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House/Wilson untitled shorts!!!


Dopey

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DISCLAIMER:do not read this if you do not want spoilers for the latest House episode! This is a post-bombshells one-shot, i might do more, don't know if anyone would actually read this since it is from such a recent episode but i wrote it cuz i had to :D

He dragged himself off of the cold tile floors of his bathroom, pulling most of his weight on his non-throbbing left leg; he placed a hand on his extremely achy right one. He could feel the sickness coming as he got up to his feet, heart and head pounding at an irregular pace, created a symphony of madness in his head.

And the leg, the damn leg, it didn’t hurt this way for months, but now, it was almost too painful to handle.

He somehow made his way to the couch, sighing, he began to tremble madly, perhaps it was the Vicodin, or the fact that he was so damn upset, he didn’t care, he just wanted to forget.

He took the pill bottle out of his pocket, checked his watch, 15 minutes since he saw Cuddy last, 13 minutes since she broke up with him, 10 minutes since his last two Vicodin pills, making it a total of 4 pills for today, making it a total of 4 pills this year as a matter of fact, he popped the bottle open and dry swallowed two more, 6 pills this years, 6 pills in 10 hours.

There was a knock on the door, it didn’t sound like Cuddy’s knock, he chuckled, why would it be anyway? This was a Wilson knock.

He didn’t answer, he didn’t get up, the door was open, and if Wilson wanted in, he could easily manage, and he did.

“House?” he heard his friends voice call. He didn’t answer.

Wilson slowly stepped into the quiet living room, he looked at House, who didn’t look back, his expression low, staring at his own shoes, Wilson noted his eyes we’re red, his pupils dilated.

“How many?” Wilson asked as he took a seat next to his friend. No answer.

“House…” Wilson warned.

No answer.

“Not now Wilson…” House croaked in a low voice.

“I can’t believe this…” Wilson said, he combed his fingers through his hair, “You’re unbelievable…”

But before Wilson could even finish his thought, House ducked to the nearest trash bin and emptied the contents of his stomach violently.

It didn’t take very long, House wasn’t used to this amount of Vicodin anymore, and his body was protesting his foolish decisions in the past hours. Wilson helped him up and leaned him back on the couch, House coughed, closing his eyes; he winced as he placed his hand on his right thigh.

“You’re a mess…” Wilson said under his breath.

“You are a genius at stating the obvious…” House said, his voice weak.

“Oh…” Wilson said, “I didn’t know we we’re playing this game again… Do you want to deflect this by telling me how my relationships are a mess? Go ahead, I’m game if it will mean you won’t puke again…”

House didn’t know why, but he smiled. He wasn’t happy, not at all, in fact, he had never felt so lost and miserable in his entire life, he had no clue what he wanted or needed to do next, he felt nothing but pity for himself, he felt stupid for feeling pity for himself, he felt angry for feeling stupid… There was no way out of it really.

Wilson observed his friend, “Your leg hurts…” He stated.

“Everything hurts…” House whispered.

Wilson sighed, “Vicodin wasn’t the most brilliant of ideas…”

House closed his eyes, “Not in the mood for a lecture…”

“Are you going to be sick again?” Wilson asked, kicking the trash bin closer to his friend just in case.

“Please go away…” House pleaded with him.

Wilson sighed, “You shouldn’t be alone…”

“If I wanted mothering I would have called my mom…”

“I am just trying to…”

“No seriously, she would feed me ice-cream and tell me there would be other girls…”

“Stop deflecting…”

“We would cry and laugh…”

“House!” Wilson bellowed. He shot House a sharp look, which made House curve his eyebrow in a very puppy dog matter.

Wilson sighed, “This is not okay…” He didn’t let House escape his gaze.

House swallowed harshly, “I know…” he said weakly. His nose tickled, at first, he thought he was about to cry or something stupid like that, but his body shot forward when he realized what really was going on…

“Arkkktvhchhhh-Ah eh RChhhhhhhkkkshhh” He sneezed; he leaned back and let out a few coughs.

“Bless…” Wilson said, “You’re a mess…”

sniff* “D’ank you captn’ obvious…” House said, finding it useless to even hide the congestion in his voice.

“You’re welcome, master deflector… “ Wilson smiled, ironically, he wasn’t happy either, but he did non the less…

“Atchhhkkshh!” House sneezed again; this didn’t pass unnoticed by Wilson.

“Either you’re allergic to break ups or you’re coming down with something…” He noted.

House coughed, “Whatever it is I deserve it…” He popped the bottle open and took a Vicodin out. Wilson raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously?” He asked.

