is probably an alcoholic and needs to quit alcohol entirely. Others have found that it's possible to cut back without giving it up forever. Perhaps it is possible for you to enjoy your fetish in some ways and ignore it at other times, or at least lessen its impact.

I don't know. I don't have all the answers, but I do believe the place to start is by exploring it further. Ultimately, you'll decide what is the right step for you. No one else can tell you.

Thank you all so much...I'm just astounded by how helpful and caring everyone here has been. I've been kind of avoiding thinking about this the last few days, which is why I haven't replied sooner, but I didn't want you to think I'd disappeared. I'll try to reply more tomorrow, but I wanted to at least thank you all so much for your advice and suggestions.

anonymouskid