Blessing Should Be Outlawed

[Dawnie]

Sorry, guys, I'm totally pro blessing, from both the giving and receiving ends. My feeling is that blessings should be given freely and accepted graciously, but not be expected. I love it when I get blessed, but I'm not offended when I don't get blessed. Oh well, to each his own I guess.

Same here ShyGuy. This is me all the way.

[tma]

I'm wondering, if those of you who dislike blessing, perhaps dislike sneezing yourself in general? Because while I used to feel uncomfortable about being blessed, I got over it several years ago....when I really admitted to myself that I enjoyed sneezing, even in front of others. To those of you who don't like blessing...I suppose you could politely tell friends and coworkers not to bother blessing them because you think it's silly/pointless, but like Demosthenes, I think people should try to relax a little more about this. Yeah, people noticed if you sneezed, and it might have made you a little uncomfortable for a second...but the world isn't going to stop turning or anything.

No, I LOVE sneezing, which is the problem. I sneeze rarely enough as it is, but when I'm around people I know, I have to hold my sneezes in, which I hate doing.

You're right that the world won't stop turning, and I'd be able to live with it if people blessed me and then got on with life...which is the case 99.9% of the time. But then there's that awful 0.1% chance that they'll do something worse, like talk about your sneeze, imitate it, say that it's cute, make fun of it, etc. And that, I wouldn't be able to endure. It's almost the equivalent of discussing how good I am in bed.

This is probably why some fetishists hate blessing: because it's an acknowledgment of something that is sexual to them.

*nods* that's it for me. There are sometimes where secretly I'd sort of like to be by some some- but that would feel (to me) like having them say "you're hot"

That's also why even though sometimes I'd really *like* to say it to some people- I just can't seem to.

[Here Secretly]

There are so many issues with blessings. I, like the initiator of this post, hate it. It's my #1 reason not to sneeze in public. I had, in fact, almost gotten over it and I sneezed in my office and my secretary called bless you to me and I've not done it again since. Very annoying. That having been said, I know she's just doing what she was taught and that most folks think it's polite.

But that's just the thing, you see. We live in a very diverse world, and a lot of folks are sort of narrow-minded. They think you MUST bless or must NOT bless. I say do what the person sneezing wants. I agree with the post that said it's probably best not to bless those who stifle--they are TRYING not to get noticed, after all.

But here's another consideration that hasn't been mentioned yet. I'm Jewish, married to an atheist. Neither of us believes in blessing sneezers, for obvious reasons. He is often offended if someone EXPECTS him to bless them. It's the same, in his eyes, as expecting him to pray. He's not anti-religion (after all, he married a believer, didn't he?) but he doesn't want to be forced into it. And something I've never seen mentioned anywhere in the forum before (am I the only Jew with a sneeze fetish in the whole world?) even in the thread about cultural differences is the fact that in Judaism it's the person who sneezes who is expected to utter a blessing--and not over himself, no, just a blessing to G-d regarding the gift of life. If there are other Jewish people present, there is a response they can say TO that blessing, but the response is more a confirmation of the blessing rather than a blessing itself. I like this, not only because it's part of my own faith, but also because it throws the choice onto the person sneezing. If a person sneezes and says nothing, everyone ignores it, or maybe you get a quiet zie gezunt, but if you say the blessing, you get one back.

Whatever the case, I do wish people would be more sensitive all the way around to whether the person being blessed WANTS to be blessed. I remember being told in a customer service position years ago that the Golden Rule, treat others as you would be treated, is nice, but the Platinum Rule, treat others as THEY wish to be treated, is superior. I agree.

[Demosthenes]

But that's just the thing, you see. We live in a very diverse world, and a lot of folks are sort of narrow-minded. They think you MUST bless or must NOT bless. I say do what the person sneezing wants. I agree with the post that said it's probably best not to bless those who stifle--they are TRYING not to get noticed, after all.

How are you supposed to know what the person sneezing wants? Are you suggesting we ask some who just sneezed, "Would you like me to bless you?" Don't get me wrong, this "Platinum Rule" is probably a good idea, but it has certain complications, you see.

IMO, people who think they are "entitled" to be blessed, and think you are doing them a great disservice if you don't bless them are the same as people who are offended if you do bless them.

I guess when it comes to blessing sneezers, I tend to think that there's no real reason for it, but there's also no reason not to. In other words there's no reason for anyone to get worked up over it either way.

