"In the Moment" Original (not spec. gender)

[tma]

Author's Notes- this type of writing is not something that I do often at All. There really isn't a lot of Fully spelt out sneezes (maybe 2)- the idea is the sensations. It is also short- going for sort of "impressionistic". I'm not sure whether or not it manages to work- but... here goes.

"In the Moment"

I catch sight of you in the library, out of the corner of my eye. Your head bobbing downward, caught in the grip of a sneezing fit. You are trying desperately to stifle them into the folds of your white linen handkerchief- pinching off the sound between your index fingers. You start out successfully enough, “heh... tsh uh” only the slightest bit of sound escaping in between a trembly inhale and a half breathed “chuh” that is almost a sigh at the end of each.

Soon you begin to lose the battle, however. A wet “EiiiShuh” manages to escape before you have fully raised your handkerchief, and I watch as colour starts to suffuse your cheeks. You start to take in harsher, more ragged breaths, and I watch the look that passes over your face. The glistening wideness of your eyes, the slackness of your jaw, the tiny tremors of your upper lip, and the fluttery flares of your nostrils- all combining to paint a portrait of exquisite anguish combined with an adorable self-conscious embarrassment.

As much as I'd love to just gaze full on and drink in all the intoxicating nuances that are at work in your features throughout the process, I know that it is like dealing with a delicate animal like a butterfly. Too bold, too direct, too much breathing or acknowledging and it flits away. I have no wish to do that.

So I take let the sounds wash over me and take what sights I may from furtive glances. The ragged breathing that builds and then stops for a split second or two as you try to control the uncontrollable. The harsh middle consonants that seem to divide the sneezes in half: The R or T sounds that seem to "vocalize" the sound of those that have completely escaped, and send shivers up and down my spine. The slight sigh of resignation in between with a thick liquid sniff that then seems to melt into another build up of breath, and manages to capture mine in the process. And then the low, half-sighed “"oh god"” that escapes your lips at the end, reminding me of other times when your lips would form those words and would tremble. I breathe out "Bless" far too low for earshot.

As you sort yourself back into the usually composed semblance of yourself; cheeks and nose bright with colour, I notice the occasional sniffs and there is a veil of concern that falls over my thoughts- an instinct to tend that lay hidden under the layers of more firey emotions, which starts to rise to the surface.

I slip away, without you knowing that I was there, intent on showing you care- subtle but persistent, knowing that you probably have not even acknowledged your need even to yourself.

~FIN

[Anonymouse]

The first few sentences already had me in a puddle. I love pinched off sneezes, and that butterfly analogy described that moment perfectly, when you look at someone who's about to sneeze and your attention makes it "flit away." Happens with my boyfriend sometimes.

Third to last paragraph is my favorite. Describes everything I love about sneezes so beautifully.

[Sneesee]

Beautifully written, love! I could read this over, and over, and over again! Thank you for sharing this, it's wonderful!

[obsessed]

tma your writing is lovely! I think you definitely succeeded with your impressionistic experiment.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

It *definitely* works. *goes back to re-read* Love the way you write. Thank you lots for sharing with us.

The glistening wideness of your eyes, the slackness of your jaw, the tiny tremors of your upper lip, and the fluttery flares of your nostrils- all combining to paint a portrait of exquisite anguish combined with an adorable self-conscious embarrassment.

Love this line.

Oh, and library sneezes... .. library fit that person desperately tries to stifle?

[Chanel_no5]

Mmm, that was beautiful... and hot.