sneezing in a relationship

[Evergreen]

so, for as long as i can remember, i have hated sneezing in front of people. as a kid, i felt embarrassed, and that embarrassment was fueled further when i realized that i find sneezing attractive. like many fetishists, i find certain sneezes more attractive than others, and it makes me self conscious about my own sneezes.

i've somewhat recently begun seeing this guy. he's great, although he doesn't sneeze very much. the first time i saw him sneeze was after a night of drinking and it seemed like both he and his friend had a stuffy nose, but they weren't sick. was it the alcohol or something in the house? who knows? all i know is that they both did some sneezing. it was sort of awkward, because i like to witness the "bless you" exchange, but i feel uncomfortable blessing most people, because it feels like i'm thanking them for turning me on a little bit. god, that sounds weird, but it's a funny complex i have. i had a little bit of discomfort blessing my boyfriend, but it was worth it after his cute little smile and stuffy "thank you". yes, my voice did rise a bit in nervousness, but i don't think he noticed. when his friend would sneeze, however, i could not for the life of me bring myself to bless him, although i wanted to, because my boyfriend was sitting right there and it felt wrong somehow. i am afraid i'll get discovered, though, because his friend did a lot more sneezing than him and i could not say "bless you." i just couldn't. i blessed my boyfriend again in the car when he sneezed for a second time that morning, and i was better at keeping my voice level.

i've gotten two more sneeze obs out of him since then (and sorry this is sort of an obs, too. i swear the basis of this post is not obs related). i blessed both with little hesitation, but i'm always nervous that someone around us will sneeze and i won't bless them and he'll ask me why i bless him but no one else.

right, onto my next point that relates to the fact that i'm self conscious about my sneezes. i can't remember the last time i let someone see me sneeze and i want him to. i want to see if he'll bless me, i suppose. i think that'd be cute, and i want to get more comfortable sneezing around him because i spend a lot of time with him and it sucks that my body naturally fights off sneezes when i'm with someone. objectively speaking, i like my own sneezes when i stifle them, which, except for the occasional crazy strong sneeze, i can do quite well. they come out somewhat like "nggx-chewww!" with the "chewww" being breathed and a higher pitch. weird as it sounds, i find them a bit cute, and i want to see my boyfriend's reaction. i talk to him on the phone every night before i go to sleep, so i was thinking of inducing a sneeze or two just to hopefully get the ball rolling on letting him witness (or, in reality, hear) me sneeze. maybe if he hears it first but can't see me, i'll be capable of sneezing in front of him the next time. what do you guys think? does this make me completely insane? i don't have anyone who knows about my fetish, so you guys are the only people i can consult on the subject.

[kilala]

so, for as long as i can remember, i have hated sneezing in front of people. as a kid, i felt embarrassed, and that embarrassment was fueled further when i realized that i find sneezing attractive. like many fetishists, i find certain sneezes more attractive than others, and it makes me self conscious about my own sneezes.

i've somewhat recently begun seeing this guy. he's great, although he doesn't sneeze very much. the first time i saw him sneeze was after a night of drinking and it seemed like both he and his friend had a stuffy nose, but they weren't sick. was it the alcohol or something in the house? who knows? all i know is that they both did some sneezing. it was sort of awkward, because i like to witness the "bless you" exchange, but i feel uncomfortable blessing most people, because it feels like i'm thanking them for turning me on a little bit. god, that sounds weird, but it's a funny complex i have. i had a little bit of discomfort blessing my boyfriend, but it was worth it after his cute little smile and stuffy "thank you". yes, my voice did rise a bit in nervousness, but i don't think he noticed. when his friend would sneeze, however, i could not for the life of me bring myself to bless him, although i wanted to, because my boyfriend was sitting right there and it felt wrong somehow. i am afraid i'll get discovered, though, because his friend did a lot more sneezing than him and i could not say "bless you." i just couldn't. i blessed my boyfriend again in the car when he sneezed for a second time that morning, and i was better at keeping my voice level.

i've gotten two more sneeze obs out of him since then (and sorry this is sort of an obs, too. i swear the basis of this post is not obs related). i blessed both with little hesitation, but i'm always nervous that someone around us will sneeze and i won't bless them and he'll ask me why i bless him but no one else.

right, onto my next point that relates to the fact that i'm self conscious about my sneezes. i can't remember the last time i let someone see me sneeze and i want him to. i want to see if he'll bless me, i suppose. i think that'd be cute, and i want to get more comfortable sneezing around him because i spend a lot of time with him and it sucks that my body naturally fights off sneezes when i'm with someone. objectively speaking, i like my own sneezes when i stifle them, which, except for the occasional crazy strong sneeze, i can do quite well. they come out somewhat like "nggx-chewww!" with the "chewww" being breathed and a higher pitch. weird as it sounds, i find them a bit cute, and i want to see my boyfriend's reaction. i talk to him on the phone every night before i go to sleep, so i was thinking of inducing a sneeze or two just to hopefully get the ball rolling on letting him witness (or, in reality, hear) me sneeze. maybe if he hears it first but can't see me, i'll be capable of sneezing in front of him the next time. what do you guys think? does this make me completely insane? i don't have anyone who knows about my fetish, so you guys are the only people i can consult on the subject.

