Vampires Can't Catch Colds

[SneezeyLove]

Hey guys! This is a short drabble-type-thing about one of my many OCs, Jay. Who also happens to be a vampire, but I swear HE DOESN'T SPARKLE! It also involves my friend's OC, Ryo, who is also a vampire. Let me give you a little background... (I'll keep it short, I promise.)

Jayden Dayhunter aka Jay - He is 18 years old, and tall with shaggy blond hair and dark brown eyes. He makes a living by killing vampire slayers. His parents and older brother were killed by a slayer when he was twelve. They originally lived in New York City, but Jay chased the vampire slayer all the way to Chicago. After killing the vampire slayer, Jay decided to stay in Chicago. Shortly after arriving in Chicago, his life was saved by a vampire named Ryo, who subsequently became his best - and only - friend.

Ryo Kobayashi - He is a Japanese vampire who moved to America after meeting his boyfriend, Hatsu. Ryo is extremely tall and has long black hair and dark eyes. He is a very old, very powerful vampire, though he doesn't act like it. He is rather flamboyant and openly gay, and he regularly hits on Jay (who is straight). After Jay and Ryo became friends, Jay got into the habit of calling Ryo whenever he needed help (which was often) and Ryo got into the habit of saving his life, or at least patching him up after a fight.

And that's all you need to know, really. So, uh, without further ado....

Vampires Can't Catch Colds

“Tell me again how he found you?” Ryo said with a grin.

Jay scowled, wincing as Ryo pulled the bandage tighter. “I already told you.”

“I know, and it was funny. Tell me again.”

Jay’s scowl deepened. “You’re an ass, you know that?”

“Aw, come on. If I was an ass, would I be helping you with this?”

Jay was about to retort when his nose began to itch. He quickly pulled away from Ryo as his face scrunched up, and he raised his hand to catch a very wet sneeze into the back of his wrist. “Ehh’TSCHH! …Ow,” he muttered, wincing as the sudden sneeze jarred his injured shoulder. He sniffled and ran his hand under his nose, looking positively miserable.

Ryo gave him a skeptical look. “Do you have any tissues?”

Jay sniffed again. “Doe.”

Ryo sighed. “Great.”

“Shud up.”

“Hold still,” Ryo warned.

Jay set his teeth as his friend pulled at the bandage again. “The hunter caught me off guard, okay?” he said finally. “I tried to run away, but I turned down a dead end. So I hid.”

“And?” Ryo prompted as he finished treating Jay’s shoulder and moved on to his swollen ankle.

“And he came looking for me. I would’ve been fine, but…”

“But?”

“But I sneezed, okay? I fucking sneezed and he found me and I’m lucky his damn silver bullet just grazed my shoulder. We fought and I sprained my ankle. And I still managed to jump up and run fast enough to get around behind him and snap his worthless neck. So there.”

“And the moral of this story is…?”

Jay shrugged, looking blank.

“Take better care of yourself so you don’t get sick.”

“I’m not sick.”

Ryo simply looked at him.

“What?”

The dark haired vampire glanced at his watch, then back at Jay, clearly waiting for something.

“What? What are you… Ehh… Heh…” He trailed off, nose scrunching and eyes fluttering. “Oh y-you… Heh… you’re a fucking – J’TESCHOOO! – jerk.” His body bent forward with the force of the sneeze, once again wrenching his shoulder.

“I know. And you have a cold.” Ryo glared at Jay, daring him to deny it.

"Vampires can't catch colds," Jay muttered. He sniffled and rubbed his nose, looking pitiful and refusing to meet Ryo’s eyes.

“You know what this means?”

The blond youth glanced questioningly at Ryo, who grinned. “I get to take care of you.”

“Aw, dabbit. I was afraid you were goig to say thad.”

Ryo finished wrapping Jay’s ankle and produced a packet of tissues from his pocket, seemingly by magic. “Blow your nose, hun.”

“Bite be,” Jay muttered, stifling a cough. But he grabbed the tissues and blew his nose thickly.

“Don’t tempt me,” Ryo replied, a dangerous glint in his eyes. Jay was too busy blowing his nose to notice or care. “Now, you’re going to sit right there without moving while I go to the store to get some things. And you better be in the same exact place when I get back, or so help me, I’ll shoot you myself.”

“Whad kide of thigs do you have to ged?”

“Well, tissues for starters, seeing as how you just went through four of them without any affect whatsoever.”

