Take My Hand--It's Always Been Here

[hiyou9]

So, I'm really, really new to the forum, and I'm posting my first story ever tonight. This is completely terrifying, obviously, because posting any sort of writing to a public forum is nerve-wracking.

I of course welcome any and all comments--positive and negative alike--but please, please, PLEASE try to be nice. You can criticize it all you want, but try not to completely rip it to pieces

There's no sneezing in this first part--it just establishes the premise and the relationship between the characters. If it's not completely awful, leave me some feedback and I'll give you more!

So, here we go:

Take My Hand--It's Always Been Here

Prologue

I didn’t mean to end up with Connor. It wasn’t on purpose. Pathetic as that sounds, it’s true.

I was—I am—married. To Lucas. Lucas, who is a wonderful man. Lucas, who is the father of my children. Lucas, who is sweet and generous and caring.

Lucas, who—through no fault of his own—is not Connor. And it was Connor I needed.

It’s always been Connor. It’s been Connor since we met for the first time when we were seven years old and in Mrs. Davidson’s second grade class together.

It’s been Connor since my Dad died when I was in the fifth grade, and Connor came over after school every day for two straight months to try and make me feel better.

It’s been Connor since I had my appendix out in the seventh grade and he was the very first person to visit me in the hospital.

It’s been Connor since my first ever boyfriend broke up with me in the ninth grade, and he came over with ice cream and ‘When Harry Met Sally’ on VHS.

It stayed Connor—even when we got into an enormous fight at the end of our senior year of high school and I told him I hated him and never wanted to see him again.

It was even still Connor when Lucas and I started dating, even though I never admitted it.

When Connor and I reconnected a few years after we’d both graduated from college, I wanted to grab him and hold him and kiss him and never let him go. But Connor was married to Lacy. She had just had their first baby. I was married to Lucas. Our first baby was on the way.

And I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting Lucas, and I also couldn’t stand the thought of losing Connor all over again, so Connor and I pretended there was nothing there.

But there was something. There was always something.

Maybe Lacy was perceptive enough to pick up on something that Connor and I wouldn’t even admit to.

Maybe that’s why she left him.

And maybe that’s why—when Lucas was away on business and the kids were away at sleepovers—Connor and I ended up in bed together.

I didn’t mean for it to happen.

But that doesn’t change the fact that it did.

[Ciuty80]

hm this sounds interesting to me, so welcome to our gorgeous forum

and please write the second part i think most people are

waiting to read the sneezes, so do i at the first place.

but go on maybe there will be others who will respond to your first

story when the next part is on

[hiyou9]

One Month Previously

It was one of those dreary February days that seems to drag on for years.

But it was Friday, thank God. It was Friday and that marked the end of a long and particularly terrible week. Lauren and David had been especially badly behaved—talking back and breaking rules left and right. And Lucas and I had done nothing but fight all week. In fact, we’d been fighting almost all the time for the past few months, and not even about important things—just stupid, trivial things.

He’d left for a four day long business trip that morning and we were both sort of shamefacedly relieved. We had this unspoken agreement that maybe a few days apart would do us some good. We needed some space, some breathing room.

I’d been guility looking forward to this weekend ever since Lucas told me about his business trip that Monday. I’d set sleepovers up for the kids and I’d finally be able to get some time for myself and relax. Take a long bath, read a good book, maybe even give myself a pedicure.

But, after I’d gotten the kids dropped off at school and I was back home, I realized with this sinking feeling that I didn’t feel so great. I didn’t feel sick, exactly; I just felt a little off. My throat was a little sore, I had a bit of a headache, my nose was starting to get stuffy, and—the most annoying thing of all—this nagging tickle deep in my sinuses.

I fixed myself some tea, in the hope that it would soothe my throat and also clear out my stuffy head. When it was ready, I brought it in close to my face and inhaled the warm steam; this was enough to turn the irritating tickle lurking at the base of my septum into a full blown sneeze, “Heh...hhhh...heh’hetchiew! Hi’ishoo! Ht-nxt! Chiew!”

I groaned and grabbed a tissue from the box on the kitchen table and blew my nose. It emptied out my sinuses, but only momentarily—a minute later I was completely stuffed up again. I sighed, and made my way over to the family room sofa to curl up with my tea, a warm blanket, and some daytime TV.

