When It's There - (2 Parts)

[obsessed]

AN: Um… I may have gone a little too far with developing characters. Be warned this has angst. Lots and lots of it at first. And then it shall hopefully have fluff. Lots of that too. For schnulle!

When It's There

Paul lay on his couch in the remains of his suit. He took pride in his couch, with its clean look and soft layers. An aching head could drift into layers of cotton, resting until it refused to get up. Only an ache in the neck would counteract the relief of laying down a head.

What was it today? He couldn’t answer quite yet. Maybe it was his job. It always did leave him stressed. Perhaps it was the sudden change in weather, dropping a good season in temperature. He felt it was his heart though.

Paul knew a few years wouldn’t have solved anything—no, but it had. He wasn’t too sure. If he was sure, he would be happy. The date wouldn’t have mattered, as it was a silly sentimental thing too.

A few years ago, he had his older brother. He wanted to be exactly like Josh. He was kind, loved his girlfriend with all his heart, and never strayed too far from the family. Paul had been a pain, going through all sorts of phases that his parents were not used to. When he was younger, Paul hated his brother. He grew out of it.

Now, his heart just hurt thinking about him. He sunk deeper into his couch, wondering when the soft cotton would be enough to swallow him into its layers. Soon, he hoped.

Paul found himself clutching a pillow that matched his couch perfectly. No matter how hard he grabbed he found no comfort. The pillow didn’t reach out like Josh would’ve.

There was that time his parents went out, and Paul at a young age of seven had experienced a nightmare. Softly shivering in his bed, the whimpers were heard no matter how hard the little boy attempted to muffle them.

“You okay?” Josh had asked, gently opening the door in the way that wasn’t secretive but so soft it could not be called intruding.

Paul had felt a few warm things trickle down his cheeks as he pictured someone, he didn’t know who, but someone dying as a car would hit them. He couldn’t see a face, merely felt the emotion.

Now, old Paul doubted he could have ever slept had it not been for his older brother’s humming that lulled him into a light, but calm sleep.

*

He wanted his safety blanket. Alice had always been there in his life, though sometimes he tucked her away for the winter or to try out some new blanket. She was always there though. Sometimes when he didn’t even want her to be there, there she would be.

Body shivering, head aching, he knew it would be something. But until something became something, it would remain as nothing.

Surely, it was nothing.

Paul debated sending over his voice or words. Sending words would be easier; she wouldn’t have to hear his emotions and inflection. Alice would’ve snapped his head off if she came to see a man in his current, sad position.

So he decided to call. Energy was something he lacked at the moment, and perhaps if he had it, he would. The numbers were fairly easy to dial, as she wouldn’t have changed her number, he knew all too well.

“Yeah?” How he missed that voice. It was short, to the point. Maybe she was mad. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to go over or if he wanted her to come over.

Paul tried moving his body, but his muscles refused to allow him to do so.

“Can you come over please?” That small crack in his voice was pathetic. All he needed to do was to give into feeling and bawl. That would perfect the scene, and an artist could paint it, rendering it ‘Miserable’.

She sighed, teasing a little, serious the other bit. “Now?”

Was it too short of a notice? He hadn’t bothered to ask if she had something to do. She was the conscientious one, he was the impulsive one.

“Yes.” he replied without thought. “Please?”

He could hear her shuffling while she gave a small sigh. Perhaps it was a bad idea, tucking his safety blanket away for so long?

“Alright,” Alice voiced. He would’ve mumbled thanks, but he already heard the other line click.

*

Paul wished it was the knocking which alerted him of her presence. Sadly, it was his eyes which never strayed too far from the door. She never took the front entrance when she didn’t have to, from his knowledge. Perhaps she didn’t want to seem too much a guest.

However, he knew that she would never be a guest. She would always be welcome, even if he didn’t want to see her. Even if she didn’t want to see him.

As of now, he really didn’t want to get off his couch. Paul did however, for her, he would.

When the door opened, she stood there the same as he tried to remember her as. He was still a good head taller than her. Her body wasn’t skinny, it was curvy and natural—he loved that. Her eyes were brighter than he remembered.

Now, it was time for the same thing that always happened. He would find comfort and safety in her arms, and wish that time would never end. Then he’d move on, perhaps, knowing that she could do better.

She stepped in, and turned. Before she could speak though, he pulled her in. Oh, he felt like he was suffocating her but he couldn’t let go. His arms wrapped tightly around her and he pushed his head against her neck.