House smiled, weakly, “Is anything ever serious?” he swallowed the pill.

Wilson sighed, he got up and went to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” House asked.

Wilson poked his head from the kitchen door, “I’m gonna stay and hang out for a while, cool with that?”

House sniffed, then processed, “Ok…” He finally said coldly.

Edited by Dopey
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Ooooo... House & Wilson- YAY!! Friendship- with the whole hurt/comfort thing- LOVE!!

Would love to see more. *bats eyelashes*

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Message board won't let me edit my posts yet but i kind of felt the need to close my one-shot better, so it's a two-shot now:

“Atkkchhh—Phhkkkshhh-aerrrchhhSHHh!” House let out a series of sneezes; his body shook as Wilson came over from the other room, with a wet cloth at hand.

“I don’t…Arttchh! N..need…erchhh! … a babysitter…” House tried to complete a full coherent sentence but his whole body wouldn’t allow that, he was shaking violently as he kept sneezing and coughing uncontrollably.

“Sure you don't…” Wilson said as he placed the cold cloth on House’s forehead. To his own surprise, House didn’t shake it off or protest, he just gave Wilson a despicable look.

Wilson has been in House’s apartment for two hours, noticing his friends symptoms worsen as time went by, at first he thought it was just the Vicodin irritating his system, he then suspected it was just House’s way of breaking down in self pity, now he was pretty sure that no matter which of the above, if not both, we’re the cause, it was making House sick.

“She’s upset too you know…” Wilson tried to reason with House, reasoning always made House feel better, but not this time, because when it came to Cuddy, nothing was reasonable.

House opened his tired blue eyes, adjusting the cloth on his forehead, “Will you go away now?” He asked hoarsely and coughed.

Wilson sighed, he sat down next to House and picked up the orange bottle from the coffee table, “You do know this is not going to go away even if I go away, right?”

“Why don’t you do the noble thing and throw them away then? Akkttkrshhhhch!” House asked sarcastically, though the sneeze at the end kind of killed his mojo.

“Because…” Wilson said as he handed House a tissue, “You are more than capable of supplying yourself with more if you want to, so there’s no use…”

Wilson looked down he looked disappointed. House stared at his friend before Wilson spoke again.

“You’re an adult House, and no matter what I or anyone else does, you’re going to end up square one, because that’s where you want to be…”

House shivered uncomfortably, “You think?” He asked, his eyes twinkling with despair.

“Unfortunately, I know…”

Wilson got up.

“Where you going?” House asked.

“Home…” Wilson said.

House looked at him with big blue eyes, his nose twitched, “Akkkchnnn” He looked up back at Wilson.

Wilson rolled his eyes, “Come on, you got a cold, you’re fine, besides, five minutes ago you we’re practically throwing me out!”

“I’m on Vicodin!” House replied in a stuffy voice.

“What can I do to change that?!” Wilson screamed angrily.

“Nothing!”

House coughed, there was silence. A smile twitched on his lips, he took two shallow breathes and looked at Wilson again, “I don’t know what the hell happened” He said quietly, a tone so desperate it was delicate as a string of cotton, his eyes filled with fear, almost panic.

“Atchh-kkkshHHHHshhh-ERRchhhhh!” He sneezed again, letting his body slip slightly to the left as he slumped uncomfortably on the couch and coughed, two small coughs, two desperate sounding miserable coughs.

Wilson sighed, “Don’t think about this right now, go to sleep…” He told his friend as he sat back down on the armchair.

House sniffed and nodded, he closed his eyes and turned the volume up on the TV so he will have a soundtrack to listen to and distract him from his thoughts.

Wilson looked at his friend, eyes closed, puffy and dark, nose red, cheeks pink… bottle orange…

“Just sleep this one off and then maybe you can deal with this tomorrow…” Wilson said, he then leaned back on a chair and watched TV in silence.

and I will let the TV writers take it from here, in case someone wants to see the promo for next week:

And the scene where this fic picks up from:

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I'd say "Poor old House" but he definitely doesn't deserve it. I'll keep my sympathy for Wilson!

Message board won't let me edit my posts yet but i kind of felt the need to close my one-shot better, so it's a two-shot now:

I have edited the title for you. You might want to have a look at this link. I think it would apply to you!

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I'd say "Poor old House" but he definitely doesn't deserve it. I'll keep my sympathy for Wilson!

:D I love House, sure he has no personal skills but he tried so hard this season... He deserves some sympathy for that...poor guy ...