[Rhomberg Rabbit]

Seriously, can't anyone sneeze in peace??? I had to hold in so many good sneezes because I was afraid that people would bless me. And when strangers do it, it's even worse because it's unexpected. The reason I'm more comfortable with sneezing around strangers is because they usually don't say anything. But when they do say "bless you", I want to smack them.

I say we start an anti-blessing precedent. Let's tell everyone that blessing started out as a superstition and needs to die out. People should be allowed to sneeze and be left alone.

HELL, YEAH!

Am I the only Jew with a sneeze fetish in the whole world?

Birds of a feather....

Mod Note: Merged posts ~Mute

[lk]

There are so many issues with blessings. I, like the initiator of this post, hate it. It's my #1 reason not to sneeze in public. I had, in fact, almost gotten over it and I sneezed in my office and my secretary called bless you to me and I've not done it again since. Very annoying. That having been said, I know she's just doing what she was taught and that most folks think it's polite.

But that's just the thing, you see. We live in a very diverse world, and a lot of folks are sort of narrow-minded. They think you MUST bless or must NOT bless. I say do what the person sneezing wants. I agree with the post that said it's probably best not to bless those who stifle--they are TRYING not to get noticed, after all.

But here's another consideration that hasn't been mentioned yet. I'm Jewish, married to an atheist. Neither of us believes in blessing sneezers, for obvious reasons. He is often offended if someone EXPECTS him to bless them. It's the same, in his eyes, as expecting him to pray. He's not anti-religion (after all, he married a believer, didn't he?) but he doesn't want to be forced into it. And something I've never seen mentioned anywhere in the forum before (am I the only Jew with a sneeze fetish in the whole world?) even in the thread about cultural differences is the fact that in Judaism it's the person who sneezes who is expected to utter a blessing--and not over himself, no, just a blessing to G-d regarding the gift of life. If there are other Jewish people present, there is a response they can say TO that blessing, but the response is more a confirmation of the blessing rather than a blessing itself. I like this, not only because it's part of my own faith, but also because it throws the choice onto the person sneezing. If a person sneezes and says nothing, everyone ignores it, or maybe you get a quiet zie gezunt, but if you say the blessing, you get one back.

Whatever the case, I do wish people would be more sensitive all the way around to whether the person being blessed WANTS to be blessed. I remember being told in a customer service position years ago that the Golden Rule, treat others as you would be treated, is nice, but the Platinum Rule, treat others as THEY wish to be treated, is superior. I agree.

There certainly are other Jews with sneezing fetishes that I know of on this forum. I've corresponded with a couple over the years. Those were American, but there are a few Israelis here too.

But on this point of cultural difference, I seem to be on the outside; I didn't know about the tradition you describe. I suppose that's because while I was raised in a somewhat observant home, we weren't at all observant of reciting blessings for little occasions in daily life. We never wrote "G-d," either...so yeah, I was never Orthodox, and as I have gotten older, I've just gotten more secular. Maybe it's that secularism talking again, but while I can't stand things like school prayer or public benedictions at political events, I can't get worked up like your husband by the analogy of expecting blessings to coerced prayer. If someone somehow emphasizes the "God" in the "God bless you," OK, but to me blessing is so thoroughly secular at this point that religion doesn't come into it.

So I never associated blessing with Judaism or religious differences; to me, blessing is significant just in the more general way: it's someone openly emphasizing that you have sneezed. While there are very special, very private circumstances where that could be very exciting to me, my more usual response is: no way. Given the way I am emphasizing sneezing in my own mind, I don't need other people emphasizing it for me in more public situations. (I don't sneeze in public, either.)

I can see why the custom you describe would get around the practical problem that Demosthenes rightly stresses. And yes, someone who stifles can be clear that they are trying to be discreet, so then there can be clear reason for others not to bless. But otherwise, it would be hard for everyone to act on your principle of doing what the sneezer wants, since it's not clear how this could be communicated.

[sneezedreamer]

I'm wondering, if those of you who dislike blessing, perhaps dislike sneezing yourself in general? Because while I used to feel uncomfortable about being blessed, I got over it several years ago....when I really admitted to myself that I enjoyed sneezing, even in front of others. To those of you who don't like blessing...I suppose you could politely tell friends and coworkers not to bother blessing them because you think it's silly/pointless, but like Demosthenes, I think people should try to relax a little more about this. Yeah, people noticed if you sneezed, and it might have made you a little uncomfortable for a second...but the world isn't going to stop turning or anything.

No, I LOVE sneezing, which is the problem. I sneeze rarely enough as it is, but when I'm around people I know, I have to hold my sneezes in, which I hate doing.

