Advice?

[princessontheporch]

Hey everyone,

I have a couple of problems:

I've been going out with my gorgeous boyfriend for a few months now and have witnessed some glorious sneezes from him in that time. And although I usually feel a bit uncomfortable sneezing in front of people I really want to sneeze in front of him, since he says "bless you," in the cutest voice EVER. (I heard him bless one of his friends and nearly DIED ). The problem is every time I feel a sneeze coming, I guess you could say I get stage fright, and the sneeze backs off. The other (kind of related) problem is that part of me really wants to tell him about my fetish. I think he'd be ok with it cos hes pretty openminded when it comes to that kind of thing, but I'm still scared! Any advice on these issues?

Thanks!

[jsullivan]

It sounds like he's a wonderful boy for you, and how or if you tell him is totally up to you. Have you told anyone else? Have you thought about how you might tell him? Have you brought up the topic of fetishism as a whole, to see what he thinks of non-traditional behaviors?

There's always the option of: "So I found out that there are people who think sneezing is sexy/attractive/whatever," seeing what he says, and then deciding whether or not to tell him after that.

Good luck!

[onlyhim]

Maybe after he does it, say something like "you are so cute when you do that" or "that makes you sound kind of sexy." Do it light heartedly with a smile. If he seems a bit weirded out, you can just drop it and shrug it off as a casual observation. If he seems to be receptive or curious, maybe you can discuss it a bit further. Good luck! He sounds great and I really hope it works out for you. I think it's just the best when couples can share this.

[kilala]

well everything I was going to say has already been said. Coming from someone who had an excellent experience telling my SO and has an amazing time with it in our relationship, i will say you will be very nervous, but just go for it. Especially if he is open minded and loves you, I'm sure he will probably find it interesting and grow to love it [mine does because of how excited I get over it] And definitely ease into it. Telling someone feels amazing and being able to talk about it with someone in person is a great feeling, so I say go for it when you are ready. Good luck!

[Nicole]

I'll just add this, at the risk of having rotten tomatoes thrown!

Have you ever considered NOT telling him? I only ask that because of what you said about him blessing his friends. Decide if you like that little nuance or dynamic, or whatever you want to call it... Because by telling him, that part of things might change. My hubby doesn't do this, thank God, but some people I know have told their SO and then when someone in the vicinity sneezes, their SO kind of leers at them hungrily as if they should be expected to throw down for sex at any given moment.

Wow...I'm not bitter, I swear, though I sure do sound that way! I don't regret telling McHotPants AT ALL, because as I said, he's not like that...but just keep in mind that the dynamic, especially the one you described, can change a little bit. Good luck!

[kilala]

You have a good point, that doesn't sound too fun. Thank God J isn't like that either, and my experience telling him was so amazing because we both have a fetish and we shared them together, it was special. think about it first and don't tell him until you are ready

[chui]

Well, without going into too much adult content, do you discuss other intimate things with him? If so, you can lead into it from one of those conversations. If not, well then he might not understand the full implications of it.

I've always been a fan of the "i've got a secret" game, where you tell him that something he does it really cute/adorable/sexy and let him try to guess. That way, you can gauge how eager he seems to play, before actually telling him.

[Kineret]

Well, I think it really depends on his personality. I've had boyfriends who I've felt it was "right" to tell and others that I just wasn't comfortable with. I think it all depends on who the person is and who intimate you are on certain subjects.

Good luck!

[obsessed]

Aw, that's great! Just a cynical warning, but you want to be sure about telling him. After all, you don't want it to be only the sneezes or the talkin'.

That said, the other advice was pretty good, so I'll step out now.

[ID2006]

It took awhile for me to get over my mental block around my SO, but I was able to do so eventually. I think what helped the most was inducing a few times while next to him without him being able to see (like with my back turned to him and nose near the blankets) and it made me less scared of doing so around him. I personally think you should tell him, although you might have to tell him later on that you feel awkward when he looks at you expectantly after someone sneezes. I know I had to discuss this with my SO after I first told him. Whenever someone around me sneezed he'd give me that look of 'so was that a good one'. As soon as I told him that I didn't like him doing that he quit and it never came up again though.

[semperfi0609]

I agree with what everyone else said. When I told my bf I first asked if he had any weird turn ons (I already knew a few things he liked but figured there were more) and he told me and then I told him about mine. He could tell I was FREAKING out though because I couldnt even say it on the phone and I ended up typing it into instant messenger lol. He reads me extremely well whether I want him to or not, so he is always very careful if he says anything. He doesn't sneeze very much and we don't get to see each other very much though so its different. He will be home in a few months though... so we'll see. I think it is easier to tell people that have their own strange turn ons because then they understand better and can't really make fun of you. Plus he cares about you so that makes a big difference too. Good luck!

[White Rose]

I told my bf a few months ago

and things are AMAZING!!

he induces for me and everything

its really nice having our own private thing we can share

I think you should tell him odds are, he'll see it to his advantage good luck love

[a red nine]

Well it's probably best not have the opportunity arrise because someone caught you on this website. I definitely didn't learn that from experience...