I have edited the title for you. You might want to have a look at this link. I think it would apply to you!

Yup, for sure this applies to me! thanks! I always start fics as "one-shots" , they usually end up longer then that, it's not intentional or something i can predict so this thread is a great idea for posters like me. thanks again! >:D

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oooh i loved this!! thank you thank you thank youuuu! <3

cant wait for that eppy tonight! :)

LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING! ONE OF THE BEST EPISODES EVER!

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i liked it alot too!!! but it made me mad in the end that the bullrider didnt take masters invitation for a date >.<

he was cute. . . wouldnt mind to see him sneeze! or amber tamblyn for that matter!

:D

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i liked it alot too!!! but it made me mad in the end that the bullrider didnt take masters invitation for a date >.<

he was cute. . . wouldnt mind to see him sneeze! or amber tamblyn for that matter!

:laugh:

This is House, nobody gets a happy ending ever, including Masters :D It was sweet that she tried though, perhaps she learned a lesson for life and it will make her stronger.

I loved the ending, it was one of the best of the series and i like where the show is headed, lots of angst and humor! (weird combination) but I got the feeling this is going to lead to plenty of Sneezefic metrical by he end of the season, or at least some regular fanfics!

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AFTER "OUT OF THE CHUTE" EPISODE 7X16, IMMEDIATELY WHERE THE EPISODE ENDS, THIS BEGINS...

I always waited for a chance for Wilson to get back at House for all the money "borrowing" House has done over the years, and thought the last episode of House with the hotel was a good place he could have mooched off House, also considering every episode of House lately gives good sneezy opportunities, I just wrote this, could be taken as a sequel to the first two shorts written in this post or as a story on it's own...

“What do you do when you win?!”

“PARTY!”

“What do you do when you lose?!”

“PARTY HARDER!”

Wilson watched in disbelief as his best friend led the army of college kids into pool party drunken madness, they we’re all splashing around cheering, one of the young college boys handed House a bottle of beer, which he took happily and drank ‘till the last drop.

Wilson sighed; he shook his head and began to walk away, once he reached the hotel lobby, he heard the squishing sound of wet shoes follow him, he did not turn around, too angry to deal with the owner of the squishy shoes.

“Squeesh Squash… Squeesh Squash….”

The sound kept following him. And it didn’t subside even as he reached his car at the far end of the hotel parking lot. He pressed the button to his car alarm, “beep beep”. The Volvo’s lights flashed twice indicating the car was ready to be used.

Wilson just stood there, listening to water drip behind him. He did not move.

“Well?” The familiar voice behind him finally spoke after stalking him for the past five minutes, “Aren’t you going to leave?”

Wilson turned around, “Aren’t you going to finish the party that you started?” He asked angrily, a deep tone of frustration coating his voice.

House was dripping wet from head to toe, he was panting, probably due to following Wilson all the way to the parking lot with no cane and heavy dripping wet clothes that were bound to be heavy on the body.

“Party’s boring…” House replied, he rubbed his bad leg, still panting.

Wilson rolled his eyes, “So pretending to murder a hooker is boring, saving your patient is boring and now jumping off a hotel balcony into a college pool party is boring, I’m scared to know what’s interesting House!”

To Wilson’s surprise, House didn’t reply right away, his nose twitched as cold pool water dripped down his nose, he shook forward, “Atttkkchhhh-arrrttkchhh!” He straightened his frame with some difficulty and sniffed, “Following you around to figure out why you’re so angry is kind of interesting…” he shrugged, and rubbed his nose with his wet shirt.

Wilson’s mothering instincts made him ignore House’s reply, focusing on the sneeze instead, “Bless you, You still have that cold?” He asked his friend with a less annoyed tone, which made him annoyed at himself since he really wanted to stay mad at House.

House sniffed and his face twitched once more, “Akkttch! arrchhhKKK! ApphhTtchhh!” He sneezed, “D’no…” he replied and rubbed his face, “Just got’d some pool water up’t my d’nose…AphhhTtttchhh!”

“Right…” Wilson raised an eyebrow, sure, pool water was aggravating the situation, but he knew it wasn’t the cause, House has been fighting a cold since Cuddy broke up with him, and sure, 4 star hotel dining and hookers and a good amount of Vicodin and Alcohol were doing a great job of hiding it, but Wilson knew the truth and couldn’t help but to worry, he sure wished he didn’t worry though.

