This fetish and your devolpment

[lolerskates]

Im sure there are some of you out there who have had this fetish as long as you can remember. I, personally, remember sneezes giving my body a sexual response as early as 4 years old. for those of you out there like me, how did this effect your development?

Personally, I feel it is the root of a lot of the anxiety problems i suffer from today. Because of the fact that i did not understand the sexual response i was feeling, I grew up thinking that I was the only one that this "strange feeling" happened to. Because of this, i grew up thinking I was not "normal". That feeling of being "abnormal" ingrained itsself deeply within my mind. its a feeling i cant shake even to this day, and it causes alot of anxiety.

[Vetinari]

I have discussed this with someone else recently because one thing that has often struck me is that many people on here have experienced some very traumatic feelings associated with early awareness of sexuality followed by feelings of guilt and isolation. It seems to me that I was very lucky. I was aware from an early age that I liked sneezing but there was never any feeling whatsoever that those feelings were wrong or dirty. In fact I suspect that for a while I assumed everyone else had them too although it must have dawned on my consciousness at some point that that wasn't the case.

I can recall when I was younger having a friend who tended to sneeze when her nose was bumped. For a while I tried to encourage her to do it herself (which she did to oblige me a few times) and then she told me she didn't like it, after which I am sure I spent a while trying to make it happen accidentally. Finally I must have learned that attempts to induce her that way were uncomfortable to her so I stopped. It never crossed my mind to ask anyone to induce in a more direct way, even though at some point I did learn to induce myself, actually taught my my sister. It strikes me that there is something very passive about the way I have reacted in all this.

As a young adult I was never very good at pushing forward my needs or desires. I enjoyed sneezing when it came my way and when it didn't that was just normal life. I induced myself but the realisation I might be able to induce others didn't really occur until quite late and when I did finally suggest it to someone they were initially accommodating but then brushed it aside and because I was so unassertive I didn't make any attempt to explain myself further. I think my inability to put my needs first (I saw marriage as an "end" that I wanted to achieve, rather than as a part of an ongoing relationship as it should have been) has caused me far more trauma than the fetish itself. Throughout I felt no guilt about the fetish, only in pushing myself forward so the fetish, as an important part of me that got pushed aside had some importance in making my life less satisfactory however the problems were not centred around the fetish but only around my lack of assertiveness.

Hmmm...I'm not sure I have answered your question in any kind of useful way. Oh well, never mind!

[The Mute Poet]

Well I believe my case is alot like Vet's in that I was lucky enough to get enough subtle cues while still young as to how sneezing affected me differently than others. I too did the whole "sneezing with a friend" thing when I was about 4, and her eventually getting bored of the game and later all-out refusal to play it was likely the first hint that not everyone else out there was like me with regards to loving sneezing...

I never equated it to sexuality until puberty though, but was pleasantly surprised when I realised just how everything tied together: "oh... cool". Somehow I never really felt much guilt over it; just saw it as one of my own personal quirks... so it was almost the equivalent of the young boy sneaking peeks at his dad's porn magazines - I knew I had to be damned discreet and careful, but in the end there was nothing really wrong with it as long as it felt right and wasn't hurting anyone.

I was also careful not to let the fetish "define me" as well, much as it was still such a huge part of my life, I knew that just because my tastes differed so greatly in one aspect from everyone else it didn't actually mean that I differed so greatly as a person. I actually think the fetish has made me far more friends than it's ever cost me

To be honest, I had more social development problems from always being "that smart kid" who didn't know how to turn it off in social situations until I was about 13/14, so as a result I ended up intimidating alot of people and ultimately isolating myself until later in high school where I finally realised what was really happening.

[Vetinari]

Somehow I never really felt much guilt over it; just saw it as one of my own personal quirks...

That summarizes my feelings on it really rather well. It strikes me that many people seem to fear being different and fear being discovered. It didn't bother me to be different and I had very little fear of being found out, perhaps because I never did anything very active about it. I didn't draw or write or collect anything. Until I had the internet I just privately enjoyed observations when and where they occurred.

[brownsville]

i was thinking about this the other day. I think in terms of my sexuality, i guess it has and it hasn't done me harm.

i'm a very visual/aural person sexually, and most of my fetishes are revolving around looks/sounds/clothing whatever, hence i never felt the need or the pressure to go out and experiment with other people as much as non-fetishists do. I still get most of my sexual satisfaction from fetish material, because i guess when its only you then you can do as you please and if i'm honest, nothing with anybody else can really top that. this fetish allows me to please myself and be 100% selfish.

