feeling evil

[Guest snifflessneezypenguin]

Does anyone else feel bad that they have this fetish? I geel guilty sometimes because I enjoy it when people don't feel good and sometimes want to torture them with sneezes. I told my boyfriend this and he told me I wasn't evil, but it bugs me sometimes. Thoughts?

[Guest]

Well firstly even if this to be considered a "bad" fetish, evil would be an overstatement.

Its strange; on the one hand many of us would love to see someone totally consumed by sneezes and looking like they feel throughly horrible, but on the other hand we'd love to nurture them and make them feel better when they feel like that. There's certainly quandries. I prefer to think of it like a pleasure that I'm taking that will help me tolerate them if they're grouchy and bad tempered during their moment of weakness (in regards to colds or allergies). In regards to random sneezes, well I enjoy them a lot and I don't feel I should feel bad about this. Do you feel bad about enjoying the spectacle of a boxxing match?

[Vetinari]

I feel guilty sometimes because I enjoy it when people don't feel good and sometimes want to torture them with sneezes.

If someone doesn't feel good, for example from cold or allergy then you have nothing to feel guilty about unless you inflicted that upon them, for example by deliberately infecting them or by deliberately exposing them to the allergen without their permission. If you cause someone else to suffer then guilt is appropriate and if you don't like the guilt then the answer is simple. Don't do it.

If however someone allows you to "torture them" and you do it with the consent then they must be doing it for a reason, perhaps to please you, however that doesn't make you bad unless you forced them into it.

I enjoy watching people sneezing from colds but I didn't make them suffer, it just happened. I love the idea of contagion but I would not intentionally infect anyone, in fact I would go out of my way not to do so. My enjoyment therefore doesn't harm them in any way, in fact it may, as Kush said benefit them because I would have no hesitation in helping them out for example as I have no germnophobia whatsoever where colds are concerned. So feeling guilt for what you have not inflicted is pointless.

[Sneesee]

If someone doesn't feel good, for example from cold or allergy then you have nothing to feel guilty about unless you inflicted that upon them, for example by deliberately infecting them or by deliberately exposing them to the allergen without their permission. If you cause someone else to suffer then guilt is appropriate and if you don't like the guilt then the answer is simple. Don't do it.

If however someone allows you to "torture them" and you do it with the consent then they must be doing it for a reason, perhaps to please you, however that doesn't make you bad unless you forced them into it.

I enjoy watching people sneezing from colds but I didn't make them suffer, it just happened. I love the idea of contagion but I would not intentionally infect anyone, in fact I would go out of my way not to do so. My enjoyment therefore doesn't harm them in any way, in fact it may, as Kush said benefit them because I would have no hesitation in helping them out for example as I have no germnophobia whatsoever where colds are concerned. So feeling guilt for what you have not inflicted is pointless.

I probably couldn't have said it better myself. If you had nothing to do with it, there is absolutely no point in feeling guilty or evil. I know I don't.

Sometimes, because a lot of my friends know about this, I have a tendency to say things that may be slightly out of line if they are suffering. But, well, they know I have this fetish and can always tell me to shut up.

[CarellFan]

I sometimes feel that too, even knowing I haven't personally inflicted the suffering -- that secretly enjoying someone's suffering, no matter what caused it, is inherently 'wrong' and shameful and makes me some sort of sick perv. But it's way more common than you think, and I don't think it is wrong! You know the old expression about pain and pleasure being so closely linked... I think nearly everyone experiences these feelings on some level, and that fetishists just take it a step further by seeing an "erotic" potential in it as well. I think, in some ways, that we are simply being more imaginative!! But when it comes to doing the torturing yourself, then yes, you do need consent. I know that I couldn't enjoy myself if a partner wasn't into it, even if they did give their permission.

[Nevyn]

I used to beat myself up about this a lot in the past. I thought I was some kind of horrible monster because I get pleasure from seeing people in what could be considered a state of discomfort, vulnerability, even distress.

As time went by I realised several things:

I didn't choose this. Feelings over which I have no control cannot make me a bad person. I don't cause suffering in people - I don't give them colds or allergies, and if I enjoy seeing them sneeze it doesn't make their condition any worse.

Eventually I found that there are some wonderful people in internet-land who distribute wavs, observations or videos of their own sneezing because they understand that other people enjoy it, and in some cases they even take some pleasure and comfort from that. They tolerate or even share my kind of weirdness.

We are not alone.

But most importantly I came to understand that I had self-esteem issues that go deeper than guilt over my sexual preferences. I don't claim to understand all the psychology involved but I can say with absolute confidence that a love of sneezing is not the root of any evil. The only thing that could potentially make us "bad" people is inappropriate behaviour - eg stalking sneezy people or making them uncomfortable with sleazy comments, demands, etc. And that kind of behaviour has nothing to do with sneezing; people with any tastes can be selfish, stupid, or even evil.

A great many fetishes or sexual activities involve one person being more in control than another. At any given moment there are people all over the world spanking each other, tying each other up, and enjoying countless aspects of dominance or submission. Those of us who happen to enjoy sneezes are no worse or better than anyone else who enjoys, well, pretty much anything. We all just have to be responsible in how we go about it, and respect the feelings of those we interact with.