O Lordy--

[Guest Tootsie2008]

My fiance and I have been dating for a full year, and he knows NOTHING of my fetish. I refuse to tell him, either, because it's awkward enough for me to deal with, let alone being reminded of it on a regular basis by my SO lol! I prefer to deal with this side of me in complete private. In fact, if we're sitting next to each other on the couch and I decide I want to go on this forum, I'll shut my computer if he even glances over.

Last night, however, we were laying in bed together and were talking comfortably for the first time in a while. (he's been recently laid off from his job and pretty down on himself as a result) anyway, I was thinking of making my own fan fic archive because there's a certain story I wrote that fan fiction.net wouldn't accept as it's a real person fic, and the fandom is rather obscure so there isn't a livejournal opportunity. unfortunately it includes quite a bit of sneezing, and I suddenly realized, "Ohhhhh!" and immediately shut my mouth when I realized I couldn't tell him the details.

My fiance teased me for a good half hour, because I call this "secret single behavior", or SSB He kept asking me what I was so afraid of, and I said, "Trust me, I'd be mortified if you ever found out." I promised it wasn't anything harmful, and it wasn't like I had a secret internet lover or anything LOL.

even though I've been dealing with this fetish for quite some time now (probably realized it officially in late 2002/2003 while I was sitting in a community college computer lab, and discovered the sneezefic yahoo group. I'd always been interested in this type of thing, but never thought there were others like me), I am still extremely private about it. So it mortified me that he kept pressing for details, and after a while I explained that it was something I preferred to keep "mum" about, and could we please forget I said anything at all?

Here's how the convo ended:

Fiance: "I just want to know one thing. Is it what you're DOING that's embarrassing to you, or the CONCEPT?"

Me: "The concept."

Fiance: "Okay, then."

That was the end of the discussion LOL. Maybe some day in the far distant future will I even consider bringing this out into the open, but I know for a fact it won't be anytime soon. only a few select people know about my fetish, and they are primarily on-line. I don't believe I've told anybody about it IRL, though they do know my obsession with torturing characters via illness

So yes, that's my interesting occurance that started last night in bed and continued through this morning haha!

This wasn't exactly an "observation", but it was a thought about sharing your fetish with a SO or a close friend

Share your own experiences with me if you like about how you "came out"? or if you ever did?

[Vetinari]

Fiance: "I just want to know one thing. Is it what you're DOING that's embarrassing to you, or the CONCEPT?"

Me: "The concept."

Fiance: "Okay, then."

I have nothing useful to add but I wanted to say that he sounds like a really cool person from what his attitude seems to be here!

[The Mute Poet]

That does sound like it was quite the close thing, Tootsie. I agree with Vet that he does sound rather open-minded and cool; qualities that should come in handy if/when you do decide to tell him

I came out the first time to a very close female friend (everyone knows at least one person like her - a girl who lives her life in the moment, isn't afraid of what people will think of her, and is fiercely loyal to her friends till the end) one night in high school when we were chatting about nothingness on the internet. I think that day we'd been talking about random statistics we'd found in a Maxim magazine (and laughing over how reliable they should be) - "78% of women find a man hotter if he's wearing work gloves, 83% of women have had a legitimate lesbian fantasy at some point in their lives, EVERYone has at least one sexual quirk or fetish - even if they don't realise it".

Obviously it was that last claim that caught my attention, and since I was talking with this particular girl (who I knew was open to just about everything) I was alot braver than I usually was with the subject, laughing and asking her what hers was. Which inevitably led her to asking me the same in defence, and she could tell I was holding out, so she cutely teased me about it for about an hour (likely alot like your fiancée did, Tootsie) until she eventually dragged it out of me, pleased as punch.

I was nervous as hell throughout all of it, but it was definitely kind of nice to get to talk to someone without the fetish for the first time ever - and took an even more exciting turn when she started thinking it was hilarious to announce every sneeze or need to sneeze to me while we were in class that year... Overall, it was well worth the effort of telling, I think, and the experience only helped me grow with regards to how I handle the fetish and who I am in general.

