The Joys of Spring

[Spoo]

This wonderful piece originally began as a small gift of fan-candy from Baniira-chan (AKA Teh Ninjin), to which I exploded into Spoo-goo all over the place. Ultimately, I decided that I would contribute as well by adding 885 lovely words of my own onto it! So, in short, we both combined our wrong!forces and produced this delicious wrong!tastic chaos. She deserves more credit than I do, really, for taking the initiative of writing my first taste of Ouran!wrong. But, in any case, we bring you this amusing tidbit!

For all of you who aren’t familiar with the series:

This is Tamaki Suou, our gorgeous drama-king. This is Haruhi Fujioka, the cross-dressing girl who has to put up with his antics. Aaand this gorgeous specimen is Kyouya Ootori, the many among my muse harem. Anyway, from two fangirls to you all, enjoy!

~*~

Was it really springtime already?

Bursting through the ornate doors of the music room, a usually enthusiastic blond made his way to his special chair, where he proceeded to plop down in a rather dramatic fashion. Of course, when he made his entrance, everyone had to drop what they were doing to greet their king. It’s just the way things were done. However, on that late Thursday afternoon there was only one other sharing his space.

From across the way, Haruhi Fujioka looked up from a book and paced over, a slight bout of confusion coming to her face when she noticed the male was totally out of it. "Hey, are you o—”

"I'm DYING!" the Host Club president exclaimed, immediately clinging to her uniform coat lapels and tugging her towards him. "So, no, my beautiful daughter, I'm NOT okay!" His voice syrupy, nasally. Thick. With a heavy sniffle, he cast his violet eyes up to her and whimpered pathetically. "Don’t you care about Daddy’s health?"

Haruhi's brow furrowed as she instinctively pressed her hand against his forehead. "No fever..."

"That doesn't mean anything!"

"I doubt screaming is going to help with anything, Tamaki-senpai.”

"How can you possibly make light of this?!" His eyes were watery, itchy. Bloodshot. He looked positively miserable. "Why, my very life is in question!"

"You've just got a sniffle. You'll be fine."

“A SNIFFLE? What in God's name is that?! It’s n-not a…commoner’s disease, is it?!"

"You'll be FINE," she repeated, pulling back from his tight grip. "Anyway, I should start on changing the flowers."

Tamaki looked incredibly offended, but he let go and pouted, bottom lip protruding out. "You're going to feel absolutely terrible when you turn around to find that I'm rotting away to nothing!"

The girl just rolled her eyes and turned back to the vases. She was cleaning them. They had to be both 'spotless' and 'perfect' according to Kyouya-senpai, after all. By doing this she was also trying not to feed Tamaki's appetite for attention, which would explain how she was completely ignoring his hitching breaths.

The blond’s nose had reached a cherry hue in a typical irritated shade. He kept raising his knuckles to meet the appendage, lips parting and golden brows furrowing. Nothing. He heaved a sigh of relief and slouched in the chair. "Hihhh..." A shiver ran up his spine and he shot up to a straight sit. "Hahh—Haruhi…hhhh!"

"Hold on..."

"Hhh—hhiiiiit's...important—haahh…!" His amethyst eyes unfocused as he lifted his hand towards his twitching nose.

"One second…"

"Hiieex'tchhhhhhhuhh!" He shot forward, slapping the sleeve of his coat in front of his face since he lacked the folds of a silken handkerchief.

The strident outburst split the silence of the room like a clap of thunder, causing Haruhi to immediately jump.

That sound was completely foreign to her; she nearly dropped the vase she had been holding, but quickly recovered, as she simply, and quite literally, couldn’t afford another debt to pay off. Phew… Afterwards, she turned to the sniffling king. "Bless you." She blinked. “Was that what was so important?"

"Y-you couldn't fetch me my handkerchief?! Depriving a gravely ill person of their necessities...how cruel…how AWFUL!" He whined with a pout. "What if I had DIED!?"

"It was just a sneeze."

“JUST?!”

She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Was he really –wait. It was Tamaki. She already knew the answer to that question. She walked off and slid the bouquet of pink trimmed roses into the vase before returning to set the display in front of him. “Does this look alright?"

"Hiih!..." Damn. There it went. His body trembled and he caught the violent paroxysm in the crook of his arm, shuddering. "Hnxtchhh! Ehh—ehhstchhh!...Nstchhhihh!”

Haruhi cringed at the mist that had threatened to dodge his arm and wander over her way. “Ever heard of the term ‘say it, don’t spray it’?”

Tamaki colored and hastily felt the impulsive urge to sulk in a corner somewhere. “You’re right! For all I know I could be unknowingly passing this dreaded disease onto you! Oh, Haruhi! My poor daugh—”

“Are you quite finished, Tamaki?”

The sound of a third voice captured the other two hosts’ attention and drew their heads towards a dark-haired young man with glasses. The vice president, Kyouya Ootori, was the very essence of the “cool” type he portrayed in the Host Club as he approached the other two, carrying his infamous black notebook beneath one of his arms. His polished stone eyes gazed at Haruhi idly before relocating to rest on his best friend, who looked ready to leap into his arms.

