What the...? - (2 Parts)

[ooo]

Title: What the...?

Author: Me (Lizi)

Fandom: X-men.

Disclaimer: I'm not making any profit from this.

Authors Notes: This bit of nonsense popped into my head randomly about half an hour ago and I just let it stream onto a word document. I figured I'd post in case anyone else might enjoy it!

In terms of continuity, erm, I've seen the movies, I've seen very few and random episodes of various TV series, and this is, anyway, based on a sort of alternate-movie-continuity where Jean, for whatever reason, isn't currently involved with Scott...not that it really matters...it's just fetishy rambling really

Please let me know what you think!

***

It was early evening when he made his way to the MedLab, embarrassed but frustrated.

Jean Grey looked up in surprise as he entered. 'Logan!'

It was true, he wasn't often a visitor here. He'd got used to his healing factor taking care of most things, but this was different.

'What's - ?' she began, but was interrupted, inadvertently, by the answer to her question.

'HERSHHKT!' Logan sneezed harshly into the back of his hands.

'Oh, dear,' said Jean, smiling slightly. 'Another accident with Rogue's perfume?'

'No,' he growled, and then: 'HEKKSSHHT! It's something else. It's been happening all day.'

He growled under his breath as he felt another itch building in his sinuses. His face went slack and he was sure he must look like a prize idiot, standing here, waiting for his body to respond and expel whatever irritant was bothering him this time. Yet, strangely, Jean was looking very odd too. What...?

The thought was interrupted by another explosive sneeze, made no smaller by Logan's attempt to rub the itch away with with back of his hand. 'HEKKSSHHT!' He sniffed wetly, tiredly, and then looked up in surprise as he heard Jean's voice, sounding very unlike the Jean he was used to.

'Poor Logan,' she cooed, looking decidedly...odd.

She moved up closer, a finger on his cheek, drifting upwards, encircling the rims of his nostrils, teasing, tickling...

'Jean, what - ?' he asked in astonishment, and then had to stop as another sneeze overtook him, his nose unable to cope with the stimulation she was giving it: 'HEKKSHHT! Hahh...Hah! HAKKSHHT!' He wrenched his head away from her just in time, sneezing off to the side into a clenched fist.

He straightened again, turning to face Jean, and as he did, catching an implacably familiar scent in the air that immediately set his nose tickling again. She was standing very close, and he could have moved away, but he was held by a sort of strange fascination with what Jean was doing.

'What...' he managed again, and she simply smiled devilishly up at him.

'Has anyone ever told you your sneezes are sexy, Wolverine?' she asked him, her voice a strange combination of shy and deeply sexy.

Girls flirt with bad boys, Logan.

He swallowed hard, stunned, but had no time to respond as his nose, now itching ten times worse than it had been before, reached critical point again: 'HEKKSHHHT!'

And then she was kissing him, and he was kissing her, her hands in his hair, and her hair all over his face, tickling his nose, tickling it beyond belief, and kissing her felt too good to stop but he couldn't...

'Hehh...AHH-KSSHHT!' he sneezed powerfully, trying to direct away from Jean. But he'd left it a bit late, and a bit of spray landed on her shoulder.

'Err...sorry,' he muttered, but she shook her head, still grinning in a slightly scary way.

What on earth is going on here? Logan wondered wildly, but then Jean was kissing him again, and a more logical question entered his mind:

Who cares?

***

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

You're kidding. That's IT?! You're not even going to tell us what it is making Wolvie sneeze (so we can fantasize about using it to drive him crazy)? You're so MEAN!

All of which can be taken to mean "More, please!"

~Me

[Spoo]

OHGOD.

I love, love, LOOOOOVEEEEE all things Jean x Logan! SO MUCH! This was delicious, and it left some yummy images in my head. Jean's such a little minx, ain't she? It'd be awesome if you continued!

Spoo~

[obsessed]

CUTENESS x's 10000. =)

[ooo]

Thanks so much for the comments, SneezeChick, Spoo and obsessedwithedward!! I'm very glad you enjoyed, it means a lot.

I hadn't really planned to continue this, mainly because I imagined it venturing shortly afterwards into quite 18+ territory and A. then it would have to go on the Adult Board, and B. I'm really not fantastic at/have no experience at 18+ writing. Howeeevvver...since you have both mentioned it, I have given it a bit of thought, and if you still want to read more I will do my best to produce something readable . It WOULD have to go on the Adult Board though since I'm pretty sure I can't get around that bit with the way the story's going in my head .

So. Thoughts? I won't be offended if you say you wouldn't want to read it

Edited to add: Also, if you do want to see it continued, does anyone have any requests they'd like to see (eg feathers, inducing, Wolvie sneezing on Jean, Wolvie NOT sneezing on Jean...etc...)? I'm not promising anything but since I haven't really planned out the next part I'm willing to take suggestions!

[obsessed]

Aww. For us? Hehe.

Well, would there be a way to write it on both the Adult Board and here? Write out the scene there, and then continue the story with a gap or something.

You are an incredible writer. Mhmm.

[ooo]

Sorry to keep bumping this!

Just wanted to let all the Adult-Board-enabled people know that I've posted the second (final) part in the Adult Board stories section. For the underage amongst us, I'm planning on editing a "censored" version to post here, pending approval from Forum staff (so no promises!) . It will be a bit jumpy/stop-starty because I'll have to just delete large chunks but you can get the fun/sneezy bits at least.

And thanks for the comment, obsessedwithedward, what a lovely thing to say!

[Guest]

*Bampf*

My entrance is because I want to be Nightcrawler. It comes as I say to you ooo that this is akll fine, though any further into 18+ territory would be unwise

[ooo]

Hee! Nightcrawler is awesome.

