BananaTree Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 My PSP can't copy and paste so I have to link it. If a Mod wants to copy and paste it for me I would appreciate it, but you don't have to. You can comment here or review anon on the site I'm linking you to. I'd rather you comment here please.My first sneeze-fic so go easy on me. http://www.fanworks.org/view.php?storyid=50475&start=1 I hope it did it right...hehe. I made a new account on that site so I can post more fics!Revenge is Best Served Cold-Germs*~*Her eyes were puffy and swollen, her nose bright red, her cheeks flushed. She sniffed and her full sinus cavities ached, no air penetrating the gunk that blocked them. She sobbed again, reaching for another tissue and blowing harshly into it, her chapped nostrils stinging.Crying with a cold is not the smartest thing to do.She had been like this since last night when she found out. This morning her throat hurt but she thought it was dry, due to her all night of hysteria. She soon found out she was wrong. That scratchy throat and slight cough she had been experiencing for three days was indeed a cold. She was now in the full thick of it and she didn't even know until it was too late.This just made it all the more worse. Yesterday her friend Chloe called and told her that she saw pictures of her boyfriend Richard with some bimbo at a dance club, posted all over said bimbo's Facebook.Stacie promptly logged on and checked for herself. Richard was all over some tall skinny blonde, groping her gross gigantic boobs all over the place. Then there was the one where they kissed...She just couldn't believe it. After six months she finds out that he's like this. She couldn't believe that the perfect man she thought she could trust was, in reality, just like the rest of them. She cleared her throat, and choked as more tears fell.If he was into tall, skinny, fake looking blonde sluts then why was he with her for six months? What did he want out of it? They weren't living together. She wasn't a wifely type. She didn't take care of him or buy his groceries, so why did he want her around? Just to cheat on her and hurt her for the fun of it?She sniffled and immediately regretted doing it. A burning reached the upper back of her right nostril and she groaned reaching for a clump of tissues as the tickle overwhelmed both sides. Her breath hitched as she held the tissues up. ``Eh...'' Her face hung in the air anticipating the oncoming assault to her nasal passages, frozen in a painful expression, the relief never coming for what seemed ages. Finally she inhaled and held the tissues to her face. ``Ahh...Eh-inxckphew!'' The wetness squished out of her, exploding into the tissues, ruining them in one swoop. She didn't have time to grab anymore as another tickle erupted through her. No recover time, she held her soaked tissues to her nose as a barrage began marching from her face.``Ah...aeh...eh-exxchfffpphew! INXXCKFPHEW! XXXCKPEW! '' She sat back and sighed as the tickle was finally gone. She removed her dissolved tissues from her face and threw them on the floor. ``I wish I was dead...'' She sobbed in her congested voice.Her phone beeped a text and she reached for it on the coffee table to look.-'how r u?'-``Oh, like you care, you bastard...'' For some reason she texted him back out of habit.-``im sick...''-She frowned. Why did she tell him that? She crossed her arms and pouted. He was a total germphobe and couldn't be around her when she was sick. The one thing he hated most was germs.God, he was so fake. He gave off the air of the smart businessman, the well dressed nice guy, the easygoing friend, the shoulder to cry on and in reality he was a big baby who was afraid of germs yet was still unafraid enough to hang all over some strange girl at a club. She didn't know who he was anymore...The very reason she didn't tell him she knew was because she got sick right after. The last thing she wanted was to tell him while she looked like shit. No, she wanted to look gorgeous, sexy beyond belief to dump his cheating ass. Not red nosed and coughing, sneezing snot everywhere. Yeah, that would be real painful for him to be dumped by that. The phone beeped and she looked again.-'aw hun thats 2 bad. get some rest'-``Nothing else? Wow, what effort, you pig! You worthless--'' A round of hacking interrupted her rage and she threw her phone down. ``Ugh...'' A picture of the end table of the two of them seemed to mock her and she picked her her dilapidated tissues and threw them at the photo. They slid down the front of the glass and stuck to it momentarily before simply sliding down and staying at the bottom. His face was covered in snot and she stared at the photo for a bit as the gears began turning in her head.Her eyes moved over to the hook by her front door, her keys hanging on it. It was a few months ago that he gave her the key to his place. She wasn't going to answer his text but decided some information was needed before she proceeded. She picked up her phone and opened the text window.-``when do u get home from work?''- After a few seconds he answered.-'7 why'-She smiled. She closed her phone and stood up. She needed to get dressed before she went out. Sniffling and coughing she shuffled to the bedroom. She felt like hell but this was worth it.Her phone beeped again, but she was long gone out the door, keys in hand.-'babe? U there?'-She pulled into his drive and slinked up the walk. She reached the front door and looked around, wiping her ed nose on her palm. There was no reason to sneak around, the neighbors had seen her there countless times, it wasn't abnormal. But she didn't want them to see her there and tell Rich that they had seen her. The street looked pretty dead and it appeared that no one was around. She unlocked the front door and slid inside. She shut the door behind her and looked around. Everything was neat and perfect like always and she scoffed at it all.She stood there in the silence and thought about what she was going to do. She smirked and wrung her dry hands. So many choices, where to start? Her eyes fell to the kitchen and she sneered wickedly. Yes, it was the best place to start. Even if he didn't touch anything else he would eventually have to eat...Her hand gingerly swept against the back of the couch as she walked in, heading straight for the drawer. She slowly opened it, like someone enjoying chocolate ice-cream. The sliver of his utensils glimmered in the sunlight pouring in from the