“Mother-dearest!” Tamaki began in despair, sniffling pathetically for emphasis, “I’m dyingggg!”

Haruhi sighed at this and resisted the urge to run a hand down the length of her face. “You’re not dying, senpai.”

As calm and collected as ever, Kyouya removed the hands that had clutched at his top and set them where they belonged at Tamaki’s sides. Afterward, he adjusted his glasses and inquisitively peered into the watery, violet orbs ahead. “What exactly are you feeling, if I may ask?”

The slightly taller male began to pace, occasionally extending his arms to support his theatrical performance. “It’s simply dreadful! I…I’ve never felt so wretched! My eyes are constantly watering, and I can’t seem to rub the itch out of them!”

As the other continued on his rant, Kyouya had begun to absently scribble something down in his notebook, pausing occasionally to look up before returning to his pen.

Abruptly, the flow of words stopped.

Both the bespectacled boy and Haruhi directed their eyes to the blond to find him frozen in place. His shoulders were stiffened, and his breathing became uneven while his pinkish nostrils quivered. Luckily, Kyouya managed to pluck his own handkerchief from the inside of his uniform coat and offer it to the afflicted one, who immediately pressed it into the lower portion of his face just in time to catch the vicious assault.

“Hhhh...hiieextchhhhhhsh!Nhh...”

“Bless you,” Haruhi commented, slightly surprised that his expulsions were so loud and aggressive for his charming nature.

A thoughtful ‘hmm’ was the only response from Kyouya as he continued to write.

Tamaki sniffled pitifully and kept the royal blue cloth in place while flopping back in his chair. On the positive side, at least he had his two most precious people with him in his final hours. Snuffling, he lowered the handkerchief and sighed.

“Tamaki, can I ask you something?”

The fallen king looked up, albeit reluctantly, and tilted his head.

Kyouya took this as a response to continue. “Have you taken your allergy medication today?” he inquired coolly.

Haruhi gaped. “A-allergies?” It wasn’t possible, was it? There was absolutely no way that Tamaki could have had such an affliction when he more or less bathed in rose petals and girls’ perfumes each day.

The boy in question immediately opened his mouth to protest against such an audacious allegation, though paused and blinked his eyes large when he realized something. “I…I didn’t have time this morning. I overslept and wasn’t able to take…” He shook his head and stood, glaring at the Ootori accusingly. “I don’t have allergies!”

Kyouya shut his notebook and casually nudged his glasses to rest at a higher point along the bridge of his nose. “On the contrary. You’ve had them since you were ten. Did you think you were taking vitamins all this time?”

Tamaki blanched and failed to produce a challenging remark. No one had ever said a thing! He’d just arrive at the breakfast table, eat, take the pills that were provided beside his plate, and be on his way. Eventually, his voice returned. “So… I’m not dying…?” he asked quietly.

“I’m afraid not,” Kyouya sighed.

Tears of joy replaced allergic ones and leaked down the second year’s face as he turned to Haruhi and took her hands within his own. “Did you hear that?! I’m going to liiiive!” He pulled the small-framed girl into his arms and held her tightly.

“I…can’t breathe…s-senpai…!”

“Neither can I! These blissful emotions are just too much!”

“I hope you realize that Haruhi won’t be able to pay off her debt if you continue to constrict her like that,” Kyouya added, causing the emotional adolescent to release the brunette, who gasped for air the moment she became free from his bone-crushing embrace.

Having regained his charm and brilliant charisma, Tamaki waltzed about, projecting happiness all over the place, before turning to stand beside his two companions. “To think,” he began, combing a set of manicured fingernails through his golden hair, “I honestly feared for the worst and believed myself to be contagious!”

“I could have told you that you weren’t contagious,” Haruhi deadpanned.

“Yes, well! It’s better to be safe than sorr—”

“Hii'stchhu!”

Haruhi blinked and looked over at the second boy, who was lowering a fist from his nose and offering a courteous ‘excuse me’. On the other hand, Tamaki’s eyes widened at the sheer irony that hit him like a ton of rocks.

Needless to say the blond didn’t make an appearance at school for the next few days due to being in heavy quarantine.

End.

Wahaha! We hoped you all liked iiiiit!

[kestrel]

OMG!!!!!!! Tamaki!!!!!!!!!

Loved it. You're awesome!

[PetalsAndThorns]

Oh, my, god. That was absolutely WONDERFUL! You captured Tamaki's personality perfectly not to mention Kyouya and Haruhi. This is one of the cutest fics I've read here in awhile! I'll bet there were some parental problems in the host club for a little while after this XD

[Spoo]

@ kestrel:

Hee, it's not just me who wrote this, remember. Baniira-chan is awesome-ER for writing the first half!