It's this part where i think it's caused me damage in my intimacy with others that i don't feel the "need" to have sex with my partner, as my only sexual outlet, and i don't associate physical closeness with sex as much as others do. obviously i'd miss it eventually, but i got my own separate sexuality going on, thats reliant on me. so for me it's a double edged sword.

i love coming on here, i guess it's the only place in the world where many of us can speak openly about our fetishes and sexualities!

[High on Lullabies]

Guys, just a reminder about being careful with how explicit you are regarding discussions of sexual behaviour or responses by yourself or others at young age (i.e. under-18). The level of what's been said in the thread so far is okay so please keep it that way. Thank you.

Now, as you were, ladles and jellyspoons!

[Trillium]

I've got to agree with Vet & Mute Poet -- I had (and have) no guilt, no sense that I was "abnormal,"** no anxiety over having the fetish. In fact, I never even realized it was a fetish until around the time that I joined this board (only 2 some years ago). Maybe that makes me dumb not to have recognized that I have a fetish, but more likely I just never thought it was that odd to like sneezing or that liking sneezing in that way made me that different from anyone else. It just wasn't (and isn't) that big a deal.

** One of my friends here is amused that I don't think I'm abnormal because I have the fetish. What's "normal," anyway? We're all in different flavors, like Baskin-Robbins ice cream, right? Then I will be Jamoca Almond Fudge.

[Guest]

I was maybe 6 and got a "funny feeling" hearing someone sneeze, and sat on the floor crying about it. But aside from that time, its not negetively affected me. Bad reactions I've had have made me scared, and I'm even more caring than usual when there's sneezes () but thats the extent to which I can think atm.

[Guest )Swing(]

I've got to agree with Vet & Mute Poet -- I had (and have) no guilt, no sense that I was "abnormal,"** no anxiety over having the fetish. In fact, I never even realized it was a fetish until around the time that I joined this board (only 2 some years ago). Maybe that makes me dumb not to have recognized that I have a fetish, but more likely I just never thought it was that odd to like sneezing or that liking sneezing in that way made me that different from anyone else. It just wasn't (and isn't) that big a deal.

** One of my friends here is amused that I don't think I'm abnormal because I have the fetish. What's "normal," anyway? We're all in different flavors, like Baskin-Robbins ice cream, right? Then I will be Jamoca Almond Fudge.

Yeah, agree completely with this. "Normal" is often a poor term defined to outlaw those people don't like.

I never used the term "fetish" in association with what I always just thought of as "liking sneezing" until discovering this board, but there was a long gap between me first noticing sneezing was, well, interesting, and it becoming notable in a sexual way.

[Aceofblades]

For me, it's coincided very closely with puberty,the first girl I had a crush on, was the first that I started to enjoy sneezes from.

[W.I.N.]

I can't say that I think this has adversely affected my development in any way.

I learned early on that I had some sort of fascination with sneezing that other people didn't, while I was watching TV. The good thing about kids' shows is that they think sneezing is hilarious, and so they'll tend to put a lot in. Good times.

I may be neurotic about a whole bunch of things, but they're unrelated to the fetish. Or, at least, being neurotic about the fetish is a result, not a cause, if you follow.

~W.I.N.

[confetishcake]

My fetish has helped define me in many ways. Its become such a large part of me that I couldn't imagine myself being the same without it. I, as many others here, was...for lack of a better word, exposed to it very early in life. So early that I do not remember a time when sneezing etc. did not make me feel all bubbly inside. In fact I think its helped me to mature in some ways, and persuaded me to be a more sexually open person.

Though there are the downsides, I do have some trouble with anxiety and paranoia. As well as being etmephobic which, oddly enough, tends to form a trend with sneeze fetishists. I do have a number insecurities that link back to it. There was guilt, and there was shame. But I'd rather have it then not have it, for it can be a conforting thing thats also helped me grow as a person.

[whymilk]

I used to feel really guilty but I haven't for a long long time. Ever since I came onto the forum and learned that I wasn't alone it was all good

[Guest )Swing(]

Though there are the downsides, I do have some trouble with anxiety and paranoia. As well as being etmephobic which, oddly enough, tends to form a trend with sneeze fetishists.

Entomophobic? As in, dislike of insects? That's really interesting, I never knew that.

I have always, as long as I can remember, had a hate of moths and craneflies. Never had the slightest clue that was a pattern among sneeze fetishists.

[Guest]

I think she means ematophobic- fear of vomit and associated things.

