Timing.

[glitter]

* I'm posting this on my phone- it keeps going wrong so I apologise now if I've managed to double post or something :/

- set in Series 5. Actually to be specific, set in the gap between episode 5 (Last Resort) and episode 6 (Joy). So if you haven't seen Series 5 there are probably mild spoilers.

There's little actual sneezing in this first part- sorry!!

EMETOPHOBE WARNING!! Mentions of the v* word. Moderate I'd say.

TIMING ~

Lisa Cuddy cursed her timing. She'd been unwell once since employing House. House the all- seeing. And that one time, the time she'd been properly ill, not the sniffles or worse than normal period pains, but the big guns- she'd come down with a horrible stomach virus. She couldn't leave the bathroom, much less come to work. House had remained mercifully oblivious to her sickness.

This time she suspected she'd be less lucky.

 

On Monday she'd made a massive fuss about sharing office space with House whilst hers was re-done following the hostage situation.

On Tuesday House had agreed to share a desk on the condition she'd wear low cut tops for the duration of the experience.

On Wednesday she'd felt the beginnings of a sore throat, but passed it off as being over tired and the result of many shouting contests with House.

On Thursday, she'd woken up with a splitting headache, streaming nose, high fever and a very hoarse voice.

 

She really would bring about her own downfall.

 

Cursing her immune system's skills at failing on the very week she'd be sharing an office with the most observant of them own. Since being a very young child, Lisa Cuddy hated the idea of anyone knowing she was unwell. She could hide it from many people. Unfortunetely, Greg House was not one such person.

 

She dosed up on paracetamol and decongestants, knowing they'd be futile. This wasn't a measly cold that she could easily hide with a few pills. You don't get 101.9F fevers with a little cold. By the time she'd gotten into work, the mere decision to leave her bed was seeming more and more stupid.

For once, it seemed House's lack of time keeping skills would work to her advantage. If she was lucky he wouldn't show his face till 11am. Which gave her nearly 3 hours of relative peace in which to sniffle, sneeze, shiver and generally feel like crap in private.

There had been a few awkward moments when Cameron had come searching for House and immediately spotted her bosses pink nose and pale clammy palor.

"Are you okay Dr. Cuddy?"

"Fine, thank you Dr. Cameron. Can I help you?"

"Urrrrm, no, I'm just looking for House? I've got a patient for him."

"I'll let him know if he ever makes it in."

"Okay, thank you. Umm are you sure you're okay? You're looking really pale you know."

"I'll give House that file."

Knowing that Cameron had seen how awful she felt, the second she left she allowed her head to loll towards the desk, her neck hurting like the rest of her body, aching with fever, and she was struggling to remember a time she'd ever felt this unwell before.

Around 10.30am, she dipped out to the bathroom, returning with a large stash of tissue to tend to her persistantly running nose. The nausea was continuing to build and the constant sniffling was not helping.

Walking through the glass doors her heart sank as she saw House having a loud discussion with Thirteen, Taub, Kutner and Foreman, probably about the patient Cameron had brought them. Sinking into her chair, Cuddy wanted nothing more than for House to just stop talking, her head was banging more intensely than it had all day.

So absorbed in these thoughts, she didn't notice his voice stop, and him limp into the office.

 "Why hello there, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"House, we've been sharing an office all week."

"Oh, have we really? I thought it was a certain evil bureaucratic witch who'd invaded my office...."

"House I am so not in the mood you cannot imagine" Cuddy snapped, with a tiny sniff she hoped would slip by unnoticed.

"Well clearly, EBW, as I call her in private, wink wink, has been replaced by DIL"

"I'll take your word for it." God she felt terrible. She wanted to sneeze but knew if she did that her entire body would betray her. She could endure many indignities. Vomiting over her most irritating employee was not covered.

"Aww Cuddles stop ruining my game and ask what DIL stands for!"

"Fine if it gets you to let me get on with this in peace, what is DIL?"

"Disgustingly Ill Woman. Which you quite clearly are. And now since you're in such close proximity, I can only assume you did this intentionally to infect us lovely doctors. Well, me."

"House. Not now."

"Are you seriously trying to deny how sick you are?"

"I am not sick."

"Other than the fever, looks high, I'd say at least 102F by now, the sore throat, headache and sneezing, yeah you're just fine. Oh, and this."

In one swift mood he grabbed the trash can from under their newly shared desk, and shoved it into her arms.

She blinked in confusion for several seconds before beginning to retch, bending over the can as she was horribly ill.

"Cuddles as much as I like the view down your shirt whilst your bent over that can, if you keel over from not looking after yourself, well, the only thing I'll have to look at will be someone's penis. And, I'm a boob man. We all know that."

He would never admit it, but she was worrying him a tiny bit. He'd seen Cuddy try to hide the sniffles many times, watched her wriggle uncomfortably in chairs in meetings as she fought the vice like grip of especially bad period pains. He'd even watched her gracefully hide a miscarriage from everyone and still appear as composed as she ever did. But this was different. Never before had he watched her vomit at her desk because she was just too weak to move. Or seen her wince at the softest words because of the pain pounding through her head.

His main concern however was her fever. Only 10 minutes ago she'd entered the office, shaking and shivering but strong enough to walk.

Now he noted her glassy eyes, the vacant expression on her face and the fine layer of sweat that covered her face, neck and chest.

"Cuddy I'm taking you home."

"But.... Meetings. I need to-"

"You need to go home. Before you put me off anymore meals. I'm not feeling up to stealing Wilson's breakfast anymore."

At this, she attempted to stand up to reassert her control.

She watched as the world span at an alarming rate and her vision clouded over.

