A serious question

[Heavy-Chevy]

I've realized that my fascination with sneezing was a fetish since I was in middle school. I've tried to accept this but even now, more than 10 years later, I still haven't fully accepted it. There have been countless times where I wish I was more like everyone else. I was finally able to tell someone about the fetish. A few days ago me and a really good buddy of mine were talking about crazy sexual fetishes (he's told me about his dozens of times) and so I finally told him about this one. He thought it was a bit odd but overall he was pretty cool about it and thought it was interesting. Even though I had the courage to finally tell someone about it for the first time, I still can't help but feel embarrassed about this. But then again, I have no sexual experience at all because I tend to be shy when it comes to looking for a girlfriend. Perhaps that could have something to do with it?

So this got me thinking.. Has anyone else here still not fully accepted the fetish as a part of yourself?

[Nevyn]

I think it's fair to say that different people around here have very different experiences of understanding and accepting the fetish, but the short answer is yes. Personally I've fought battles with myself for years about the fetish (amonst other things) and gone from loving to hating it and back again, passing throught just about all points in between. Right now I feel better about it, and myself, than I have for a very long time, but that doesn't mean I won't have more relapses in the future.

For many of us accepting the fetish is a journey, it has bumps and twists and dead-ends, but also some great times along the way. I've sometimes envied people who don't have any of these issues, who just seem to be naturally totally confident and secure and at ease. But, you know, that's life. I've had some fascinating experiences, learned a lot about myself, and encountered some amazing people along my fetish journey, and I wouldn't trade any of that for a life of normality, so it's all good.

[wannablessedbe]

yeah, this is a serious, and important, question. for myself, I've been aware that sneezing turned me on since I was REALLY little (3 years old) and for a long time I was embarrassed about it for the simple reason that being horny when you're a kid can be a bewildering experience, and one you tend to want to keep private. I'm still really shy about it, and I've never told anyone in "real life," but I also know now that there are HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of sexual fetishes out there, and that they are WAY more common than you'd think; and also that ours, compared w/ a lot of others, is pretty damn vanilla.

there's a book I'd recommend to anyone struggling w/ these oddball feelings called "deviant desires," written by a human sexuality professor named katherine gates (I actually heard her give the lecture the book is based on at NYU a few years ago). the book doesn't discuss sneezing specifically, but she does have this giant map of all these different fetishes, and how they're all interconnected, and how common they all are, and sneezing IS on the map. her tone as a researcher and author is totally respectful, not at all patronizing (ie, 'check out these freaks!') and she definitely made me feel more "normal," for lack of a better word, by putting it in context. at this point, I feel more that it's a private thing for me than a source of embarrassment.

I should also add that this book is an easy read, filled with photos (not porn, just showing people all suited up for their various fetishes) and NOT at ALL an impenetrable academic tome.

[haymaker]

A serious question indeed.

Like the last poster I've been aware of my fetish from a very early age, and for me, its always been a very dominating factor in my life. And no, despite being 52 this year, I'm still not really comfortable with it. I'm in a relationship with someone who now knows, and is accepting, although not compliant - And actually I wouldn't want her to be (compliant)

Lets face it: Being a sneeze fetishist is really quite bizarre. I mean, if I wasn't a one, I'm sure I would find it so. You cannot possibly expect anyone, other than a fellow fetishist, to have very much empathy for our situation without finding it weird or funny.

Its also, and this is important, very impractical when your preferential source of arousal is so unreliable.

Its definitely a love/hate thing for me with a little bit more of the hate. I applaude those who have come out and found away to deal with this in a public way - but I'm not one of them.

In many ways I've been quite lucky: I'm not in an unhappy relationship. But if i was 22 and single, instead of 52 and married, I'd be looking for a date here with a fellow sf.

Of course, that alone is not enough, but its certainly something I would have tried.

[winterweakness]

Well i agree with haymaker on the fact that having a sneeze fetish is pretty bizarre. i have had a sneeze fetish since i was about 5 and i remember drawind Thomas the tank sneezing(dont ask why, cos well i dont even know why i did it. ) Sometimes i think why me? why cant i just be like normal girls my age? but im not normal and i guess its just something we have to live with. i have only told a couple of peolpe, and still yet to tell my boyfriend, who is always asking me if there is something about me that he doesn't know yet. i hate lying to him, and i know that if he doesnt accept me then he is not the right one for me but im just still so worried of wat he will think of me. So it gets in the way of things, its frustrating and pretty weird but i guess its just who we are and we just all have to accept the fact that sneezing is pre sweet.

[Trillium]

I have quite different views on this, but I thought I'd chime in to give the discussion a little variety and show the opposite side of the coin. Not that anyone's views are right or wrong, just that we all feel differently about the fetish, based on who we are and how we see the world.

I honestly can't recall how young I was when I first noticed I liked sneezing, and based on all the accounts here, I seem to be pretty unusual in that respect. And with my first boyfriend, who had terrible allergies, I began to realize the sexual aspect at around age 13 or so.

But, unlike many others here, I have never felt that it was weird, or bizarre, or abnormal of me to like sneezing in a sexual manner. In fact, I never even formally thought of it as a sexual fetish until a couple of years ago when I ran across this forum. I felt that liking sneezing sexually was just a part of me, just like having brown hair and brown eyes, or having a preference for the color blue. It's just what I like -- and how can that not be ok?

Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm comfortable with myself, but I felt that way even when I was much younger, at a time when I didn't like certain aspects of myself, such as my weight or my hair. However, I never have hated having the fetish, or hated that part of me that is attracted to sneezes. I suppose I never thought about it that much, until coming to this forum. I just accepted that it's the way I am.

And as time goes on, I find myself becoming much more comfortable with the fetish and talking with others (here or in real life) about sneezing, allergies, the whole enchilada. I'm sure that some day I will choose to share the fact that I do have a fetish with someone in real life (whether that be a friend or a lover), and I'll feel comfortable doing so. I think that it's very helpful to talk to others here who feel the same as I do, because it creates a certain emotionally intimate bond to share a secret like this with someone who completely understands how you feel. So thank heavens for this forum.

[SusieQusie]

Yeah, I’ve accepted the fetish. Does that mean I have to run out and tell the whole world? No, of course not, but I’m at a point in my life right now where I don’t feel like I have to discuss it any further than I already have with anyone. My boyfriend knows all about my fetish, he IS a fetishist, so what more do I have to live up to?

I realize I’m part of a very rare and special relationship, but I think I could accept my fetish without Bondi being there. Just because you keep something to yourself, doesn’t mean you’re ashamed of it. I’ll admit, I used to have some problems with it. As I wrote in my manifesto a while back, for a while I was mainly hung up on the word “fetish.” But this community helped, and I went through different phases for a few years until I ended up where I am now. Happy and comfortable. I don’t feel like I have to discuss anymore about my past or my future. It’s all pretty much evened out for me.

Sometimes I don’t even think about the fetish. I never forget I have it, but it’s not constantly on my mind. I could understand how it would be uncomfortable for someone absolutely felt like they could not control themselves in society when someone sneezes, but I can.

I think it’s perfectly normal to not want to talk about the fetish, personally. I think a fetish is personal and most people you come in contact with probably don’t really want to know. So I’ve accepted it for myself, and I don’t need anyone else to approve.