doggo Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Spoider, this is for you. Keep up the awesome. (Edit: and thanks for Nova for correcting me )--Of course he should have been thrilled about getting the role. How often can one get a chance to play a post-apocalyptic era cowboy, riding through the vast tundra, hunting down vampire guerillas who are planning to use necromancy to bring back Rasputin? Damn, that movie was going to become a classic.But Ian's first experience of location in Northwest Siberia didn't exactly have the makings of a classic. Even if it was supposed to be spring, the temperatures stayed well below the freezing point; there was continuous technical problems, even problems with electricity in their lodgings. And no matter what he was told beforehand, riding in those tights in that weather was nothing short of torture."Hesssngggkth!" Ian groaned and fumbled for a tissue. "He... Hessngkth!" He could already feel how something warm and sticky was about to escape his right nostril... how embarrassing. The gentleman on his left didn't look that happy either, or anyone else who had passed him on the plane; the way he looked and sounded must have screamed CONTAGIOUS. Because when it comes to classics, this cold he had caught had quickly gained epic dimensions. Finding the ragged tissue (the last one!), Ian wiped his nose. He really wanted to blow... he eyed the man on his left. The man was clean-shaven, handsome, but a crease signalling foul temper and susceptibility to headaches trailing up from between his dark eyebrows. Quality suit. He sat leaned back in his seat, looking straight ahead, stiff.And somehow Ian wasn't surprised how this stiff gentleman practically jumped on his seat upon hearing the first disgustingly loud, gurgly sounds of Ian cleaning his nose. Well, it was too late now to go back, so better to finish the tissue at hand."Sorry about that, mate," Ian said, voice so thick with congestion that he wondered if anyone could really understand what he was saying."It's..." the man answered with a slightly frail voice. He sounded exactly as sophisticated as he looked. "I just wonder how is it possible for you to fly in that condition." "Yeah, thought I was going to burst an eardrum at the take-off...." He sniffled and rubbed his nose with his wrist. It left a wet mark. Sheesh! "Still can't hear much with my right ear.""Oh, miss, miss!" The gentleman was fervently trying to get the attention of a flight attendant passing by."Yes. Could you please find me something to wipe my hands with. Something sanitizing.""Sure...""They didn't let me to bring my hand sanitizer, I am most displeased. Will you please tell them. I am not happy."The flight attendant forced a smile. "Yes, I have promised to deliver your message, and I still recommend you to see the instructions on things that are forbidden on planes , would you choose to use our services another time."He took one of the wipes the attendant had gave him, and proceeded to clean his hands. "Most displeased..." he mumbled to himself, frowning.Great, Ian thought. Not only was he stuck on a 6 hour flight with a messy, sneezy, god-awful snotmonster of a cold. He was also seated next to a germophobe. What could still go better? This man was undoubtedly going to love it when he, in a few days, would wake up with a sore throat and stuffy nose. He tried to sniff – completely blocked again, only a slurpy sound of thick phlegm moving in his swollen nasal passages. He felt increasingly shivery and achy too, which was a bit alarming, as he didn't usually get fever. But usually he didn't get this sick either, if ever, really. And the man sitting next to him looked positively anguished, sitting all stiff like that, squeezing his knees hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. Ian could swear that the crease on his forehead had grown deeper and longer too. Poor bastard.Just when he had started to feel rather sorry for the man next to him, Ian felt his nose itching. Well technically it was itching most of the time, especially near the tip of it, but this itch demanded a sneeze. He tried pressing his nose with the back of his hand, rubbing hard, but it didn't bring him much relief. His breath was hitching for a moment, but calmed down with the help of some fervent rubbing. Damn his nose was so full, if this sneeze ever got out it was going to make a mess. And the tissues... goddamn, the tissues!"Excuse be..." Ian slurred, trying to get the attention of the attendant, but she had turned around to talk with another passenger. "Exh...heh..." Too late. The resonance of his own voice was the last straw. Ian leaned forward, cupping his nose and mouth with his hand, and sneezed. "HERRRRESSSCH-iiigh!" The ripping sensation in his ears and nasal passages made him whimper. "Excuse me, miss!" The stiff gentleman, cramped in the farthest corner of his seat, was gesturing to Ian's direction. "Could you give him a napkin? Please?" "Oh... of course. Here you go. Need