Michigan Winters (m, original, 1/3?)

[magmildar]

First original fic posted anywhere and I'm terrified! It starts slow but hopefully the end will satisfy.

Disclaimer: I don't think this is 18+ but there is swearing and mention of drug use.

A/N: I'm miserable at coming up with the phonetic sneeze words. If you read the first part and have a recommendation, I'd love to hear it.

Part I

With only twenty minutes before my shift, I raced out into the freezing night in a panic. Ten feet from my car, aka the Crapmobile, I turned back and ran towards the house where I began a desperate search for my keys. Finding them on the coffee table surrounded by my stoner roommates should have aroused my suspicion but, like I said, I was in a hurry. It wasn’t until I got back to the Crapmobile, threw my bags into the backseat, and had already grinded it into gear that the smell hit me full force.

With a growl, I used my left hand to roll down my window while my right groped for my cell. Steering the car, at that point, was a job best left to the knees. Clicking my teeth in frustration, I waited for the plodding answering machine to beep. The frosty air hit me and I began to shiver, struggling to keep the anger in my voice as I left the message.

“I know you’re there. I saw you all not thirty seconds ago, all well arm’s reach of the phone. Pick up.”

Nothing. I sighed.

“Fine, whatever. Look, I know it’s too cold to stand outside for long, I know that none of you guys has a car, but if I ever catch you hot-boxing in the Crapmobile again, I’m going to flush your entire stash. I’m serious. Now, I’m not getting off until two but when I get home, we’re going to have a talk. This means you Nikki.”

I could picture her and the guys laughing as I turned off the phone and tossed it onto the passenger’s seat beside me.

“Why don’t you take the second bedroom? It’ll be great living together.” I could hear Nikki’s voice as clearly as if it had been yesterday.

My wet hair was starting to freeze. I debated closing the window and leaving the airing out of my car as an issue for “future me” to deal with. But the smell was so strong. In an instant of paranoia I reached across the front seat and began to roll down the passenger side window. I could barely reach the distance and felt the car swerve gently as I stretched. Dangerous, sure, but who would I run into on an empty country road on a cold Michigan night?

I swore I could hear audience laughter as my mirror began to light up with blinking red and blue lights.

“Shit, shit, shit,” I said to myself as I pulled the car over. Late for work, moving violation, all on top of a car ripe with the scent of weed.

“Shit,” I muttered the refrain. I glanced in the rear-view mirror and, when I saw that the cop was a male, I twisted the mirror to shoot myself the same glance. No makeup, wet hair, and I was still wearing my hoodie. Why, oh why hadn’t I changed into the slutty waitress uniform Ed insisted we wear at the diner? What chance did I have to flirt my way out of trouble wearing a faded uni sweatshirt? Maybe I should cry.

Before I was able to work up any tears, though, the cop was standing beside me.

“License and registration,” he intoned with a deep, rolling voice.

I fumbled through my purse and then my glove compartment, relieved to see that Nikki hadn’t decided to store her bowl in there again. No need to stoke the flame.

When I handed these back, I took a moment to glance at the officer browsing my ID. His uniform jacket was buttoned to the neck and a cap was pulled tightly over his ears. Although his face was a translucent, winter pale, it was obviously well formed and I found myself admiring the dimple in his chin. His eyes, when he raised them to confirm my identity, were a striking blue and the contrast they made with his jet black curls made me weak. Again I cursed my dowdy wardrobe selection.

Wait, what was I doing? As if I had a chance with a cop who was clearly about to handcuff me while he searched my car for drugs. Any minute now, the scent would hit him and he-

“Miss Crumby?”

I raised my head to see him handing my license back to me.

“I think I can let you off with a warning.”

“What? Really?” I asked without thinking.

His brow raised, breaking the stern façade with a puzzled expression.

“I mean, thank you officer,” I jumped in to correct myself. Best to get out of here before he realized I was a prime candidate for backward alphabet recitation.

“Drive safe,” he warned with a sniff.

I watched his retreat in my mirror, taking a moment to admire the tight ass wrapped snugly in his uniform pants. My cell phone ringing jerked me out of my daydream and I groped wildly for it.

The screen read, “Sara” and I swore again to myself. It was only five past the hour but surely she was calling to ask why I wasn’t there to relieve her. Great time-keeper that one. I hit “ignore” and pulled back onto the road nearly sideswiping Officer Feelgood on the way. I grimaced and mouthed an embarrassed apology in response to his accusing glare. He drove off and I pressed an icy hand to my burning cheek.

