Coffin Closeness

[Spider Sneezes]

A/N: Written for MadServer's Comment Fic Meme over at LiveJournal, original prompt/post can be found Here This Meme is seriously like a gift from God. Or MadServer. Close enough.

A/N#2: Oh, and apparently I need to learn not to try to post anything before I've had my coffee. The title of this is supposed to be Coffin Contagion - not sure how I managed to mess that up without noticing in time. I'm so awesome, neh?

---

"Fucking cults." Dean spat, twisting, straining his wrists against the wire binding them harshly behind his back.

"Ow, stop it!" Sam hissed when his shoulder knocked into him- his chin, Dean assumed though he couldn't see a damned thing. The back of his head throbbed, where he'd been hit. Hit, then tied up, then tossed into a...

A coffin.

They were in a fucking coffin- the two of them together, like Sam wasn't already sasquatch enough, trussed up and crushed so close together that their legs tangled uncomfortably and Dean could feel his brother's heart beating rapidly against his own chest.

"Do you still have your boot knife?" Dean growled, fighting the urge to writhe some more. Claustrophobic he wasn't, but this was damned uncomfortable- not to mention infuriating. Had he said 'fucking cults' yet? Fucking cults.

"Doh," was Sam's doleful reply, voice thick with congestion. He hadn't sounded this sick that morning, just a few sneezes over breakfast, but Dean still should have sent him right back to bed. Some big brother he was. "They took everythig I had od be."

Dean cursed and let his head fall against the hard wood bottom of their confines. His fingers were already starting to tingle with the loss of circulation; whoever had tied them up hadn't been kidding around.

He tried pressing his shoulder against the coffin lid but it was shut fast. Son of a bitch. He was wracking his brain for ideas when Sam broke the silence with an ominous phrase.

"Oh shih... shit."

"What?"

"S-Sorry, man, I... I've g-godda... hih!" He could feel Sam's chest begin to quake.

"Oh. Oh, no- please tell me you're jo-"

"Heh-ISSHhah!" The hot wet burst against his forehead stole the rest of his protest, left him gaping.

"Sorry..." Sam sniffed thickly, contrite.

Dean's mouth worked soundlessly for a few seconds. Something dripped toward his eyebrow. "Dude!"

"I s-said I was sohh... sorry!"

"No. No- you shut up."

"B-bud I- heh!" His breath was hitching again, warm puffs against Dean's skin.

"Keep it to yourself, man!"

"I'm trahh... tryig..." He could feel Sam squirming, desperate for anywhere to sneeze that wasn't Dean's face but there was just no room to move. At the last second, Dean crushed his face into his brother's curled shoulder, feeling the incredible explosion wrench them both. It was painful and he couldn't hold that position for longer than a few seconds but at least his face was dry.

"Dude." Sam's miserably stuffed up voice now held an edge of pain. "Ged your kdee off by kdee."

"Get your snot off my face." Dean retorted, but uncurled as much as possible, trying to alleviate the pressure of their joints being pressed together.

Sam groaned and coughed. "Fugking cults."

Dean vehemently agreed.

***

Hours passed- at least Dean thought hours had passed, though he really had no way of judging- and Sam was fantasizing about tissues. Literally.

"God, I deed to blow by dose so bad..." He groaned for the millionth time right before gearing up for yet another sneeze.

Dean suppressed a sigh and curled in toward Sam's shoulder, timing it perfectly. They'd had time to practice. "HeitCHOO! Int-CHSH! Heh.. HH-HEH-NTSCHOO!" The damp spray caught the top of his head, hot breath curling down the back of his neck, but he'd long since resigned himself to having snot in his hair.

"Sorry." Sam croaked and coughed some more.

"You done?" Dean's voice was muffled in Sam's shirt.

"I thihhh... thigk so."

"Yeah, that'd be a no." Sam's cramped body was squirming again, a sure sign of a tormented nose. After a moment, he stilled.

"Doh, I thigk I'b dode. By d-dose idches like crazy, bud... w-waid... hih..."

Dean hadn't moved, straining his neck to keep his face shielded from the inevitable. "Hurry it up, man."

"Neehh... hh... heh-ntCHUSH!"

***

"Deed... tissues..." Sam whimpered. Dean refrained from pointing out that he didn't seem to mind using Dean's hair for the time being. Disgusting is what it was, but Sam had progressed from sick to just plain miserable and had officially reached the dreaded Sam Winchester stage of illness when everything he said came out like he was five years old all over again.

And even worse, Dean catered. He couldn't fucking help it, it just happened.

"We'll get you tissues, I promise. First thing when we get out of here, we'll get the biggest box of tissues ever."

"Wid lotion?" Dean could only imagine the puppy dog eyes his brother was currently aiming into the darkness.

"Yes, with lotion. The girliest, lotioniest tissues we can find."

"Ehh... hihIHH!"

Dean sighed and assumed the position.

"Heh-ENCHSH!"

***

His nose itched. His throat felt tight. The air was hot and heavy, thick with hours of their being trapped and, oh yeah, his nose fucking itched.

He growled and pressed his tongue to the roof of his mouth but it just made it worse and before he could do anything else- "YEISHOO!"

All over Sam's neck.

"Dean-"

"One word, Sam, and I swear I'll end you." His own voice rasped painfully.