anything else?"He passed the stack of napkins on Ian's lap, drawing his hand quickly off. But as sickened as he looked, he still kept gazing at Ian, frowning. "Do you need anything?"Ian gave his nose a long, rattling blow. "Doh, dis is good." "Tea? Aspirin? You might have a fever.""Well... if aspirin..." Ian was still wiping his nose into a bundle of napkins. He was quite surprised."If you please bring him a cup of tea." The gentleman stood up and opened the overhead locker. He was really quite tall, and well-fitted suit did a great job complimenting his slim figure. "Here you go!" He popped out a pill and dropped it on the palm of Ian's free hand.."Thagks. But I thig I deed to wash...""Ah, please."After washing the mess off his hands, Ian filled his pockets with paper towels. The face looking back at him was plain miserable, with the pale cheeks, puffy, shiny eyes and red, drippy nose. Actually the skin around his nostrils was so irritated of all the blowing that it hurt just to touch it with paper. He sniffed congestedly. Just how much of this stuff could one medium sized nose produce? If interdimensional wormholes really existed, he might just have found one.Back on his seat, and with a steaming cup of tea before him, Ian felt a sudden surge of gratitude. "Thank you. I mean, for the pill.""It's ok." The gentleman pointed at his forehead. "Headaches. So I'm prepared." Ian nodded and sank deep into his seat. Suddenly he felt very, very tired. Perhaps he could sleep a little. Just a little. Anyway, it was great to get home. Link to comment
VoOs Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 How often can one get a chance to play a post-apocalyptic era cowboy, riding through the vast tundra, hunting down vampire guerillas who are planning to use necromancy to bring back Rasputin? Damn, that movie was going to become a classic.Just how much of this stuff could one medium sized nose produce? If interdimensional wormholes really existed, he might just have found one.^WIN. Well, all of it does. Let the battle begin? Link to comment
Nova Posted March 16, 2011 Share Posted March 16, 2011 Well, all of it does. Let the battle begin?Let it.Oh, pig. You nasty, contagion spreading woman. <3 There's something special about colds on a plane. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, the same air... circulating.Yes? Yes. *hump* Susceptibility... Mmm... Link to comment
Zane Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 This is really good thanks so much for writing it! Link to comment
ichixshiro14 Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Mmmmmmmm, so scrumdiddlyumptious, you've simply outdone yourself dear Thanks so much for sharing this gem Link to comment
Vetinari Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 This is just brilliant from the first line, right to the end. I'm also rather intrigued by the reaction of the fellow passenger. Might there be more of this deliciousness? Link to comment
SuzyLee Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 Beautifully written and thanks for sharing Link to comment
Butch Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 pig - AHHHH! Please write more! This is fantastic!Love the wormhole comment. That made me laugh. Link to comment
tma Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 LOVE it!! And the first paragraph- had me grinning!! Cannot wait to see more! Link to comment
sneezytwilight Posted March 17, 2011 Share Posted March 17, 2011 OMG Love this story!! Great job!! Awesome setup! Link to comment
ichixshiro14 Posted March 18, 2011 Share Posted March 18, 2011 This is just brilliant from the first line, right to the end. I'm also rather intrigued by the reaction of the fellow passenger. Might there be more of this deliciousness?I'm with you dear I hope so! Link to comment
telltale Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 This was already the best scenario EVER. Then you added great writing on top of that, and I'm a happy girl. Thanks for this. Link to comment
doggo Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 OoooOOOooOOOoo!!!! Thank you for all the sweet comments. I am so happy this fic was enjoyed by readers. Your comments are very encouraging. OH-HO-HO-HO-HO! YES. What a positively SEXY cold. So much misery and embarrassment and desperation and congestion ! You write congestion and messiness PEERRRRFECTLYY. Thank you for writing this! I'd like to think that Ian's cold was passed on to his germaphobic seating buddy. Contagiousnessssssss . Hahaa, as the messy stuffy part is my absolute favourite of the fetish, I'm really glad you enjoyed, and yes, it was my plasure. Link to comment
sillystarsmoons Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 This was a great story. From start to finish. Thanks for sharing. Link to comment
Sneezyhugsandkisses Posted April 8, 2011 Share Posted April 8, 2011 sooo funny! And hottt lots of sneezing...wanna continue? Link to comment
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