The quiet drone of the TV, the warmth of my blanket, and my general feelings of crappiness combined to make me feel completely and utterly exhausted. Midway through Hoda and Kathie-Lee, I felt my eyes begin to get heavy and shut. As I started to drift off, I murmured to myself, “‘M not getting sick. Not. ‘M just sort of...tired. I’ll be...fine. Just need sleep.”

* * *

I probably would’ve slept until it was time for me to pick up Lauren and David from school if the phone hadn’t rang about an hour after I fell asleep.

I jerked awake when the shrill ringing first impeded on my sleep. It took me a minute to get my bearings, and when I did, I dizzily got up from the sofa and made my way to the phone.

“Hello?” I said huskily.

“Caroline? Jeez, you sound terrible! Are you sick?” It was Connor.

“Oh, hi, Connor. No, I don’t think so. I just woke uhhh...hih....I just...hi’ishoo! Sorry, bless me. I just woke up from a nap, that’s all,”

“You sneezed.”

“Very perceptive of you, Connor.”

“I thought you said you weren’t sick.”

“I’m not sick.”

“You just sneezed.”

“A sneeze doesn’t equal sickness. All a sneeze means is that there was something in my nasal passages that irritated them, and they wanted to get rid of it.”

“Like cold germs.”

“Or dust.”

“But it could also be cold germs.”

“Connor! If I was sick, I’d tell you, okay? But I’m not sick. I’m fine.”

“Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Caro. I called because I was wondering—since Lucas is out of town and Lauren and David are going to be at friends’ houses—if you wanted to do dinner tonight? We haven’t spent any time together, just the two of us, in awhile. It wouldn’t have to be anything big. You can come over to my place and I’ll cook for you? My little monsters are going to be at sleepovers, too.”

“Oh, Connor, that sounds incredible! Thank-you, I’d love to,” I said gratefully, “I’ll be over around...six-thirty? Does that work?”

“Sounds great. See you then, Caro,”

“Seehhhh...hah...a’tishoo! ‘Ishoo! See you then,” I said.

“God bless you,” Connor said suspiciously.

“Thagks,” I said, and immediately frowned at how congested I sounded.

“Caro,” I could practically see his frown through the phone, “Are you sure you’re not coming down with something?”

“Coddor, I've already told you a thousadd tibes: I'b fide! I haved't gotted a chadce to clead up that buch lately. There bust be dust that's triggerigg by allergies or sobethigg.”

“Really? Because, you know, usually when people can’t say fine, they’re not fine.”

I grabbed a tissue and blew my nose, “I am fine, see? It’s just allergies. I’ll see you tonight at six-thirty.”

I knew he was about to say something else, but I hung up before he got the chance. I needed to sneeze again, and I quickly grabbed a handful of tissues and thrust them to my face, “Heh...hhkshieew! Hetchiew! Het-nxt! Nxt! Hih-ISHOO! Oh, Jesus Christ,” I murmured before I blew my nose, to no real avail.

Now that I was more awake and not distracted by talking on the phone, I noticed that my nap really hadn’t done much in the way of making me feel better. If anything, I felt worse. I was lightheaded, shivery, and the ‘bit of a headache’ had turned into a throbbing one. I sighed and absently rubbed my temples.

Okay...so maybe I was getting sick. But it certainly wasn’t anything I couldn’t muscle through. I didn’t want to call Lucas, because he was busy with work and we definitely needed some time apart. I wasn’t about to call Connor, either; he had this caretaking thing. Any time I so much as sniffle in front of him, he goes into full blown super-master-protector mode. It’s sweet, but also a bit frustrating.

I don’t really like being taken care of. I’m more of a caretaker.

[NoV]

Don't be nervous - you're a really good writer I have really enjoyed reading this and look forwards to more.

[hiyou9]

Aw, thanks guys! You're making me blush I'll keep adding to this one, but I have another story that I've been working on, too; and I think I like it more than this one. I'll probably post more to this one and post the first part of my second one soon!

[queenie]

I like Caroline's voice-- very strong and distinctive.

[elements]

I LOVE this and cant wait for more!!!!!