[Secret]

There was a short period in my youth where I was depressed over my fetish, but I've always thought of myself as weird and I've always had a small hope that it was possible that other people have it, but they don't reveal it. The sneeze fetish has helped me be certain of my sexuality, and I'm thankful for that. Plus I don't think of my fetish as odd anymore because of this forum and seeing as I have other abnormalities.

[Guest )Swing(]

I think she means ematophobic- fear of vomit and associated things.

Ah right. Well I'd find that very interesting as well, as I 100% emphatically have that too. Was aware of it before I even became remotely aware of any real interest in sneezing.

(Though TBH I'm always amazed by people NOT having a pathological hatred of nausea. I mean, it's just... ugh Beyond horrible)

[confetishcake]

Entomophobic? As in, dislike of insects? That's really interesting, I never knew that.

I have always, as long as I can remember, had a hate of moths and craneflies. Never had the slightest clue that was a pattern among sneeze fetishists.

I think she means ematophobic- fear of vomit and associated things.

Haha. Oh no I'm sorry. I mispelled it. Thank you Kushami, that was what I meant.

Although oddly enough I do have both. Lol.

[Always]

Entomophobic? As in, dislike of insects? That's really interesting, I never knew that.

I have always, as long as I can remember, had a hate of moths and craneflies. Never had the slightest clue that was a pattern among sneeze fetishists.

I think she means ematophobic- fear of vomit and associated things.

Haha. Oh no I'm sorry. I mispelled it. Thank you Kushami, that was what I meant.

Although oddly enough I do have both. Lol.

Really? A pattern amoung sneeze fetishists?

Well thank explains it O.o

I am a crazy emetophobic, I get the worse anxiety attacks

and I'm sort of an emtomophobic, but it's more aracnophobic (sp?)

[Meowcat]

I think the effects have been positive and negative, mostly positive. I feel a lot more open-minded because of this fetish.. and I guess sexually free?

My fear of vomit and my sneeze fetish developed in really similar ways... both things came out of a preoccupation with sickness. I hated the amount of attention I got when I was sick.. it humiliated me so deeply that I think my fetish and phobia were formed (opposite ends of the spectrum?) I never asked people to sneeze for me, but I would ask people a lot of questions about allergies/sickness. I used to be obsessed with all the kids who had asthma... I had a coughing fetish. At age 9, I asked a friend of mind what she did before throwing up.. I guess because I had a lot of anxiety about it. She said "I don't know, I guess I cough?" From that day on, my coughing fetish completely went away.. and now coughing tends to make me nervous. My fetish became 100% sneezing after that. I almost wish it was still coughing sometimes, just because it seems like people would find it less weird. I could be wrong

I have a lot of issues, but I don't think my fetish caused any of them. ^^; I do have bad anxiety for unrelated reasons

[Wishing]

Somehow I never really felt much guilt over it; just saw it as one of my own personal quirks...

That summarizes my feelings on it really rather well. It strikes me that many people seem to fear being different and fear being discovered. It didn't bother me to be different and I had very little fear of being found out, perhaps because I never did anything very active about it. I didn't draw or write or collect anything. Until I had the internet I just privately enjoyed observations when and where they occurred.

I think what Vet and The Mute Poet have said here sums it up pretty well for me. I do believe that the fetish has had an effect on my development (having had it for as long as I can remember), but it's been more positive than negative. I did go through a period of mild depression of it when I was younger, especially during puberty (when it became more apparent that it wasn't just a fascination with sneezing I had, but that it 'did something else to me' as well, to put it politely!!). For a long time it made me feel like some weird freak, and I convinced myself that I had to be the only person in the world who had feelings like that. I didn't even know it was called a fetish until I found this forum, just that sneezing had some kind of strange effect on me that was both frustrating and yet very pleasant at the same time. Like Vet, I don't think I have ever been worried about being found out, as I wasn't the kind of child to do anything to draw attention to myself in that way, such as drawing, writing or collecting stuff, etc. It's only since I've had the internet that I have been able to indulge myself in the kind of stuff I do now, such as reading sneezy stories, listening to wavs and sharing experiences on this forum. Until then it was a case of observe privately and enjoy (and in addition to that, enjoy my own sneezes which 'do it' for me as well). Over time, as The Mute Poet put it, I have come to accept it as an integral part of who I am...a personal quirk if you like, because it's only a part of who I am, not something that defines me as a person overall. From the point of view of someone who is lucky enough to enjoy my own sneezes as well, I think it has also helped me to accept and cope with my allergies a lot better than I would have done if I had been someone who hated sneezing (if that makes sense).