Alice didn’t push him away. That was the part he loved most. He could hang onto her, and she would let him until he wanted to talk. Paul’s eyes felt watery.

“H’itsch!” He ducked his head quickly into his shoulder. It had come out of nowhere and disrupted their trance.

“Bless you,” were the first words she said since arrival. Her voice was matured… he didn’t even know how.

He sniffled once and put his head onto her shoulder again. Paul closed his eyes. His arms closed tighter around her and he placed a head on her curly locks, whispering “thank you.”

It meant something more than he could place his finger on.

[le mouchoir]

It is ridiculous how much I love this!

The amount of angst is perfect and your character development is wonderful. You've got some crazy talent, girl! <333

[Selene]

So I just came online for a quick look and discovered this, so my first reaction was when I found out that there was a new story of you. I wanted to read it and went to do so.

When I opened the thread, I realised that it was for me (my short comment on that is just ) and went like:

After I read the introductin and the first bit with the couch, I was already really into the story and could not help but feel happy and surprised and overall a little like this:

And when I finally read the whole story, it was just simply wonderful and so intense and angsty and just...

This emotion then dissolved into this and this , while I read on and read it again and just LOVED every bit of it.

Until finally........

.................

Congratulations, you just killed me with the cuteness and angst and the sneeze, which was just perfectly fit in there and... Wow, what I can I say, other than just OMGWTFBBQ WOW and that I love it to bits and pieces and then back to a whole again?

I love the character descriptions and the way they interact. And the fact that he is weak, but at the same time always demanding her to come, although he's almost begging her to do so. And that she is somehow so very tender towards him, although she's quiet and quite shortspoken. And the whole imagery with the safety blanket is just

Oh and by the way: did I already tell you that I love it? ^^

Thank you sooooooooo much, I cannot find the right words for it but I just want you to know that you made my day, even though there's some tough time still to come today, but it can never be tough enough to make me unhappy after I read that here today!

[a red nine]

Excellent writing and plotline! So cute! Gosh, I think schnulle covered most of it... XD But as usual, that was just a very good read. I would expect no less from ya!

[BlueRandom]

Your fics are so great - the angst is lovely 'cos you get a really good sense of the characters.

And they're original. And the sneezes are cuuuuute ...

[Guest thegirlinblue]

hi, i'm new here and i just really want to say that i loved your story so please continue writing

[starpollen]

I love your writing.

[smiles15]

wonderful.

[obsessed]

AN: Well, I almost twisted my ankle playing tennis, so I had an actual excuse for sitting down and writing! I feel like these installments get lamer every second, I promise they'll get better! Thank you guys for reading! schnulle, that was one of the sweetest comments I've ever seen! Oh, and post 1234. :DDD

When It's There

Eventually, he had let her go, but not before another quick hug. Then he remembered those things called manners which he had yet to perform.

“Want to sit?” Paul gestured towards the couch. She didn’t reply with words, it wasn’t their thing. She jumped onto the fluffy layers and patted the spot next to her.

He sunk down into the seat, closing his eyes. They were still a bit watery, and he doubted that stop. He found his other senses sharpened. Paul could feel the warmth of her body next to him.

“Hih’ngsh!” Another had snuck up on him, and he had to turn quickly into his arm. “Ex-excu-hih’hi’stch!”

This time, it had caused a few sniffles to follow. “Excuse me,” he mumbled, finishing his thought.

“Bless you,” she replied before laying her hand on his head. Her soft fingers did a smooth sweep, graceful like a ballerina sweeping the stage. “You’re not hot.”

“I thought I was pretty hot,” he mumbled quietly, giving a small smile after seeing the look Alice gave him. “Huh-eh’TCH!”

“Egotistical, are we?”

“Hah-eh’istch-uh!” He sniffed once, before replying, “You know it.”

Alice frowned. “You okay?”

Paul didn’t want to answer that. He hugged her again, dropping his head onto his blanket. Paul lived happily in denial. He was fine. She was more than fine.

She's the sweetest candy in the world.

He couldn’t help but wonder if she would be a better person without him. Paul sure thought she would be. He was just a jealous man, and selfish too. He wanted her to remain his forever, though he knew it wouldn’t happen.

He hugged her tighter, mumbling nonsense to even himself who thought the thoughts.

“Yeah. Fine.”

Alice gently pushed. “What’s wrong?”

