Alice's Wonderland Sneeze - Alternate Version - (2 Parts)

[billy]

i hate this movie, but thought i'd get it out of my system here. Also I wrote fic some moons ago about this sneeze, but ended it with just one. What would have happened if the tickle did not give up so easy...???

as soon as bill was pushed down, two clouds of soot escaped the fireplace, swiftly rising into the air. Alice barely had time to turn to the curious sound. Her eyes didn't see anything for they were blocked by the merging clouds, which climbed into her delicate nose. Dancing around, they gave her no irratation, not even a rising tickle...just an intense sensation that thought itself trapped and began to panic. In less then a second, Alice had to sneeze. Remembering how much terror her crying did, she couldn't imagine what a sneeze from such a giant girl could do. Poor Alice...her hands were stuck and she could barely move but for her head. The smoke, swirling and swirling, however made her loose control. But the sneeze did not come out, even that was strange in wonderland, for the smoke decided to torture her a bit...

She raised her hand, and her eyes looked up in desperation. "Ah. Ahh. Ah-ahh..." her face went a bit calmer as the yawn-like expression took form. The smoke was still stuck. Now it began to tickle STRONGLY, and Alice's golden voice could give no verbal warning to the creatures outside (or in the chimney), just a building a single sounds, "Ah! Eh-ah, ahhh-ah! Eh, ehh..." She struggled really hard to hold it back, and outside any veiwers could see the house wriggling like mad as if she was trying to escape it, but alas, she couldn't, and the tickling intensified and with each gasp, her voice grew higher, "ah, ah, ah-AH! AHH! AH! HA-HAAA-!"

In a split second, she felt with a deep breath she could hold it in, but as she thinnly inhaled, "ehhhh--!" The smoke was finally released with a, "CHHooooo!" which instead of a little girl, sounded like a rushing wave...

"Oh," she whispered as the Dodo and White rabbit began to creep back out from their hiding places. "Pardon me, I uh-" Alice shut her eyes quick. The smoke was gone, but the sensation remained. Tiny feathers began dance about. "Uhh...Uhhhh....Uhhhhhh...." She quickly held her breath, but the feeling was so strange, it made her want to laugh. She giggled and immedietly lost grip of her reflexes- "uh-huh-huh-uhh!" her gasps began to dance around as them out. "Huh! Huh! Huh!" The sneeze eased a bit and her eyes water, she felt she was gaining control again, "Uh-huuuuuh..." but just as she shut her eyes, "UH! UHHH! HUH-HUH CHOOOOOOOOOOO!" The exhale was rattling and shook the house. The poor white rabbit gasped with worry. "She'll sneeze my house to pieces! What shall we do. STOP! STOP!"

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't help. My nose was just tickleing so much and I...I...I..." Alice waited to be sure, and yes another sneeze was coming on for sure. "Ahh...? Ahh? Haa? AhhhHAAchooooooooooooooo!"

The house and Alice shuddered. "Oh dear. I must get out of here. The air is so sooty. If I- AHCHOOOOO! CHOO! Ehhh? Ehhhhhhhh? Ehhhhchooooo!" she sniffled a bit. That seemed all for now. And thank goodness, the house couldn't take more. Alice through teary eyes spotted the rabbits garden of ripening carrots. If she could eat one, perhaps she's shrink again. She reached, but the rabbit stopped her. "No, No! My carrots."

"I'm sorry!" said Alice already picking the rabbit up by the sleeve as he waved the carrot. "But I must eat some-some-so...ohhhhhh d-dear..." Alice tried to turn her head away and trembled in a gasp- "eh-he-he!" But a sneeze was coming and that was that. It would surely break the house. She thought quickly, turned back to the rabbit who was terrifed at her sleepy expression. Her mouth began to open wide, going a note higher each gasp, "Ahh...Ahhhhh....Ahhhhhhhhhh....Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......." the young desperate nearly had great tears streaming down her face. The rabbit shielded himself. She bent her head forward in the middle of an inhale and bit down on the carrot. Then the sneeze camm "AHHHHHH-HAA! - CHOOOOO[/bOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo........" the sneeze got quieter and quieter as she shrunk, but it's force blew her through the air like a breeze till she landed softly on the dusty ground, a dirt tickling just a little more for tiny, delicate, soft, but just as desperate sneeze.

"ah-ha-ahaha-ah! Ah!-choooo!"

She looked at the giant world, recovering compleatly from any tickle or irritation. "Excuse me," she said politely.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Now... if they had put that into the movie... *grins*

Great story!

[billy]

Thanks for reading and commenting. I'm glad you liked it. I actually thought up this story when I was little (not the words or style, just the action, of course!). Ha! I didn't know why the sneezing part always made me feel funny, but I'd always want her to do it again, so i just imagined what could of happened...thanks again.

[Sternuto]

That would have made the cartoon buy worthy! (and possibly given it an 'R' rating!)

[zneeze]

Hot. That was brilliant. Thanks!

[Demosthenes]

Oh! I remember you posted the beginning of this a year or 2 ago, but it only followed what was shown in the movie. I see you expanded on it. Great!

[billy]

Thanks for all your comments guys! The R-rating one cracked me up! What I always wondered about is what kind of direction did the filmmakers give the girl who played Alice during this scene? I mean, come on it's not even you're typical, "Ah, ah, ah...Ahhh...ah-haaa....ahchoooo!" cartoon sneeze at all. What did they say? Her voice is just all over the place. Hmm...

