Bitter-Sweet Release (X-MenFC-M)

[DaylightStarr]

A/N: I hope this is related enough to go here.

Title: Bitter-Sweet Release

Pairing: Charles/Erik (more of pre-slash, though, I think)

Word-count: 1640-ish

Rating:PG

Summary: Erik finally gets the comfort he so needs and deserves in the form of a compassionate friend. Who just so happens to be a light sleeper.

A/N 2: Written for this prompt: http://1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/8359....06791#t17306791

Sleep never came easy to Charles Xavier. Even when he was able to tune out the thoughts of others around him he was busy worrying about those under his care. He had never dreamed that he would have such a high stress teaching “job” this soon after graduating from Oxford himself. Yes, the “class” was tiny, but they had such individual needs. Not to mention that fine-tuning all these gifted kids was hard work. Especially when one stopped to think that, through trail and error, he was making the curriculum up as he went along.

Of course Charles had help, of a sort. But, auburn hair aside, Moira had no mutations at all, thus she was of little help. She didn’t understand these kids the way Charles did, and couldn’t think how to help them even if she could understand. And Erik… Well, Erik was emotionally unstable, to say the very least.

In fact, this instability was how Charles came to find himself in Erik’s bedroom the third night of the group’s arrival. In spite of Erik’s sarcastic remarks, Charles knew that the large house intimidated his friend, who had been used to small hotel rooms and other living quarters for God alone knew how long. The house was huge, almost big enough for every person to have their own hallway, but for this reason Charles had put Erik in a room only four doors down from his.

He had been re-reading a fringe-group-updated version of Origins of Species (the updates in the book being part of what caused him to rethink human evolution completely) when he found himself jerked away from his “light” reading. It came as little shock to him that the source of pain and fear came from his friend’s dream. Or rather, his friend’s nightmare. Charles understood very little from the jumble of German that had, unbidden, invaded his quiet thoughts, but what he did understand was enough to get him out of his own bed and running down the long hallway, clad only in his pajamas and bare feet, the forgotten book shoved under his arm in his race to find out what was wrong. He normally would have set it down, carefully marking the place, but in his worry he didn’t even think about that.

A hand rose to knock on the door, but then Charles thought better of it. With Erik still in the grip of his nightmare, waking him up with a sharp noise was hardly the way to pull him out painlessly. Instead he softly let himself in the room with his master key and sat down on the king-size bed, pulling himself toward the middle where Erik was sleeping so uneasily.

“Erik?” Charles touched the body which was curled around itself in a defensive variant of the fetal position. “Erik, love, I need you to wake up for me, please. You’re having a nightmare.” He gently shook the thin shoulder, unwilling to go into Erik’s head without his express permission again. “Come on, darling, wake up.” His voice was soothing, the pet names coming to him as if they were the most natural thing in the world.

After what seemed to be an hour (although it was really only a few seconds) Erik’s eyes snapped open in a disjointed panic. “Nein, Mama…!” He sat bolt upright in the too large bed and then realized, to his growing horror that, first off, he was not alone, and secondly, his only friend had seen and was seeing him at much less than his best. He sniffed and brought a shaking hand up to his face to quickly wipe the moisture away from his eyes and cheeks. “What the hell are you doing in here?” He made his voice as cold as he possibly could, although it still shook. “I told you to stay out of my head.”

Charles looked at him mildly, taking note of the tear tracks that remained on the high cheekbones, as well at the angry sparks in his red-rimmed eyes. Anger that was directed far more toward Erik himself than Charles. Compassion flooded Charles’ heart, though he knew better than to show it. “My mind cannot always shut out strong emotion, my friend. Especially when I’m in a relaxed state and not expecting it. Would… would you like me to leave?”

The idea of being left alone with what would no doubt be more nightmares scared Erik more than the idea that Charles had witnessed his outburst. Besides, he trusted Charles more than he knew he could ever trust another person and he knew that Charles’ opinion of him would remain unchanged, no matter which option he chose. Armed with that knowledge, Erik shook his head. “No, thank you. I think I’d like the company just now. Forgive me, I didn’t mean to give you a fright.”

“Think nothing of it.” A hand motioned as if to wave the apology away and Charles tucked his feet under himself in a more comfortable position. “Do you want to talk? You don’t have to tell me about anything you’re rather not think about.” He studied the other man closely. It didn’t really surprise him that Erik slept in his clothes, although it must have been a very uncomfortable thing to get used to. However, Charles learned from that first tour inside Erik’s head that after the camps, Erik had never owned a pair of pajamas. He didn’t find them convenient, nor did he enjoy the feeling of not being able to get up and leave at a moment’s notice, if he absolutely had to.

Erik shook his head at first, not paying any attention to the look Charles gave his “sleepwear”. instead, he looked up towards the ceiling and took a deep breath, collecting his thoughts together. “You didn’t have to come in here. It’s not as if I’m not used to dealing with these on my own. I have been for more than eighteen years now.”