“Uhg-TSCHHH! Ekk-TSCHUH! Huh-KSHHUH!” Jay sneezed wetly into the wad of tissues in his hand, sniffling thickly and groaning as mucus dripped down his wrist and upper lip.

“Gesundheit,” Ryo muttered with a grimace, handing Jay more tissues. He began to list items, counting them off on his fingers. “Lots of tissues, cough syrup, aspirin, tea, and a movie for you to watch while you’re stuck on the couch.”

“I hade tea,” Jay complained.

“Well, it’s good for you, so you’re gonna suck it up and drink it.”

“It bedder be extra streggth aspirid. Add you bedder nod coblaid whed I take three of theb.”

Ryo shook his head and reached behind his friend to fix the pillows so he could rest comfortably on his ratty couch. “Don’t move. I’ll be back before you can say ‘sparkly vampire’.”

Jay scowled, but anything he might have said was lost as Ryo jumped up from the couch and strode out the door in one fluid movement. Jay sniffed helplessly. There was nothing he could do but sit and wait…

“Ehh… hi’TCHESCHH!”

And hope Ryo got back before he used up the rest of the tissues. Which seemed unlikely.

“Eh-TCHESHOO!”

End.

I originally wrote this as a complete drabble in and of itself, but now I'm thinking I might continue it a little... thoughts?

[SweaterWeather]

Aw so adorable! Poor guy, sneezing and getting caught! I love the relationship between these two, I really hope to see something with them again! Meanwhile, I shall re-read again. And again. And again...

[Lexi]

I love it, continue please. I've got a thing for non-sparkly vamps

[Scion]

I really enjoyed this! Cool characters, brilliant writing, and yummy sneezes! Nothing not to love. More would be awesome, awesome, awesome!

[SneezeyLove]

Thanks guys! I'm glad you like it! I am working on part 2 and I can probably have it up later tonight. Unfortunately, things like laundry and going to work have to come first. But never fear! Part 2 is coming!

[SneezeyLove]

I'm back, finally! Sorry it took me forever and a half, but college is starting so it's a busy time. Anyway, here is part 2, of what looks like is going to be a 3-4 part story.

A little more background that you might need to know here: For various complicated legal reasons, Jay is not recognized by the vampire Council of elders as a member, so they are technically not allowed to pay him for what would normally be considered services to his fellow vampires. Instead, he gets compensation for his father's death, which is barely enough money for him to live on. He is still in high school, and, at Ryo's urging, is trying to graduate. He's having a hard time keeping up with his studies and his "job", and does not have extra time (or energy) to devote to an actual paying job. Why doesn't he just stop hunting and get a real job? Because hunting is his way of keeping his family alive. It's their legacy, and he fully intends to continue it, despite the difficulties that the life of a hunter brings him. So, as a result, he has very little money, and he feels bad whenever Ryo (or anyone else) buys things for him.

Did you really need to know all that? No, probably not. So I'll shut up now.

Part 2

Half an hour later, Ryo was bounding up the stairs to Jay’s apartment, a plastic bag dangling from each hand, wondering vaguely if he’d forgotten to lock the door behind him when he left. In Jay’s neighborhood, that wasn’t a good idea. Then again, Jay slept with a gun. It was part of the job description, Ryo supposed. And if the door wasn’t locked, it would save him the trouble of picking the lock to get in, seeing as Jay had not yet given him a key.

Three stories up, Ryo turned the handle of 308 and found that he had in fact forgotten to lock it.

Oh well.

He walked in, setting the bags on the kitchen counter, moving quietly in case Jay had fallen asleep while he was gone. It wasn’t likely, based on the sound of the congestion in the kid’s chest, but you never know. Ryo poked his head around the corner into the living room and saw – nothing. No Jay.

Where could he have gone? I told him not to move!

“Jay?” he called.

“Hah-ETSCHH!”

Instead of a reply, Ryo heard a sneeze coming from the back of the apartment, in the direction of the bathroom, followed by a sniffle and a muffled groan.

“Jay, is that you?”

“Of course it’s me! Who the hell else would it be?” The voice was irritable and hoarse and definitely Jay’s. Not that Ryo was unable to tell who it was from the sneeze.

Ryo hurried to the bathroom to find Jay sprawled on the floor, all thin gangly limbs, red-faced and clutching a crumpled wad of toilet paper in his hand.