Oh and I happen to be emetophobic as well, although I'm not entirely sure how I would like that with my sneeze fetish. I consider myself a very caring person, and love to look after people when they are not well, but if someone throws up around me, I will run a mile....it's almost the opposite of the spectrum for me in that sense of the word. Interesting that there should be a link though, I think this has come up somewhere on the boards before now.

[tFM!]

I don't think that the fetish ever adversely affected my development; I don't recall ever feeling guilty about it, though it has caused sufficient awkwardness in some situations, which I can handle, due to the fact that I'm super awkward anyway. I do have pretty bad anxiety sometimes, but I don't think that any of it is fetish related, unless it's a mini-freakout over family sneezing or something to do with my emetophobia. I realized that I like sneezing from a very early age, but I never connected it sexually until I was about 12-13ish.

[Kiwifruit]

I was very aware of sneezing when I was quite little; I have some detailed memories from when we were moving house, I was only about three at the time. I found my friends' sneezes fascinating and my parents' horrific Nothing much has changed I have no idea what, if anything, set it off; I can't ever remember a time I didn't get pleasure out of looking up "sneeze" or "cold" or "sick" in the dictionary, or hiding from my parents whenever I had to sneeze.

One of my favourite sources of sneezing was books (I actually found this forum Googling "sneezing stories" while my parents were out xD). Whenever I came across a passage in a book where a character got sick or sneezed, I would read it over and over and come back to it frequently. I started writing sneeze fics at around six or seven and it definitely did things to me even at that age I never really thought that others shared this feeling associated with sneezing; I was always careful not to appear interested in it (all the games with my sister where I made our Pokemon figurines get sick excluded ) in any way and avoided the topic as much as possible. I'd never heard of fetishes before I came across this site and never really thought that there was anyone else who shared my interest, I always assumed I was the only one. I think that if I'd found out sooner I'd probably have been more comfortable with it; I always had a vague sense that I was wrong and that if I let the tiniest hint of interest show that I'd be a social outcast forever. After finding the forum, I got much more at ease about the whole thing.

One thing I remember was avoiding people for months after hearing that they had a cold or being horribly uncomfortable in their presence, not because I minded the idea of germs (I'm quite the opposite xD) but because I just couldn't stop thinking about it and felt sure that everyone would know After finding the forum, I got much more relaxed about that as well and don't think about it nearly as much. Whether that's because I've been somewhat "desensitised" or because I'm just more comfortable with having the fetish and knowing that I'm not a freak, I don't know

[Raining Strawberry]

Like a few other people here, overall my fetish didn't negatively impact my development, for the most part. For as long as I can remember I've been fascinated by characters in books sneezing-- I'd stare at the pictures and re-read the text endlessly.

I think I really liked sneezes on TV too, but usually watched TV with my sister and sometimes parents. So, if I'd seen a show or movie and knew a sneeze was coming, I'd get horribly nervous and would discretely position myself so I couldn't hear it; if a character sneezed when I didn't know it was coming, I would feel absolutely horrified, my blood would run hot and cold, just because my family was in the room and had seen it too. I seem to think that I would have enjoyed those sneezes far more if I'd been alone.

Haha I was so clueless about some things when I was little, and I'm not sure I consciously was aware of the fact that I liked sneezing, or at least not to the degree of "I love sneezes, they make me feel good, so I'm going to go observe people. " But I was writing sneezefic in my head in elementary school. I never really thought about it, never wondered if it was normal or if other people felt the same way. I guess I just accepted that other people were, for some reason, not affected by sneezes as I was, as they were so casual in reaction, whereas I got super-uncomfortable and embarrassed. It's led to many awkward moments.

I didn't even realize that what I had was a fetish until I was 18, when I first became interested in Youtube and got up the nerve one day to search for sneezing videos. It wasn't long before I started finding videos with comments underneath written by fetishists, and I was surprised that other people enjoyed sneezing too. It felt really amazing to find out what I had, that it had a name, and that there were people out there who also had it. Aaaaand soon enough I found this forum... started lurking... and eventually joined. I'm still blown away to read people voice my exact thoughts after reading sneezefic, looking at artwork, etc.

I like my fetish because I feel it gives me an interesting insight that others don't have. I took a queer studies course at my college during winter quarter and though I'm (mostly?) straight I felt I understood how it was to be a part of a sexual minority, to some degree at least. Now I'm enjoying observing sneezes in real life, as well as looking for 'em in the media. I've never felt ashamed; I just adopted it as another dimension of me.