Charles regarded the other mutant thoughtfully. “Shouldn’t that be all the more reason to have someone be with you now? You’ve been alone for so long, Erik.” He frowned, fighting an urge to caress Erik’s shoulder. “I want to help you.” Unable to resist, Charles reached out and gently brushed his hand against the soft material of the turtle-neck.

To his own surprise as well as Charles’ Erik didn’t pull away when his friend reached out to him. He leaned into the well-meaning fingers, finding in them all the love and concern that he had missed out on as he was growing up. In that hand, Erik felt love, joy and a pain that didn’t come from unspeakable heartbreak. The single touch opened a floodgate that Erik didn’t even know he still had to work to keep up. And that was when the real tears came. As if by a force stronger than the two men’s abilities combined, Erik found himself being drawn into Charles soft embrace. The book the other arm forgot that it was holding dropped onto the mattress as Charles encircled Erik, allowing him to bury his face in his chest, stroking his damp hair and whispering words of a soothing nature. Words he hadn’t used since Raven was still young enough to need them. Easily Charles guided the sobbing man onto his side as they both stretched out, Erik creeping toward the foot of the bed in order to receive when he had always denied himself in the past more readily.

Charles himself didn’t know how long Erik lay in his arms crying out all his fears, his anguish and his lost childhood to the only man who cared at all. He had pressed several kisses on Erik’s face, head and free hand. He had talked to him, but really said nothing. He had petted and comforted him as he would a child, but thought no less of him for breaking. In fact, he admired him for being able to keep all his suffering in check as long as he had. While bringing his hand up and down Erik’s back, Charles promised himself that he would never talk about this night until Erik brought it up. And if Erik never did, then it would remain something unsaid between them. A bond that neither acknowledged but both held dear.

After an eternity, Erik’s sobs died down, then quieted completely. Charles glanced down at the now still form only to find him asleep. Pulling out a handkerchief from his pajama pocket (after several very proper nannies, followed by equally strict tutors, it would have been unthinkable that Charles did not carry a handkerchief on him at all times), he gently wiped Erik’s face, using his mental abilities only to keep him asleep. Then he pulled the taller man more securely into his embrace and allowed himself to sleep as well.

However, Charles Xavier was still Charles Xavier, and after the precious few hours of sleep that he was able to get, the early morning sun streaming over his body was more than enough to wake him. He would have returned to his own room, but one look at the man still wrapped in his arms, in the warm, inviting grasp of the first dream-free sleep he’d had in years, Charles couldn’t bring himself to move. Well, move anything save his one free hand.

It searched for the book that had been forgotten in the dark of that night. When it finally found it, the book was transferred into the hand connected to the arm that held Erik securely. Opening to the spot Charles had left off, he started to read again, idly pressing a kiss into the soft hair beneath his face. He would move when Erik moved, and only when Erik moved. For now, Charles was more than happy to stay where he was.

[tma]

I am *Really* glad that you posted this. This is Brilliant!! I love relationships that have that complexity to them and you write them Spot on!! Lovely!

[Dusty15]

Oh my goodness this is so so so lovely <3

The detail about Erik never wearing pajamas is what really hit me.

Well done, Daylight! Thanks so much for sharing

[klaus_schnell]

I have to admit, I got a little teary eyed during that scene between them in First Class

this was a great post. I love these two characters!

[Chanel_no5]

It really was a bittersweet story.. Beautifully written, a little odd in the very right way.

[Spoo]

...If I miss one more First Class story because I don't bother checking this section, I'm going to really KICK myself. Anyway! This was beautiful, DaylightStarr. You captured Erik's insecurities extremely well, and Charles was just a dear. Thank you so much for posting this. I hope you write more in the future (fetish-related or not).

[DaylightStarr]

YAY! I'm really glad people enjoyed this story I was a little nervous as it's NOT a fetish story, per se...

Anyway,

TMA: Thanks, I love trying to delve into complex characters and try to figure out what makes them tick.

Dusty15: Glad the pajama thing made sense. The picture was bothering me because Charles was in them and Erik wasn't, so I thought of a plausible explanation, LOL! Glad it worked.

klaus_schnell: (Love your name, by the way) Thanks, I'm really happy you enjoyed it!

Chanel_no5: Awwww! Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Does it count as a non-fetish story? Even though it's still a fan fiction?

Spoo: I fall into the same pit and forget to check here myself. Then I realize that "hey, that was a good story..." I'm trying to get better at looking here, but it's soooooo easy to forget. Anyway, I'm thrilled you checked and liked it. Oh, also your sig... GEH! So awesomely sexy!

[Chanel_no5]

Chanel_no5: Awwww! Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. Does it count as a non-fetish story? Even though it's still a fan fiction?

Kind of... "almost-non-fetish story". New genre. Crossover, of sorts. Seriously, it was really well-written, although I don't know the fandom, I still enjoy good writing.