Paul felt his throat begin to close up a little. It wasn’t too bad, it wasn’t too noticeable—but he couldn’t talk at a normal volume, scared of cracks in his dialogue. Not only did his throat close up, but it ached. It was nothing, regardless.

“Uh’NGH-tsch! Eh’shTCH! Ugh.”

*

Paul had fallen asleep sometime, and he found himself awake on his bed. Knowing fully well that he would not sleep in a suit, nor would Alice have been able to drag him into the bed, he wondered what middle passage had occurred.

Where was that girl anyways? He wanted to see her. He knew that she’d still be there as she always was, but where, was the question.

When he reached the couch, he was pleasantly greeted by a beauty, under a blanket. He wondered how she managed to keep those covers on – he had been far too warm to do much but kick off the blankets.

Paul made his legs move, as he walked on over to where she lay. He kept far, though he was not sick. He didn’t want to wake her – that was all.

“Hey beautiful,” Paul whispered. His fingers got close to her lips, feeling the proximity, and traced lines over. Paul didn’t want to wake her, he wanted her to continue living with those familiar confusing feelings he always got around her.

Was it odd he wanted to kiss her hair? He wanted to say no, but his mind screamed yes so loud he could not ignore it. Paul wanted to hold her in his arms.

Why was it when he needed comfort she was there? Paul couldn’t quite understand.

A sudden sneeze crept onto him, and before he could stifle the damn thing into complete silence, he was forced to duck his head into his shoulder.

“Eh’tsch-ngh!”

An awkward and painful sounding squeak at the end not only hurt his nose, but his headache was back. Paul almost smiled at his pain, until his face scrunched up again for a quicker, more desperate “Eh’hah!nghz’uh.”

He sighed as he felt shifting beneath him, knowing that despite the painful stifles, she would be awake and soon alert.

Paul knew that with her awake, he couldn’t cross that line he wanted to when she slept, when there was nothing else to keep his mind occupied. He couldn’t cross that line.

He couldn’t do that to her.

*

“It’s been a while,” Alice started.

His head hurt, and a few chills swept down his sides. Paul crossed his arms tightly, rubbing the sides in hopes for some warmth.

Paul nodded to prevent himself from talking. Was she mad? She had to have been. Perhaps that was better for the two of them.

“Been busy,” he mumbled, voice hoarse.

Alice clucked her tongue once. “I’m sure,” came a bitter response. Sheepishly Paul ducked his head down. Conveniently, he smothered a few small coughs.

She knew him well enough to see the signs of illness.

“Back to bed for you,” she mumbled, getting out from her own covers. He watched her as she did this, noticing the way her hair looked after sleep and her gait.

“Uh!Eh’NGH-tch.” Paul sniffled after his failed attempt at a stifle before coughing to his side, mumbling ‘okay’ in his mind. An aching throat did no good.

If there was anything he wished to do, it was to curl up into a ball and cry until sleep came, as he had done at other times.

“I feel like crap,” he mumbled before swaying to his side. Paul felt a strong head rush, one that made his eyes see, yet not comprehend, and his mind feel disoriented without changing. It was an odd feeling and it made his body feel out of place. The room spun wildly.

Luckily, they were close to a wall and his recollection was Alice holding him there until he could move again. His memory worked again when he reached the bed, collapsed over the side until he finally hopped in.

She tucked him under a blanket, while the shivers started. It was the way things worked for Paul – the shivers would come first, next to the beginnings of other symptoms.

“How did you get sick in a few second?” she teased, wishing him better though her wishes did no good.

He smiled, a pained little thing, and ducked his head into his shoulder for another sudden, “Ih’nghtschu! Ugh.”

“Guess I’ve been sick for a while,” he mumbled into the blankets. Paul wished he could say that about his heart too, but the moment was too much as it was already. “Sorry for hugging you. I don’t want you sick.”

Paul regret the words, as he wanted nothing more than the feeling of her arms wrapped around him, giving him a tight hug that signaled everything would be alright.

[alpha_dog]

Epic story!

[starpollen]

I loooooove angsty boys. Love love love!

[Selene]

I feel really sorry because of your ankle, obsessed! I hope it's not too bad!

On the other hand, I am really, really happy that you continued, because it's again simply just Your writing style is really amazing and I thank you sooooo much for writing this story!

Love it!

[melonbun]

Yay post 200, just for your story, which is lovely by the way~ :3

I can't believe this is the first time I've gone through one of your stories.

I must catch up on what I've missed. * ^ *

Woah. Even the time is pretty. XD