[billy]

Okay, I hope people don't find this annoying, but I added some more. Not story, just dialogue. This is what would have happened if the Catepillar's smoke caused sneezing instead of coughing!! Starts the same, gets a little different in the middle and when she grows large again (which is the excuse for font size)

Caterpillar: A, e i o u, a e i o u, a e i o u, o, u e i o a, u e i a, a e i o u... Who are you?

Alice: I- I- I hardly know, sir! I changed so many times since this morning, you see...

Caterpillar: I do not see. Explain yourself.

Alice: Why, I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know...

Caterpillar: I do not know.

Alice: Well, I can't put it anymore clearly for it isn't clear to me!

Caterpillar: You? Who are you?

Alice: Well, don't you think you ought to tell me- uh-uh-uhhh...UHCHOO! Sorry. Who you are first?

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Oh dear. Everything is so confusing.

Caterpillar: It is not.

Alice: Well, it is to me.

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, I can't remember things as I used to, and...

Caterpillar: Recite.

Alice: Hmm? Oh! Oh, oh, yes, sir! Um... how doth the little busy bee, improve each shi...

Caterpillar: Stop! That is not spoken correcitically. It goes: how...

Alice: Hihihi!

Caterpillar: Hmm! How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer... how cheer... Ahem!

Alice: Hihihihi!

Caterpillar: How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.

Alice: Well I must say I've never heard it that way before...

Caterpillar: I know, I have improved it.

Alice: Well, oh dear, must you blow that smoke at me?

Caterpillar: Why not?

Alice: Well, it's so ticklish, I really don't wish tooo....to...to...

Caterpillar: Come now, make your point

Alice: Ah! Ah! Ah! HaaCHoooo!...to sneeze again.

Catepillar: Then don't.

Alice: Well, I can't he-heh? Heh? Ehhh? Ehhhhhhhh...??? Ahh...I can't help it you keep blowing that - HEEECHOOOO!!! Oh dear! That smoke in my face. Ahchoo!

Catepilliar: Why?

Alice: Oh! Because it tickles my Ah- my na-ah-AH-AHH...oh not aga-agAH? AHHH........Ah, Ah, Ah, CHOO! Choo! Choooo!

Catepillar: Step out of the way.

Alice: Well, if you ask me...

Caterpillar: You? Huh, who are you?

Alice: Oh-oh! Please, no, d-d-don't Ahh-AH-choo! Ahchoo! Ahchoo! Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-HA-CHOO! Ohhh!

Caterpillar: You there! Girl! Wait! Come back! I have something important to say!

Alice: Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now. Well...?

Caterpillar: Cover your mouth

Alice: Is that all?

Caterpillar: No. Exacitically, what is your problem?

Alice: Well, it's exacitici-, exaciti-, well, it's precisely this: I should like to be a little larger, sir.

Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...

Caterpillar: I am exacitically three inches high, and it is a very good height indeed!

Alice: But I'm not used to it. And you needn't shout! Oh dear!

Caterpillar: By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...

Alice: One side of what?

Caterpillar: ...and the other side will make you grow shorter.

Alice: The other side of what?

Caterpillar: The mushroom, of course!!

Alice: Hmm. One side will make me grow... but which is which? Hmm. After all that's happened, I- I wonder if I... I don't care. I'm tired of being only three inches hi-high...oh, no! Not another sn-sneeze. Ahh....AHHH....AHHHHH....[b]AHHHHHHHHHHHH........AHHHHHHHHH

AHH! AH? AH??? AHH?????? AHHHCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

Bird: Ah! A serpent! Aaaaahhh! Help! Serpent! Serpent!

Alice: Excuse me

[dontnoqit]

An excellent reimagining. Nicely done!

[sneezyfeather338]

Fabulous!! Just fabulous!!! I’m tingling all over from the descriptions and images.

[Sneezyflowergal]

Imagine this was in the movie tho- 

[ryan0805]

What a nice story! Thank you for writing this!

[Saimou]

On 7/12/2010 at 6:01 AM, billy said:

Thanks for all your comments guys! The R-rating one cracked me up! What I always wondered about is what kind of direction did the filmmakers give the girl who played Alice during this scene? I mean, come on it's not even you're typical, "Ah, ah, ah...Ahhh...ah-haaa....ahchoooo!" cartoon sneeze at all. What did they say? Her voice is just all over the place. Hmm...

I don’t much remember the cartoon (I haven’t seen it, I think, in, like, 25 years); but, if her sneeze was different, then that would be a positive surprise, for me. Not only is the ”ACHOO!” -type sneeze incredibly cliché, and it’s gotten really old, but it’s also anatomically impossible (at least, in my experience): No natural sneeze contains the voiceless (or voiced, for that matter) post-alveolar sibilant (the ”SH”-sound) or affricate (the ”CH”-sound), because they both require extra effort, in rounding your lips. So, I really don’t get, how English (and so many other languages) have ended up with the sort of stereotypes for sneezes that contain these ”non-sneezy” phonemes. 

[Snakebyte]

It is interesting just how many Alice in Wonderland based stories there are in this community.  Still, this one is quite good!