He watched her eyes unfocus, her arms reaching out to the wall to attempt to steady herself.

~

[sneezychick93]

I dont even watch house but I love this!

[ID2006]

very nice.

[glitter]

Not gonna lie, the fact that anyone not only read this but actually enjoyed it and commented makes me very happy

So thank you Sneezychick and Ickydog

Hopefully shall post the next section on the morrow.

[Dopey]

Not gonna lie, the fact that anyone not only read this but actually enjoyed it and commented makes me very happy

So thank you Sneezychick and Ickydog

Hopefully shall post the next section on the morrow.

House fic!!! *brings out the confetti*

As a hopeless House addict, I approve of this very very much!!!

Also, please continue!

and adding a secret wish, add some Wilson pretty please?

ooh oh another secret wish, have Cuddy infect Dr. Crankypants aka House Just cuz there was so much tension between them in this season 5 arc.

okay...*sits down quietly and waits for you to do what you do so well*

[sneezytwilight]

WOW This is amazing! Love this one! I will definitly be back for more!!

[ichixshiro14]

The way you keep them in-character thrills me! Sounds like somebody is headed for a nasty flu....lolz THanks for sharing, I do hope you'll continue

[glitter]

Firstly, everyone's responses made me so happy its insane appreciate it big time !!!

Secondly, sorry it took me a few days to post this.

- I have written another 3 or so sections of this story, I have no plans for it after that, I'm notoriously bad at finishing stories- in fact I never do- they tend to go on and on and on for hours.

- as before- emetophobes beware.

~

It took several minutes before she came round, lying on the floor with a scrub top folded under her head.

 

"If only you'd stop being so repulsive with all this vomit and snot, the view from here would be oh-so-sweet." He was trying to mask his worry. But in truth, he'd felt her forehead when almost killing himself lowering her to the ground. Her fever had spiked, she needed to go home, but she was too goddamn stubborn to accept help. Or too disorientated.

 

 >Lisa Cuddy was confused. She was lying on the floor of House's office and she didn't know why. She vaguely remembered talking to House. She didn't know why she was on the floor and that confused her.

"I want to go to my desk now please."

"No. You need to go home. I'll take you." House was gruffer than normal, this made Cuddy laugh, as she pictured him as a troll under a bridge for some reason even her fevered brain would not understand.

Concern flashed across his face, an emotion he didn't believe he'd felt since at least 1995. He paged Wilson, his leg unable to support both of them to his car.

 

>The next thing Cuddy knew, her mouth tasted horrible and bitter and she had no idea why. She tried to open her eyes, but they hurt and she shut them again. Her stomach felt funny. But she was so tired. Suddenly she was floating through the hair. Her legs didn't hurt anymore. She liked this feeling.

 

House and Wilson managed to get Cuddy to the car. Eventually. They'd stopped several times. Once at the hospital pharmacy. Once to grab a thermometer. Once in the carpark for her to vomit all over herself and both men's shoes.

 

"She's not looking after herself you know House. Did you feel how light she was to lift her into the car?"

"I'll look after her."

"Okay, well I'll be around after 6 to check all's okay. I'll bring some food- not that it looks like she'll be keeping much down-"

 

The men's worried whispers were interrupted by a harsh series of noise from inside the car.

"Herr- shuuu! Irkshuu!. Ker- Shuuu. Arr- Hatchuuuuu." The feverish woman could barely lift her hand to her face. With uncharacteristic care, House lent over to her and peered into her face.

"Right I'm gonna get contagious-bodily-fluids-gal here home."

"Okay, well take care of both of you. I'll cover for her at the hospital."

 

Once Wilson disappeared, House dabbed at his bosses hands and face with a tissue. She desperately needed to shower and change by this stage.

"Grrrrreg. I hurt" Her voice came out as rough and congested, with a strange childlike quality.

"Right, woman with enough viruses on her hands alone to fell a battalion, I'm going to need your help here.

After almost a quarter of an hour, the unlikely pair had shuffled into House's ground floor flat.

Cuddy was barely well enough to know what her house looked like, let alone to be aware that this was not it.

~

I hope you guys continue to read/ like this!

[sneezytwilight]

EEEEPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPP!!! Amazing! In a way House is caring about Cuddles! I love it! Can't wait for more!

[Dopey]

House was gruffer than normal, this made Cuddy laugh, as she pictured him as a troll under a bridge for some reason even her fevered brain would not understand.

this line is just so damn funny!

I'm seriously not into female sneezing but the story itself is just so well written, easy to read, and funny! You are very witty indeed, which is the best quality as a House-fic writer!

I hope you write more! Because I will be coming back to check on this story soon crossing my fingers for more MORE mORE!

[glitter]

AAWW Dopey that response made me smile so much

So did yours Sneezytwilight. I do love you guys.

Right. I have a confession. I left my phone in a taxi on Tuesday night. I have some of this story stored on my computer, but the last bits were only on my phone. This means that I have to track down the rest, and re-write the end. Which is rather a pain.

So I will post the next bit tonight I PROMISE!!!!!!

[sneezytwilight]

Awww. I'm sorry. Don't rush yourself!

[Dopey]

AAWW Dopey that response made me smile so much

So did yours Sneezytwilight. I do love you guys.

Right. I have a confession. I left my phone in a taxi on Tuesday night. I have some of this story stored on my computer, but the last bits were only on my phone. This means that I have to track down the rest, and re-write the end. Which is rather a pain.

So I will post the next bit tonight I PROMISE!!!!!!

I really hope you retrieve your phone soon!

Sucks loosing a phone!

No rush, once you continue the story I will be happily waiting to read it!