[Guest]

Sounds like a smart guy there. I dunno if he's the kind of person that could maybe help you explore the fetish? Some people find that. But well done on covering up your mistake.

[Guest Tootsie2008]

Oh he really is :-) I'm incredibly lucky, because I know that if I do decide to tell him, more than likely he'll just say, "oh...okay then." but right now I'm still so timid. that's what's so great about my fiance--he's VERY open-minded.

I think for me that would ruin the fantasy, and sadly fiance's sneezes aren't a turn on.

but I know he'd probably be very understanding if I did tell him...I'm just a wuss LOL.

and thank you! it was a close call o.O

Mod Note: Merged posts ~Mute

[Guest )Swing(]

That does sound like it was quite the close thing, Tootsie. I agree with Vet that he does sound rather open-minded and cool; qualities that should come in handy if/when you do decide to tell him

I came out the first time to a very close female friend (everyone knows at least one person like her - a girl who lives her life in the moment, isn't afraid of what people will think of her, and is fiercely loyal to her friends till the end) one night in high school when we were chatting about nothingness on the internet. I think that day we'd been talking about random statistics we'd found in a Maxim magazine (and laughing over how reliable they should be) - "78% of women find a man hotter if he's wearing work gloves, 83% of women have had a legitimate lesbian fantasy at some point in their lives, EVERYone has at least one sexual quirk or fetish - even if they don't realise it".

Obviously it was that last claim that caught my attention, and since I was talking with this particular girl (who I knew was open to just about everything) I was alot braver than I usually was with the subject, laughing and asking her what hers was. Which inevitably led her to asking me the same in defence, and she could tell I was holding out, so she cutely teased me about it for about an hour (likely alot like your fiancée did, Tootsie) until she eventually dragged it out of me, pleased as punch.

I was nervous as hell throughout all of it, but it was definitely kind of nice to get to talk to someone without the fetish for the first time ever - and took an even more exciting turn when she started thinking it was hilarious to announce every sneeze or need to sneeze to me while we were in class that year... Overall, it was well worth the effort of telling, I think, and the experience only helped me grow with regards to how I handle the fetish and who I am in general.

Mmm, unexpected bonuses. Always good.

Personally, I've never told anyone, and can't really see myself doing either. I tell my best friend just about everything to do with me, we've been best-friends for many years and have gone through quite a bit together, but I've never mentioned that to him. Just seems a bridge too far.

Funny thing was, he once said to me, out of the blue, "some people are turned-on by sneezing". That was a serious "...................... OMG!!!!!!!!!" moment. I, as innocently as I could, just asked "really?" I presumed, naturally, that he'd busted me - he's good at reading me, and vice-versa, we know each other that well.

But it turned-out he'd just seen some guy on Graham Norton (if you don't know who he is, he's a chatshow host with a love of the unconventional, and my best mate is a relgious watcher of his show) who was clearly a sneeze fetishist - not that I knew the term at the time - and ol' Norton had him talking about it. That was actually the first time I found-out that it was a widespread thing. Like so many, I'd just taken for granted up until then that I was the only one. Totally freaked me out for a few seconds though.

[Guest Tootsie2008]

I think it's healthy to have a secret, as long as it's not harmful to us in some way shape or form. I don't know if I'll ever reveal this info to anybody, but I have fun with it anyway.

[eblinx]

That was close... he does sound pretty cool though to be honest... im like you, im really shy about it, my bf told me about him having a thing for feet but im still not brave enough to tell him about me and sneezing!!!

[Guest Tootsie2008]

I'm glad he didn't really push me to tell him anything, and I doubt I will unless I'm exceptionally vulnerable lol!

[Aceofblades]

Definitely a nice save, I've never had a call that close, other than some people catching me staring at them when they sneeze or blow their nose(the later is even harder to conceal because the action lasts for a longer period) I definitely agree that part of keeping the fetish a secret is not just fear of having some one else know, but the fear of my enjoyment being reduced, if the other person knows it turns me on(and I'm not really sure why I feel that way, maybe I've just personalized/subconsciously believe it should remain a voyeuristic activity). In any case, thanks for sharing