Thanks for the info; I was planning on censoring quite heavily so we're really left with just sneezing, so I think I should be alright

The censored part should be up in a couple of days when I find time to re-write/edit the parts that are postable.

[ooo]

Okay, here it is: part 2 for the underagers (namely obsessedwithedward) to enjoy!

Obviously, this is quite abrupt in places because I've edited it. Suffice to say, Logan has been sneezing a bit, and Jean wants to experiment with his nose, and they have gone to sit somewhere that isn't the medlab so that no-one walks in . They worked out that it's Jean's perfume making him sneeze, which she was hoping for because she likes him sneezing, which he is okay with. Hope you enjoy

***

'Let me try something different?' she asked. He felt a surge of hesitancy, but at the searching look in her eyes, found himself powerless to say no.

She excused herself for a minute, heading for the closet and coming back with a single, long, white feather. Logan stared at it for a second, and then switched his gaze to Jean.

'Oh, no...'

She hesitated. 'No? I can stop...'

He shook his head. 'No. I didn't mean...go on.'

She smiled, eyes filled with gratitude for a second before her smile became a lot more devious. Coming to sit by him, she moved the feather up to his nose and began gently circling the rim.

'Rules,' she said firmly, watching his nose begin to twitch. 'No sneezing until I say so.'

He stared at her, feeling the already unbearable tickling sensation in his nose, over-sensitive from the scent of the perfume. No sneezing? How the hell was he supposed to manage that?

'Heh...Jeanie...'

She shook her head, smiling. 'No, not yet.' And now, to Logan's utter dismay, she inserted the tip of the feather into his right nostril, twirling, tickling. He fought valiantly against the sensation, trying to keep his mouth closed, prevent his breath from hitching. This was the one thing his healing factor did nothing against; an external irritant, all he could do was expel it. Which he was longing to do...

Suddenly, Jean's feather hit a point in his nose that seemed to radiate sensation outwards, like electricity. His nose tickled unbearably, and against his best efforts his breath began to hitch uncontrollably.

"Heh...ahhh...Jean...please...heh...can't...stahh...stop...'

She smiled. 'Okay, Logan. Go on.'

He would have sighed with relief if he'd had any control over his breathing. But, just as quickly, Jean removed the feather from his nostril and the sensation dimmed, just to the point that it wasn't quite enough to provoke a sneeze. It was infuriating. Logan sat there, panting, unable to do anything but concentrate on the not-quite-forthcoming sneeze.

'Jean...please...' he begged again, eyes watering, nose dripping, pathetically needing further stimulation to get this infernal tickle out of his nose. She saw what he needed and reached down to gently, ever-so-gently, brush his nose again with the feather.

It worked immediately. 'Heh! Heh! HEKSSHHTT! HEKSSHHTT! HEKSHHTT! Ahhh...ahhh...AKSHHHT!' Even the powerful, body-bending sneezes didn't seem to be doing enough to dispel the irritation and Logan's body resorted to harsh triples that left him gasping for breath. 'HEK-SHHT-SHHT-SHHT!' He inhaled desperately, eyes squeezed shut. 'HEK-SHHT-SHHT-SHHT! Ahh...HAKSHHHTT!'

*SNIKT*

Logan stopped dead, the itch still tickling in his nose but the sensation overtaken but something far more immediate: utter panic. Shaking slightly, he looked down at his hands, mercifully, thankfully, thank whatever God there was, pointed away from Jean, adamantium claws unsheathed.

'Logan?' asked Jean, looking similarly apprehensive.

He took a deep breath to settle himself, and, *SNIKT*, withdrew the claws. His heart still pounding, he turned his eyes on Jean. 'Sorry,' he said, still feeling a bit shaken by the near disaster; it had happened before, with Rogue during a nightmare, but she'd managed to heal, and the same couldn't be said for Jean if this had...he couldn't even think about it.

'What...happened?' she asked gently, her eyes soft, forgiving, but still a bit frightened and he hated himself for that.

'Happens sometimes,' he said gruffly, concentrating hard on not sneezing, still afraid of what had happened. 'When I...lose control.'

Her eyes widened. 'Oh - Logan, I'm sorry - it's my fault, then, I shouldn't have...'

He held up a hand to stop her, and then pointed his hands firmly away from both of them as he succumbed to a sneeze, muffled into the bedclothes: 'Ahh-EKKSSHHT!'

He looked at his hands, but thankfully the claws had stayed in. His theory was right, then. 'I think it's okay when I sneeze. It's just when it gets uncontrollable like that. I lose my concentration - if I'd been thinking I'd have felt it happening.'

She looked up. 'Logan, I'm sorry. I pushed too far.'

He shook his head firmly. 'Nah. We're fine. Just, let's not do that again. I can't hurt you, Jeanie.'

She nodded slowly, still feeling shaken. He took her gently in his arms, kissing her forehead.

'Maybe one day, I'll let you do that again,' he said softly, reassuring. 'With my hands safely out of the way.'

She smiled up at him, squeezing his hand gently and leaning against him, enjoying the simple warmth and comfort of, finally, being close to him. And Logan, with his chin fitting neatly over Jean's head, breathed in deeply, the scent of her perfume still lightly diffused in the air, his nose tickling lightly. No matter how much it made him sneeze, and no matter how much it irritated his nose, Logan knew that he would now forever associate the delicate, floral scent with this day; with happiness, love, and the quiet triumph of fate in the form of an itchy nose.

~THE END~

[Weirdo Girl]

AWWW! love it!