Depressed/Paranoid

[zneeze]

I've been getting a bit depressed lately, and a lot of it involves the fetish. I seriously often wish I didn't have it and was a "normal" person. I feel so paranoid whenever I even begin thinking about the topic in public, and I'm not sure what to do. I was considering avoiding the forums for a while, but I think that would actually hurt rather than help as they are in fact my most important social networks. :/

So I thought about it the other way - what if I just try to not think about the fetish in public, around people? That seems to be at least part of the problem, anyway. The issue with trying to do that, of course, is that when you try not to think about something, you think about it twice as much.

Does anybody have any advice? Maybe? And has anybody else even had this kind of problem before?

[Joal 555]

I'm sure we all have thoughts like these from time to time. I am not qualified to give you any "proper" advice but I would say to you this.....

What is "normal"? Things that some people consider "normal", others will find abnormal and vice versa. In other words it would seem to me that there is no such thing as "normal" per se.

And as long as we are not harming anybody, I don't think we should ever be ashamed of how we feel. On the contrary, I love feeling the way I do (even though like many, I have the ocassional doubt)

And finally, remember that you are among a community who understand how you feel so lean on us for some support if you need it.

Take care

[Mf1611]

I dont think u have any reason to be depressed about it. Its something you like and it should not depressed you i mean i guess if it really is that bad i guess u could try to avoid it but i think ik for me it would be hard to because it is one of my biggest fetishes.

[SomeoneRandom]

though i didn't know it was a fetish at the time or connect it to sexuality, i repressed my like for sneezing for years. i thought i was so weird that i refused to let my mind wander and fantasize about it like i did when i was young and i'd think about it as i drifted off to sleep... when i found this forum, i let it all out and i felt better! yes, i feel weird that i have this fetish, and yes, sometimes i wish i didn't have it. but repressing the thoughts didn't help. it still came back in the end.

please don't get depressed about it. i have that feeling, too -- especially at times like this, when i'm sitting in my dorm room reading this forum and i wish i could be looking at "normal" people porn instead! -- but it isn't worth it. it makes you different, but it makes you interesting, too, even if no one else knows about it.

*i'm really sorry if none of that seemed connected or make any sense -- i'm very overtired. (but i want to try to help anyway.)

[Jessie]

I felt pretty self-conscious about it growing up, but I've realized that on the complex scale that is sexuality, there are many weird and wonderful things that people are into, many just as "unusual" as sneezing, if not more so. My motto: if it feels good, and ain't hurting anyone, just go with it.

If it helps, here is why I have come to love my fetish:

*I can enjoy it in public, privately (oggling someone's body parts isn't exactly subtle, but paying attention to a sneezing person, especially if it's to bless or hand them a tissue, is, to the contrary, usually interpreted as caring concern)

*It has helped me to discover myself, sexually...unlike a LOT of women, I know what I like, and enjoy this affirmation

*It has made my romantic relationships more interesting (whether or not my SO knows...)

*no matter how awkard WAV enjoying can feel, it would seem waaaay less weird than the "normal" alternatives I were caught

*Everyone sneezes, so there is no shortage of "new spice" to life

I don't know about you, but I'm generally able to "turn off" my interest in public to some extent (although a particularly fierce fit or sneezing from someone I already have romantic interest in can be hard to ignore). I like to think that sneezing, like nudity, is all about context and mind frame (i.e...I don't usually look at naked men/women in art and think about them sexually). That's not to say that the knowledge "hee hee, I have a fetish" doesn't pop into my mind, but I choose to be smug and enjoy that as a fun personal secret.

[Lynne]

You know, I so love having my boyfriend (and my best friend) know about this fetish, because it's a special bond between us Granted, I'm at an age now where I can hear either of them sneeze without feeling "Must have you NOW!!!!", and when it's not appropriate, I can simply appreciate it for what it is. But every so often, either I or one of them will sneeze, look at the other, share a secret smile, and go on about our day To me, it's an intimate secret between two people who care very deeply about each other - but even if your partner or friends don't know about it, you can still have that secret little smile to yourself

As for being normal, yeah there are times when it's annoying - I used to hate taking the bus, someone would sneeze and my body would instinctively react whether I wanted it to or not. I've learned to ignore that when it doesn't suit my purposes and enjoy it when it does, but that came with many years of effort. You'll find as you get older that you're NOT thinking about it all the time, that it isn't quite the monkey on your back that it is now. You're young, and you're just coming into sexual maturity - give it a little while Be patient with yourself - you can overcome your thoughts and feelings, in private and in public. It just takes a bit of trying. And eventually you may come to accept your thoughts and feelings in public, you may come to a point where you can effectively deal with them so that they don't cause you to feel embarrassed or different.

Good luck

[The Mute Poet]

What Lynne says here does ring true in alot of ways, zneeze. I used to worry about having the fetish quite a bit when I was your age, and found it pretty much dominating my thoughts when I was at school or out in public. I remember feeling so bad that such a "strange" sexual fetish seemed to be one of the biggest aspects of my life at the time.

BUT, as I got older and was able to experience more, and get a little bit more perspective on things, my mindset has changed alot. I think at 15 one of the most predominant thoughts in a boy's mind is sex, and so it makes alot more sense given the way we're wired that sneezing would dominate so much of our thinking at that age. I know it can be annoying at times, but it's absolutely true that as you get older and experience more it'll be alot easier to control the frequency and intensity of these sorts of thoughts when you're in public. Like Lynne I like to think that over years of experience I've developed a sort of mini "on/off" switch that I didn't have a hope in hell of developing when I was 15.

Your sneezing fetish is a big part of who you are. Just the same as it would be if you were an avid artist, writer or soccer player. The fetish has led you to this forum and given you this great network of people to share you experiences with. It gives you one more guarenteed extra turnon than almost everyone else out there. It gives you a real, definite way to know you're unique, but without it being too extreme (trust me, if you ever do decide to share your fetish with a SO, most tend to take it very well, and are excited at the originality of it). Try your best to look at the effect the fetish has on you in a more positive light, and I think you'll find that it'll help you grow alot in terms of becoming more comfortable with it - it certainly helped me.

[zneeze]

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'll keep it all in mind.