/clever title

[Pilgrim]

“Friends!”

The door to the living room swung open, scattering discarded cans of Mountain Dew. Steven adorned in his usual attire of khaki shorts and a t-shirt, entered with his arms spread wide above his head, as if he came bearing a crucial announcement. The three other college sophomore boys and one girl who sat on the couch in front of a tv that was displaying a (now paused) episode of Psych turned to face him

“What’s up Steven!” Josh inquired, his finger hovering above the button on the Xbox controller that corresponded to Play.

"Some day, in the not-so-distant future, man will have the ability to combine with machine and become a super organism. We will flourish in a brave new world, built by technology indistinguishable from magic. Eventually, we will leave the confines of our home world and travel the stars in great ships, perhaps even reaching the edge of the universe itself. But no matter what we accomplish or what we experience, it will never change the fact that I walked in on my roommate looking at Muppet porn on Tuesday, April twenty-seventh, two-thousand eleven."

Steven slumped down in the livingroom armchair, as his friends on the couch erupted into raucous laughter. He folder his arms across his blue t-shirt and in his usual mock-serious tone shouted at them, "It's not funny guys! This has traumatized me for life. I'll never be a well-adjusted teenager now!"

Reiko rose from her seat behind Samuel, whose long blond hair she had been braiding. "Aww, I'm so sorry about that!" she giggled. "Here, do you want a head massage to make it all better?"

"Welllll..." Steven scratched his chin, pretending to think it over.

"Hey! I was here first!" Samuel protested. Reiko laughed again as she bounced up over the armrest of the couch, her shoulder-length black hair swishing behind her.

"Don't worry! I'll get back to-Ha! Hah...Hah...Hah..." Reiko's nose, which was a good size larger than the average japanese girl's, twitched suddenly and let out a fast series of five "Hatchuuh!" sneezes spraying into the crook of her arm. When they finished she sniffled and looked up for a moment, waiting for any more, but apparently her nose was done. For now.

"Uhhhh, hey Reiko, you're not gonna give me a shower with that massage, are you?" Steven said, inching backwards in his seat slightly.

Reiko sniffled and rubbed at her nose, blushing slightly. "Nah, it's just allergies. They flare up now and agai-hah-hold on-Hah Hatschuuh Hatschuuh Hah-Atschuuh Atshuuh Ah-Ah-ATSCHUUH!" She sneezed into the crook of her arm again. When she was finished, she looked up and sniffled, her nostrils flared. There was a brief pause, then, "Hahhh...Hah-Hah-Hang-Hahh-Ha-on-Hahhh Hatschuuh Hah-Hatchuuh! Ugh, anyone have any tissues?"

"Yeah, hang on." Josh rose from his seat and dashed into the bathroom, emerging with a kleenex box which he tossed to Reiko. She caught it in one hand, the other busy hiding the sight of her overflowing nose from her friends. After carefully removing a tissue from it while balancing the box in the crook of her arm, she dropped it to the floor and held her tissue with both hands to blow her nose.

“Gah, thanks. My nose has been hating me a lot recently. Stupid allergies.”

“Yeeeaaahh, I think I’m good on that massage for the time being actually, thanks.”

Reiko blushed but cheerily responded “Suit yourself!”

“Hey, that means you can get back to me, right?” Samuel reached out at her, nearly toppling forward.

She giggled, “Alright, one second!” and ran to the bathroom to wash her hands. Meanwhile Raphael, who had still been laughing at Steven’s earlier comments this entire time, leaned over the couch onto his friend’s shoulder.

“So, what are you going to do? Spray Lysol on his entire half of the room?”

A series of seven fast “Hatschuuhs” erupted from the bathroom, and Reiko blew her nose again loudly. Steven shrugged.

“Lysol the entire apartment more like. Nothing he touches is safe. I just saw him, and I feel dirty.”

“Oi! If you Lysol your apartment I won’t be able to visit anymore. That stuff’s almost as bad as poll-eh-eh-Heh Ohh, not again…” Reiko struggled to contain the rising itch in her nose as she stood frozen in the doorway to the bathroom, her nostrils flaring behind the finger she’d placed under them in an effort to halt her sneezes before they happened. “Heh-Heh-Hehhh-Ehehhh…Heh-Eh-Etschuuh Etchuuh Heh-Etshuuh Etschuh Etchuh Ehhh-TCHUUH! Ack, be right back.”

Reiko did an about-face turn into the bathroom and washed her hands a second time. She emerged again shaking water off her hands. “Alright, now…Haaaaaaah-Hahh…Haaaahhh…”

“Wow, seriously?” Raphael started laughing again. “You’re never going to make it out of there!”

“Shut up!” Reiko responded playfully, fiercely rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m-Hahhhh-Not gonna…Hah-Ahah…Hah-Ahhhhh Atschuuh Atschuuh Hah-Atschuuuh!! Ahh-Atschuuuh!” She once again returned to the bathroom to wash the generous amount of spray her hands had received and blow her nose. She emerged for the third time sniffling and groaned in a congested voice, “Alright, can I pleeeease be done sneezing now?”

There was a pause as everyone in the room waited for her nose’s response. After a few seconds has passed without incident, Reiko sighed in relief. “Finally. Still itches like the devil, though.” She continued rubbing her nose as she returned to her spot on the couch.

“Alright, I’m gonna unpause this now.” Josh announced, picking the controller back up off the floor.

“Here Reiko, you’ll probably need this.” Samuel handed the tissue box backwards over his head to the sniffly Japanese girl, who cradled it to her chest like a teddy bear.

“Thanks. You’re probably right. Heh…Heh-EH-TSCHUUUH! Ugh.”

[Blah!?]

Aww, that was a really cute story. After you said you were cancelling the video game crossover series, I was beginning to wonder what your next work of fiction might be. This is definitely a worthy successor. Above all, I hope to see more from you in the future!

[obsessed]

You have some seriously funny lines.

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Reiko did an about-face turn into the bathroom and washed her hands a second time. She emerged again shaking water off her hands. “Alright, now…Haaaaaaah-Hahh…Haaaahhh…”

“Wow, seriously?” Raphael started laughing again. “You’re never going to make it out of there!”

“Shut up!” Reiko responded playfully, fiercely rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m-Hahhhh-Not gonna…Hah-Ahah…Hah-Ahhhhh Atschuuh Atschuuh Hah-Atschuuuh!! Ahh-Atschuuuh!”

Love this bit. Awesome story.

[NoV]

Nice story! Love it when characters are embarrassed about their allergies

[Stimuli]

Haha cute and awesome melikeit

[Chanel_no5]

Nice story! Love it when characters are embarrassed about their allergies

Very much agreed.