“AkkkTTtttchhhhshhSHHHH!” House let another huge sneeze slip, he was starting to regret he ever followed Wilson, he thought it would be fun, to taunt him, to dismiss his anger over his ‘crazy antics’, he thought it would be fun, or interesting, or something remotely close to not being mind numbing meaningless, as everything seemed pretty meaningless at the moment, come to think of it, even the pool jump that momentarily made him forget his troubles seemed now- meaningless.

House shook from his thoughts and saw Wilson staring at him, “Why are you staring?” He asked, he rubbed his nose with his shirt again.

“Just how drunk are you?” Wilson asked.

“Pretty drunk…” House replied, “I’m high too…” he smiled stupidly, this was it, this is what’s going to make Wilson angry, and that will be interesting for at least two seconds.

But Wilson wasn’t angry, “House…” He said and came closer to his friend, a worried expression painted on his face, “You’re shaking…”

“Apkkkttcshh!” House sneezed, he chuckled, looking at his hands, they were indeed shaking, “It’s cold…” He excused, “I took a night dive into a pool you moron!”

“Pool’s heated…” Wilson pointed out, he grabbed his swaying best friend’s shirt and then placed a hand on his forehead, “You’re burning up…”

House looked at Wilson, he smiled with frustration, “Don’t…Don’t gimme that look Wilson! Be angry! Why the hell are you not angry!?”

“House… relax…” Wilson warned, noticing his friend’s complection getting paler by the second.

“Don’t give me that look, like you feel sorry for me, dammit, be angry Wils….” But before House could finish the sentence he fell to the ground.

“Crap!” Wilson said, kneeling to the ground, he checked House’s pulse, it was fine, if not a bit slow perhaps due to Alcohol, but still fine. He looked through his unconscious friend’s pockets, happy to find his hotel key did not fall from his pocket during his pool dive. He took out his cell phone and dialed the number for the hotels front desk, “Yes hello?” He said into the phone, “My friend is a guest at the hotel, can you tell Carnell to come to the parking lot? Yes..yes… Requested by Greg House… Thanks bye…”

He looked down at House, who mumbled something incoherently with his eyes still closed and coughed.

“No way in hell I am carrying you all by myself…” Wilson stated to his unconscious drunk friend.

[H][H][H][H][H]

“Is he OK?” Carnell the bellboy asked as he and Wilson placed House on the Hotel bed in the suite.

“He’s fine…” Wilson said, he searched his pockets for a tip for Carnell but couldn’t find any cash, “Just tip yourself on his tab will you?” He gestured towards House.

Carnell shrugged, “Can’t argue with that, call if he needs anything…”

Wilson nodded.

[H][H][H][H][H]

Wilson was sitting in the hotel room for around an hour, watching pay-per-view movies on House’s tab and waiting for his friend to wake up, it was around that time when he heard a familiar sound.

“Atkkkchhh-AmmpHHHKKSHHCHHHHhchh!” and a weak sigh.

He turned his head towards the bed, “You Ok back there?” he asked, purposely loud and happy as he knew it would annoy House.

“Akkkttchh! No…. I’m not okay… Atkkchhrrr!” House replied, in a rather pathetic yet annoyed tone.

“Well…” Wilson said, still not getting up from the sofa and rather loud, “Maybe you should have thought of that before you jumped from the ninth floor into a swimming pool and got blindly drunk!”

“Meh…” House sighed, “I’m cold!” He said loudly, hoping that would guilt Wilson into getting up and getting him something warm to drink or something.

But Wilson just smiled, “What’s that? Cold? Well, I’m not surprised, considering you’re sick, have a fever and oh! Did I mention you jumped off the ninth floor into a swimming pool, scaring the crap out of me, and then followed me dripping wet and drunk all the way to the parking lot just to annoy me?” Wilson blinked, almost impressed with himself, “Wow!” he continued, “You know House, that sounds like a lot for a 51 year old guy, I bet you’re in a butt load of pain!” He kept a cynical tone through out his whole speech. Waiting for House to reply, he was smiling.

“I hate you Wilson…AkkTtchh…” House finally replied, he coughed, sounding incredibly miserable.

Wilson laughed, rolling his eyes, “Back at ya buddy!” he screamed back, he picked up the orange pill bottle from the coffee table and threw it back to the bed, “Here’s your Vicodin, now shut up and go to sleep so I can keep running movies on your hotel tab… I also ordered myself a steak from room service and got you some soup, I’ll wake you up when it gets here…”

Surprisingly, Wilson didn’t hear House protest, or argue; he just heard the bottle pop and the pills rattling. Somehow Wilson took this as a sigh of approval from House.

House just thought, a vindictive Wilson- is NOT boring.

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