Hi everyone I need your help telling my bf

[kilala]

Hi, I'm new here and am happy to finally be a member here, I have wanted to for a while and am excited about being able to talk to you all. I kinda need some help, not really help, maybe advice? Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year, and he is the most incredible man in this world [maybe I'm a bit biased and I am telling him about my fetish this weekend. I have never EVER told anyone and never thought I would, and I'm completely terrified! He knows I am telling him a secret about myself, because he has some kind of secret fetish he wants to tell me about too. we decided since we will be together forever [we are soon to be engaged] that we needed to share this when we were ready, I am ready, just really scared. I realized when he was at my house the other night and had an amazing allergy attack [i LOVE his allergies I have to tell him, I can't keep hiding this, I need to be able to talk to him about it. I know I'm completely rambling, I apalogize for that, but I have never been a part of something like this and I hope to get to know all of you and become friends, so I just thought I'd say hi and if you have any advice for me I would love to hear it, thank you

[The Mute Poet]

Hey, oceanstar! It's really good to meet you and I look forward to seeing you around and hopefully getting to know you better .

As for telling your boyfriend, to be quite honest, I think you've done everything perfectly so far. You've waited until you were sure that he could handle it/that you really mean alot to him, you've told him you were going to tell him ahead of time to give him a chance to start to anticipate it and digest it, and you're even lucky enough that he has his own fetish, so he'll even be able to see things from your perspective a bit easier than the average boyfriend. When you do tell him, just try and relax and instead of thinking about how nervous you are, or even worrying about how he'll react, try your best to focus more on how much he means to you and how happy you're going to be once he knows, and that might help you relax a bit while you tell him. I think the majority of guys would love to be told that their girlfriend has such a (comparatively) innocent fetish - and that goes twice as much for one who cares about you as much from what you've told us. I bet it's going to go awesomely, and that you'll be relieved and glad beyond belief that you told him, and wish you the best of luck.

Be sure to let us know how it turns out!

[The Dude]

Yup, sounds to me like the conditions are ripe. Nothing left to do but sink the 8-ball.

[Prodigy]

I'd have to agree with these fine gentlemen... "conditions are perfect"! I told my SO just after our first dating anniversary, and his reaction was perfect (although the use of the word "fetish" freaked him out a little bit at first). Have you thought about how you're going to say it? For me, it was easier to say "I think your sneezing is really cute" than to full-out admit it, although he was a bit slow in figuring out just what I was trying to tell him!

Good luck -- it will take off tons of pressure once it's been said, and you can start to have a bit of fun with it!

[kilala]

I'd have to agree with these fine gentlemen... "conditions are perfect"! I told my SO just after our first dating anniversary, and his reaction was perfect (although the use of the word "fetish" freaked him out a little bit at first). Have you thought about how you're going to say it? For me, it was easier to say "I think your sneezing is really cute" than to full-out admit it, although he was a bit slow in figuring out just what I was trying to tell him!

Good luck -- it will take off tons of pressure once it's been said, and you can start to have a bit of fun with it!

Thank you all for your advice, it was very helpful. I told him last night, I have to admit I was very nervous, but once I said it he took it very well and was very willing to accept it, and today when he was at my house he wanted me to show him how to induce so he could do it for me!! I am a very lucky woman. He also told me his secret fetish, which was a shock but I'm completely ok with it. I felt incredible after I told him, like I had just accomplished something huge, I was so happy I did, and the fact that we shared this with each other was very intimate and brought us closer together, it was special.

For anyone who reads this and wants to tell a SO but is afraid, just do it, trust me it is completely worth it if the person truly loves you for who you are

[Nicole]

Thank you all for your advice, it was very helpful. I told him last night, I have to admit I was very nervous, but once I said it he took it very well and was very willing to accept it, and today when he was at my house he wanted me to show him how to induce so he could do it for me!! I am a very lucky woman. He also told me his secret fetish, which was a shock but I'm completely ok with it. I felt incredible after I told him, like I had just accomplished something huge, I was so happy I did, and the fact that we shared this with each other was very intimate and brought us closer together, it was special.

For anyone who reads this and wants to tell a SO but is afraid, just do it, trust me it is completely worth it if the person truly loves you for who you are

Yay!!! Good on you for being courageous. So glad it went well!

[Prodigy]

That's awesome! I'm glad it went so well. And I hope your boyfriend had the same great feeling after he told you his big kink -- it can be very stressful not knowing how the other person will react.

[greycat19]

Hi! Very happy for you, I had a similar experience!

Congrats!

[youkaineko]

YAY! I too told my long term (3 yrs) bf about it. Well, more like I told him I had a fetish and would tell him what it was eventually. I kept giving him hints, and then this past week he got on my computer and found this site, so it wasn't exactly the best way to tell him, but he just said "I figured that's what it was" and left it at that. He doesn't really care one way or the other, which is good, because I told him I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to try too hard with it, and he's not, so I'm happy.

[kilala]

YAY! I too told my long term (3 yrs) bf about it. Well, more like I told him I had a fetish and would tell him what it was eventually. I kept giving him hints, and then this past week he got on my computer and found this site, so it wasn't exactly the best way to tell him, but he just said "I figured that's what it was" and left it at that. He doesn't really care one way or the other, which is good, because I told him I didn't want to tell him because I didn't want him to try too hard with it, and he's not, so I'm happy.

