Waitingroomklok

[Anonymouse]

All characters are from Metalocalypse.

This was originally intended to be a drabble, but I suck at being concise. So here’s a dramble. A drabble/ramble. A dethdramble. Whatever. Enjoy.

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With more Klokateers calling out sick from work everyday, Charles Ofdensen decided that it was necessary to hold a brief “Health in the Workplace” seminar, complete with a Facebones instructional video on how to wash your hands frequently, cough and sneeze into your elbow, and make other such healthy choices to keep yourself and those around you from getting sick. This stuff was common sense even to most children nowadays, but Charles knew a few men, five in particular, who were chronically lacking in common sense. He made it mandatory that every member of Dethklok attend as well, and they did, though broodingly.

To their credit, they did take Facebones’s advice to heart, for the most part. They started adding a little orange juice to their morning vodka. They got a lot of rest – maybe a little too much, as they were straggling into the recording studio for their morning sessions closer to five in the evening. Pickles took to carrying a little container of hand sanitizer, which he passed around frequently, often sparking debate over whether the alcohol in the gel made it drinkable or not. Nathan was convinced that it would work even better at keeping them healthy than drinking bleach, and Charles often found them huddled in closets together daring each other to try it.

Despite these precautions, Toki still managed to catch something, as only Toki could. He showed up to the recording studio coughing and sneezing, and had to be escorted out at the angry protests of his now extremely health conscience band mates. “Do you think you need to see a doctor?” Charles asked him in the hallway, adjusting his glasses and taking a step back better analyze young guitarist’s sickly appearance.

Toki shrugged halfheartedly, surprisingly less vocal than usual now that he felt so terrible.

All of the Klokateers with drivers’ licenses had called out sick that day. Charles took it upon himself to drive Toki to the doctor, leaving Nathan in charge of the practice (“I’ve totally got this!” he had roared, and pointing at Toki, added “Just get him out of here!”). They sat in the waiting room in silence. Charles could not recall ever experiencing such quiet while sharing a room with Toki.

But it wasn’t all quiet. Toki sat beside him, kicking his feet impatiently like a child, but unlike a child his legs were long enough that his feet touched the floor and his boots scraped across the ground with every kick. He kept glancing at the children’s toys in the corner of the room, his eyes narrowing with jealousy every time a little girl or boy toddled over to play with the puzzles or the chunky picture books. He scowled at a baby playing with a Jack-in-the-box in its mother’s lap.

“We dodn’ts haves cools boxes whats shoots out clownds on sprigs,” Toki pouted, nearly incomprehensible now that both his accent and his congestion were mangling his words.

“I’m sure with your money you could afford to buy a hundred, if you’d like,” Charles suggested. “Though I think you’d be better off saving your money for more important things.”

Toki folded his arms and continued sulking like a petulant child, glaring at the ground. Charles sighed quietly and gazed forward again, only glancing back over when he heard the guitarist’s breathing starting to hitch. Toki was clearly about to sneeze, his hands positioned inches from his face.

“Ah ah,” Charles reminded him in a warning tone, “where did Facebones say you should sn-?”

“Hessht’chhaa!”

Toki had interrupted by sneezing all over Charles. At his manager’s urging he had tried to redirect the sneeze to his elbow, but he couldn’t coordinate the maneuver quickly or accurately enough and missed his elbow by a few inches. He stared at Charles now, stunned, as the older man calmly took off his glasses and wiped the spray off the lenses with his sleeve.

“Not a problem,” Charles assured him.

Toki glanced at the ground and kicked his feet sheepishly.

[SweaterWeather]

Aww waaay to cute! I freakin LOVE Toki and ever sincE I saw that metalocalypse ep. where the band got sick (no snezzing, unfourtunately. darn ) my love for him has grown. Btw 'Blankets' was freaking amazing!!

[ichixshiro14]

I love this start, and great characterization

[kilala]

Love it, Toki is so cute!

Which episode do they get sick in? How did I miss that?

[murphy dee]

"Not a problem." - What a perfectly Charles thing to say. I'm loving this so far! I hope Toki isn't contagious (pssst...I totally hope he's contagious).

Also: Pickles and the hand sanitizer, omg. And I can totally picture all of them in closet talking about drinking it.

[Anonymouse]

Thanks everyone. I didn't really intend on continuing this, it was just a drabble on steroids.

kilala, it's called "Sicklok", or "The Revengencers". Nathan gets a summer cold and they all catch it (of course Murderface is the only one who sneezes ). They all sound cute and congested though, especially Skwisgaar and Pickles (you can't even understand what Pickles is saying, it cracks me up). They end up performing at a hospital for the fans that got injured in an explosion.

Murphy D, he's totally contagious. Even if he wasn't 80% of Charles' staff is suffering from the epidemic, plus he'll be in the waiting room for a bit and you can pretty much get sick from those even if you're just there for a well visit.

[blackrose]

i'd just like to say that i'm wile i'm not very fond of the show (the language is to vulgar and the humor too base for my taste) i LOVE these fics! they are just awesome! speaking of which though i have not commented on your other fic "the kissing disease" recently i have been keeping an eye out for updates! keep up the awesome work!

P.S. you have made a toki fan out of me even if i don't like the show!

[Anonymouse]

Thanks blackrose! That makes me so happy. Sadly the show isn't everyone's cup of tea. I was put off by the excessive gore at first, but I started to love the characters so much I just overlooked it. I've also seen that there's much worse out there in terms of violence (ie, Superjail, which terrifies me) so I just learned to deal with it. I'm glad you like Toki though, he's my favorite.

I plan on updating The Mono Duo very soon. It's going to be an emotional chapter so I really want to give it my all, and that's hard to do with all the work I need to get done by the end of the week. Hopefully this weekend though!