Caretaking

[greycat19]

I've always known that I liked being helpful, but recently I've learned about myself that, specifically, taking care of people rocks my world. I think it's a big part of who I am. I love cooking for people, and I always carry around tissues and coughdrops and bandaides. I love getting complimented on my cooking, and I adore the thanks I receive when I'm taking care of someone. It's like I know I've done a good job if the person says thank you. I don't know if it counts as a fetish, but I think it's connected to my sneeze fetish in some way, so I thought this was a good place to post it. Does anyone else hear feel especially on cloud nine when they are taking care of someone?

[The Dude]

Hey, are you my energy twin or something? I totally love taking care of someone who's sick. I'm talking juice, tissues, massages, the whole nine. If it's someone I really care about, making them feel good makes me feel good. And my immune system is pretty resilient, so I'm usually not worried about catching it from them either.

Cool topic!

[greycat19]

Omg, yes, juice, too!

How could I have forgotten that?

But yay! Someone out there feels the same! I love taking care of people no matter what they're sick with, or even if they are just hurt or upset. You too, maybe???

[The Dude]

Oh, big time. That's just what I do. As long as it's genuine and they're not using me as an emotional tampon, it's all good.

[Kibou-chan]

I very much love this! I am always trying to take care of people, whether it`s their health or their emotions that are malfunctioning. I used to constantly fantasize about taking care of my favorite anime characters when they were sick. I remember getting REALLY stressed out (boderline panic attacks) when my boyfriend (now ex) wouldn`t let me take care of him when he was sick. Ironically, that`s one of the reasons why we broke up... If he got upset/ill I always wanted to find out what was wrong and help him, but he didn`t want to talk about it and got mad at me for trying to help. Then I would feel like a failure of a person for not helping, even though he didn`t want me to.

Does anyone else here get upset if someone won`t let you help them?

Also, does this translate into EXTREME empathy for you? For example, when my boyfriend had food poisoning I was sick several times and didn`t eat for days, even though I didn`t have food poisoning myself at all! Just being around him and thinking about how terrible he must feel made me literally sick.

[youkaineko]

I do, I love it! That's why I'm in school to be a nurse~ It's constant caring--yay!

[greycat19]

@ Kibou-chan: Yes, I feel like a total failure / really guilty if someone won't let me take care of them. tear-worthy. And yes, with the empathy bit, too. I'll feel pain if someone I know is injured.

[Sneezles]

I never thought i was much of a caretaker but i've just come to realise that i am a huge caretaker and want to help people who are ill, sick, injured, sad - i feel like i need to be there for them and if i can't i feel hurt and upset.

It drives me crazy because not everyone wants to be cared for and doesn't understand this need so it can feel like a bit of a curse to be honest. Especially when i feel upset and hurt when i physically can't look after someone i care about

[Dye]

Now that I think about it... I totally do that!

[Kibou-chan]

@ Kibou-chan: Yes, I feel like a total failure / really guilty if someone won't let me take care of them. tear-worthy. And yes, with the empathy bit, too. I'll feel pain if someone I know is injured.

It drives me crazy because not everyone wants to be cared for and doesn't understand this need so it can feel like a bit of a curse to be honest. Especially when i feel upset and hurt when i physically can't look after someone i care about

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one, though I agree with Sneezles in that it can easily turn against you if you are for some reason prevented from taking care of someone, especially someone very close to you. I went through some deep anxiety when I couldn't take care of my sick bf. I was starting to think I was a bit wacky. (And he did too.) Even after we broke up, I was still trying to take care of him. And we can't stand each other at all since we broke up. He got a bad cold and I brought him some cough medicine, which of course he refused to take, wannabe macho man that he is. Then he went home sick and I texted him, asking if he would like me to come over and distract him, to which he basically told me to go **** myself.

This is where the deep-seated hatred began to set in.

[Sneezles]

@ Kibou-chan: Yes, I feel like a total failure / really guilty if someone won't let me take care of them. tear-worthy. And yes, with the empathy bit, too. I'll feel pain if someone I know is injured.

It drives me crazy because not everyone wants to be cared for and doesn't understand this need so it can feel like a bit of a curse to be honest. Especially when i feel upset and hurt when i physically can't look after someone i care about

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one, though I agree with Sneezles in that it can easily turn against you if you are for some reason prevented from taking care of someone, especially someone very close to you. I went through some deep anxiety when I couldn't take care of my sick bf. I was starting to think I was a bit wacky. (And he did too.) Even after we broke up, I was still trying to take care of him. And we can't stand each other at all since we broke up. He got a bad cold and I brought him some cough medicine, which of course he refused to take, wannabe macho man that he is. Then he went home sick and I texted him, asking if he would like me to come over and distract him, to which he basically told me to go **** myself.

This is where the deep-seated hatred began to set in.

Awwww that sounds really rough I can imagine how you felt xxx

[semperfi0609]

My bf and I are like that too. He's in the military and I'm going into public health so we are both sorta in helping professions. We both are horrible about putting the other person's health above our own. I posted this obs on the obs board with more details but we managed to get each other really sick several months ago because we didn't care if we got sick we just wanted the other person to feel better. He tries to say he's good a lot when he isn't but I can read him well enough to tell when he isn't and call him on it. We've both gotten better at showing weakness though and still do all we can to take care of each other even though we are so far apart. I always make sure I have tissues with me and when he was home and sick I had cough drops with me for him too (they didn't help him any but I was hoping they would).

