Negative Reactions

[Guest Saoirse]

This is sort of a semi-spinoff from the "Who have you told" thread we have going on now.

I just have a few questions about negative reactions.

Have you ever had a negative reaction from somebody? If you have, has it completely stopped you from telling other people? Are you honestly far more cautious than you'd been before?

If you haven't had a negative reaction, how do you think you would respond to it? Do you think you would still tell people at the rate you're currently telling them (this is assuming you've told anyone at all, of course)?

Personally, I've never had a negative reaction to telling someone about the fetish. I've told quite a few people, probably upwards of twenty (and I've only been with one person), but nobody's responded with anything worse than a "that's really weird." Considering people tell me I'm weird all the time (I am! ), I just shrug it off. For every "that's really weird" response I've had, I've had a "that's really interesting" response or two. Generally, people forget about the fetish soon after I first tell them I have it, so it's never occurred to me that it's a big deal. Reading the board, it seems like it IS a big deal to some people, and I wonder why. Not begrudging them their opinion, of course, as it's just as valid as mine is, but I am curious.

I apologize for the overuse of parenthesis in this post, as I am rather fond of them.

[Guest]

I had one. I've dealt with it by treating it as a joke around anyone who heard it from her (she soread it). Most people think she's making it up.

Don't worry about it though, some people will always be uncomfortable with it. Thats life.

[The Mute Poet]

I definitely think it would have affected how comfortable I was with telling people if my intial experience hadn't gone as well as it did. I certainly don't think I'd have ended up telling so many people, and likely would have just restricted it to those I dated. That said, I'm kinda glad it went well, and became something I was ok being more open with.

And never apologise for your use of parentheses (You'll notice I'm equally enamoured with them haha).

[sfyrist]

I didn't tell anyone until - a couple of months ago, actually, and that friend couldn't have been nicer.

But almost ten years ago a "friend" got nosy on my computer (this was before I discovered sneeze fetish sites, back when I still thought I was the only one) and started making comments about my "strange infatuation" with reading things about sick people. She was one of those weird "I must at all times have an upper hand because I define myself by my Alphaness" types, so she kept it tucked away as something to use against me. Any time we had any kind of a conversation about sexual morals or behavior or even relationships she would bring it up, to suggest I was too disgusting to be allowed an opinion, too skewed from normal for anything I thought to matter.

She did this very insidiously and consistently while I was unfortunately cosigned on a lease with her, and it really screwed with my sense of self and just - everything. I'm a survivor of sexual abuse, and it took me years to feel like I wasn't "damaged" in that area, and then about the time I'm feeling comfortable in my skin again, that happened. It's very, very easy to make survivors feel disgusted and ashamed about their sexuality even if it doesn't have anything unusual about it.

I think that's probably what kept me lurking for so long once I did find out there were more people out there. I'd never felt ashamed of the fetish itself, I was just afraid because people suggesting I was disgusting sexually was something that really messed with me regardless of their reasons. And like I said, once I got on these sites, lurked, joined the boards, then told my RL friend - no one cared. My friend better than didn't care, she wrote me a whole long thing about exactly what it *didn't* mean (anything bad in any way) about me.

I'm not one to talk about my preferences in RL in any case, but if for whatever reason I do these days, I'm not hiding anything.

[Lynne]

There's another recent thread about this here.

[Guest Saoirse]

There's another recent thread about this here.

Oh, man, I'm sorry! I did a very quick look-over the recent posting history and I didn't even see that! Sorry about that.

[Bombast]

There's another recent thread about this here.

And probably a few hundred more before that.

600 posts yay!

[The Mute Poet]

No worries, Saoirse, the fact people already replied shows that they'd missed it too, or that at least your question was plenty different, so everyone benefits

And congrats Bombast

[Greystone]

I have only told a few women about my sneezing related fetish, which is not actually a sneezing fetish as such but a fetish for having girls blow their nose in my face. Most found it odd and some found it totally disgusting but one I told offered to do it to me when I told her in an internet chatroom. It came up in conversation over domination play when I was talking to her about things I would like her to do to me. Unfortunatly she didn't live near enough to me.

I have never told any other men about my fetish but don't mind telling women about it. But I know one of my old male friends also has this fetish because many years ago I remember him asking his girlfriend to blow her nose in his face, but in the end she would only spit in his face. This was when we were teenagers though and used to do all sorts of adventurous things.

I think my fetish is more related to getting wet and messy than sneezing as I am also into the wet and messy scene. As what is the most ultimate way of getting messy than having some girl blow her nose in your face.