You're right that the world won't stop turning, and I'd be able to live with it if people blessed me and then got on with life...which is the case 99.9% of the time. But then there's that awful 0.1% chance that they'll do something worse, like talk about your sneeze, imitate it, say that it's cute, make fun of it, etc. And that, I wouldn't be able to endure. It's almost the equivalent of discussing how good I am in bed.

This is probably why some fetishists hate blessing: because it's an acknowledgment of something that is sexual to them.

*nods* that's it for me. There are sometimes where secretly I'd sort of like to be by some some- but that would feel (to me) like having them say "you're hot"

That's also why even though sometimes I'd really *like* to say it to some people- I just can't seem to.

Well, it makes sense to me that on some level, an acknowledgment might make you uncomfortable. So, point taken...not everyone who hates blessing dislikes their own sneezes. However, the vast majority of people who bless are NOT going to make fun of your sneeze, and I don't think blessers are any more likely to do that than non-blessers. I personally have never had anyone make fun of my sneeze in my entire life. Also, I'm pretty sure that blessing or no, non-fetishists forget that you sneezed after like a second or two, unless you continue to sneeze or talk about it.

I also understand what was said before about stiflers not wanting to draw attention to themselves, and therefore not being fans of blessing. However, I don't think ANYONE outside of the fetish community would even consider this.

Concerning the religion issue, I really consider blessing to be pretty much secular at this point. Blessing people does not necessarily mean that a person is Christian or have any kind of a Christian agenda...it's just seen as polite by many people, or a habit.

I'm going to agree with Demosthenes yet again...there's no need for blessing, and no need not to.

[Celeb Obsessed]

There are so many issues with blessings. I, like the initiator of this post, hate it. It's my #1 reason not to sneeze in public. I had, in fact, almost gotten over it and I sneezed in my office and my secretary called bless you to me and I've not done it again since. Very annoying. That having been said, I know she's just doing what she was taught and that most folks think it's polite.

But that's just the thing, you see. We live in a very diverse world, and a lot of folks are sort of narrow-minded. They think you MUST bless or must NOT bless. I say do what the person sneezing wants. I agree with the post that said it's probably best not to bless those who stifle--they are TRYING not to get noticed, after all.

But here's another consideration that hasn't been mentioned yet. I'm Jewish, married to an atheist. Neither of us believes in blessing sneezers, for obvious reasons. He is often offended if someone EXPECTS him to bless them. It's the same, in his eyes, as expecting him to pray. He's not anti-religion (after all, he married a believer, didn't he?) but he doesn't want to be forced into it. And something I've never seen mentioned anywhere in the forum before (am I the only Jew with a sneeze fetish in the whole world?) even in the thread about cultural differences is the fact that in Judaism it's the person who sneezes who is expected to utter a blessing--and not over himself, no, just a blessing to G-d regarding the gift of life. If there are other Jewish people present, there is a response they can say TO that blessing, but the response is more a confirmation of the blessing rather than a blessing itself. I like this, not only because it's part of my own faith, but also because it throws the choice onto the person sneezing. If a person sneezes and says nothing, everyone ignores it, or maybe you get a quiet zie gezunt, but if you say the blessing, you get one back.

Whatever the case, I do wish people would be more sensitive all the way around to whether the person being blessed WANTS to be blessed. I remember being told in a customer service position years ago that the Golden Rule, treat others as you would be treated, is nice, but the Platinum Rule, treat others as THEY wish to be treated, is superior. I agree.

I'm Jewish too, but I never heard about sneezers being the ones to say a blessing. That's bloody brilliant, though!

Sorry to hear about the secretary incident, I would have been so mad!

[cheech]

Seriously, can't anyone sneeze in peace??? I had to hold in so many good sneezes because I was afraid that people would bless me. And when strangers do it, it's even worse because it's unexpected. The reason I'm more comfortable with sneezing around strangers is because they usually don't say anything. But when they do say "bless you", I want to smack them.

I say we start an anti-blessing precedent. Let's tell everyone that blessing started out as a superstition and needs to die out. People should be allowed to sneeze and be left alone.

i dont mind people saying bless you.

but not to me, because i never ever sneeze infront of people, with the fear of being blessed or laughed at.

also, i cant bless people, i dont know why. if someone sneezes i cant say "bless you" it just dosnt come out.

i would like to though, i think its kinda cute.

i would make an exeption for a boyfriend or hot guy, then i would bless them if they sneezed.

oh & btw, i just joined this forum so im kinda new heh. i hope people are interested in what i have to say