“What the hell? I told you not to move!” Ryo’s anger ebbed as he realized that his friend was, in fact, splayed on the floor of his bathroom, looking miserable and helpless beyond belief. Kneeling beside Jay, he asked softly, “Are you okay? You didn’t get sick, did you?”

Jay sniffed halfheartedly. “Doe.”

“Then what?”

“Rad oud of kleedexes. Wadted to ged sobe bore.”

“So you, what, crawled in here?”

“Doe… I limped. But thed I got dizzy so I sad dowd add… Higg’ESCHH!” Jay’s whole body seemed to convulse inward with the sneeze, and he groaned. He coughed, the harshness of the sneeze having irritated his throat.

Ryo shook his head slowly, looking down at the pitiful mess of a boy in front of him. “Come on, let’s get you back on your couch,” he said, hooking Jay’s good arm around his shoulders and hauling him carefully to his feet.

Jay groaned again, his head swimming after the sudden movement.

“Shh, you’re alright. Just breathe, okay? Deep breaths through your mouth, that’s it. And warn me if you’re gonna lose your lunch.”

Jay made a rasping sound that could conceivably have been a laugh. “Whad ludch?”

“Point taken. Still.”

“Yeah, I got id.”

It was slow going as the two made their way down the hall to the living room, Jay shuffling along with Ryo supporting nearly all of his weight.

“You know, I might as well carry you. It would be faster.”

Jay fixed him with a death glare. “Doe way id hell.”

Ryo shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

They shuffled on, the couch finally coming into sight, when Jay stopped with a shudder.

“What’s wrong? You gonna be sick?” Ryo asked quickly.

“Doe… I’b gonna… s-ss-sdeeze…”

It took Ryo a split second to tighten his grip, bracing Jay so he wouldn’t fall over, before –

“Heh-AATSCHHH!” Unable to cover his mouth, Jay helplessly directed the sneeze at the floor in front of him.

Ryo eyed him carefully, not loosening his grip. “That it? Just the one?” he asked.

Jay sniffed, which did absolutely nothing for him, as congested as he was. “Yeah… yeah, thad’s id.”

“Alright, come on then.”

With a renewed effort, they managed to make it the rest of the way to the couch. Jay let his arm slide from around Ryo’s shoulders and flopped onto the couch, wincing as the motion sent a jolt of pain through his shoulder.

“Careful,” Ryo murmured, adjusting Jay’s legs until he was comfortable.

“You be careful,” Jay retorted, but anything else he might have said was lost as he coughed into his fist.

Ryo ignored him. “Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” He got up and hurried into the kitchen to retrieve the bags.

“Thad’s whad you said last tibe,” Jay muttered.

Ryo returned a moment later carrying two plastic bags in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He set everything down on the floor and began to rifle through the bags. “Here. Blow your nose,” he said, handing Jay a box of tissues.

Jay took it gratefully and did as he was told, producing long, wet gurgles. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Ryo unpacked the bags. Three more boxes of tissues, a bottle of cough syrup, a bag of cough drops, a box of tea, four cans of soup, two bottles of extra strength Tylenol, the entire Back to the Future trilogy on DVD, and finally, a receipt that Ryo quickly stuffed into his pocket. Guilt settled in Jay’s stomach like a rock.

“Ryo…” he said softly.

Ryo was attempting to get the plastic off the various medications he’d unpacked. “What?” he asked distractedly.

“I’ll… I cad pay you back for thad stuff.”

“What?” Ryo asked again, glancing up at Jay. The boy looked away, chewing his lip. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind. Come on.” He lightly tossed the DVD set onto Jay’s lap. “Consider that an early birthday present.” Jay finally turned back and met his eyes, and he smiled. “You know I’ve got your back.”

“I doe.”

“Good. Then let’s get some meds in you so you can get some sleep.”

End

There you go, part 2! Hope you liked it as much as you liked part 1! Part 3 *should* be up soon... I hope.... *hides*

[VividBubbles!]

No, no, no, no! Don't hide! Please don't hide! I need Part 3! And soon! Other wise I'll... oh I don't know... blow up! Great chapter! Update soon!

BYE!

[SneezeyLove]

I'm back! That's a good thing, right? Right? *crickets* Ahem, okay. Anyway, here is part three. No worries, there will be one more part, and it will be up soon. (Tomorrow night? Maybe.) So, yeah. Until then, here's part 3. Oh, and thanks to everybody who has commented and who has discovered or rediscovered this little story; I realize I left it sit for quite a while. I'm done talking for real now. Hope you like part 3!