Yay! that is good to hear, at least he is ok with it it's such an amazing feeling just to have someone know and be able to talk about it. Even though I don't quite get my boyfriends fetish I'm so happy he told me and is able to talk to me about it, i feel bad because he is doing whatever he can to make me happy with mine, but he keeps saying if he can do something that easy to make me happy he's all for it, and I'm willing to give his a shot, maybe I could get into it

[Lady Blessington]

That takes guts. It's fantastic that it worked out, and it's also just fantastic in itself that you took the plunge.

*bows to the awesomeness of you*

[chui]

That's great that it worked out so well! Congratulations!

[White Rose]

Hello

i just told my boyfriend about it yesterday!!

and let me tell you, he reacted AMAZINGLY!!!

okay, so, we were playing the game questions (if you dont know what that is, it is basically where you take turns asking each other questions.) and i asked him what the cutest things a girl does, and he said his, and a few others of his. then he asked me. i told mine (but not about sneezing) and i said "but there is one you will never know, and it drives me crazy" and so he spent the entire rest of the day and the next day trying to guess.. finally, i started feeling bad, and i had given him tons of hints, but he still wasnt getting it, so, i whispered it in his ear.

and so now, when we see each other, we whispers "atchoo" and i laugh.

and he thought it was "totally awesome that something so simple could turn me on"

i know? awesome right.

oh, and he messages me whenever he sneezes

but i havent seen him do it in person

haha, well, that time will come

my point is, i was sooooo afraid of telling him

and when i finally did, it felt amazing to get it off my chest.

so, i say , go for it

good luck!

[kilala]

Hello

i just told my boyfriend about it yesterday!!

and let me tell you, he reacted AMAZINGLY!!!

okay, so, we were playing the game questions (if you dont know what that is, it is basically where you take turns asking each other questions.) and i asked him what the cutest things a girl does, and he said his, and a few others of his. then he asked me. i told mine (but not about sneezing) and i said "but there is one you will never know, and it drives me crazy" and so he spent the entire rest of the day and the next day trying to guess.. finally, i started feeling bad, and i had given him tons of hints, but he still wasnt getting it, so, i whispered it in his ear.

and so now, when we see each other, we whispers "atchoo" and i laugh.

and he thought it was "totally awesome that something so simple could turn me on"

i know? awesome right.

oh, and he messages me whenever he sneezes

but i havent seen him do it in person :(

haha, well, that time will come

my point is, i was sooooo afraid of telling him

and when i finally did, it felt amazing to get it off my chest.

so, i say , go for it

good luck!

that is awesome I am so happy for you, that is the best reaction ever and it feels so amazing to be able to talk to someone about it and have someone know, it gets hard living in secrecy. I definitely hope that time comes soon for you that you get to see it soon Me and J have been having tons of fun with each others fetishes and it's so awesome

[White Rose]

aw, im so glad

hehe

btw, sorry for the REALLY late reply lol

im glad things worked out

[Guest audreybordeaux]

I'm so glad it went so well for you!

I'm also new to this board (brand new..) and I just thought I'd add my 2 cents for anyone else who still may need to tell their SO.

I think one of the best ways to start, especially if you are nervous about what their reaction might be, is with subtlety. Maybe dropping hints when they sneeze, or when someone else does.. something that could maybe be easily dismissed if they seem to have a weird or bad reaction to it.. but also something that could open the lines of communication at that moment or in the future. Something as simple as.. "You know, I think it's really cute when you sneeze.." That way, you've at least opened the door.

I also think if you're going to have one of those "talks" about it.. it really helps if you try not to seem so nervous! The more normal and naturally you tell them, the more relaxed they will be hearing it.. and will most likely feel more at ease about it. Easier said than done, I know.

I actually just told my girl friend the other day, and it was kind of just a spur of the moment type thing. I guess I felt a little strange as the words were coming out of my mouth but I didn't feel worried really. I guess I'm just confident with myself enough to know that I wouldn't be too embarrassed if she happened to think it was weird! Ha..

Well, good luck to you all!

xoxoxo

[White Rose]

I'm so glad it went so well for you!

I'm also new to this board (brand new..) and I just thought I'd add my 2 cents for anyone else who still may need to tell their SO.

I think one of the best ways to start, especially if you are nervous about what their reaction might be, is with subtlety. Maybe dropping hints when they sneeze, or when someone else does.. something that could maybe be easily dismissed if they seem to have a weird or bad reaction to it.. but also something that could open the lines of communication at that moment or in the future. Something as simple as.. "You know, I think it's really cute when you sneeze.." That way, you've at least opened the door.

I also think if you're going to have one of those "talks" about it.. it really helps if you try not to seem so nervous! The more normal and naturally you tell them, the more relaxed they will be hearing it.. and will most likely feel more at ease about it. Easier said than done, I know.

I actually just told my girl friend the other day, and it was kind of just a spur of the moment type thing. I guess I felt a little strange as the words were coming out of my mouth but I didn't feel worried really. I guess I'm just confident with myself enough to know that I wouldn't be too embarrassed if she happened to think it was weird! Ha..

Well, good luck to you all!

xoxoxo

yeah, thats a really great way of putting it

thank you very much

and welcome to the forum