[White Rose]

I love taking care of people (especially if they have a cold )

[kilala]

I'm definitely with you, I love love love taking care of and babying any of my friends who are sick, especially the males who get all whiny and pitiful. I always give them massages and soup and juice and let them fall asleep on my shoulder and play with there hair [i could go on forever] and when J's allergies are really bad I love holding a tissue to his nose while he sneezes and then wiping his nose for him, I live to take care of people physically and emotionally, I would feel empty if I couldn't do it anymore

[kilala]

I'm definitely with you, I love love love taking care of and babying any of my friends who are sick, especially the males who get all whiny and pitiful. I always give them massages and soup and juice and let them fall asleep on my shoulder and play with there hair [i could go on forever] and when J's allergies are really bad I love holding a tissue to his nose while he sneezes and then wiping his nose for him, I live to take care of people physically and emotionally, I would feel empty if I couldn't do it anymore

And I also hate when someone won't let me take care of them. I have cried before several times, I get very very upset and frustrated, I have one friend who has never let me take care of him in any way and I could never be around him when he was sick/upset, it's just way too painful for me

[Jeff]

I am totally with you guys with the caretaking feeling. In one of my past relationships, the girl I was with hated it when I would sneeze and sniffle a lot. It started off to where she would just hand me a couple of tissues and tell me to blow my nose. It then got to the point where she would grab a couple of tissues and hold them over my nose and tell me to "blow". I was totally comfortable with that, until I had a really bad cold once. I had so much snot in my nose that she had to use like 6 tissues (2 tissues at a time, 3 different times) until I was done. It sounded very wet and soggy. I was kinda embarrassed about it. How you guys feel about that?? If you were helping someone blow their nose and it was really gross like that, would it bother you when helping them again?? When you're taking care of someone and they're blowing their nose on their own, do you normally like to give them privacy or watch them and rub your hand on their back??

Hope everyone had a great new year!!

J

[semperfi0609]

I am totally with you guys with the caretaking feeling. In one of my past relationships, the girl I was with hated it when I would sneeze and sniffle a lot. It started off to where she would just hand me a couple of tissues and tell me to blow my nose. It then got to the point where she would grab a couple of tissues and hold them over my nose and tell me to "blow". I was totally comfortable with that, until I had a really bad cold once. I had so much snot in my nose that she had to use like 6 tissues (2 tissues at a time, 3 different times) until I was done. It sounded very wet and soggy. I was kinda embarrassed about it. How you guys feel about that?? If you were helping someone blow their nose and it was really gross like that, would it bother you when helping them again?? When you're taking care of someone and they're blowing their nose on their own, do you normally like to give them privacy or watch them and rub your hand on their back??

Hope everyone had a great new year!!

J

I think it would bother me if I was the one blowing my nose and had a lot. As far as blowing other people's noses, the only people I think I would do that for in the first place are my boyfriend and if we eventually had kids, our kids when they are little. In those 2 cases, I don't think it would bother me. Things that usually bother me don't seem to bother me with my bf. Like I HATE throwing up, and I'm pretty sure he threw up when we were on the phone once (he had been drinking a lot) and it actually didn't bother me! I was just worried about him. Love is blind maybe? If he was blowing his nose on his own, which I have yet to see lol, then I would rub my hand on his back. I do that when he starts coughing really badly. As for other people (family and friends) I have had to take care of my mom but everyone else has been fine on their own so I don't look to give them privacy and also because it is awkward for me.

[confetishcake]

Does anyone else here get upset if someone won`t let you help them?

Also, does this translate into EXTREME empathy for you? For example, when my boyfriend had food poisoning I was sick several times and didn`t eat for days, even though I didn`t have food poisoning myself at all! Just being around him and thinking about how terrible he must feel made me literally sick.

Oh lord. I'm not the only one! It can be so stressful, thank goodness I'm not alone in this!

[Guest triangle_eyes]

I completely agree. If someone I know is sick with a cold or flu I want to make sure they are wrapped up warm in bed with a hot water bottle and some hot soup with tissues by their side that I can hand them every time they sneeze. Especially if they have a fever it makes me want to take care of them.

[Silent Sophie]

Aw yes, I'm with you all in this. I love caretaking with all of my heart, though actually more often I'm the one who needs a caretaker, because I have a really nasty immune system.

And not that it's bad or can stop me (contrary, indeed ), but when I'm taking care of someone who has flu or something, then surely I'll catch it. (But even if I easily go down with fever and sore throat, I rarely catch the common colds... misfortune! )

I also love taking care of persons I love if they're hurt, sore or injuried. Usually I'm a little sensitive for blood, but not when they're persons I care for. Instead, in that case I just feel so full of tenderness and I only desire to take care of them. In particular I feel a sweet intimacy in cleaning and bandaging a cut or slight wound or something like that, I feel like I'm caressing the person's skin in while, and silently telling him that he's precious to me. My partner loves when I do this.