Part 3

Halfway through Back to the Future Part 2, Jay took a breath, gearing up for what must have been his hundredth sneeze that night.

“Gesundheit,” Ryo said in advance, noticing the look on Jay’s face.

“Ehh… hih-ESCHOO!” Jay sniffed.

Ryo handed him the box of tissues, and he groaned.

“Come on. Blow your nose.”

“Doe,” Jay muttered, not without a bit of whine.

“Why not?”

“I cad’t. I’b too tired.”

Ryo frowned and squeezed Jay’s good shoulder sympathetically. “I know. Try to get some sleep, okay?”

“I’b tryigg! I cad’t sleep if I’b sdeezing every two bidutes.”

“Like now?”

Jay glared at Ryo the best that he could as his eyelids fluttered. He tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle the forceful sneezes that seemed to rip their way out of him. Unfortunately, that only seemed to make the itch in his nose worse, as each sneeze in the small fit became increasingly desperate. “Kxnt! …ihh-KXNT! …Hih-KXNT-shoo! Heh-KISCHOO!”

“You know you shouldn’t do that, hun. It’s bad for you.”

Jay sighed, which brought on another coughing jag. When he was done, he said, “I doe. I’b just so fuckigg sick of sdeezigg.”

“I wish I could help,” Ryo said, and he meant it.

They returned their attention to the movie, until Ryo noticed that Jay was shivering.

“You cold?”

Jay glanced at Ryo out of the corner of his eye and nodded.

“You have a blanket somewhere? On your bed?”

The younger boy bit his lip and looked away.

“You don’t have a blanket?”

“Got stolen at the laundrobat,” Jay mumbled.

The look of sheer helplessness and embarrassment on Jay’s face was almost too much for Ryo. Before Jay could react, Ryo gently picked him up and shifted him far enough over so that both of them could fit on the couch. Ignoring Jay’s confused protests, he put his arm around the young vampire, allowing Jay’s head to rest on his chest.

“Relax, I’m just trying to help you get warm. I could go get you a blanket from my place, but I don’t think I should leave you alone again.”

“Doe, please dod’t,” he whispered.

“I won’t.” Unable to help himself, Ryo kissed the top of Jay’s head.

“Ryo…”

“Sorry,” the vampire murmured.

“Doe, Ryo… I’b godda s…s-ssdee…hee… sdee… higg-ESCHUH!”

Ryo glanced down at his friend. “Again,” he said with a smile.

“Doe… heh… hih-IITSCHOO!”

“And once more.”

“Ihh… Doe…”

“Yup, looks like you’ve got one more in you.”

“I dod’t…ahh… I dod’t wadda... heh… s-ss-sdeeze a-agaid… ehhh… heh!”

Ryo grabbed a tissue and held it up to cover Jay’s mouth and nose. “Once more. Come on, you can do it. Don’t make me coax it out of you.” He felt Jay’s muscles tense as his body convulsed.

“Ehh… Heh… Ihh… Hiihh-ETSCHOO!” Jay sneezed violently. He looked sullen and embarrassed, but he allowed Ryo to wipe his nose for him. He was too exhausted to care much one way or the other.

“You should be okay for a little while now.”

“How could you doe thad?”

“I just know.”

Jay would have glared at Ryo, but he didn’t have the energy. Instead he asked, “Could you rewide id? I couldn’t hear whad they said whed I was sdeezigg.”

Ryo grinned as he picked up the remote.

End

Part 4 coming soon!

[VividBubbles!]

There are no words for this. It would only insult this... this... magnificent, beautiful piece of art. I'm sorry. I have insulted your... treasure. I need better words. I cannot wait for your next update. Literally. I'm vibrating in my seat just thinking about it.

BYE!

P.S. Oh My God! Look what I found! --> Yeah, I know. I'm a dork.

BYE! Again.

[SneezeyLove]

Bubbles! thank you so much! You comment just made my day!

A little word about Ryo and "gesundheit": As Ryo and Jay are vampires, they can't say "God", and saying "bless you" would seem weird, but Ryo still wants to acknowledge that Jay sneezed, so he settles for "gesundheit" (which translates to "health").

Alright, here is part 4, the final part in this little story. Hopefully it lives up to the rest of the story and gives it an okay ending. Will I write more about these two in the future? Maybe. I honestly don't know. Until then... hope you enjoy this!