“Cool it, Em,” I told myself. “And then maybe think about cutting back on the caffeine.”

******

An hour later I was scrubbing coffee stains from the bridge of my nose. It turns out; stretching your tongue all the way to the bottom of the mug has consequences. ‘Stupid Ed and his stingy laws about taking coffee,’ I thought as I reached a finger to swipe the speckle of grounds from the edge of the cup. As I lifted my finger to my mouth I imagined the reaction of the customers to my rubbing coffee grounds along my gums. This sobered me and I stopped. Not as though there were any customers here. Or Ed for that matter. Fuck him, I thought, refilling my cup with the steamy goodness.

I nearly choked when the kitchen door opened. Fortunately it was only Jerry, the cook, returning from break.

“You supposed to be doin’ that?” he asked with a snort.

“Seriously how can anyone be expected to work third shift without coffee?” I replied with a cough, trying to clear the brew from my lungs.

“First, it’s not even ten o’clock, and second you’ve only been here an hour.”

“Leave me alone,” I grumbled.

“I’m just saying, you have a problem.” He smiled and pulled his baseball cap back over his greasy hair. “Also a customer.”

“Oh by all means, don’t lead with that,” I hissed, scurrying out to the front of the store.

Once I was through the swinging kitchen doors I almost choked again at the sight of Officer Feelgood in the corner booth.

I watched as he held a menu with one hand and rubbed his eyes with the other. His fingers traced the space between his eyes and he bridged his forehead with his hand rubbing harshly at each temple. I couldn’t help but think of how tired he looked and the thought brought a wave of pity to me.

But then anxiety resurfaced and I wondered if he had followed me here. Maybe, after having the chance to reflect on my suspicious behavior, he decided to try again.

With this consideration in mind, I chose to approach the table before he opened his eyes and saw me first.

“Long night?” I asked, staring down my order pad.

He tightened in surprised and the menu slapped down onto the table. I didn’t react, instead allowing him to discretely collect himself.

“Hi there,” he mumbled clipping the menu back open. “I’m not ready to order yet, but could I get some coffee?”

I stared at him. I couldn’t help it. He had barely glanced my way as he ordered and there was no sign at all that he recognized me.

That was probably a good thing, I briefly considered as I blurted out, “You don’t remember me?”

Now he raised his face towards me and squinted a moment. His brow was furrowed and a deep line ran through the center of his forehead.

“You pulled me over not an hour ago,” I reminded him.

‘Why am I reminding him?’ I wondered. ‘Yeah, great, you pulled me over, it’s almost like we’re friends. Oh and make sure to tip well. I mean, you saw the car I drive.’

I was jerked out of my thoughts when realization dawned on his face.

“Right, of course. Miss Crumby?”

“Emily,” I corrected in a daze. I snapped up. “I mean, my name is Emily and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you?”

“Um, coffee?” he repeated, looking confused. I could practically see him thinking bipolar, maybe a little schitzo.

“Coffee,” I fumbled. “Yes, you said that. Sorry. I’ll be right back with a fresh pot.”

I turned on my heel, willing it to puncture the ground all the way through until I fell deep into the Earth.

It wasn’t until I had nearly crossed the dining room when I heard a noise behind me. It took me only an instant to recognize that Officer Feelgood had sneezed. The sound was strong and loud and made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It took all my energy not to turn and stare.

[Evergreen]

I LOVE THIS! mmm. i love the idea of a hot, sneezy cop. something about a man who is supposed to be so strong not being able to fend off a cold. your writing is really awesome, too!

[Scion]

Ohh, this is very intriguing! I really like the story and the characters are quite cool and believable and I'm excited for more! Awesome job.

[LovelyLinda]

AAAAAHHH!!

I love this soooo much.

Will there be more ?

Pretty please?

[Zane]

This sounds really good so far! thanks for writing it! hope there's more sneezyness in later chapters

[obsessed]

Ohhh this is so interesting! Can't wait to see where it goes.

[em4]

This is such a fun fic! I'm really enjoying it.

In regards to the sneeze spellings I'm not sure your fic necessarily needs them. Especially if you keep describing them like you did in this part. I know I will definitely keep reading this with or without phonetically spelt sneezes.

[ichixshiro14]

Mmmm I like a sneezy boy in uniform