window.This was too easy.She grabbed all his spoons and slammed them on the counter. She leaned over them and licked her chapped lips. She picked one up and inserted it into her mouth, running her coated tongue all over it, pulling it out like a lollipop. She had never tasted anything so good. She did the same to every last spoon and then moved on to his forks and then his knives, licking them up and down almost in a seductive manor. She placed them gingerly back in their slots in the drawer, making it appear nothing had been touched and closed the drawer.What was next? She opened his cabinets and saw his pretty plates. She let loose a wet coughing fit and shut the door. The kitchen and bathroom were the most used places in the house and on her way to his bathroom she licked his T.V. Remotes, coughed all over his couch and spit on his jacket which was hanging by the front door.She entered the bathroom and wiped her face with his towel, licked his doorknobs and spit all over his sink. She took his mouth-wash, swished it around in her mouth and spit it back in the bottle. Next was the toothbrush. She sucked on it like a popsicle, placing it back in the holder. She walked into his bedroom and smelled his cologne covering the bedsheets. The smell irritated her and she felt the tickle back in full force. She began to hold it back but then remembered; What an opportunity!She slightly pulled back his blankets, revealing the plump, bloated, silk covered piece of trash that he laid his head upon at night. The tickle became unbearable but she relished it as it overtook her and she inhaled large, preparing for the onslaught. ``Ahh...hi...he-izznchphhhew!'' She released all over his defenseless bed pillows. ``EH-ZZZPEW! PEEEW!'' She sighed and smiled, placing the blanket back over them as if nothing happened.She stood at the front door, gazing at her damage. Nothing had been moved, nothing had been changed. Most would slash his couch and mattress and break all he owned, cut all his clothes, but she decided the stealth way was the best way.She blew her nose in a tissue, making a very wet, ``blllllllllzzzzzzzzzz'' before she held her head high and opened the door.``Hell hath no fury like a wo...ma...a--an...ehh...EH-INXXXCHPHEW! Ugh...Just screw you, asshole.'' And she marched out proud and slammed the door.``WHAT??!!'' He roared. ``What do you mean you told Stace I was cheating?!'''Well, it looks like you!' Chloe defended on the other end.``It does not!'' He scoffed as he went through the pictures. ``This guy has a goatee and his hair is darker! How could you both think this was me?!'''Well, the lighting is kinda poor in the pics...but he does have your nose and your chin...kinda?' She laughed nervously as he slapped his forehead.``She didn't say anything about it to me, so I hope she knows it isn't me. I can't believe this! I gotta get to her!'' He hung up on Chloe and sped out of the office, spouting a 'family emergency' as he ran to his car.He just hoped that she hadn't done anything rash.~End Link to comment
Butch Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Miss Monstro - Congrats on posting your first fic! I LOVED it. At first, I thought I knew where the story was going.. but then it got really FUNNY (which I hope was your intention!) and then the ending..oh my! Have you written any more stories? If you have, please post them. Link to comment
BananaTree Posted January 20, 2011 Author Share Posted January 20, 2011 I have a few ideas! Unfortunatly I have to post them on fanworks.org. It's the only site I've found that I can upload off my PSP. Thank you! Link to comment
Butch Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 Miss Monstro - Hopefully someone here can help you out with posting to this board. I'm glad to hear you have more ideas. I'd love to read them. Link to comment
snuffle-bunny Posted January 20, 2011 Share Posted January 20, 2011 I love this!! What a good idea for revenge! And so well written. Link to comment
count tiszula Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Very nice; and I can see a second part coming.....Of course, she could have saved a bit of time by inducing....and had more fun too.... Link to comment
Tarkus Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Hilarious, hot , and original... and a pissy, sneezy girlfriend?! YEEES! Your fic was amazing Monstro; I hope you shall continue to write more! Link to comment
RoseFever Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 LOL! That was so epic! xD I read the part of her messing up (cant think of a better word) all of her boyfriends stuff at least 10 times xDDBeautiful, I would love to see more <3 Link to comment
foreverajerseygirl Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm totally enjoying this! Link to comment
Jorm Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I was so not expecting the ending! Absolutely brilliant and enjoyable throughout! I really, really liked this! Hot and hilarious! I'd love to see a sequel of the repercussions if you have any desire to write it Link to comment
Dye Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 Ahaha, this is great! The ending was so unexpected and asdfghjkl I hope there's more~ <33 Link to comment
ilovesneezing Posted January 23, 2011 Share Posted January 23, 2011 this is awesome!!!!! LOVED the ending! Link to comment
Vetinari Posted January 31, 2011 Share Posted January 31, 2011 Oh dear .... poor Richard! I wonder what happens next! Link to comment
Rolling Rebel Posted February 1, 2011 Share Posted February 1, 2011 Brilliant idea, I definitely wasn't expecting the ending! Link to comment
sneeze@me Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 this is rly hot. i'd love to read more! Link to comment
NoV Posted February 3, 2011 Share Posted February 3, 2011 Congratulations on your first fic Miss Monstro! I really enjoyed reading this and would love to hear more... Link to comment
Kiwifruit Posted February 6, 2011 Share Posted February 6, 2011 Oh man, that cracked me up! xD Very well done Awesome idea for a fic, and awesome ending! I've always loved the deliberately-infecting-someone-else fics, and the twist in this one was very funny. Thanks very much for sharing this!! Link to comment
caligulasArmageddons Posted March 30, 2011 Share Posted March 30, 2011 -laugh-(I'm not a big fan of emoticons.)This...Is...Just...I was not expecting that. This absolutely DEMANDS a second part! Link to comment
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