First off, you are not crazy, I think me and most people here share the same feelings you have. The only person I ever bless is my boyfriend [who knows about my fetish] and I even have a hard time doing that sometimes if other people are around. As for being found out by not blessing others, me and my bf actually discussed something similar to this a few weeks ago, and he said not fetishists like himself dont ever pay attention to when people sneeze or anything related to it, so it is very unlikely your boyfriend will pick up on that, and even if he does he will probably just assume it's because he is your boyfriend. And as for the not sneezing in front of anyone thing I am with you on that. I have never sneezed in front of my bf and we have been together for over a year, and it's just out of nervousness. My body too automatically fights it off, I very rarely ever sneeze, and it is kinda frustrating. I think maybe it would be a good idea for you to induce on the phone, maybe you would be less nervous that way. Just remember you're not alone with this stuff, and good luck!

[The Mute Poet]

Oceanstar's right, kristen, you're certainly not alone. In fact if you search through the last couple of pages here I think you'll find quite a few instances of other girlfriends having (and in most case overcoming) similar problems.

Generally most of us were afraid to bless other non-fetishists, or to interact with them concerning sneezing in any way, just precisely because we were so afraid of being found out. But as oceanstar said, it's not likely at all anyone would ever pick up on it, so it basically comes down to your own level of confidence and how comfortable you are with your fetish - something that usually get stronger and stronger the more time you spend at the forum.

In the meantime, your plan to induce over the phone does sound like a good one, there's certainly no harm in trying. I'm not sure if you guys are at this stage yet, but you might also want to explore the idea of whether or not you'd like to tell your boyfriend about the fetish. I know it can be monumentally hard and scary for alot of people the first time, but this is another case where if you look around a bit you'll see a bunch of success stories of people who have taken the plunge and have been unequivocally glad they have. I know I'm certainly very happy that I told my gf.

With whatever you decide to do, good, luck and please let us know what happens - no matter what you always have a whole passel of people happy to lend you sneeze-related advice here!

[Honkytonklagoon]

Kristen, you're not crazy. In fact, you sound like a very sweet person. And I think your discomforts will disappear over time. Inducing on the phone is a great idea -- you'll be sneezing for your boyfriend and still be alone.

As for those you don't bless, I don't think most people take this as seriously as we do, and so your friends probably won't notice who you bless and who you don't. Remember, since almost no one thinks about sneezing as a turn-on, it's almost impossible for you to give yourself away. So just relax, drink your drink, and enjoy the show!

[Joal 555]

kristen, I can only echo the comments above.......and add that your sneeze sounds deliciously cute!

Good luck with whatever you decide - and remember that everyone here completely understands what you are going through

[Silent Sophie]

As others have already said to you, you're absolutely not either crazy or alone.

Generally, I don't bless almost anyone, beacuse I consider the bless thing like a part of the sensuality of the sneeze thing, like my answer to other's arousal, and when I bless, my voice instinctively becomes lower and sweeter, so you can understand I would be too much embarrassed. Probably no one could guess my real reasons, at most they would simply think that I'm too much gentle for a simple sneeze and then let it go, but I DO know and it's enough to make myself in discomfort.

I didn't bless either my own partner for a long time, because of the embarrassment. When he said to me that he'd like that I bless him when he sneezes (just for kindness, he has no fetish and doesn't know about mine), I willingly started doing it. It was embarrassing at first, but now I couldn't do without it.

For the fact that you want to see your boyfriend's reaction to your sneeze, I totally understand. I rarely sneeze in front of mine (and of anyone else); besides, since my sneezes are quite silent, sometimes if there's some noise around us and he isn't looking at me in that moment, he doesn't notice my sneeze because doesn't hear it. Oh it's so frustrating.

I think you could really try with your idea of inducing on the phone, it sounds good!

Good luck.

[Evergreen]

aw! thanks everyone! your comments really helped. i just wanna clarify that the inducing would be unknown to him. i'd just pass it off as if i had to sneeze naturally, because i absolutely can't sneeze in front of him naturally. i would eventually like to tell him about the fetish, but not for a very, very long time. so far, i haven't had the courage to induce a sneeze yet when i'm on the phone with him, but i hope to do so soon. i'll keep you guys posted. <3