A short pause, then in a small voice, "I was just goig to suggest we ged two bogxes of girly lotion tissues."

Dean sniffed and rubbed his nose against Sam's shoulder to quell the newly rising itch.

"Yeah. That sounds like a good plan."

[ID2006]

ABSOLUTE AMAZINGNESS

[swann_ee_song]

*2 thumbs up*

It's weird picturing Sam using Dean's hair as a tissue? But points for originality!

[Zane]

haha amazing!! I loved it!!! thanks so much for writing it!!!

[LeapYearKisses]

Awesome situation! XD I love the chest-to-chest confines, and Dean's catering. Awww, Dean. <3 Thanks for sharing!

Now if it were only Dean and Cas and slash... XDDDD

[sneezelove]

soo soo good!!! please continue!!

[LovelyLinda]

Too. Adorable. For. Words.

[Lady Blessington]

I still love the strategic snuggling, and the cold getting passed on to Dean and how he's all embarrassed about it, and the whininess of sick Sam and how Dean just automatically wants to make him happy, and the smexy spellings. Also I love that you were like, "Screw how they got here or how they're getting out. It was a cult. They're gonna be fine. That's all you need to know. Now let's talk about the colds." HECK YES let's talk about the colds.

[BlueRandom]

So wrong and so hot.

It's like getting Sam and Dean in a box. Literally.

This is very very awesome and so much hotness. And the sneezy Sam was perfection.

[Spider Sneezes]

ABSOLUTE AMAZINGNESS

Thank you so much!

*2 thumbs up*

It's weird picturing Sam using Dean's hair as a tissue? But points for originality!

Haha, I'd imagine they found it just as awkward as it was happening. Glad you liked it anyway!

haha amazing!! I loved it!!! thanks so much for writing it!!!

Thank you so much for reading it!

Awesome situation! XD I love the chest-to-chest confines, and Dean's catering. Awww, Dean. <3 Thanks for sharing!

I think it's just instinct for Dean- if Sammy is unhappy, it's his job to fix it. I'm also pretty sure he facepalms when he thinks back on conversations like these, realizing how much he just babies his little brother.

soo soo good!!! please continue!!

I don't think there'll be any more of this scenario, but now I'm all excited and feel like writing so hopefully you'll be seeing more from me. I'm glad you liked it!

Too. Adorable. For. Words.

The Winchesters tend to be that way, no matter what they're doing. It's why we love them so much.

I still love the strategic snuggling, and the cold getting passed on to Dean and how he's all embarrassed about it, and the whininess of sick Sam and how Dean just automatically wants to make him happy, and the smexy spellings. Also I love that you were like, "Screw how they got here or how they're getting out. It was a cult. They're gonna be fine. That's all you need to know. Now let's talk about the colds." HECK YES let's talk about the colds.

HAH, yeah, you can tell I'm not a very deep writer- I just wanna see the sneeziness. And besides, hey- they're the Winchesters! Of course they're gonna get out somehow, right? They're just awesome like that.

And I am SO glad you liked the spellings. That's the thing I'm the most nervous about in sneeze-fics.

So wrong and so hot.

It's like getting Sam and Dean in a box. Literally.

This is very very awesome and so much hotness. And the sneezy Sam was perfection.

*squee!* I'm so happy you liked it!

[27jj]

This Meme is seriously like a gift from God. Or MadServer. Close enough.

Bahahahaha. YES.

OMFG I haven’t even commented on this at the meme yet, because how do you expect me to be coherent after so much hotness? Such freaking hot Sam-sneezes. My god, the spellings were so good, and the way Sam was trying desperately not to sneeze, and when Dean was like, “Are you done sneezing?” and Sam is like, “I think so”, and Dean’s like, “So, no.”

And the descriptions, like Sam’s chest quaking, and hot wet burst sneeze, and Sam squirming being a sign that his nose is itchy… And of course I loved the ending (yay contagion!) and the way Dean just rubs his nose on Sam’s shoulder.

Also, now I am fantasizing about Sam fantasizing about tissues, and for that I thank you.

IIIIII LOVEEEEEEE YOUUUUU.

[Spider Sneezes]

OMFG I haven’t even commented on this at the meme yet, because how do you expect me to be coherent after so much hotness? Such freaking hot Sam-sneezes. My god, the spellings were so good, and the way Sam was trying desperately not to sneeze, and when Dean was like, “Are you done sneezing?” and Sam is like, “I think so”, and Dean’s like, “So, no.”

And the descriptions, like Sam’s chest quaking, and hot wet burst sneeze, and Sam squirming being a sign that his nose is itchy… And of course I loved the ending (yay contagion!) and the way Dean just rubs his nose on Sam’s shoulder.

Also, now I am fantasizing about Sam fantasizing about tissues, and for that I thank you.

IIIIII LOVEEEEEEE YOUUUUU.

WEE! Coming from you, this makes me so ridiculously happy! I'm dangerously close to dancing in my chair, which is something I only do unless something seriously epic just happened.

And I'm glad you liked Dean's nose rubbing- I wasn't sure anybody would find that as squee-worthy as I do.

Today is awesome!

[obsessed]

OHGOSH. That is the best ending ever.

CUTECUTECUTE.