Part 4

When Jay woke up the next morning, Ryo was not next to him on the couch. In fact, he was nowhere to be seen.

“Ryo?” Jay called. Or rather, attempted to. At some point, he had lost his voice.

Shit.

Luckily the vampire had excellent hearing. He poked his head around the corner of the kitchen door. “Yeah? What do you need?”

“Nothin’. Just wondering where you went.”

Ryo frowned. “Your voice kind of sounds like shit.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Jay coughed harshly as if to emphasize his point.

“At least you don’t sound so stuffy anymore. That’s something. Are you feeling any better?”

Jay nodded. Aside from his voice, he was feeling much better than he had the night before.

“Good thing vampires heal quickly.”

“Yeah, good thing.”

“Want some soup?” Ryo called as he disappeared back into the kitchen. Not waiting for an answer, he reappeared moments later carrying a steaming bowl of chicken soup.

“Thanks,” Jay said earnestly.

As Ryo moved to set the bowl on Jay’s lap, Jay held up a hand to stop him.

“What?”

“W-wait… gonna s-snee…IIIETSCHIH! Sneeze.” Jay cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“That’s alright.”

Ryo gave him the bowl and Jay ate quickly.

“Careful,” Ryo warned. “You’ll burn your tongue.”

Jay ignored him. When he had finished the soup, he gave the bowl to Ryo, who put it in the sink.

Ryo returned to the living room to find Jay seated on the couch, one hand hovering just under his nose. His eyes were closed, his nostrils flaring, his breath hitching.

“Gesundhiet,” Ryo grinned.

Jay dropped his hand and let out his breath in a rush. “Dammit,” he muttered.

“What?”

“I keep doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Almost sneezing. But it always goes away right at the last second.”

“That sucks. Have you tried looking at a light?”

“N-no… Oh, fuck, here it comes agai-hahh… again…”

“Look up at the light.”

Jay did as he was told. His breath hitched. “Ehh… heh… Hehh-ehh… Ehh-heh-HEH…” He sighed again.

“Well, damn. That always works for me.”

“Lucky you.”

“Looks like we’re just gonna have to get creative.”

The look of horror on Jay’s face was priceless, and Ryo wished he had his camera with him at that moment.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s nothing for you to worry about. Just tell me when you feel like you have to sneeze again.”

Jay shrugged. What do I have to lose? “Alright. Shouldn’t take long.”

He was right. After a slightly awkward silence that lasted just over a minute, his eyes closed again.

“R-Ryo… I’m gonna…”

“Shh, no talking!” Ryo sat down next to the couch and proceeded to brush the tip of his fingernail around Jay’s nose.

“W-what are you… heh… doing?”

“Helping,” Ryo replied innocently. He continued moving his finger slowly, gently, the tip of his fingernail barely touching Jay’s sensitive nose, the edges of which were pink and roughened as a result his cold. Down the bridge of his nose, down the side, then around the edge of his nostrils, then beneath them, as Jay’s breath hitched dangerously.

“Oh, damn!” he breathed.

“What’s wrong?” Ryo asked, unrelenting.

“Tih-tickles s-so much… I r-really have to... t-t-to… ehh…”

Ryo moved his finger again. “To what?”

“Ahh! S-ss-suh… huh… Snee-hee-sneeze! Ehh… Hih-ehh… Heh… A’heh! Heh! Eh!”

“So close,” Ryo whispered. “Just a little more. You can do it.”

“Heh-ehh… Ehh… Ihh… Hihh… Hih-ih, ih!“

“That’s it.”

“O-oh… shi-hih! Hih-hih-ih! Ahh… A’heh, heh! Hah’ah! Ah! Haahhh… A’hah-ah-ih-ih-hih-IH! HIH-IIITSCHJUHH!” Jay sighed and dragged his fist under his nose.

“There. That wasn’t so hard, now was it?”

“Speak for yourself.”

“Is that better?”

Jay sniffed experimentally. “Yeah, much better. Thanks.”

Ryo smiled. “Anytime.”

End.

And there you have it. Goodbye for now!

[VividBubbles!]

I. LOVE. THIS. I need to find better words. *wanders off to find dictionary*

BYE!

[Akahana]

OH MY GOD!!! It was so good I LOVE IT!! I feel bad for him though, I'm sick right now too. I FEEL YOUR PAIN MAN!!!!!

TT . TT

[Coffee Chicken Barista]

LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!