@PetalsAndThorns:

Squeee!! I'm so glad you liked it!! We worked hard and laughed/squealed a lot, but we got the job done, haha. I can guarantee you that that were some serious parental issues afterwards. XD We might write a second chapter someday involving the twins.

[MonkeyMan]

AAAHHH!!! Omg, it's been so long since I've even though of OHSHC.

This fic was bliss- short sweet, well written, and who could resist Tamaki's eh... Tamaki-ness? XD It's hard not to like him,even if he is a drama queen.

Very well done, Spoo.

[Spoo]

AAAHHH!!! Omg, it's been so long since I've even though of OHSHC.

This fic was bliss- short sweet, well written, and who could resist Tamaki's eh... Tamaki-ness? XD It's hard not to like him,even if he is a drama queen.

Very well done, Spoo.

Tamaki is amazing. I purposely tried not to like him when I first got into OHSHC, because everyone else was obsessed with him, but I found myself unable to just ADORE him AND his theatrics. He's wonderful! Anyway, I'm glad you liked it, but full credit doesn't belong to me. Teh Ninjin (Baniira-chan) wrote the first half.

[lalaland~]

OHSHC!!!! Someone (well 2 people) actually did a fic!!!

This was awesome, I especially loved the twist at the end XD

[Guest]

Despite a) not knowing what on earth this fandom is and b ) not liking male sneezes in the slightest, very cool. Well written. Congratulate Baniira-chan as well, but I'm sure you deserve credit as well.

Awesome...

[Spoo]

@lalaland~:

Thaaat's right! It was only a matter of time before this fandom was sneeze-a-fied! The twist was Baniira-chan's idea. XD We wanted to make it funny, and have Tamaki freak out one last time, so we decided to throw in a casual Kyouya sneeze to make it seem like Tamaki was contagious. Hahaha. He believed it anyway!

@kushami6:

Maybe it's a good thing you're not familiar with this series. It's CRAZY! And veryvery addicting. Like potato chips. I'm glad you liked it, and thank you. I had fun adding some spice to this!

[Guest]

Well crazy is my speciality in the real world, second only to... not crazy

[Yuzuki]

Great story!

I love Ouran sooo much I pounced on the story as soon as I saw it! XD

Actually Kyouya is so composed most of the time it wud be epic to make him suffer....is that evil I wonder?

[Spoo]

Great story!

I love Ouran sooo much I pounced on the story as soon as I saw it! XD

Actually Kyouya is so composed most of the time it wud be epic to make him suffer....is that evil I wonder?

Squee! Isn't Ouran great? Glad you liked it! Also, no, it isn't evil to make Kyouya suffer. >__> He deserves it.

[Yuzuki]

I can never decide who my favourite character is in this show cos I love so many of them

But I think Kyouya, Kaoru and Tamaki are my top 3

[snuffles]

That's just wonderful! And OMG that last sneeze caught me by surprise, I'm still drooling over it!

This definitely fills the void of being deprived of a Tamaki sneeze while he was sick! I love it!

[daystar428]

I love Ouran, good job keeping everyone in character. I loved reading this! Tamaki is such a cutie pie

[Spoo]

@Yuzuki:

Kyouya's my favorite. Followed closely by Kasanoda and Tamaki. <33

@snuffles:

Your icon is made of WIN! ajlsfj;dslfs;df;;!! I love it!! Okay, now that that's outta the way... We simply HAD to have a Kyouya!sneeze to wrap everything up. Dude! I was bummed, too, when Tamaki's cold didn't involve any sneezing. It was just coughing, sniffles, and groaning, haha. Though, that one shot where he has a tissue pressed against is nose is quite lovely.

@daystar428:

Tamaki's adorable! Glad you liked ittt!

[scent]

@lalaland~:

Thaaat's right! It was only a matter of time before this fandom was sneeze-a-fied! The twist was Baniira-chan's idea. XD We wanted to make it funny, and have Tamaki freak out one last time, so we decided to throw in a casual Kyouya sneeze to make it seem like Tamaki was contagious. Hahaha. He believed it anyway!

@kushami6:

Maybe it's a good thing you're not familiar with this series. It's CRAZY! And veryvery addicting. Like potato chips. I'm glad you liked it, and thank you. I had fun adding some spice to this!

I had the feeling that it was a male allergy story. Those are my fav.

[Spoo]

I had the feeling that it was a male allergy story. Those are my fav.

I'm torn between male cold/male allergy. It's tough! I think I lean more towards male allergy.

[Yuzuki]

lol I love that episode with Casanova kun! MA!

[Spoo]

lol I love that episode with Casanova kun! MA!

Omg, that was the best! When he walked in on Haruhi changing... ahaaa. "M-ma...MA!" Hilarious! He's actually on my list to torture. Next up is the twins, though. I'm halfway done with that chapter.

[Yuzuki]

OMG totally looking forward to that!!!!!

[Guest]

Careful not to threadjack guys

[Mitsu]

omg this is PERFECT. you captured the characters with such finesse!